34 嘴唇29Please respect copyright.PENANABd2zWtaVU0
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她又怎麼會不知道。29Please respect copyright.PENANARKoQSdl4sv
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或許她無法完全肯定,但她不可能沒有察覺。29Please respect copyright.PENANA8uHcDFW0G3
29Please respect copyright.PENANAoDIKA7CpSt
殷詠弦看著她的眼神,殷詠弦抱著她的力道。29Please respect copyright.PENANAUz93FmtWBX
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她只是盼望,這不是唯一的解答。29Please respect copyright.PENANAj3qGfXJmTK
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啪嚓。29Please respect copyright.PENANAaQuwerKjra
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從機場回到市區的鐵路列車上,許愛悠本靠在玻璃窗上沉思,她聽見身旁的雜音,轉頭一望,卻見阿北拆開了白之戀人的包裝,撕開獨立包裝的餅乾咬起來。29Please respect copyright.PENANAz4NJ4jxYUy
29Please respect copyright.PENANAMrlMjZ9l3j
「喂,」許愛悠說著「我無話包白之戀人係你嫁喎。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAxIldVnoUWu
29Please respect copyright.PENANA8TRU2QhngA
阿北咬了一口帶著濃甜白朱古力的夾心餅乾:「乜唔係咩?咁俾我份手信到底係咩呀?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAfsPq3mJ2QB
29Please respect copyright.PENANAGll10uMuAz
「你食咗我包白之戀人,賠番俾我呀。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAiGDm2twNvG
29Please respect copyright.PENANATZPDWxVp3p
「講真幾好食喎,妳要唔要食一甩?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAooR4F4QCJJ
29Please respect copyright.PENANAFF4zmscujF
阿北又拆開一份獨立包裝的夾心餅,遞到許愛悠嘴前。29Please respect copyright.PENANAM1obsxkTCU
29Please respect copyright.PENANAMZTvprpGpR
許愛悠仍然靠在玻璃窗上,無力地笑了一聲:「你依包應該叫『白痴戀人』。」29Please respect copyright.PENANA2bgDee2bh5
29Please respect copyright.PENANAmzCbU0AiZ9
阿北揚起眼眉:「嘩……咁爛嘅 gag 妳都講,證明真係有事發生。殷詠弦到底同妳……發生過咩事。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAdtzftbuIL7
29Please respect copyright.PENANAfvCza6n17I
許愛悠剎那明白到,原來阿北這一連串無意義的舉動和對話,都是繞了一個大圈引導到這個問題。她坐直身子,握起阿北的手掌,咬了一口他手中握住的夾心餅。29Please respect copyright.PENANASnTrMxEXCu
29Please respect copyright.PENANAsuI2sDRYrB
「小弦係我係依間學校入面,最好最好嘅朋友。」29Please respect copyright.PENANArTw6ZmsjOc
29Please respect copyright.PENANAA2gPduIOJ2
許愛悠這麼說著,阿北卻道:「妳確定係佢眼中,妳只係『朋友』?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAC32ObYS6NB
29Please respect copyright.PENANAHOXv9cxIfT
許愛悠稍低著頭,繼續握住阿北掌頭,咬著他手中的白之戀人:「你應該知道……我一直都好多人追,係所謂『女神』。我先唔講小弦,但前幾年,特別係我同林之年拍拖之前,耐唔耐就有人同我表白,話鍾意我……你可以話依個係借口,但我真係無可能每識一個人,同每一個人做朋友,都要顧及佢地係咪純粹當我係『朋友』。」29Please respect copyright.PENANA1WLMQp7VbZ
29Please respect copyright.PENANAe5JI1kBnm6
阿北看著許愛悠像貓一樣咬著他舉著的餅乾:「但妳依家個樣好苦惱。」29Please respect copyright.PENANABW1vhYn7lF
29Please respect copyright.PENANAsu3oYlnLIf
許愛悠抬起眼看著阿北,抿了抿嘴唇:「咁係因為……我一直以嚟,都拜托小弦幫我做咗好多野,我好希望依一切都係『朋友』之間嘅幫忙,即使佢唔認同咩校規修訂都好,我唔希望……唉……」29Please respect copyright.PENANAU9GUQp7ceO
