他的語調很淡,好像在講述一件再平常不過的事情,可是……全然不是這樣的。9Please respect copyright.PENANA5KdXXLiWBw
9Please respect copyright.PENANAJQdYqCyFEH
「你,不應該放棄,而我,也不應該影響你……去捨棄正常一生。」最後他這樣說,然後就沉默了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAOY4p779x4z
9Please respect copyright.PENANAZOmkE1LxQb
「……」9Please respect copyright.PENANAXhyKYrxJtN
9Please respect copyright.PENANAjJz5wu7Oi6
……9Please respect copyright.PENANA2LTwOGs62A
9Please respect copyright.PENANAuyi4ugc1K5
愣愣的看著學長,我覺得……有點困惑。9Please respect copyright.PENANAmRFAFdsFzD
9Please respect copyright.PENANAb291nrBCwU
其實他剛剛說的話,並不是像什麼驚雷一樣突然打醒一個人神智還是怎麼的,應該是說,那些我也想過了,不過是彼此角度與立場有點不同。9Please respect copyright.PENANAJPZV4uXVpY
9Please respect copyright.PENANAkxpZeQV2FT
突然發現──9Please respect copyright.PENANA4eZaF6NisS
9Please respect copyright.PENANA6d8ZsqUCNs
做這些事我是為了……學長,只有極小的部分是為了自己,那時候放不下的感覺是第一次在我的思維裡出現。9Please respect copyright.PENANAjVnTjzhRJk
9Please respect copyright.PENANAw51OciBL7T
隨著成長,我漸漸開始更接近生老病死的周遭,幾次出任務,看見那些喪失親人、愛人的痛苦臉孔漸漸烙印在心底,那時候我就開始想,有一天……9Please respect copyright.PENANAhqRS6OOFx4
9Please respect copyright.PENANAbslg3377wI
有一天這樣事我也會面對,面對親人與有人的離開──我知道我會難過。9Please respect copyright.PENANAO7aYXu2Sbl
9Please respect copyright.PENANAUmH5ozvR9y
而最初時候,也沒也想過什麼假如自己離開了的這種事,直到遇到那位留不住他人的女子後,才不得不意識到一直被努力忽略的,我是妖師,壽命跟人類一樣,但是學長是精靈與獸王族的混血──賽塔已經活了超過兩千年的時光,外表依然年輕,曾未衰老的一切是還能再活得很久、很久的滄桑。9Please respect copyright.PENANA1iIiDCTwym
9Please respect copyright.PENANADAO01Mswb7
那學長會活多久?9Please respect copyright.PENANAFObneBMyZM
9Please respect copyright.PENANAWl2wst83sk
那個曾經的劫難我們已經一起度過,預言師再也沒有為他預言任何災害,所以可以肯定,學長將會活得比想像中的還要久。9Please respect copyright.PENANA347DVbUwBI
9Please respect copyright.PENANAmU5Go13InP
我不知道精靈與獸王族血緣在交會之後誕生的生命到底能夠存在於這世上多久,從一些對話推斷至少也是幾千年吧?但我真的不知道。9Please respect copyright.PENANAS9NxEpk2HM
9Please respect copyright.PENANAZCfYsvWenp
而不想知道的是,我僅有百年左右的日子,到底……在學長的一生中能算得上什麼?9Please respect copyright.PENANAUsER1jsgMY
9Please respect copyright.PENANADVpIf09LFP
如果他是一個不那麼專情的人、如果他可以遺忘,或許事情就不值得擔心,但是他不是。9Please respect copyright.PENANAtXEshSIvZU
9Please respect copyright.PENANAC6YfGFOBpf
雖然到接受黑山君契約之前我還一直在想,也許我不需要這麼做,甚至害怕著有一天,當我真的可以和他活得一樣久,就有一天,他不再在乎我。9Please respect copyright.PENANAKgdzVV9VKA
9Please respect copyright.PENANABjHHNFzO1B
到現在還是不知道學長會什麼會喜歡我,就跟我也不曉得怎麼喜歡上他的一樣,不過他,如此強大、卻總是為我著想……有太多理由我可能會被他吸引,那種心跳的感覺、血液流過的脈動總為他牽引……就是不知道他到底能看上我哪點,還居然在認識不到一年的時間中,就可以為我付出生命。9Please respect copyright.PENANA72fFjiD5Ca
9Please respect copyright.PENANAYRlIctnfdW
所以我害怕又不知道是否該害怕──當我真的可以和他活得一樣久,就有一天,他不再在乎我。9Please respect copyright.PENANAWuMEnHQkT1
9Please respect copyright.PENANAJia2HojMht
