I'd been on edge since Fajr.
When the email came in last night, I thought it was a mistake. A glitch in the scheduling system. An error someone in HR would correct by morning.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgvKW7i1aL
But then the revised weekly schedule hit my inbox a few minutes later. Every meeting with Imran—gone.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAG6hcpBUL
Replaced with joint sessions, team strategy reviews, and onboarding syncs... all with Lamija Begović.
I stared at my calendar for a full five minutes, just waiting for it to shift back.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HVbZnwrcD
It didn't.
I prayed Fajr at the masjid near my apartment, the one with peeling blue paint and a heater that hummed too loudly.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNP9AaUo0Wx
I needed the quiet. I needed the grounding.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0R7rgVo8A
I tried to focus during sujood, whispered du'a between breaths.
Ya Allah... make me enough.
On the drive to the office, I didn't play Qur'an like usual.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfxtRwd1o9
Just silence.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLYHPEQZOd
Sarajevo was still half-asleep, the city bathed in that cold, pre-sunlight stillness.
Zehira texted me just before I pulled into the lot:
Zehira: Good luck, ljubavi. You'll be brilliant.
It almost made me smile.
Even her mother knew what a difficult woman she'd raised.
I should've gone upstairs.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPOOUbHMQu
Should've taken the elevator straight to the top floor and stepped into whatever version of hell this week would be.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSJTm1E1Oj
But instead, I turned left.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPlBGuYcdV
Down to the garage level.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGWkQiYqQK
To the drivers' lounge.
The room was empty, but warm.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTcZNtIkpe
It smelled like diesel and stale coffee and those cheap Bosnian cigarettes my father used to chain-smoke.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOWE0Vv5yH
I closed the door gently behind me and leaned against it.
This place had barely changed.
Same cracked leather couches.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlswZpH0N4w
Same humming vending machine.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLy4l8jfVZJ
Same half-faded poster about snow chain protocols.
I walked over to the corner where the lockers used to be.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULkJcUTEu9
My father's would've been three from the end.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOr6xeItND0
He used to let me sit in his truck while he checked in with dispatch.
That's where I first saw her.
Lamija was fourteen.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1h90SBolZt
Bright scarf knotted under her chin.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsbY7VMHb3
Boots too clean for the garage.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cgNN3CQ5E
She walked in with a box of new company merch to hand out to the drivers—hats, hoodies, branded mugs.
I was gone the moment I saw her.
She handed a jacket to my father.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSHOubXNlv
Then looked at me.
"You're Ibrahim's boy?" she asked.
I nodded, ears burning.
The cap she put on my head was comically big.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuy2ohvoGV
I could barely see past the brim.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyngpuhlSWU
She grinned anyway.
"Looks good on you."
My father chuckled as she walked away.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWdgLrAjZo
"Little boss got good taste," he said, ruffling my hair.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZKnwiRuHP
"Careful, Ayub. That one's trouble."
I still have that cap.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCGAkY0WKE
Buried in a box in the back of my closet.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsD8on0seZb
Never wore it again, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.
My father died a few months later.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFN08fiSZd9
Rain-slick road. A sharp turn just past Visoko.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYx4fPi3Wo
They found the truck wrapped around a concrete barrier.
I still remember the knock on the door.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEp1a5dqjb
The way my mother cried without sound.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmWHY4CwFr
The way she remarried four months later like my father was a chapter she could close and shelve.
Her new husband didn't want baggage.
I was the baggage.
She left me with my uncle, a man who only tolerated me because he shared a last name with my father. The house was cold even when the heaters were on. I ate alone. Slept with the door locked. Did laundry by hand because no one thought to show me the machine.
Zehira Begović started asking around.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanf7rVizmJ
In the masjids.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVt6ckhoIw
At the community center.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKA8yrbaAt0
Where is Ibrahim's son? Who has him?
She showed up at my uncle's door like a storm in a silk hijab.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYkzaq9Gi9
I still remember the way she pushed past him without waiting for permission.