29Please respect copyright.PENANAHnYZbcVZWp
許愛悠大概把夾心餅吃了一半,又推開阿北的手沒有吃下去,阿北只好把剩下的一半自己吃掉。29Please respect copyright.PENANAtIQ9YpXTV9
29Please respect copyright.PENANAoh0hLKN56c
「我可唔可以問另一個問題,唔關殷詠弦事。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAtMA9yxbxoU
29Please respect copyright.PENANAZyiPdU5Ltr
「嗯?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAAXKu9nwo5o
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「何子晉妳諗住點善後?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAMfVukPkxBp
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許愛悠沉起眼睛,瞪了一眼阿北,但她又垂下無力的肩膀,知道阿北提問背後的道理。29Please respect copyright.PENANA6icJBwKy2D
29Please respect copyright.PENANAM4qSPjlSCi
殷詠弦或何子晉,這兩人之間與她許愛悠的連繫是同性質的,即使她一直不想承認殷詠弦那一部份。29Please respect copyright.PENANAGXpkdVSYyd
29Please respect copyright.PENANAEMOARyMCBF
列車窗外的景色呼嘯流逝,許愛悠卻遲遲沒有回答,然後才說:29Please respect copyright.PENANAKsH4Y7vPhj
29Please respect copyright.PENANAQIsYcuhjJy
「或者……我真係應該係時候,要放棄校規修訂,咁樣就唔會有咁多事會發生,唔洗有咁多野要面對。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAO9aWhRQUoM
29Please respect copyright.PENANACVRPv9q8EC
阿北笑了笑說:「係?咁淨低下半年,妳打算做咩呀?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAdHUEnldDRQ
29Please respect copyright.PENANAxFikC2E6Qv
「咪跳下舞呀,溫下書呀,或者……陪你打下橋牌囉,好無?」29Please respect copyright.PENANA7EJQWPhiPI
29Please respect copyright.PENANAtMi9hNBICD
「我地個橋牌學會岩岩先俾人收咗檔喎。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAivhhZZh6Gp
29Please respect copyright.PENANALUL6oGgw7n
「咁調返轉囉,你嚟跟我學跳舞。」29Please respect copyright.PENANA0pct5JUQcA
29Please respect copyright.PENANA42v6QepcH0
「都好喎,妳 dancing 果邊都好多靚女,我可以享受下好似阿強咁。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAeL6buw86Ck
29Please respect copyright.PENANAtIHm17Ym5Z
「你得唔得嫁,上次聖誕晚會叫你陪我跳咗半晚,跳到好似要 call 白車咁款。我一條囡你都搞唔掂啦,仲要幾條囡?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAAhPQRol6X1
29Please respect copyright.PENANA8WJtvvyfUn
許愛悠擺出囂張的反詰,阿北看著她滿盈如常的笑意,兩人終於相視而笑。許愛悠呼了口氣,把額頭垂下靠在阿北的肩上。阿北輕撫她的肩頭說:29Please respect copyright.PENANAzQixp7vRWh
29Please respect copyright.PENANAGBESQJxrp5
「咁點呀,妳又搞唔搞得掂呀?」29Please respect copyright.PENANA7BaCX2ULa6
29Please respect copyright.PENANAjFfW4eaGjU
許愛悠閉起雙眼,然後發出了繃緊的呼號:「丫啊────────!!!」29Please respect copyright.PENANAQyXFxFw425
29Please respect copyright.PENANAv397wryXv3
阿北感到許愛悠溫熱的額頭壓在他的肩上,他回想她在上學期時遇過的各種困局,也沒有過這份沉重。29Please respect copyright.PENANAW9qRN4qTZa
29Please respect copyright.PENANADD7fqqTSxl
他終於知道這世上也有許愛悠不願直接面對的難題。29Please respect copyright.PENANAJ3tilXRx3N
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█29Please respect copyright.PENANANGhR5GVLb2
