那時候,我以為自己在失戀,以為自己很了解失戀。816Please respect copyright.PENANAx837gg0lT3
816Please respect copyright.PENANARn3RbwfvFj
想不到偶然下翻開那本《失戀日記》,才真正踏出邁向失戀的第一步。然而日記已被翻開,再沒有回頭之路可走 ── 我必須一頁一頁的繼續,一字一句,記錄我倆沒有明天的故事。
雙手插進褲袋,重複一下接一下地踢著跟前那空洞的汽水罐。罐子每次著地時,總會發出刺耳的,毫無新意的聲音。 816Please respect copyright.PENANADasaAjYTAX
816Please respect copyright.PENANAbt7njCTCte
人們圍在燒烤爐側,嬉笑之聲不絕。熱鬧,嗯,很熱鬧,不過熱鬧並不屬於我。816Please respect copyright.PENANAXTA0xxixqX
816Please respect copyright.PENANAYMsP3EK7Fp
不,應該說,我不屬於熱鬧。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAC2VLsQItyu
816Please respect copyright.PENANAIvocyFE11Z
別人玩得正起勁,我沒有看不順眼的道理,可是熱鬧對失戀中人而言……我們並不願躋身這片熱鬧之中。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAieimuEfosP
816Please respect copyright.PENANAhTsSGseZO8
一些情緒,永遠跟熱鬧氣氛產生排斥作用。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAhSzaGXVj9H
816Please respect copyright.PENANAJkCGXAeHb2
子恆揮舞著串上牛排的燒烤叉朝我走來,「喂!你這人好不識趣!」 816Please respect copyright.PENANAE0WnfmKlOb
816Please respect copyright.PENANAWB0EuIkFgx
我沒好氣地瞥他一眼。 816Please respect copyright.PENANA6D7tifsRvS
816Please respect copyright.PENANAmkkaZweQEV
子恆逕自說下去:「虧我們還擔心你獨守空房胡思亂想,勞心勞力替你辦『BBQ忘情大會』,你卻悶聲不響的跑了出來,真不夠意思!」 816Please respect copyright.PENANAOFFYreMe02
816Please respect copyright.PENANAIvuWHRsJ5E
「拜託!是你硬要拉我來,事前都沒知會我一聲。」我苦笑,「我想一個人冷靜冷靜,我想 ──」 816Please respect copyright.PENANAZ1v0HIV2cY
816Please respect copyright.PENANAF3iRY8mOMU
「想想想,你這人就是想太多!」子恆毫不客氣地打斷我的話,「事情都已過去,還想來幹嗎?」 816Please respect copyright.PENANAzAjaRVsORS
816Please respect copyright.PENANAqXjxuA24c8
我沒好氣地搖頭,「大腦可是很活躍的一團物體,想甚麼不想甚麼,許多時不由我控制。」 816Please respect copyright.PENANAadbzkgRWBg
816Please respect copyright.PENANAASXaQ823DC
「是你自己鑽牛角尖罷了。那芊芊不過長得可愛些,像她這級數的女生還多著,改天約幾個出來給你挑!」子恆大概從沒想過話說出口其實是要負責任的。 816Please respect copyright.PENANA6kAMNtgabj
816Please respect copyright.PENANArjTAFNN4jr
「你要是認識那麼多女神,且還是隨隨便便任人挑的,怎麼就從沒見你手拖一個半個?」在兄弟面前,說話可以毫不客氣。況且所有人都同情失戀中人,對這一群特別容忍。816Please respect copyright.PENANAYTpAXdSqdT
816Please respect copyright.PENANAjwsPbq8gfL
失戀,我,可憐嗎?倒不覺得。816Please respect copyright.PENANAzSjDtk9OZ2
816Please respect copyright.PENANA0Qxcj94SZI
只是……情緒依然低落。816Please respect copyright.PENANAIlSFpRxSSz
816Please respect copyright.PENANAYMTGfYBTUV
是因為先提出分手的是她而不是我?或許。這樣被甩掉總不是味兒。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAf1thWJd2rj
816Please respect copyright.PENANAPMnYf8vOwq
子恆笑,笑得很刺耳,「嘿,還懂得揶揄我呢!可見你還有救。」 816Please respect copyright.PENANAOYW61RW21A
816Please respect copyright.PENANAI8YPtLkkpF
「揶揄?我說的可是實話。甚麼有救沒救?失戀而已,既非車禍絕症,又不是世界末日,救甚麼!」我嗤之以鼻。 816Please respect copyright.PENANABJRikKwJTT
816Please respect copyright.PENANAZyuYv8zMEi
