這種劇情發展怎麼跟日本毒撚動漫十分相似，突然有個陌生女子在家中出現，然後同居。這種既異想天開又陳腔濫調的劇情，連我在講故台看到都會唾棄。若是毒撚甚至是一般男生絕對會點首答允，這樁美事發生十個男生九個都嚮往，剩下一個應該是同性戀。不好意思，我是第十一個。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡck6TkuAK2r
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作為一名A0毒撚當然想盡快交女朋友擺脫這個稱號，但論到同居我絕不同意。先撇開她是一個不知從何而來的陌生人，與女生同居這種事沒你想像中那麼美好。為何我知道?全因我之前與家姐同住十幾年，徹底了解與女生這種生物在同一屋簷下是甚麼狀況。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eVKhhcu9a
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女生與你老媽不同，她們不是照顧你忍讓你的角色，早上搶洗手間，晚上搶電視，半夜在床上與男朋友講電話使你無法入睡，還沒算上其他破壞形象的行為。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmk18r4Em8g
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可能你會說家姐是有血緣關係無法與其他女生相提並論，起初我也是這樣以為，但實際例子往往是最好的論證。有一年暑假，家姐的同學來了我家住了幾星期。家姐的同學長得非常可愛，但這個印象僅維持了幾天，往後的日子仿如多了另一位家姐一樣，我平日遇到的痛苦乘以雙倍。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWqdSsJDvm
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因此我對與女生同居一事只有一個看法，女生的形象率先崩壞，然後你的生活亦隨之崩壞。可能是我太偏激，抑或是我對上述女生本身沒有多餘的遐想。即使今天要與我同居的女生是岑月寧，我還是會拒絕，我怕會破壞她在我心目中的形象。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO5TwOMtgK
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「你傻架?你話係度住我就會俾你住架啦?就算我肯，我老母都唔肯啦。」我將老媽二字搬出來。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HQiImcXy7
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQegIjiRGAK
「即係你阿媽肯俾我係度住，你就肯?」她抓我說話的漏洞。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFVLBFCc0S
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我心裡想著老媽怎麼可能答允，我就放長雙眼看她怎麼垂頭喪氣的離開。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGjFCe3Dhm
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「睇下我老母點應你囉。」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcG9LX6Iwdo
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我跟她說老媽在上班，要十二點才回來，讓她在客廳等。我趕緊換回衣服，然後自顧的走到廚房從櫃中拿出杯麵，打開杯麵提起熱水壺倒水進去。我提著杯麵進房間，打算邊吃邊看伍公子的公子玩walking dead。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6gdxCLBCq
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想不到她跟著我進房間，我回頭望向她，只見她望著我手上的杯麵嚥口水…250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlT6sSY1bMu
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「又點啊?想食啊?」我問。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhJaMPs8LN
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她按著肚輕輕點頭。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡet1q6Fcgdl
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「又話自己係仙子，乜仙子會肚餓架咩?」我嘲諷著說。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vcIKW5aOi
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「唔食咪唔食囉，好叻咩!」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyloxzmtXt9
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想不到她是如此倔強，我沒理會她繼續享用杯麵及公子玩。吃完後打算扔垃圾走出房間時，發現她坐在沙發一邊按著肚一邊怒視著我。她的眼神兇悍得猶如我是她仇人一樣，我怕了她，把垃圾扔掉後，便從櫃子裡拿出另一個杯麵，還注滿熱水送到她面前。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoZEcuAAm9
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNT0gN6Jdoj
「嗱，食啦，廢事你好似隻餓鬼咁啤實我。」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiO6Z95DizI
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「邊個話我肚餓。」她口嫌體正直，雙手已經捧著杯麵。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKwzlqdYP2
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看著她這種反差意外地帶點可愛。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHN8OVNf1U
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她打開杯麵用鼻吸了一口問:250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOBQkqiq8M
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「辣架?」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPQafTBolr
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我家的杯麵一向由我包辦，而我只會吃合味道的香辣海鮮味，要在我家找到別的口味是不可能的。我看她神情驟變便說:250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJZ0wSg4TL
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「唔食得辣啊?咁唔好食囉。」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4K96yw2VR4
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她聽到後反而大口的把麵條吸入，看她吃得滿頭大汗就覺得有點好笑。這種杯麵的辣連譚仔十小辣都不如，居然有人會吃到出汗。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ514mEZv9Jr
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGHkWMo1he
我看她雙唇變得紅彤微腫，便倒了杯水給她，她接過水杯說:250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3dt2lArP2
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「唔該。」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrpi3smhgu
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「唔駛，我唔該你就真，俾我發現原來有人咁渣，連合味道嘅辣都頂唔住。」我笑著說。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0YuJnTG9i
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「好好笑咩!?」她突然怒吼。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBltHIU81Qu
