I think I have been suffering from insomnia since the day I got to know about Phoebus being Bella’s boyfriend. It was indeed a difficult night to spend alone thinking about both the men who have asked me out but still I felt it would be better to go with Amor than to go with Phoebus since I am almost at the end of my way to get over him. That would be good for all of us, me, Bella and Phoebus. If they continue their relationship for a longer time and ever have plans to have a baby, i will definitely be a good aunt who regrets stepping back but anything for Bella. She is the most important person in my life.
I will always choose Bella before any boy, even if it is Phoebus himself.
Amor seems to be a learned dancer which I am definitely not. What if he rejects me after knowing that? How will I tell him?371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rE1fiBm12
I stood in front of the mirror and made myself understand that he has not asked me to dance with him yet in the language that I know. He should not know that I was that curious about knowing what he said to me last time. I might keep a copy with me and write all the words he says in Spanish, obviously the spellings won't be correct since I never paid attention in the class when they used to teach us Spanish in high school. I realised that if I ever paid attention in that class, I would be communicating to Amor in Spanish only.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlzSVAkOiv
I went to college, seeing Amor standing outside the college, looking again and again at his watch. I think he was waiting for someone. I tried acting like I didn't see him but he stopped me.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2qLiBJMh1
“You remember you wanted to do something as an apology for your behaviour that other day?”
I wish I could say no but my expression changed as if he could understand that I was lying.
“Yes, sir.” I said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYhPxCgzQA
“No sir. I have told you a lot of times. At least not outside the college.” He said and I nodded.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIWGEs3HFn
“I said something in Spanish and I think you did not understand.”371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbou2n7NIf7
I wish I could tell him that I already knew.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWIAN6A9WK
“It means dance with me. So, daphne I don't know why I am feeling weird but let me put it straight. Will you dance with me?” He continued after a pause, “You do not have the pressure of accepting my proposal. I will be waiting. It's just a small family function where I need you to act like my girlfriend and dance with me. Just for a few hours. Think about it.” He left after saying that.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVVMmZmXut
He left me in deep thought. It's not just a dance but also to act like his girlfriend in front of his family. I really don't know how to dance. What if I made a bad impression on them?371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkCVE8pxsX
I really needed time to think. I sorted things a few minutes ago and again it came back to the time when I started thinking about whom to choose.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLXkBIPQ7k
All day I kept thinking about it. I do not remember anything that happened in the class or with me after entering college.
I went to Amor.
“I will come with you.” I said. I can do anything.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOL1kBkZyRV
His face brightened.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2TYfJKfVi
“Thank you, Daphne. It means a lot to me. The party is this weekend.” He said with a wide smile.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxU6vIEWy2E
I nodded once and went back towards my home.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKvZ1HcWgF
I did accept his proposal but I need to ask for permission from my parents too. What will I tell them?371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHMaiusMmv
I kept practising the things I needed to tell my parents.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqQ7HtVg5E
“I need to act like a girlfriend of my professor just for an event.” I murmured.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtzCpLHFQp
No, this does not sound good. I need something that will make them accept it instantly. Maybe I can use Phoebus. My mother likes him but what if he comes to my home. I can't even tell him about the dance thing, he might feel bad. I can go to dance with him too someday. It's just an act. I can tell them that I have a party for a successful project in college or a birthday party for one of my friends, Bella doesn’t know.
At dinner time, I cleared my throat before speaking and gulped.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSenpgeOvfb
“Hi, my dear family.” I said with a smile.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjaGiBTuUz
“Hi baby.” said my parents.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0kTA026Sx
“What do you need?” Arena said. I looked at her with anger.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlq7GMXQTn6
“Obviously, you never speak this politely until you need something. Speak out.” She said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPwnyxddpx
“Arena, why do you think like that? Sometimes it's good to greet family unlike you.” My mother said.
I felt sad for my mother thinking like that, well she was right though.
“It is, I know but I know her too.” Arena said instantly.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QGRheCwc8
“You think you know me but this time you are wrong so just shut up.” I said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrS6Cti1Lq
“Why do you all need to fight at the time of dining? Eat your food.” Father said, half mouth filled with food.
He doesn't like to talk while eating.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAzuJX8rV4
I could not directly ask for permission just because of Arena.