子恆揮拳搥向我胸口,「啐!當真想得那樣通透,就別擺出一副憂鬱模樣叫人擔心!」 816Please respect copyright.PENANAEwJKAEfjM6
816Please respect copyright.PENANA4uFb8rABbs
一口氣將啤酒灌下,任冰涼甘澀的酒精在胃道亂竄,讓我有一剎那放縱的快感,「想得通透不等於放得低,明白和甘心是兩回事。」 816Please respect copyright.PENANA68WBamiKzE
816Please respect copyright.PENANAIfG4b1xiov
子恆忽然收起笑臉,正容道:「威,別把自己迫得太緊。」 816Please respect copyright.PENANAuOs0BSvc9J
816Please respect copyright.PENANAVDll52Cyil
「放心,我才沒有這份能耐。」我將啤酒罐捏成不規則的廢鋁,隨手扔出,正好落在前方的垃圾桶。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAphu9YdCmBx
816Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0QqbhpB4s
「放心?老兄,你將『不開心』三字全寫在臉上,叫人如何放心得下?」子恆拾起一塊小石,朝同一方向擲出,「威,過去的,就由它過去。忘記吧。」 816Please respect copyright.PENANASL6LAb2hgs
816Please respect copyright.PENANA0CYZlqEpoE
「會將心事寫在臉上,表示傷口正癒合;收在心底不讓人看見才最可怕。至於忘記……」816Please respect copyright.PENANAgEnRMUVC4c
我長長地吁一口氣,「我想沒這個必要。」816Please respect copyright.PENANAcRjXkkBhu5
816Please respect copyright.PENANAE62O3YTLtT
沒經歷過「失落」,就無法了解「快樂」;正因為失去過,才能學會珍惜。開心也好,難過也罷,全是生命的一部分,沒必要逃避些甚麼,反正人生不可能每分每秒都過得稱心如意。816Please respect copyright.PENANAROIb01xmzu
816Please respect copyright.PENANAFqYopaoJYQ
我不清楚這種想法是豁達還是阿Q,只知道逃避回憶的人才最可悲。816Please respect copyright.PENANAfu3KXnvEmP
816Please respect copyright.PENANA0hgw3xlaTt
子恆揚起一道眉,「甚麼?看破紅塵?」 816Please respect copyright.PENANAmko3gltOIc
816Please respect copyright.PENANAfMTQFJOIYh
「看破紅塵?還差好遠。只是這幾天把自己困在屋裏,想通了。」816Please respect copyright.PENANAsdB5sdjCdh
816Please respect copyright.PENANAQl57QVVCTC
怪得了誰?愛一個人沒有錯,不再愛一個人,同樣不是罪過。相反,我還得感謝芊芊。曾經,她給我發奮的理由;曾經,她給我軟弱的借口。雖然最後她還是選擇捨我而去,但我決不會忘記她曾帶給我的那些快樂時光。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAQe98IAebvo
816Please respect copyright.PENANA32zFJF78wg
「想通了就好,人總要多跌幾次才會學乖。」子恆擺出一副過來人模樣。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAfIOczlkGvd
816Please respect copyright.PENANATAOz3hzNG9
學乖?會嗎?我。 816Please respect copyright.PENANA5hWfWuRP0g
816Please respect copyright.PENANAfyu6g0BgFv
的確,人總要碰幾次釘才會學乖;然而當一個人過於精刮剔透,大抵又會惋惜失去偶爾糊塗的樂趣。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAtjnlPEa5UA
816Please respect copyright.PENANADkBW9pEYV6
事事看得太清楚,生活就沒啥驚喜。我雖然碰了一鼻子灰,然而不見得會放棄相信。一個人若對生活、對愛情都不再有任何憧憬或要求,那是很可悲的。816Please respect copyright.PENANAUyP4tQN19t
816Please respect copyright.PENANAjecnx4bS04
為堵住子恆有如黃河決堤般的說教,我不得不狠狠回道:「噯,難道要我揭破你活了半輩子仍是 A0 才懂得閉上尊嘴?嘿!」 816Please respect copyright.PENANA69OusRMDjz
816Please respect copyright.PENANAzoECi0Wq0R
「喂喂喂,失戀不代表可以隨便傷人自尊啊!」子恆一張嘴雖硬,心卻最軟,看來他還是會繼續包容我這個得勢不饒人的老朋友。 816Please respect copyright.PENANA8XHbvS2nAR
816Please respect copyright.PENANA4RJs40hPU9
要不是有這樣的好友,失戀的日子也許真不容易熬過去。 816Please respect copyright.PENANALlVzKToXK7