"Get your things, Ayub. You're coming with me."
And just like that, I did.
I was sixteen when I moved into the Begović house.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALETDz0Pqf
I stayed for two years.
Imran took me in like a brother.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOXQ0Z4iDj
But what their parents gave me—that was something else entirely.
They gave me status.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1AN5QFmcs
Access.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSagHf8lxjU
An education I never dreamed of affording.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojzYajgUJD
Tutors. Travel.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPD7kdCy8F
A desk in the corner of the estate library stocked with everything I needed.
They treated me like a son—not just with warmth, but with investment.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCheIU0QFDS
The kind you pour into a future you believe in.
Even now, they're the closest thing I have to parents.
And Lamija...
Lamija was fire and gravity and sharpness in human form.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSi17iNExSA
I learned quickly to keep my distance.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUZfPsmxbm
To look, but not linger.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eiXmoHjsp
To admire quietly and never, ever want too much.
I sat down on the old couch near the window.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqoegUJTFn
Closed my eyes.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfls0mnDZym
Spoke softly into the space like I used to do when I was a boy sitting in the truck.
"Babo... they want me to work under her now."
I swallowed.
"She's not that little girl anymore. She runs an entire division.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCknxlf72I
And I'm terrified — not of the work, but of falling short of the man they believe I am.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBUevAAdXF
The one she expects."
The silence pressed against my chest.
"I miss you."
I sat there a little longer, until my throat stopped burning.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkjjabLKk4
Then I pulled my shoulders back and headed for the elevator.
The executive floor was mostly dark when I arrived.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XCtCu8x1H
No chatter. No phones ringing.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKEpGWL8vL
Just the soft hum of the lights and the faint click of my own shoes.
Everyone knew Imran started early.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXn72iV85K
Too early.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAGA3HBbgo
He was probably already in his office, sipping bitter coffee and reviewing shipping reports.
I wasn't ready to face him yet.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2jbpE6U4y
Not until I figured out how to say it without sounding like a coward.
My new desk was in the operations wing—closer to Lamija's glass-encased office.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDbG2hUdcc
Front row seats to the storm.
I dropped my bag onto the desk and pulled out my tablet.
The welcome packet was already open—color-coded folders, division performance graphs, open contracts.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJBoOrDMbz
She was nothing if not thorough.
There was a note at the bottom of one file:
Review before the 10am sync. Come prepared. –L.B.
Short. Sharp. Efficient.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHemA6TyRBC
Pure Lamija.
I opened the file.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXIkLCTz3S
My stomach knotted.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9ejzNcOL1
Not because I couldn't do it—but because I'd spent years trying to keep my distance.
And now I was being asked to stand beside her, hold my own, and pretend I wasn't still the boy who remembered the way she said,94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPtFtVvX0D
"Looks good on you."
I stared at the screen until the lines blurred.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCJME7K54p
Then I stood. Slowly. Quietly.
And turned down the hall toward Imran's office.
I didn't knock.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoYVs1GPV3
Not yet.
I just stood outside the door—94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfeLxw7WMh
trying to figure out how to ask the one question I already knew he wouldn't want to answer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Notes from Ash&Olive:
So. We met Ayub.
He prays, he panics, he trauma-bonds with diesel fumes.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseomLR65fj
Very on brand for someone who's about to work under a woman who could shatter him with a sentence and then move on with her day.
Is he emotionally prepared for this transition?94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAWXGAjAax
No.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRfNtOFJKq
Did he try to spiritually process it before opening an Excel sheet?94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVcY41ny57
Absolutely.
He's doing his best.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxR9cAFujj
Unfortunately, his best is now being measured against Lamija Begović at 10am sharp.
Pray for him. Again.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxFz1GYIbe
Or better yet—leave a comment telling me who you think is going to break first.94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oWB9tEzJ1
(It's fine. I already know. I just want to see where your loyalties lie.)
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHBZV61hdC