因為我想不透我有什麼地方直得他付出永遠。9Please respect copyright.PENANAQqkt5PyPxg
9Please respect copyright.PENANASTYVzByUCy
只是不願意有任何可能性看見他在漫長的年歲中寂寞,就算是我欠他的,這樣一點回報,我還付得起。9Please respect copyright.PENANAU2K9u6pZvu
9Please respect copyright.PENANAAW5dJkwMxd
不過以這些來說,一切都是想多了,很多事情不需要理由,連此刻也是,看他的眼神,我知道我這次選擇沒有錯誤。9Please respect copyright.PENANAczyNTnC9F4
9Please respect copyright.PENANAByviFIvVFO
……9Please respect copyright.PENANAyNd6zJhdtd
9Please respect copyright.PENANAaDB3OnGUKv
唯一從沒有想過的是學長的想法。9Please respect copyright.PENANAAP0TWHTz4m
9Please respect copyright.PENANAfK1Bvt8CkH
如果我能改變自己的命運,如果我能找到方法留下來,學長怎麼可能不知道、辦不到。9Please respect copyright.PENANAKdCnXyfILM
9Please respect copyright.PENANAeMJzw3Vc4W
根本就是他不想。9Please respect copyright.PENANAgahakY97xc
9Please respect copyright.PENANA3BJmXAvZz8
說不想好像也不太對,應該是說,他放棄了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAmeOfcD77jk
9Please respect copyright.PENANAFUfRhyMxVq
我從沒想過學長也會擔心這些,在他說出來那不長的卻難得的一段話中,我可以捕捉到這些念頭,他早想過了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAFIgrbndBbs
9Please respect copyright.PENANAtKLyMg1l9K
但是比起我害怕看見親人離去,他寧願選擇放手。9Please respect copyright.PENANAPiCvlMB8Tg
9Please respect copyright.PENANAZQjMWo5t1u
但是比起我擔心他將不在乎我,他只是想著怎樣對我才是最好。9Please respect copyright.PENANAlenVPGzP8I
9Please respect copyright.PENANAN9GZoTA5rn
到頭來,他還是處處為我著想,我不會去說什麼我直不直得他付出這種話,可是……這樣真的好嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANAK3gdtU4Pek
9Please respect copyright.PENANAndAhsfD4qj
是不是應該也有什麼事是指有我才能為學長做的,而不是一味讓我接受他的幫助、他的掛心、他……隱晦的愛情?9Please respect copyright.PENANANz8fWygRX6
9Please respect copyright.PENANAJRwP9UvQMf
真的會有嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANAszqVB96Maz
9Please respect copyright.PENANAgPGw0yfA5c
「學長……」慢慢的,我小心翼翼的把手搭上學長肩膀,勾著那銀亮髮絲與中間垂下的一縷血色。9Please respect copyright.PENANAj2PE0EpBbi
9Please respect copyright.PENANAVFlsJ1DnCG
「嗯?」他的眼神,大概是不太明白我會想說什麼的樣子。9Please respect copyright.PENANAue7WrWWwRN
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4f9VnWU7tx
這時我知道,有的,一定有什麼是我能為他做的。9Please respect copyright.PENANAb6wj6mcXC9
9Please respect copyright.PENANAYycJu5zd9l
不再需要質疑──他真的需要我,而我也需要他……9Please respect copyright.PENANAPk60Ukq371
9Please respect copyright.PENANAEccBsYIto6
「那個啊……」忍不住又騰出一隻手刮了一下臉,「既然你這麼想,也這麼決定了,那……為什麼還去找那個盒精?聽說那東西,並不好拿。」9Please respect copyright.PENANA7vL15FZNso
9Please respect copyright.PENANAkhiMMxwzad
事實上根本並不是不好拿,而是幾乎不可能拿得到,也不會是一念之間,想去拿就可以順利拿到的東西。9Please respect copyright.PENANAqGu2YIQnvm
9Please respect copyright.PENANAhhLlR7lcPS
白川主我原本裝黑石的抽屜裡,特別留下了關於缺憾盒精的一些事。9Please respect copyright.PENANAEmre95uFfQ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAFSZqx6k5dr