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范震升站在學校外的廢棄空地,面前是問校工借來的鐵盆,裡面焚燒著各種古書。29Please respect copyright.PENANAF33IXnVZ52
29Please respect copyright.PENANAByB0UAp8YW
火舌席卷著老舊的硬皮,霉黃的紙張在燃燒下之變成濃重的灰燼,在寒冬中拚發出微弱的碎裂音。29Please respect copyright.PENANAVpdm6FxxD2
29Please respect copyright.PENANAe44QLiBhWJ
程芳靈按范震升的挑選,將更多古書搬到旁邊放下來。29Please respect copyright.PENANAdChqsLgMdJ
29Please respect copyright.PENANAeIrEr5VSdp
「會長……」29Please respect copyright.PENANAw3d7JO88BS
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「我都已經唔係會長,妳可以唔洗咁叫我。」29Please respect copyright.PENANABgmVunSz1m
29Please respect copyright.PENANAhdPP5AR8zn
程芳靈戴著厚重的近視眼鏡,她知道那不足以掩蓋她面上的漲紅。29Please respect copyright.PENANAlk5NXHqu3O
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「咁、咁我……應該、點叫你……」程芳靈說。29Please respect copyright.PENANA28KFjItjvY
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范震升執起鐵叉,撩動著鐵盆中的飛焰。他說:29Please respect copyright.PENANAyHZd4yPqhW
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「Verba volant, scripta manent. (拉丁文:口說必逝,文字留存)。妳鍾意點叫,就點叫。」29Please respect copyright.PENANADno0kWg57b
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「知道,會長……」29Please respect copyright.PENANAynyA5mH9FP
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程芳靈點頭說。她仍然覺得這一切不可思議,她仍然記得過去胡言亂語的范震升,那只能靠她與外界溝通的范震升。29Please respect copyright.PENANABN9EdhN3bI
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但她從來沒有問為什麼,就那像聖誕晚會那天,她收到一套白色的長裙,要她在晚會前換上,然後在社團室中等待。29Please respect copyright.PENANAiSWhZDQaIV
29Please respect copyright.PENANAgS2BXS7cnp
她亦沒有問過范震升這一切原委及細節,為什麼他要偽裝為瘋子,為什麼他卻又選擇重新恢復為常人。29Please respect copyright.PENANAOkYLc0Ae24
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──只要我們想要的生活仍能過下去,這都不重要?是吧。29Please respect copyright.PENANAiuuRcng9G7
29Please respect copyright.PENANAqrNB7PsSWM
程芳靈將一本古書拾起來,察看封面之後,略帶著遲疑地放進火盆裡。范震升注意到她的眼神:29Please respect copyright.PENANAx3hAkUSI6z
29Please respect copyright.PENANAEAc3oM06p9
「做咩呀,唔洗覺得可惜。我揀嚟燒嘅書,都係我地已經有曬PDF,而且……妳應該都知道,一般古書其實唔多珍貴,亦唔值錢。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAPrCVC1v3e6
29Please respect copyright.PENANAtjne7kvSNZ
程芳靈頷首點頭,小手將書本投進火裡,又趕快縮回手來:「我明白,不過……始終……有啲可惜……」29Please respect copyright.PENANAbWsoCvaLFR
29Please respect copyright.PENANAHEzPvlzTd3
范震升在聖誕晚會過後,便主動申請解散歐研,不但不再是十二大社團,更連一般社團也不是。29Please respect copyright.PENANA5MiAtrbosI
29Please respect copyright.PENANA7OCCiRHqjp
那麼他自然就要歸還社團室予學生會,房間中的大量古書也需要找地方安放。范震升決定只要保留最重要最珍貴的一小部份,其他捐增予圖書館,圖書館也無意要接收的,就直接付之一炬。29Please respect copyright.PENANAlhrUwzJXjT
29Please respect copyright.PENANALPTyMVRtS3
