我和鄰居大姐姐的故事（已完結） - 四百三十八

四百三十八

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我諗我同鄭穎琳曖昧不清既關係，終於正正式式咁結束左。

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我呢一刻亦都真係相信佢係鍾意左我呢個無瀨。

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佢雖然知道同我冇可能，但都用呢一次聚舊既機會，去作一次最後既掙扎。

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而呢個掙扎入面，佢將一個問題不經意咁提左出黎。

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我同淇淇拍拖係咪真係開心？係咪真係冇壓力？

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如果係開心冇壓力既，點解鄭穎琳會話我會不自覺咁皺起眉頭？

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我唔知。

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我淨係知道……

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我應該要對淇淇好……

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更加諷刺既係，頭先鄭穎琳錫完我之後我竟然有啲衝動想去扑柒佢，將佢就地正法，將我既子孫射撚晒入佢既淫穴度。

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而我平時對淇淇，係唔會有呢種衝動。

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啊呀，究竟係咪因為我抑壓左自己既性慾太耐，所以先會有咁既反應？

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而我對淇淇又有冇性慾呢…？

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我諗……點都有既，淇淇咁靚。只係我每次一有呢個諗法，就即刻強行將呢個慾望壓抑落去。

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淇淇同我以前啲女唔同，佢非常純品，一啲都唔放蕩……

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我唔想同淇淇做愛，因為……

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……

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……

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……

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我唔想對淇淇負上更大既責任？或者萬一真係分手時都冇咁hurt佢？

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我真係唔知啊…

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我淨係知我要好好對佢。

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聖誕假期好快過，之後假期既每一日，我都係同淇淇一齊過，我地一齊溫書一齊食飯一齊行街一齊準備考試。

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有時我響度諗，其實我拆左石膏之後，雖然隻左腳仲係只可以慢慢行，但基本上要自己照顧自己仍然冇乜問題，淇淇唔需要再日日過黎照顧我都得。

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不過我唔敢同淇淇咁樣講，畢竟佢係出於一片好心先咁辛苦日日過黎搵我，我唔想比佢一種「打完齋唔要和尚」既感覺。

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期中試都好快就考完，4A班黎講淇淇當然係好好成績喇，佢其實文理商科佢全部都好掂，而亦都因為淇淇一直都有同我一齊溫書既關係，我既成績都唔錯。

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但係...

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阿必就慘喇。

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中四開始係會考班分左班既關係，八婆儀係讀緊理科4E班既，所以佢最多只能夠逼阿必溫書，但教唔到佢。

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不過呢一班原本就有啲上年最差果班3E既同學都一齊讀，所以佢都唔係包尾果個。

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「你努力啲得唔得架啫？」八婆儀怒道：「你係咪想下年升唔到上中五！？」

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八婆儀唔係靠嚇架，鄭穎琳就係咁留左兩年班，之後去埋英國讀書。

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「讀書咋嘛，小事喇！」阿必道：「我要踢職業足球都唔駛讀書既！」

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職業足球……

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我個心突然一痛。

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「喂！」淇淇突然出聲。

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阿必望一望我，知自己講錯野，急忙補鑊：「啊，球星都會一齊踢架嘛，係唔係？」

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「......」突然全場氣氛沉默起黎，有啲尷尬。

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「冇事喇我，放心，我唔會擺響心上。」先至奇，我仲係好想踢職業足球。

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不過而家對阿必發老皮又有咩幫助？

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之後八婆儀開始多左強逼阿必去溫書，有時甚至會上埋黎我屋企打搞我同淇淇（因為淇淇係文科，而且下學期既社務係少左，所以淇淇都分到啲時間教阿必），所以阿必既成績都勉勉強強死唔去。

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有時我覺得當阿必同八婆儀上埋黎我屋企既時候我個人好似更加輕鬆，冇單獨對住淇淇時咁大壓力。

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尤其是睇住佢地兩個打打罵罵，八婆儀扭鳩阿必耳仔果一下，我真係會睇到由心入面笑出黎。

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呢段時間入面我都秋兒姐姐都冇乜交集，我有時都好想去特登撞下佢，但奈何淇淇響我身邊影形不離咁陪住我，我都冇乜機會可以單獨自由活動，更遑論係特登去撞佢。

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不過大時大節，我都有send短訊去祝福佢，而秋兒姐姐都有回覆返我。

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我有時返到屋企，訓響床上面就係眼甘甘咁望住以前秋兒姐姐send比我既短訊，係咁望係咁望...

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明明秋兒姐姐就住響我對面，但而家我同佢之間總有一種遙不可及既感覺，又或者我地之間好似有一道極高極厚既高牆咁。

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而我，係冇能力去將呢段高牆破開。

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我究竟仲有冇機會同秋兒姐姐變返以前既姐弟關係咁？

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＊

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好快連社際Sing Con都過埋，即係時候放寒假，準備過農曆新年。

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每年呢個時候我都應該好開心，因為可以見到我老豆。

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不過今年，我好似對呢個節日冇晒期待咁。

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點都好，終於到左大年初一，又係時候去大表姐屋企拜年。

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四百三十八

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