As we were about to end our dinner, I tried to ask them.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHf537oBeC
“I had to ask something.”371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYqKXGRjUr
“See i knew it. I told you.” Arena popped.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbMAVy4mfI
“Shut up!” I continued, “There is a birthday party for a successful project of one of my friends. ”371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvR1yJR4tr
“What?” Mother asked.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHXsyojp83
I realised I mixed up things.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKHgB8Jtw3
“I mean, I need to go to a birthday party of one of my friends this weekend. I needed your permission.” I said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDfmzp0Vdd
“Sure you can go.” my father said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXX1vg1jQi
“Is Bella going there too?” Mom asked.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdAoKbEBZy
“No. Actually you know her. She is socially weird so that girl doesn’t like her thus she won't be there and also don't tell her about it. She doesn't know. She might feel bad.” I said in one flow.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYwnoAnY24
Everyone was satisfied with my reason.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGKgEuFkhZ
“What about Phoebus? He is going to be there, right?” Mom asked.
“I..uh- I don’t know about his bonding with her. Maybe or maybe not.” I said in a bit of shock because I was not ready for that question.
He should not be there, obviously he won’t be there, it's a family gathering.
I took all my shimmer dresses out, there was none left in the cupboard. Shimmer dresses made me look highlighted but I do not need to be in the spotlight. It's just an act so I should not wear something like that.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaznSbQ3fC
My mother entered, seeing all the mess on the bed.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Knpaj4tv5
“Can’t find something to wear?” She asked.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2svwv2ok8O
“Uh..no. I neither want to wear something that will make people stare at me nor something very dull. It's a small gathering but with high profile people.” I told her, sitting tired on the bed.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaB1XvSna6n
“It’s fine, dear. We have bought enough clothes for you that you haven’t worn in years. Use them. I am not going to throw them out unless you use them and they rot.” she said with her arms crossed.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiu2yhp64q
I know she was not sarcastic. I do not wear most of my clothes because I do not go to parties like others but i can't fight with her due to this.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoXgXIZnB4
“Yes, mom. I am checking them out. What do you think about this black dress?” I asked, standing in front of the mirror. I loved that dress.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyit3jOPiF6
“I would definitely like to sell your black dresses. Don’t you have any other?”371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSk8rUZemKt
Yes mom, I do. I do not understand her sometimes, it's irritating.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBb6piNQczA
I took out my dark blue net gown. This was the most simple and beautiful dress I ever had. The sleeves falling from the shoulder, simply designed with blue threads. I love it!
“You can. You have never worn this. Wear it.” She said and left.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vYEJHl3Xs
Who will let her know that the gown was bought by her for the wedding of my uncle a few years back which never took place and then I never got to wear it because we never went to such kind of parties.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9Q9jvmBQo
Oh dear mother of mine!371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIVEKd6U3t
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hGhANdE8O
I was as nervous about the party as I was happy for the weekend. The day had come. I really acted weird that day. My parents were amazed too. They said it was just a birthday party, not my wedding. Who will tell them the truth?
I got ready and planned to meet Amor behind the school. It definitely looked weird that I was walking in a gown that evening. I somehow increased my speed and reached the place he was waiting. For me. No one does.
He was wearing a white suit and the same shade of shirt as my gown, ironic.
“Hermosa!” he said without blinking for a few minutes, looking at me. Again a different language and I guess he has said that before too.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqBCGlKuI0
“Huh? I am sorry but, frankly, you need to understand the language you say, I do not understand at all. I am from America and you may be from Spain like you speak Spanish most of the time.” I said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusKHPFH1td
“You want to know what I said?” He asked, bending a little towards me.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fUMPtPAsd
“Yes. I want to.” I said looking at him.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYksweHCC7O
“I said that you look beautiful, a lot. Today.” He said, looking at me, still bending towards me.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMd9i6jqT5
I gawked a while and in a slow voice asked about him saying the same word the day he went to buy formals for me. He nodded. I blinked and stepped back.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaYhBlPJs7
“Do I have to know something about your family too? You can teach me something in Spanish, that might help.” I said, clearing my throat.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxUoJeXdYy
“Well I can teach you Spanish a bit in the remaining minutes but my family knows English well. Let's get in the car first.” he opened the car door for me and I sat. I took a deep breath before he could enter the car.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyJ45yIlTs
He taught me a few basic words in Spanish. I hope I can say them clearly when the time comes. We reached the place. It was huge and amazing, I never thought to visit such a place in my life. He was definitely rich.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyvLJNAuPB
“You didn’t tell me about your family. I should know about your family. They might doubt me if I don't.” I said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzfLYHBZht
“Sure. I’ll tell you.” He said, getting out of the car.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQqnrFBQJS
Strange.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34nZDy7dS2
He opened the door for me and held my hand unlike the last time when I refused to take his help getting out of the car.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfg5YC6vpDc
“I lost my parents years ago. I went to Spain. I came back when my grandfather died, a few months back. I shifted here and joined the college as a professor.” he said while we entered the huge marvellous hall.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztOYU4GTZJ
“I am sorry that I mentioned your family.” I said with an apologetic look.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlOT3Yc7jF
“It’s totally fine. You should know.” he said with a smile.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXLJtiVCwH
He introduced me to a few of his family members and I greeted them in Spanish but they replied to me in English. I could not believe myself. They looked at me as if they didn’t know the language I spoke, maybe I said it wrong.