程芳靈絕對明白,這些古代文獻能夠流入他們手中的,即使有上百年歷史,但隨時也有上千、上萬個印本,如非與歷史人物有關係的,少一本也不會對人類文明造成任何損失。29Please respect copyright.PENANAlky4yd45VW
29Please respect copyright.PENANAz3zOgUkOqb
只是,當她看著火盆中的飛焰吞噬捲動的書頁,看著那些如石刻般的墨水印刷文字化作飛灰,她仍然惦記著兩人在社團室中歲月靜好的日子。29Please respect copyright.PENANAMYtM1L5Ixl
29Please respect copyright.PENANAKVzpttLL7j
范震升將手放程芳靈肩上,她肩頭一抖被嚇了一跳。范震升說:29Please respect copyright.PENANAJXPLWjKV4w
29Please respect copyright.PENANAgcL51HQcYO
「社團室只係一間房,我地嘅工作仍然可以繼續。至少……我地依家唔再係社團,唔再有咩動議權、唔洗再捲入學生會或者許愛悠嘅事件入面。」29Please respect copyright.PENANA6CiNXHtSQU
29Please respect copyright.PENANAY3mbCf3NEW
程芳靈轉身過來,她望向范震升那修長的五指,她試著輕輕握起他的手,沒有放開。29Please respect copyright.PENANAo17QQf1ykq
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█29Please respect copyright.PENANArcWVNx8hR2
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「真係唔洗我陪妳去?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAfUkOsFH2Ce
29Please respect copyright.PENANAWbyAxbTRjf
阿北與許愛悠來到城中的轉車站,許愛悠領回阿北一直提著的兩大袋手信。29Please respect copyright.PENANAAyCPtM9O36
29Please respect copyright.PENANAKCgUVdt33R
「唔洗啦,」許愛悠擺出笑容說「我識咗小弦咁耐,佢又唔會對我點嘅。」29Please respect copyright.PENANA74XAg4QMns
29Please respect copyright.PENANAMIYzIrfTLg
兩人從機場坐鐵路回到城裡後,許愛悠決定先將手信搬回家中,然後再去學校旁邊的小教堂裡去找殷詠弦。29Please respect copyright.PENANAxR6Avs0Zfp
29Please respect copyright.PENANAvvT3h56VXf
阿北與許愛悠居住在不同區份,便送她來到轉車站。眼前仍然是晝短的冬日,蜜色的陽光像在許愛悠的毛衣上披了一層明亮的雪。29Please respect copyright.PENANAqjlWc4SPCI
29Please respect copyright.PENANAtAVd9e0lwf
「我仲諗住去妳屋企參觀下添。」阿北道。29Please respect copyright.PENANAfROzgJ9gho
29Please respect copyright.PENANAWZd4sNTfZA
「咦,」許愛悠打趣說「睇嚟你真係對我阿媽好有興趣喎!」29Please respect copyright.PENANAssB9seYq01
29Please respect copyright.PENANAU1upiRcrBi
「……妳落雨唔好出街,遲早行雷劈死妳個不孝囡。」阿北碎碎諗道。29Please respect copyright.PENANAxFj7pDQ0sN
29Please respect copyright.PENANAVru9UArgf2
「哈哈,聽日都開學啦,」許愛悠說「我屋企離學校仲近啲添,你鍾意嘅叫埋強強呀、芳靈呀,或者雪蕾BB佢唔厭棄嘅,咪上嚟坐下囉。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAamTu1kDw7r
29Please respect copyright.PENANAntetkRPkiA
阿北也知道殷詠弦的事情,必須要許愛悠親自去處理。他便說:「咁好啦,聽日見。」29Please respect copyright.PENANANYiwCDxy4c
29Please respect copyright.PENANA06V5gZnbv3
「啊,」許愛悠像突然想起來「俾你嫁。」29Please respect copyright.PENANA3euKV3DIna
29Please respect copyright.PENANAwDKU3he9Na
許愛悠放下兩袋手信,沒有從那一堆雜七雜八的手信中翻找,而是將手伸進她的毛衣外套內袋中,再取出來。29Please respect copyright.PENANAaQMIOF5Eur
29Please respect copyright.PENANAwpabwqavuJ
阿北看見她的手心上,有一道深銅色手鏈,連帶著一把老舊生鏽的鐵色古典鑰匙。29Please respect copyright.PENANAaJ0JOK5UzT
29Please respect copyright.PENANANsziFlBs4Z
手鏈很幼細,鑰匙則是尋常大小,看來只是一般的手飾。29Please respect copyright.PENANAZhYvoIPPom