816Please respect copyright.PENANA6CbK4p1Nmb
回程時途經書店,雙腳不由自主地朝店門走去。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAeAUoNxfog4
816Please respect copyright.PENANAR9tUPGJ77Z
樂觀點想,芊芊的離去也不盡是損失,最少時間騰空出來,又可重拾逛書店的樂趣。816Please respect copyright.PENANAyBRoyo3mpD
816Please respect copyright.PENANAHO8sKodxEs
隨手拈起幾本小說,翻了幾頁,放下。816Please respect copyright.PENANA6idVjHc9KB
816Please respect copyright.PENANA3JxU5eJ7P2
都不是我那杯茶。816Please respect copyright.PENANAriF9esqYIj
816Please respect copyright.PENANAQTGwkghbwW
又或是,那些情情愛愛的故事,跟我此刻的心境起了排斥作用,看在眼裏,心就不舒服。
倒是架上一本日記的封面瞬間將我的視線牢牢套住。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAG5G1Q5tpfz
816Please respect copyright.PENANADWPNi5IIj7
日記的設計沒啥花巧,純白封面只印有一對男女的側面素描 ── 一對面朝相反方向的男女。816Please respect copyright.PENANAvfTwc3imag
816Please respect copyright.PENANAUBzVenwBzk
黑白素描線條含糊抽象,感覺很接近,又很遙遠,彷彿兩人剛好擦身而過,不禁讓人聯想到一對曾經相愛,可惜已相對無言的戀人 ── 距離在彼此之間一點一滴堆積,然而雙方卻又很有默契地拉扯下去,沒有誰會主動揭破那段早已壞死的關係,替愛情蓋上謝幕的黑紗。 816Please respect copyright.PENANA7inJLkakWc
816Please respect copyright.PENANAgvwkx0twl1
最要命的,還是封面左下方那短短幾個熨銀大字:失戀日記。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAwNqY3NPTR0
816Please respect copyright.PENANARqzuIqEFd7
從前的日記,大都只以圖案配合規則平行的橫線,然而台灣早年曾興起一種叫「交換日記」的另類日記本。作者喜歡以插畫短文將個人生活點滴和隨想書於日記之內,圖文並茂、生動有趣。816Please respect copyright.PENANAflfVvmTqj4
816Please respect copyright.PENANADn0Bms2L7P
讓人最感興趣的,自然是在寫日記的同時,也像在閱讀別人的生命,充分滿足了人類的偷窺欲。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAkumqQHoy5K
816Please respect copyright.PENANAUqRQUh9zG1
日記是世上最私人的地方,該是藏得最深,最不願意讓人窺見的內心世界。而我手上的這一本,將是兩個在愛情路上跌倒受傷的人的私密天地。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAE6BwXMHn09
816Please respect copyright.PENANAn8cHM8SHIV
我翻開第一頁,邁出闖進別人內心世界的第一步。 816Please respect copyright.PENANACGwMXGF6TM
816Please respect copyright.PENANA0apl8xfwCd
日記簿左上方印著: 816Please respect copyright.PENANAxC8WZaFMQW
816Please respect copyright.PENANAuCI8mY70Vh
習慣你的氣味, 816Please respect copyright.PENANAsKHvTi3msK
習慣躺於你手臂, 816Please respect copyright.PENANARc1SlgNE2v
從今天起 816Please respect copyright.PENANAl3UD5bQS2d
開始習慣身邊再沒有你。 816Please respect copyright.PENANAqhT3K8ZgU7
816Please respect copyright.PENANAZpLnNVL2oU
第二頁的右下方也印有相若句子,彷彿是上一頁的延續:
習慣你的餘溫, 816Please respect copyright.PENANAJRgAg87EsM
習慣你的慰問, 816Please respect copyright.PENANAUzufnctn5B
已太習慣你的吻, 816Please respect copyright.PENANAtQGLVpJdlU
故此習慣不再愛上別人。
還未及翻至下一頁,子恆已將我手中的日記簿搶了過去,「失戀日記?作者跟自己很過不去嗎?誰會買一本只有失戀回憶的日記?」 816Please respect copyright.PENANA7wuUJSHReM
816Please respect copyright.PENANAUPu4QfltuW
我將日記本搶回來,「我。」
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