The library was quiet as usual, and Yukari couldn’t be more mad.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFEyeV8L6S
Exams were looming over everyone. Or maybe just her since no one was here studying. No groaning over a difficult question, no asking friends for help, not even distracted chatter about the latest meme. It was just her and the librarian.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPR39TZIDS
Yukari brought a chunky book to the back of the room and rang the bell. She would wonder how anyone could hear its tiny tinkle, but then she remembered that no one was here to drown out the sound with inane conversation.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9xGml2P5l
The room was so quiet that the next sound almost caused Yukari to drop her book. In the room behind the librarian’s desk, dozens of books thudded the ground. Yukari heard a squeak of pain.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMsWEUS6Uy
A moment later, a woman who barely looked older than Yukari opened the door and made her way to the desk, straightening her uniform and wiping the books’ dust off her shoulders. Her blonde, almost pink hair was so long that Yukari could only see a part of it as the rest of it disappeared behind the desk. Her smile was small but somehow dimples were visible on her chubby cheeks. Despite those cheeks, the rest of her body was so thin she seemed more like a wisp of light than a real person grounded in this reality. Her unbelievably pale skin added to this impression. Her big eyes were the colour of harvestbells and the more Yukari described this girl in her head, the more she realised that she was standing there staring at this person she was 55% sure didn’t really exist.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfjseWqmXv
“Sorry for the wait. Are you looking to borrow a book?” 1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFe9DqIESy
Maybe she did exist.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1MKXybiRW
The woman’s voice caressed Yukari’s ears. The library was designed specifically not to echo and yet the woman’s voice seemed to echo on its own. It was high-pitched, but less in a nasal way and more in an operatic way, though even in this empty room it didn’t sound loud enough to fill a theatre.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBEVpNZXw3
Yukari gulped and looked down. “Uh, I was actually wondering if you had any recommendations. I’m looking for a novel similar to this one.” She raised her head. “I’m still doing school work, I swear! I won’t read it until after exams are done.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aRlXdpfAY
The woman’s giggles embraced Yukari. “It’s okay. I won’t judge.” The woman’s eyes somehow managed to grow even wider. “Oh, and, uh, I’m kind of new here. First day. I don’t really know enough of what’s here to make any recommendations.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1mvWMuJIF
“Oh, um…. I guess I’ll just...” Yukari said, throwing the book in the returns box and galloping away.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1I2gGan1aZ
“Wait!” The woman called out. Yukari did as she commanded. “Um, what did you like about this book? I could recommend something I’ve read and see if it’s here.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMUoqOX8Pg
Yukari’s cheeks changed from the paleness of ghosts to the bright shade of poppies. “It was… a strange book. It was about a Japanese woman meeting an Australian florist during World War One. I… I’m not gay or anything, but I was wondering if there were any other books about a romance between two women. You don’t see that too often, so it stood out.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFOHbQUpPn
The woman grinned. “You’ve come to the right person! I’ve got loads of books like that in my collection.” Yukari clenched her teeth to stop her jaw from dropping. “Do you want to read another historical lesbian romance or a lesbian romance about flowers or maybe just a regular modern lesbian romance?”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwNWazd5AK
It took Yukari a moment to process what she was asking as the frequent casual use of the word ‘lesbian’ threw her off.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBIFRGt88y
“Oh, uh, I don’t mind.” 1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rJlAj9B02
The librarian leaned over her desk to get a good look at Yukari. “Hmmm…. I think ‘Rentica’ by Ikamusume Hunter would be a good fit for you.” She typed into her computer and frowned. “... and it’s not here. Sorry. Oh, um…” She lowered the volume of her voice despite no one else being there. “You could always borrow it from me. Come here after exams are done and I’ll lend it to you.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CZAI963Yr
Yukari nodded. “Thank you, miss…”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7m9IkMRA96
The woman laughed. “You can call me IA.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGt8kHTuZ03
When Yukari headed back to the table she was studying at, she heard a beep on her phone and saw a message.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIIkd8KTWo
Hey babe, wanna hang out tonight ;) - Roro row your boat1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67wCD1ouYl
Yukari smiled. Roro still hadn’t changed that punny text signature even after his grades in English started slipping. She remembered the adorably awkward time he tried to explain the joke to her in Japanese.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq62e3ogAm6
Her smile dropped when she looked back at IA, who was struggling to keep the pile of books in her arms balanced kept dropping them.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArl9p7HdbO
Yukari passed all of her exams, though just barely in home ec. She headed to the library after getting her marks back.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uexzPG43J
IA chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck. “I forgot to bring it. I guess I should have been more specific about which date you should have come here. Would you be able to wait until the library closes? We can head back to my place and I can give it to you there.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgHTZ1xRf9
Yukari’s cheeks reddened. “Is that allowed?”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2RajuJHHg
IA tilted her head to the side like a dog failing to understand a command. “Why wouldn’t it be?”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tSBwO26sI
Yukari grinned her concern away. 1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy35ZVWvMSR
After IA locked the library entrance, she led Yukari to her old car with bits of paint missing. Yukari pushed the take away boxes off her seat. 1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60rmeXgwIy
IA smirked at the wheel and sped to their destination. Yukari had to hold onto the door to keep herself from accidentally ramming into it. 1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpZuZhNAN7
IA’s house was a tiny apartment with piles of books on the floor. She somehow knew where everything was and found ‘Rentica’ with ease. It was a thin book with a ghost silhouette filled with a floral pattern on the cover.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi46uzOoFvG