29Please respect copyright.PENANAkq0PypZj9s
「吓……」阿北不免失笑「依個就妳俾我嘅北海道手信?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAfxGVLm3RBb
29Please respect copyright.PENANAsWfewxaFsg
阿北曾想象過,許愛悠會給他食物、蛋糕、啤酒、護身符又甚至是實體版AV,卻沒想到最後竟然是一把老舊的鑰匙。29Please respect copyright.PENANAUHsZRVsbYP
29Please respect copyright.PENANA9GNVmATEXG
「係呀,」許愛悠板起臉瞪著雙眼「咁你係咪唔要丫!我係函館嘅古著店見到,專登配埋條手鏈俾你嫁!」29Please respect copyright.PENANAuWETy5Ysq3
29Please respect copyright.PENANAcHfTtFQMII
「唔係、唔係咁嘅意思……」阿北連忙說,然後從她手心檢起那把附著手鏈的鑰匙「多謝妳啦,我一定會好好戴住佢,希望唔會俾訓導主任周到。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAJNVSJmUVku
29Please respect copyright.PENANAbO66PhBXfe
許愛悠「哼」了一聲,看車快到了,她便提起兩袋手信,準備排隊上車,又微笑說:「都多謝你嚟接我機啦,知你個死仔唔鍾意出街。」29Please respect copyright.PENANA4kcfcJ0tSY
29Please respect copyright.PENANABbG6GMhUGY
「係嫁,」阿北說「我咪成日都話,我最希望就係冬天乜都唔做係屋企睇電視,夠鐘就食飯。」29Please respect copyright.PENANApyTd8AQZp7
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許愛悠聽過不止一次阿北的這個「夢想」,她應道:「我唔識煮野食嫁喎。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAxvJpGRYEgh
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「我都唔識。」29Please respect copyright.PENANApQ8AKX6eMB
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「咁點算呀?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAUmaaDzCTRp
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「我唔知呀,」阿北聳肩道:「到時再算啦。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAz9OvTR7cyA
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許愛悠嬌笑著沒有回答,走上車門。阿北看她往內裡的座位走去。29Please respect copyright.PENANAB9rStXv3Ka
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「愛悠!」阿北在車外,無理由地喊了一句「聽日見喇!」29Please respect copyright.PENANAm7wN1JAhS9
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許愛悠回頭朗聲道:「咪講咗啦!又講?好呀!聽日見啦!」29Please respect copyright.PENANANMjutyWvKd
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阿北在巴士站內,望向許愛悠走到坐位上坐下來。車窗折射的斜陽下,他好像看見她低垂著臉,收起她剛才那嬉玩的笑意,陷入無盡的思緒裡,在公路上遠去直至消失在遠處,消失在阿北的眼前。29Please respect copyright.PENANAsKJ0S6QUA3
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█29Please respect copyright.PENANAwaKxmmRFF4
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──妳會唔會幫我祈禱呀,小弦。29Please respect copyright.PENANAfGsgAnimXO
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許愛悠孤身走在陰冷的林間,快日落了,天色由金黃轉為蒼藍,她帶著散光的雙眼稍看不清通往教堂的林間小道,兩旁的植披像被潛藏魔物與禁忌的森林。29Please respect copyright.PENANADPx4nipXCY
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許愛悠清楚記得是二年級那年認識殷詠弦,她是位有點體弱但很真誠的朋友。29Please respect copyright.PENANAgqFwW7YaMD
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許愛悠早就感覺殷詠弦對自己格外關懷的視線,可是她不論生理或心理上,也絲毫沒有那界線外的共嗚。29Please respect copyright.PENANABo7l1umTx5