「……」聽到這問話,學長有一瞬間得錯愕也有一瞬間的明瞭。9Please respect copyright.PENANAd8ds97wk9b
9Please respect copyright.PENANAs1pNLR8SgA
「為什麼?」我毫不放棄的再問一次。9Please respect copyright.PENANAZ00g6nNRyg
9Please respect copyright.PENANA8dvUlL5tTf
「因為……」難得猶豫,在某些時候是顯示一個人的絕對在乎,「我沒有辦法完全放棄。」9Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZbF9cIPhU
9Please respect copyright.PENANADPXUe4n0H1
在聽見這句話的時候,我的心跳聲一瞬間變得很鼓譟,像是要脫離胸膛這樣跳出去一般激烈異常,不過慢慢就平復下來了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAqoixGxgkWj
9Please respect copyright.PENANAUxBIegXoai
然後深深吸了一口氣,我用力眨幾下眼睛之後,撐起身體、對準──9Please respect copyright.PENANAlwXyHT27FS
9Please respect copyright.PENANA8iyIMi9jmY
在學長出乎意料的表情中用力親上去!9Please respect copyright.PENANA9SaHSf0aSo
9Please respect copyright.PENANAB1HtcWkpBL
只差沒有直接用撞的了,兩個想太多的人,確實需要狠狠敲一下,之前是我,現在是學長!9Please respect copyright.PENANA25u7rShckU
9Please respect copyright.PENANA3qRgBMQey7
「因為你需要我,而我也需要你,這就是我自願留下來、也讓你留下來的理由。」9Please respect copyright.PENANADWAlasYlqm
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4nXBohjtJK
幾秒之後我就放開搭著學長的手了,非常認真看著他這樣說。9Please respect copyright.PENANAx2ejx8Wnt0
9Please respect copyright.PENANAG1P3SRQi68
9Please respect copyright.PENANAk4FVjNmJNQ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAD6EvRaIyS2
ns216.73.216.30da2 9Please respect copyright.PENANAJQdYqCyFEH
「你,不應該放棄,而我,也不應該影響你……去捨棄正常一生。」最後他這樣說,然後就沉默了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAOY4p779x4z
9Please respect copyright.PENANAZOmkE1LxQb
「……」9Please respect copyright.PENANAXhyKYrxJtN
9Please respect copyright.PENANAjJz5wu7Oi6
……9Please respect copyright.PENANA2LTwOGs62A
9Please respect copyright.PENANAuyi4ugc1K5
愣愣的看著學長,我覺得……有點困惑。9Please respect copyright.PENANAmRFAFdsFzD
9Please respect copyright.PENANAb291nrBCwU
其實他剛剛說的話,並不是像什麼驚雷一樣突然打醒一個人神智還是怎麼的,應該是說,那些我也想過了,不過是彼此角度與立場有點不同。9Please respect copyright.PENANAJPZV4uXVpY
9Please respect copyright.PENANAkxpZeQV2FT
突然發現──9Please respect copyright.PENANA4eZaF6NisS
9Please respect copyright.PENANA6d8ZsqUCNs
做這些事我是為了……學長,只有極小的部分是為了自己,那時候放不下的感覺是第一次在我的思維裡出現。9Please respect copyright.PENANAjVnTjzhRJk
9Please respect copyright.PENANAw51OciBL7T
隨著成長,我漸漸開始更接近生老病死的周遭,幾次出任務,看見那些喪失親人、愛人的痛苦臉孔漸漸烙印在心底,那時候我就開始想,有一天……9Please respect copyright.PENANAhqRS6OOFx4
9Please respect copyright.PENANAbslg3377wI
有一天這樣事我也會面對,面對親人與有人的離開──我知道我會難過。9Please respect copyright.PENANAO7aYXu2Sbl
9Please respect copyright.PENANAUmH5ozvR9y
而最初時候,也沒也想過什麼假如自己離開了的這種事,直到遇到那位留不住他人的女子後,才不得不意識到一直被努力忽略的,我是妖師,壽命跟人類一樣,但是學長是精靈與獸王族的混血──賽塔已經活了超過兩千年的時光,外表依然年輕,曾未衰老的一切是還能再活得很久、很久的滄桑。9Please respect copyright.PENANA1iIiDCTwym