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我被她的神情嚇一跳，收起了嬉笑的嘴臉…250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJlsVTtTX6
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30SmPSFdlY
「你咁嘅態度對女仔，睇死你一定冇女朋友啦。」她噴出一句。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLczCJzLCJ
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她這一句完全是我的致命傷，我不知如何反駁。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJI2qAOP00F
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「唔出聲即係我講中啦。」她接連的攻勢讓我快招架不住。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIlo9qgiG5
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被她說穿事實，我無法裝腔作勢…250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBbbPrAReJ
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「係啦係啦，你啱晒啦得未，我無拍過拖就係原罪，你地有拖拍嘅咪即管笑囉!」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sfO0pfwcd
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我突然想起今早韓信他們也攻擊我這一點，說完我垂頭回到房間裡再沒跟她講話。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNgEOnmhVu
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尷尬的氣氛維持良久，直到聽到開門聲，老媽終於回來…250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIH8rMoOyH
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老媽回來便看到那位女生，問我:250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMmcgoQ0TE
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「阿仔，呢位邊個嚟?」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzhvYhmqVm
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzN1mcTsr5
「你問我?你不如問下你帶返嚟個茶…」我說到一半嘴巴一隻手被捂著。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvCOhjLX7g
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是她阻止了我，然後她把我老媽拉到廚房小聲的密談，我站在客廳聽不到對話內容。片刻後她們出來，我老媽對著我說:250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVrgesO1b4
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「仔，之後曦…啊唔係，呢位茶小姐會係度住一排。」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTwKS35w0p
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WTF!?老媽你搞甚麼?居然會讓她住下來?250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlKt5wB9bF
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「吓!?點解啊?三唔識七點解要俾佢住?邊有咁多地方俾佢瞓?」我愕然的問。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wluMN5h1u
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0MgyiIucW
「你咪理咁多啦，同埋你執返上格床啲野佢瞓返你家姐張床咪得囉。」老媽四兩撥千斤的化解我的問題。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWGIRNP6gj
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZDQlO44Sp
現在同居還不夠，還要同房是嗎?我完全無法接受，顯然我的抗議無法撼動我老媽，我便抓了那女生到一旁…250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBD1K6qOOUP
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「喂!你好講做左啲咩搞到我老母咁順攤?」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTlQWSAKaa
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8vpfKvuSp
「我都話左我係茶碗仙子，呢啲野難唔到我，係你唔信我咋嘛。」她囂張的道。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgvMD1nPcA
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「仲有我唔係叫喂，叫我做茶小姐!」她接著說。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRcJBdXi1q
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglPMAoyqV5
「茶你老…」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyEG1nnNX5
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「阿仔，今晚你瞓廳啦，俾人地女仔瞓房啊，聽日返嚟要執好上格床啊。」老媽打斷我的同時下了不人道的命令。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8ImyD71As
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我不解為何要讓出我的床，怎麼說都應該是她睡在客廳吧…250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmN8u32oXO
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「瞓廳啦你。」她擺出欠打的表情說。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdClifsgiqr
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「你都痴線，我今晚老虎蟹都瞓房。」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT260U8movv
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我絕不退讓，可是強硬姿態敵不過她下一句…250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhIZQAL7xc
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMVWNaVctB
「今晚想同我同床瞓啊?咸濕仔…」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcVqWlvZq5
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我不知道她是故意挑逗還是隨口說，換著別人恐怕早就把她吃掉，可是我在這方面是個廢物，面對這種事情就當機不懂反應，她看我呆掉便說:250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu1EdAe4YX
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「你唔係真係想啊嘛?發夢啦你，同我死出廳瞓!」250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTv15F8lC8
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8I5NjkJZ2
砰!房門大力關上，就這樣我與我的床相隔一道門，只好認命的睡在沙發。唉，我究竟做錯了甚麼落得如此下場，果然與女生同居就不會有好日子過…250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmJwTZMvOP
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