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她記得殷詠弦是在二年級的下學期開始信教,學生信教一點也不稀奇,但殷詠弦卻異常地虔誠。29Please respect copyright.PENANACvE7dH8PCI
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班上的同學開始戲稱她為修女,許愛悠作為她最親密的朋友,也感受到殷詠弦對於宗教與神明的投入。29Please respect copyright.PENANAyBTDI3LLpi
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可是,她曾經有過一種難言的直覺,偶爾她聽見殷詠弦一個人在教室角落輕聲誦禱,那都像是一種自我懲罰,一份苦行。29Please respect copyright.PENANA7UoI5GkPdx
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然而隨著殷詠弦信教的時間愈長,許愛悠卻覺得她看自己的眼神愈是濃烈。她一直要自己處之泰然,就像那些突然如來向她告白的男生,就像那些無來由地妒忌她的女生,但她亦知道,即使是她,許愛悠,也無法完全在人的愛慾憎惡之間找到最恰當的解答。29Please respect copyright.PENANANmhbKFRSpA
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她只知道,殷詠弦是她的朋友,這一點由始至終,直到永遠也不會改變。29Please respect copyright.PENANAa4fcelQBXi
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許愛悠推開教堂的門,幽暗的堂內點著燭火,充滿油蠟與壇木的味道。29Please respect copyright.PENANAVwbAHIDISF
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她看見一個孤瘦的身影,穿著修女袍,跪在聖壇前低頭禱告。29Please respect copyright.PENANAEHcsjXp2mE
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「小弦。」29Please respect copyright.PENANACLygK5tdrO
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許愛悠走到她的身後,嘗試用平靜的語氣說。29Please respect copyright.PENANA6ovMejxevq
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當然殷詠弦轉頭站起來身,許愛悠卻一下子要抑壓住流淚的衝重。29Please respect copyright.PENANABTFSeVIhjw
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殷詠弦兩頰消瘦,眼窩灰黑,虛弱的眼裡佈滿紅絲。她顫顫巍巍地走到許愛悠面前:「小悠……妳終於嚟啦。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAWiMFR7Qer3
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許愛悠皺著彊硬的眼眉,扶起殷泳弦的雙臂:「小弦,妳做乜野?點解、點解妳瘦咗咁多,點解、妳無食野?啊……」29Please respect copyright.PENANA63G3LGnj2Q
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殷詠弦張開雙臂,緊緊地抱住許愛悠。29Please respect copyright.PENANADMO5hcRFyI
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許愛悠抽著鼻頭,壓止眼眶的淚水。她驟然明白到,原來殷詠弦一直以來,就等著可以這樣坦白、如實地擁抱她的身體。29Please respect copyright.PENANAzLETfhHJbz
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「我好難過,小悠……我已發咗初願,我已經決定要終身待奉上主,但係無辦法……小悠,妳一直係我心入面、妳仍然係我心入面。我始終無辦法完全放低妳……小悠、我唔知可以點做……」29Please respect copyright.PENANA9KPrLuFhrf
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殷詠弦雙腿突然軟垂,許愛悠也連忙抱著她那單薄的身驅,在冰冷的教堂石地版上跪下。29Please respect copyright.PENANAsk5aw7pCg8
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「小弦,」許愛悠艱難地吸了一口氣「妳對我、啊、妳一直對我好好……真係好好……」29Please respect copyright.PENANAlSG7pdt21Q
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殷詠弦挽起微笑,撫起許愛悠的臉,眼裡終於綻放出一絲的欣喜:「小悠,由我見到妳開始,由妳坐係我面前開始,我就從來就放唔底妳。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAcdxg1qdfMM