9Please respect copyright.PENANADAO01Mswb7
那學長會活多久?9Please respect copyright.PENANAFObneBMyZM
9Please respect copyright.PENANAWl2wst83sk
那個曾經的劫難我們已經一起度過,預言師再也沒有為他預言任何災害,所以可以肯定,學長將會活得比想像中的還要久。9Please respect copyright.PENANA347DVbUwBI
9Please respect copyright.PENANAmU5Go13InP
我不知道精靈與獸王族血緣在交會之後誕生的生命到底能夠存在於這世上多久,從一些對話推斷至少也是幾千年吧?但我真的不知道。9Please respect copyright.PENANAS9NxEpk2HM
9Please respect copyright.PENANAZCfYsvWenp
而不想知道的是,我僅有百年左右的日子,到底……在學長的一生中能算得上什麼?9Please respect copyright.PENANAUsER1jsgMY
9Please respect copyright.PENANADVpIf09LFP
如果他是一個不那麼專情的人、如果他可以遺忘,或許事情就不值得擔心,但是他不是。9Please respect copyright.PENANAtXEshSIvZU
9Please respect copyright.PENANAC6YfGFOBpf
雖然到接受黑山君契約之前我還一直在想,也許我不需要這麼做,甚至害怕著有一天,當我真的可以和他活得一樣久,就有一天,他不再在乎我。9Please respect copyright.PENANAKgdzVV9VKA
9Please respect copyright.PENANABjHHNFzO1B
到現在還是不知道學長會什麼會喜歡我,就跟我也不曉得怎麼喜歡上他的一樣,不過他,如此強大、卻總是為我著想……有太多理由我可能會被他吸引,那種心跳的感覺、血液流過的脈動總為他牽引……就是不知道他到底能看上我哪點,還居然在認識不到一年的時間中,就可以為我付出生命。9Please respect copyright.PENANA72fFjiD5Ca
9Please respect copyright.PENANAYRlIctnfdW
所以我害怕又不知道是否該害怕──當我真的可以和他活得一樣久,就有一天,他不再在乎我。9Please respect copyright.PENANAWuMEnHQkT1
9Please respect copyright.PENANAJia2HojMht
因為我想不透我有什麼地方直得他付出永遠。9Please respect copyright.PENANAQqkt5PyPxg
9Please respect copyright.PENANASTYVzByUCy
只是不願意有任何可能性看見他在漫長的年歲中寂寞,就算是我欠他的,這樣一點回報,我還付得起。9Please respect copyright.PENANAU2K9u6pZvu
9Please respect copyright.PENANAAW5dJkwMxd
不過以這些來說,一切都是想多了,很多事情不需要理由,連此刻也是,看他的眼神,我知道我這次選擇沒有錯誤。9Please respect copyright.PENANAczyNTnC9F4
9Please respect copyright.PENANAByviFIvVFO
……9Please respect copyright.PENANAyNd6zJhdtd
9Please respect copyright.PENANAaDB3OnGUKv
唯一從沒有想過的是學長的想法。9Please respect copyright.PENANAAP0TWHTz4m
9Please respect copyright.PENANAfK1Bvt8CkH
如果我能改變自己的命運,如果我能找到方法留下來,學長怎麼可能不知道、辦不到。9Please respect copyright.PENANAKdCnXyfILM
9Please respect copyright.PENANAeMJzw3Vc4W
根本就是他不想。9Please respect copyright.PENANAgahakY97xc
9Please respect copyright.PENANA3BJmXAvZz8
說不想好像也不太對,應該是說,他放棄了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAmeOfcD77jk
9Please respect copyright.PENANAFUfRhyMxVq
我從沒想過學長也會擔心這些,在他說出來那不長的卻難得的一段話中,我可以捕捉到這些念頭,他早想過了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAFIgrbndBbs
9Please respect copyright.PENANAtKLyMg1l9K
但是比起我害怕看見親人離去,他寧願選擇放手。9Please respect copyright.PENANAPiCvlMB8Tg
9Please respect copyright.PENANAZQjMWo5t1u
但是比起我擔心他將不在乎我,他只是想著怎樣對我才是最好。9Please respect copyright.PENANAlenVPGzP8I
9Please respect copyright.PENANAN9GZoTA5rn
