We all have different fears for everything we see but I want to talk about my fears what inside me have all the time.

I can’t do a thing correctly. Some time because of the Fears It’s Like it’s around me all the time.

I want to get rid of it but I can’t I try to do it.

No actually not I let fears control me that’s why I can’t do things.

My father told me to don’t be afraid, think you can do it don’t be fear or Pressurized all the time.

It’s nothing. But I’m still trying to figure out how to do that. I know I can do it, so now I think it’s a little bit better now.

I can do things now with more force. When fear Around me, it’s like saying to me I’m going to make this, going to mess this up , I can do this, why is it that I want to know the reason behind it, is it something bad in the world.

I mean fear how can I Say that. Is fear let you down or let you up. Fear, the bad side of the wall or good side of the world .

The reason I’m saying this is.

I want to know is it some kind of help or not Like sometimes fear gives the courage to do something We fear so some of us are going to do it some of us, not.

Even when we get through this I’m not sure when fear Around us Can we do our things properly, I just don’t know what is fear is why we feel that. It’s killing me now slowly I want to get rid of it.

I try every time but when the Times comes it’s happening so here I’m.

Everyday Life is good Or not,

I don’t know it’s good if we think it’s good and it’s bad if we think it’s bad.

Sometimes everyday life gets a bit boring. But every day is a chance.

Just remember my words. That’s what’s creates you to the future and other things going to happen in life. Some of maybe think this everyday life is boring but everything has a process /a system.

I know it’s hard and boring, I feel that too. That’s why I telling you this and Don’t upset. When I get up in the morning really I don’t what to do it’s like empty something on me.

I think I don’t have the right schedule or time table it’s like a mess in my mind, that’s why I tell you earlier it’s boring. But at the end of the day, it’s not. I don’t know you understand this.

What I’m saying right now. But this how I feel every time I mean every day in my life. Howsoever Some days are better and some days are bad. but like I said before it depends on your situation and your mind and you.

How you react to that. Sometimes I make mistakes too. Some times, I do not know what to do. I feel like I am nothing.

Hour by hour, day by day, year by year, goes on. We getting old every second. What is the meaning of this life? Just think we going to school and college after that we going to find the job and make money got a girl getting married make children and there are going to school.

Do you even understand this as I said earlier chapter this is a circle.

This is all about the circle shit. Don’t you get that? Just think about it.

Days are better. These are all my thoughts. Everyday life has different sides.

Just imagine if you have one day what you gonna do.

What you can do Ah. I know everyday life is boring And sometimes it worries us.

Imagination is better but the reality is hard.

How I say this to you this, World has lots of secrets but I can’t tell you.

You have to find it. It’s not far from you. And these secrets can do great things but you have to do that.

It’s inside of you.

You get one life one chance capture it.

Don’t let it go for any reason. If your mind is good. Life is better. Mark my words. As I said earlier chapter, everything connected.

You haven’t seen it yet.

Every day is good.

Wow, Nature is a Amazing thing Ah whoa👁 that’s right.Nature, in my mind there’s a lot i want to say about nature. yeah that’s right because when i’m in a outside or when i’m all a alone is the great thing i have. nature really helps me out.it’s calm my mind, it’s really relaxing one. helps to my mind, to my body it’s feels like a it’s heals me from

everything yeah that’s right. you should have to try it,it’s a awesome thing. you have to enjoy that alone. because that’s how it is. so anyway i’m going to talk about nature. i think i have a connection with nature,i think so. yes that’s absolutely right. because i want to tell people how i’m spend my life,my mind with this environment.it’s so messy. but there’s a one point. it’s very beautiful to my mind. it’s nature. because the reason it’s so good. you must feel that, enjoy that. Please Humans Don’t Destroy Nature🌳. because that's the only thing we have for all of us. that’s what i think. just think a about for one second. if we don’t have nature we have nothing to belong, nothing to protect. that’s the thing keeps us alive. i think the entire world,space and our own minds and nature have specially connection (don’t you think). because the reason is why i’am telling you this i want to people know things about how i feel about my mind. it’s so messy right now. no every time is so messy. i don’t know why is that. anyway this whole thing like conversation to me. the point of this conversation is (actually i don’t know,what the fuck point of this conversation) i want to just tell you, that’s all. OK let’s get to the point. Naturemy favorite thing about life is nature. just look at your around man. it’s so beautiful. right now i think so my mind connected with nature. there's so much i want to talk a about nature,wind,trees,sun and sunrise the early morning,birds songs,silence,rivers,sky,people,mind,animals. so at the time i been thinking about a lot of things. it’s very hard to my mind, very complicated. i can’t control that sometimes that’s why i want to explain to you all how i feels.