29Please respect copyright.PENANANxVWsCFFad
「我知……但係妳首先、妳聽我講,妳唔好咁樣先。妳先好好照顧自己身體、仲有……」許愛悠強忍著淚水說。29Please respect copyright.PENANA5CAn7pXGNt
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「如果妳係知嘅話,」殷詠弦捉緊許愛悠的手臂「點解、點解妳一直都唔回應,點解妳唔話俾我知,妳心入面係點諗……?」29Please respect copyright.PENANAqhtire2IT5
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許愛悠又搖了搖頭:「我、我……對唔住,我真係無辦法。小弦,好對唔住……我無辦法、成為同妳一樣嘅人……」29Please respect copyright.PENANALivuBWHTC6
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殷詠弦流下了淚。29Please respect copyright.PENANAEZIKo3NYhG
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她用盡各種方法去抵抗、去無視、去抑壓、去解脫她內心對許愛悠的眷戀,就因為她知道會有這一刻。29Please respect copyright.PENANAdHyVAOgHb7
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即使她如何投入地去敬愛上帝,始終無法取代她對許愛悠的愛,始終無法找到另一種更美滿的情感。29Please respect copyright.PENANAuPVdv7wvUk
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殷詠弦的淚水湧流不絕,跪著的她像把許愛悠當成懺悔的對象:「我明白,小悠,我一直都明白……妳同我唔係同一種人。但係,聖誕晚會果陣,當我見到妳同阿北跳舞,妳面上嘅幸福。我就知道,我係時候要離開妳,我發初願,我成為修女……我只係唔想再需要妳、唔想再諗住妳……」29Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5q7TJ9QSK
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許愛悠終於收不住眼角的淚水,她握住殷詠弦的肩頭,哽咽著說:「對唔住,小弦。我唔知有咩可以做到,有咩可以講到。但係,小弦,妳點都好,一直會係我嘅朋友──」29Please respect copyright.PENANAuFWgWx1fEG
29Please respect copyright.PENANA5pAl9aNVcV
「朋友?」殷詠弦卻痛苦地苦笑說「妳明知我幾咁愛妳,妳都仍只能當我係朋友。許愛悠,妳唔覺得咁樣好殘忍咩……?我點解,點解一定要愛妳?我點解唔可以同妳一樣,只當妳係朋友……」29Please respect copyright.PENANACXiop5gPA5
29Please respect copyright.PENANA3Dw4mBA9Vg
殷詠弦淚如雨下,許愛悠無計可施抹起她面上的淚,掌中的體溫隨著她那源源不絕的淚而流逝。29Please respect copyright.PENANAidRpGjyOwu
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「我真係唔知、」許愛悠垂著眼淚說「我真係唔知我會令妳咁痛苦。如果妳早啲話我知嘅話、我、我……小弦,如果妳覺得係我錯嘅,我向妳認錯……」29Please respect copyright.PENANAUmoweT0hev
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殷詠弦卻無助地搖頭說:「小悠,有時候我甚至無辦法完全唔去憎妳,甚至無辦法唔去憎我自己。咁多年啦,由妳同林之年拍拖,再到妳同阿北跳舞果陣。我唯一可以做嘅,只有憎恨。但我真係好愛妳,妳每日每夜,都係我心入面……」29Please respect copyright.PENANAu1nYEiMTf6
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許愛悠捧著殷詠弦那淚流不止的臉,她人生第一次感受到如此空洞的衰傷。29Please respect copyright.PENANAv22O4H2vOq
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「如果小弦妳討厭我……會令到妳自己好過啲,咁樣、咁樣……」29Please respect copyright.PENANA9aza8uP5Lr
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許愛悠說不下去,因為殷詠弦又再突然抱住她的身體。29Please respect copyright.PENANAq6ecmEFToJ
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「唔會嫁,小悠。無論如何,我點都一定會愛妳。妳係我第一個愛上,真心鍾意嘅人。由此至終,我都只希望可以同妳一齊,只有希望妳都可以一樣愛我,就算只有一秒、一分鐘都好……小悠,妳可唔可以闔埋雙眼,就俾少少時間我。」29Please respect copyright.PENANAMPeYZf86cb