到頭來,他還是處處為我著想,我不會去說什麼我直不直得他付出這種話,可是……這樣真的好嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANAK3gdtU4Pek
9Please respect copyright.PENANAndAhsfD4qj
是不是應該也有什麼事是指有我才能為學長做的,而不是一味讓我接受他的幫助、他的掛心、他……隱晦的愛情?9Please respect copyright.PENANANz8fWygRX6
9Please respect copyright.PENANAJRwP9UvQMf
真的會有嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANAszqVB96Maz
9Please respect copyright.PENANAgPGw0yfA5c
「學長……」慢慢的,我小心翼翼的把手搭上學長肩膀,勾著那銀亮髮絲與中間垂下的一縷血色。9Please respect copyright.PENANAj2PE0EpBbi
9Please respect copyright.PENANAVFlsJ1DnCG
「嗯?」他的眼神,大概是不太明白我會想說什麼的樣子。9Please respect copyright.PENANAue7WrWWwRN
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4f9VnWU7tx
這時我知道,有的,一定有什麼是我能為他做的。9Please respect copyright.PENANAb6wj6mcXC9
9Please respect copyright.PENANAYycJu5zd9l
不再需要質疑──他真的需要我,而我也需要他……9Please respect copyright.PENANAPk60Ukq371
9Please respect copyright.PENANAEccBsYIto6
「那個啊……」忍不住又騰出一隻手刮了一下臉,「既然你這麼想,也這麼決定了,那……為什麼還去找那個盒精?聽說那東西,並不好拿。」9Please respect copyright.PENANA7vL15FZNso
9Please respect copyright.PENANAkhiMMxwzad
事實上根本並不是不好拿,而是幾乎不可能拿得到,也不會是一念之間,想去拿就可以順利拿到的東西。9Please respect copyright.PENANAqGu2YIQnvm
9Please respect copyright.PENANAhhLlR7lcPS
白川主我原本裝黑石的抽屜裡,特別留下了關於缺憾盒精的一些事。9Please respect copyright.PENANAEmre95uFfQ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAFSZqx6k5dr
「……」聽到這問話,學長有一瞬間得錯愕也有一瞬間的明瞭。9Please respect copyright.PENANAd8ds97wk9b
9Please respect copyright.PENANAs1pNLR8SgA
「為什麼?」我毫不放棄的再問一次。9Please respect copyright.PENANAZ00g6nNRyg
9Please respect copyright.PENANA8dvUlL5tTf
「因為……」難得猶豫,在某些時候是顯示一個人的絕對在乎,「我沒有辦法完全放棄。」9Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZbF9cIPhU
9Please respect copyright.PENANADPXUe4n0H1
在聽見這句話的時候,我的心跳聲一瞬間變得很鼓譟,像是要脫離胸膛這樣跳出去一般激烈異常,不過慢慢就平復下來了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAqoixGxgkWj
9Please respect copyright.PENANAUxBIegXoai
然後深深吸了一口氣,我用力眨幾下眼睛之後,撐起身體、對準──9Please respect copyright.PENANAlwXyHT27FS
9Please respect copyright.PENANA8iyIMi9jmY
在學長出乎意料的表情中用力親上去!9Please respect copyright.PENANA9SaHSf0aSo
9Please respect copyright.PENANAB1HtcWkpBL
只差沒有直接用撞的了,兩個想太多的人,確實需要狠狠敲一下,之前是我,現在是學長!9Please respect copyright.PENANA25u7rShckU
9Please respect copyright.PENANA3qRgBMQey7
「因為你需要我,而我也需要你,這就是我自願留下來、也讓你留下來的理由。」9Please respect copyright.PENANADWAlasYlqm
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4nXBohjtJK
幾秒之後我就放開搭著學長的手了,非常認真看著他這樣說。9Please respect copyright.PENANAx2ejx8Wnt0
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9Please respect copyright.PENANAk4FVjNmJNQ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAD6EvRaIyS2