“It’s a romance between a working woman and a strange woman she thinks might be a ghost but doesn’t know for certain. Enjoy.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcWEYbH8gW
“T-thank you. So, um, I’m sorry if this is rude, but I didn’t expect you to have a car like that.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iUvZFeNRZ
“Oh, I like to save money wherever I can. Books don’t grow on trees. Well, actually they technically do, but not direct…. Anyway, I hope you like the book. Do you need me to drive you home?”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7l0bP0b0m
Yukari shook her head. “My boyfriend lives near here.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9OwcQ4RvE
IA had an expression Yukari never imagined seeing on her. Her smile was still there, but it was smaller and didn’t show her teeth. The outer corners of her eyes were creased and her eyebrows were furrowed. 1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPxkAS18Zk
“Oh. Of course. I, uh, hope things go well with him.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvieW5Uqaov
Silence followed. Yukari froze for a moment, then bowed and left without saying a word.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7IFlacdxI
She rang Roro’s doorbell and when he didn’t open the door, she kept pressing the buzzer over and over again.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLTEnw6uLS
When he finally opened it, and he only partially opened it, Yukari giggled. He was wearing pyjamas that were way too big for him and his cotton candy hair was a mess.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRy6aURIzp
“Good morning,” she said with a smirk.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKadjRRwdk
Roro glared at her. “You saw me at school today.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6aAlhnJYq
“So, uh, can I hang out for a bit?”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MFeusX9ZR
The boy looked behind him. “I don’t know if this is a great time. I’m kinda watching a show and it’s getting really good. You can watch it with me if you want, but it’s near the end so you might be a tad confused.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0ez664BxQ
“It’s okay. I’ve got a book I can read.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbPVbYRoyY
“You came all the way here to read a book?”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM77IZI6mk6
Yukari chuckled. “I was already doing something near here and thought I’d drop by.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9t8jXWEOtD
Roro opened the door wider. “Okay, I guess.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGQ6VHlyPi
When they got to the living room, Roro sat down on the couch and Yukari sat on a beanbag. For the first few pages of the book she kept getting distracted by the dialogue on the show, but after that she was hooked.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnTDHlAAlP
She started to pick up on a few similarities between the characters and her and IA. The ghostlike girl had a similar physical description to what IA looked like and was incredibly friendly. The main character didn’t look like Yukari but had the same love of books. She was also a little shy, spending a good chunk of the story trying to muster the courage to talk to the other woman.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCGZc3Nvcn
The writing was simple and Yukari managed to get through half of it before Roro finished his show. In fact, it just stopped after she reached the book couple’s first kiss.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqf1KjvljG
Roro slid down the couch and sat next to Yukari, kissing her on the cheek. She turned her head and kissed him on the lips.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWES8QGz3Sx
Soon enough tongue was added and both people’s breaths became louder. 1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGXWxbbrTp
Something strange happened. After a while, Yukari forgot who she was kissing and thought about the kiss scene in the book. 1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8SXMCbIwA
For a while she felt as if she was kissing a blonde woman with pale skin.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ifto2kKJy
When she returned to reality, she pushed Roro away. Her head was spinning and her breaths quickened almost to the point of hyperventilation. 1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hLwQHhv2Q
She covered her mouth, trying to push the image of IA out of her head. She silently swore. She was familiar with these heart palpitations. They were the same as when she first started having feelings for Roro.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZwSJxbOqX
“Um, I… I have to go.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVArxSwsPl
“Why? Did I do something wrong?”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndtjhqnN3g
Yukari shook her head. “I’ll see you at school.”1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpwwQF08qO
She ran out of the house with her book. She raced home on foot despite knowing the long distance ahead of her.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DES4K8jau
‘I’m not a lesbian. I’m not a lesbian! I like Roro! What the hell’s wrong with me?’1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IsQrdgme9
When she finally reached home, she jumped on her laptop and searched, ‘how to know if lesbian’. She found a lot of stories that didn’t fit her own. Most of the girls online had always felt different but couldn’t put their finger on why. They told stories about having a boyfriend they felt nothing towards. And some of them said they had crushes on female celebrities and classmates when they were as young as eight years old.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBul1fq3Oi
However, one person’s advice struck a chord. ‘If you’re questioning your sexuality, you might not be gay. Consider the other labels out there, such as bisexual, asexual and pansexual.’1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1FqMMjF8V
Such as bisexual, asexual and pansexual.
Such as bisexual.
Bisexual.
Yukari’s entire body shook. She didn’t even need to look into the other sexualities, although a tiny logical part of her thought she should. She found the word and that word made tears fall down her cheeks.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTHQueGk7D
She pictured her parents towering over her, shaking their heads before disappearing. She imagined Roro crying. She could see her female classmates shuffling their chairs a few inches further away.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLm3i4cMWQP
However, after a few seconds of sobbing she smiled. She felt as if she had been welcomed into a club. This weird girl crush may have been just that- a crush, and given her pre-existing relationship a forbidden one- but a discovery about herself was still a discovery. She felt like she had stumbled upon a book in an entirely new genre.1111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0gTfNj1eV
Yukari opened her book from where she was up to and read the rest of the story, kicking everyone from Roro and her other classmates to her parents out of her mind. It was just her and the ghostlike librarian.
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