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殷詠弦的雙眼映照著焚燒的燭火,用瘦弱的手抹起許愛悠臉頰的淚痕。29Please respect copyright.PENANA7dmIQkpWhH
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許愛悠在殷詠弦那骷骨般空空如也的雙眼裡只看見灼痛的慾望,她知道接下來會發生什麼,但還是點了點頭。29Please respect copyright.PENANAY16gyxfTXa
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許愛悠閉上雙眼,然後,她感到殷詠弦帶著淚水的嘴唇吻著她。29Please respect copyright.PENANAbxbG0bK2Gf
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那天晚上,阿北沒有看電視。 29Please respect copyright.PENANAmwwwO9CJeL
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他不時窺看手機,卻始終沒有收到許愛悠的來訊或來電。29Please respect copyright.PENANAxbyR56uP5q
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他想過主動去詢問許愛悠,可是他又想到那與殷弦詠有關,那是否該等許愛悠先主動跟他說。29Please respect copyright.PENANAXgG32GZ6dF
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阿北知道許愛悠是靠著與殷弦詠的關係,才得以掌控真理研究社。有一兩次阿北也見過殷弦詠,可是她只穿著那灰白色的修道服一聲不響,安安靜靜地坐在一邊。29Please respect copyright.PENANAWDkxXZdOXV
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直到今天,他才終於體會到,殷弦詠那總是專注凝望許愛悠的眼神。 29Please respect copyright.PENANAdvq2gilsey
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阿北躺在床上,明天就是下學期的開學日,他打開許愛悠的對話框,但許愛悠卻仍然不在線上。29Please respect copyright.PENANAZMikwFkE7y
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他放下手機,轉又想起橋牌學會被剝奪十二大社團的席位。對他來說,社團室從只是額外的福利,是在林強的慫恿下,他才會去申請認證甚至成為會長,如果這一切打回原形,對他來說其實也無礙,反正就剩半個學年,就要畢業了。29Please respect copyright.PENANAiwgyjopqow
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他也從程芳靈那邊得悉歐研決議解散,她也沒有仔細解釋,但似乎是范震升想遠離學校的各種爭端。29Please respect copyright.PENANAmb1nePTKxb
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莊繞盈也終於獲得了認證及社團室,這麼一來,他與她的立場反而逆轉了,是她成為十二大社團的負責人。29Please respect copyright.PENANAtqJj3plh2k
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是他多慮了嗎?新學年還未開始,卻有一種隱藏在遙遠雲層後的風起雲湧。29Please respect copyright.PENANAK4TzpQ8dRD
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阿北再看了一眼手機,仍然沒有許愛悠的訊息,如果事情是解決了,她一定會先傳簡訊過來。29Please respect copyright.PENANAJH33Qyoy2o
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他拿起許愛悠給他的老鑰匙手鏈,扣在手腕上,那冰冷生繡的質感像結冰的鎖。29Please respect copyright.PENANAeK1h9KM8tZ
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他闔下眼,只是希望,明天早上醒來,會收到許愛悠說「無野嚕」「無事啦」的簡訊。 29Please respect copyright.PENANAuyFbfqyqHO
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而恍惚有夢的一覺之後,他的確收到了簡訊。 29Please respect copyright.PENANAx0tbJ3mYq3
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但不是來自許愛悠的簡訊,而是眾多有關許愛悠的簡訊。 29Please respect copyright.PENANAWdgtTgFxlH
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第二天早上,許愛悠與殷詠弦跪著在教堂中接吻的照片,在學校的討論區及社交媒體上瘋傳。 29Please respect copyright.PENANAssZy0pa4xB