我和鄰居大姐姐的故事（已完結） - 十三

十三

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結果我唔係幾耐煩咁再三同譚梓淇解釋佢話我唔係黑面，佢先至勉強唔再響呢個話題上面纏繞落去。

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佢真係好外向，對住唔係幾耐煩既我都不斷搵話題同我傾。

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不過呢個話題完結之後我地沉默左一陣。

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…

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…

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其實呢幾日我心中有個疑惑。

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「譚梓淇，點解妳咁主動幫我地班既同學手既？仲要主動做埋班長？」

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我疑惑佢點解要做啲咁吃力不討好既野。

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難得見到我主動提問，譚梓淇好似好開心，笑住咁講：「你不如叫我淇淇喇~我啲朋友都係叫我淇淇。」

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「朋友？」我呆左一呆：「妳當我係朋友？」

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佢點一點頭，一臉奇怪：「係呀。有乜問題？」

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哈，升左上中學之後，睇黎真係一個新開始。

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我仲以為…譚梓淇佢純粹係想儘返做班長既責任所以先至陪我行去巴士站。

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我咀角不自覺咁上揚咁笑左一笑：「冇問題。」

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佢見到我笑既時候塊面好似紅左一紅，不過好快就同我講：「咁你以後叫我淇淇喇喎。」

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「嗯。」我心入面沒來由咁感到一陣溫暖：「淇淇。」

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「乖。」佢好似有小小猶豫，不過最後都笑住咁伸手摸摸我個頭。

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之後有小小呆呆地咁對住我笑。

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好似當我小朋友咁。

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如果佢響五分鐘之前咁樣做可能我唔爆粗屌柒佢老母都至少會黑鳩佢面。

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不過只係短短幾句對話之後，我對淇淇既感覺好似有啲唔同左。

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或者…陽光真係會感染到人。

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我諗…佢係第三個當我係小朋友咁拍鳩我個頭而我冇反感既人。

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唔知點解。

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同埋…佢笑得好可愛。

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「呀，答返你個問題先。」淇淇好似突然醒返咁：「因為…我小學既時候，有個好朋友都係咁做。」

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我望住佢，等佢講落去。

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「最初…因為我係轉校生，所以我冇乜朋友，一個人好孤獨。係果個朋友主動幫助我融入大家，仲同我一齊參加唔同既活動。佢唔止幫我，仲有幫其他人。因為有佢，我先可以有個好好既小學回憶。」淇淇笑得好開朗咁講：「佢中學就去左加拿大讀書，走之前佢同我講要將呢份幫人既心意帶埋上中學，所以，我都好想中學既同學們可以好似小學既時候讀得咁開心。」

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估唔到淇淇都試過經歷過孤獨，望住而家咁陽光既佢真係估唔到。

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「佢…係我瞳景既一個對像。」佢再補充。

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呢個人…似乎都影響左佢唔少。

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屌，點解我小學既時候冇啲咁撚樣既同學既？

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「妳係咪對住個個都咁講野？」我問。

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「咁講野？」淇淇露出一個唔係幾明白既表情：「即係點？」

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「唔…即係好似…唔…好似啱啱咁將心底入面既心事都講出黎？」啱啱果啲其實算唔算心事？

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「嘻嘻！秘密！不過啱啱果啲都係我心底話黎，唔算乜野心事啦，個個問我都一定會咁同佢地講！」淇淇笑住咁答。

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呢個時候都有巴士埋站。

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「有車喇，拜拜喇譚梓…」我望到淇淇突然矋住我，即刻改口：「嗯…淇淇。」

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淇淇即刻笑返：「拜拜喇…」等左一陣，再講：「熙熙…」

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我好似冇批准過妳咁叫我…

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不過算喇。

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呢個好愛笑既女孩子，總算係我響中學第一個認識既朋友。

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至於阿必？

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食撚屎喇，阿必係我跟班咋。

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校園生活係咪一帆風順？

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還可以喇。至少比小學時期好得多。

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但係…

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放左學之後既戇鳩啦啦隊練習，真係令到我越黎越不滿…

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或者…

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應該講唔開心先至啱。

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有三個主要原因。

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第一個原因相信大家都估到。

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就係練埋呢啲戇鳩舞同日日鳩叫真係好撚戇鳩。

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第二，就係日日都比柒頭Paul為首既男幹事屌真係好撚難頂。反而啲女幹事又好似對我冇乜野。

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係，我認我係揸流攤…咁點？你越屌我就越揸流攤，吹鳩我脹呀？

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雖然我話就話唔上心，但日日當住咁多同級既同學面前屌柒我都唔係幾好受。。

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至於第三個原因…

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…

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…

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…

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係秋兒姐姐。

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距離比賽越近，佢黎幫手既次數越多。

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但係…我地響練習途中、甚至放學之後既交流都唔多。

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練習既時候佢真係一個副社長，放學之後佢就要同其他幹事檢討。

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我曾經以為，佢會好似平時咁特別照顧我。但佢只係對我同其他中一社員一樣咁一視同仁。但除左開學果日之外，我地並冇響學校入面有太多既交流。

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曾經我以為佢對住我果份專屬既微笑，其實…並唔係我獨佔既。

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佢對每一個人都係咁溫柔、咁體貼。

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即使係返左屋企，可能佢都只係當睇住我、照顧我係一種責任。

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佢即使響學校入面，都係一個耀眼既存在。

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我呢？

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我係啲乜？

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會唔會…佢其實會唔會連細佬都唔當我係？

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…

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我唔敢諗落去。

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越諗就越驚…

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我小學既時候，以為秋兒姐姐升左中學之後會唔理我，我地會變得生疏。但事實上又冇發生，佢一樣係咁照顧我。

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好嘞，到我升上中學，我暗地裡認為我同秋兒姐姐可以拉近啲個距離，但事實上…我自己覺得…我同佢既距離好似越黎越遠…

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根本同我預想既完全唔一樣…

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明明讀同一間中學，但依然只係返學同放左學返屋企食飯先有交流。

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更甚者係佢做左副社長加埋會考既關係，放左學佢好似忙過之前咁。

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然後…

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作為一個天不怕地不怕兼唔撚用腦諗野既死仔，我作出左一個戇鳩既決定－

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－逃學。

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（待續）

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十三

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