Life,Everyday life,Job,Working,Thinking,Walking,Studying,Living in,Traveling,Worrying,Fighting,Love,Family,I’m,People,Life,Nature,Us,World,Space,Mind

What’s the meaning of all of this, what are you really looking for in this world (Actually i still don’t know what the fuck answer is) but i think i’ll find it one day. nature is everything, it’s effect to everything, it all you have,keeps us alive. To me it feels like i don’t have any time to enjoy nature,environment. it’s feels like that’s way, don’t know why is it. stuck in one place my whole life feels like that way, but when i go to the outside, to the environment it’s feels like a different way. freedom,free it’s like a i just release from something. escape from something No every time it’s not like that. i’m too much upset right now. uh ah fuck shit………..

I wanna go somewhere. Far a where from here. to feel my mind, body, nature and everything. for a minute just think about your life, your journey.

Sometimes life is good and sometimes life is bad. I still know about little things about this life (my life). I think so there’s a lot of stuff I have to know about this Life,world,people,mind. But somehow I know little bit about that.

I want to tell you again all my feelings about Nature.Because I’m really freaking out right now. I don’t know what to do. Really upset about everything (don’t know why) but it’s just like that. But when I feel lonely and worried I’m go to the outside to see environment,the nature. So then I feel free to my mind (it’s so much happiness to feel) there’s so much happiness to enjoy outside world( just go and see,enjoy yourself) enjoy your fucking life man.BecauseIwant to say. I’m stuck in one place. What is the meaning of this life ?. If you think you know the answer. You’re wrong anyway. Because to me everyone don’t know what’s the reason to be here all of us. there are just go on… just living in their life. don’t know what the fuck reason is. there just go to work make money and buy things and again go to work make money and buy things everyday their doing same things like a circle. Do SoMeThInG fOr YoUrSeLf.Every man can give something to the world. New things, don’t waste your time, think about nature. Think about your life. You’re getting older every day.I’mtalkingabout a life here. To me in this world have everything fake,illusion to me. Can you imagine how my mind is. When people read this their think I’m crazy or something. But this is important thing. Think about life, what are these ah, what is the meaning of your life ? What is the reason to you be here ?. What are all of this just look at your around what you see? You’ll say, people going to the work, children’s going to the school, just normal stuff like that. But I want to ask you from all what is this? Why are you doing all this things ? For what. Actually the point of this, I want to tell all of You. We have to escape from this life. We have to realize what’s this life a about. Every day we just go to work and do stuff and make money and again and again same shit. Right. So I mean you should have to give something for this world. Don’t waste your time for unlikes things.

…..Me/Nature…..

Sometimes I feel like I’m totally mess. I’m useless. I’m foolish,mad,lazy,upset,week,fear but the seconds after I think I’m strong and I feel confident. I’m really disarray now no every time I’m over thinking, it’s confusing, actually it’s mental confusion. “A confusing of impressions” everyone act like a good people. but do wrong things. and the world keep going on… what is the point of all of this ah, please can you tell me? our body in present but our minds in the past. everyone live unhappily. people smile at each other. but it’s not comes form the heart it’s fake smile. howsoever nature is the best thing i ever seen in my life. nature give us everything What we want, peace,freedom,happiness and positive (good) life. Meaning of this entire words I want people understands what’s this life,mind,love,nature. But when I’m going to say this most people think I’m joking but it’s not I don’t understands at all everything I told before, don’t you understands when I’m saying ( when you read those words).

Actually. I wanna know meaning about all of this (I was thinking about that unfortunately I don’t understood it) this entire words about how I think about everything in brief. This is my life, my mind.

Present situation

I wanna go some where now…(I’m writing this in the office ,right now our department manager and regulatory executive discussing something also regulatory officer listing to it and other girl doing something from her computer.) ok,anyway. I can’t be here anymore. I’m really upset and I’m so tired to my mind and to my body, so tired man… I want to run away from here.

It has been a memory since I was a child, I used feel so sad when it rain. When I'd no idea why it rained and what seasons are for or how!

Even to this day, when it rains I feel an unforgettable loneliness somewhere in my heart, as if the world is empty without people and love. But that doesn't mean I never had fun in rain.

I do, I love rain. But sometimes you never know how to hold your overwhelming feelings.

I learnt about NaNoWriMo last year, too late to participate in the official challenge, but now find myself able to gear up for it this year.

This blog will serve as my writing journal for that, as well as an author's-journal for my current novel project: Pearls of Paramine: Harbinger.

Feel free to read, follow, and comment as I dive further into the adventure of becoming an author.