I was really enjoying the party. It was an amazing change for once in a while. He stood beside me the whole party.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5ozUVJApF
One of his aunts came and asked, “Where is he?”371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1ODhrj2hU
“Who?” He asked.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUg3ZrbstLV
“Your brother, idiot. Did you forget about him?” She said fiercely.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9X6ntSNVJ
“Oh, how would I know? You know us very well.”371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyzWH7w5wh
“I don't know what to do about you both. Why are you boring her by standing? Go dance. The floor is yours. Enjoy!” She said rubbing my back.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HApMhbzuQ
He stood in front of me and asked me to dance with him in Spanish. This time even if I didn’t know the meaning, I could understand the actions.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCATsTFtff
“Amor. I had to tell you something.” I hesitated.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKgLiOtLuC
“What?” he asked, concerned.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUv3LVSge14
“I don’t know how to dance. I am sorry for not telling you about it earlier.” I said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYAhyNU2yP
He laughed and grabbed my hand with both of his palms and said, “Just follow me. Everything will be fine.”371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCrKcSxhBP
We went to the dance floor. He told me to lose myself as much as possible. He made me feel comfortable and I was dancing like a pro. He was right. Again!371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvD55j5k4a
“You have a brother?” I asked him while dancing with his hands on my waist and mine on his shoulders.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQezUhE4RS
“Yes. A younger brother.”371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczlrJaPAtc
“That’s nice. He stays with you?”371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6ueZS4Chb
“Yeah but we are not on good terms. He doesn’t like me and that goes both ways. We are used to it. I do not interfere with his life and he does the same.” He said, looking away.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvva5yU3IpX
I nodded slightly and continued to dance.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdEptfCIly
We were really enjoying the dance until I saw him.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMPZCAsSGo
“Phoebus!” I shockingly said, pushing Amor back.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSN4KGno7sh
Phoebus was there. Looking at me. He was far but I could see the pain in his eyes. I stepped towards him but Amor stopped me.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplSpT5NFHl
“What are you doing?” he asked.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrlbCh6Vre
“Amor, I saw Phoebus. He’s here.” I said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkqtcF1cOz
“Yes, he is my brother. He has to be here.” He said.
“He’s your brother? Is this a joke?” I frowned.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhmaRPxLxL
“You are saying as if it’s a big deal.” He said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaQL9yGKi6
“Amor, do you understand what you are saying right now? He is your brother and you didn’t tell me about this earlier. Why?” I shouted.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1IRIkN26u
Everyone was looking at us.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfPQP2l3gT
“What are you doing Daphne? Everyone is looking at us.” he said, coming near me.
I pushed him back.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIU7N8LWwD
“I don’t care.” I said and ran from that hall, following Phoebus.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOVSn8EYIt
The pain I saw in his eyes was not explainable. He might be sad because I didn’t tell him about me coming with Amor or maybe because I didn’t reply to him about his dance proposal but went with Amor instead. I don’t know but all I know was I had hurt him. I ran in the heels just to find him.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPscU3734kw
Sequence of questions kept running in my mind.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTf8o9gaGR
How can Phoebus be the brother of Amor? They are related this close yet no one let others know about it, why?371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWhHP7e2Yk
He was sitting, facing down near the footpath, in the dark just like he did in the park the other day. He was hurt about something then too.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECkjRH5LeJ
I went near him.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFeRhdxdVl
“Phoebus, I am sorry. I know I have hurt you. I didn't know he was your brother. Sorry.” I hugged him as he started sobbing.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKwyQamY5r
The man who always made me smile in any form was crying because of me that day.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwHL3XuIyR
“I am sorry.” I cupped his face, wiping his tears.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWtNO2RjOl
“Why him?” He asked and I had no answer to that question.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdhlCZwH6d
“His name is not even Amor.” He said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSIvWYMndQ
I asked his real name.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5J7SfAmLKc
He said, “Ares. His name is Ares. He had to run far from home because he was involved in drug peddling. He ran to Spain and years after he found out that I shifted here so even he came back to the country. All I wanted was to start a simple peaceful life but I can’t just because of him Daphne.”371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmXCtHqDIe
Ares? The boy who made my sister’s life miserable? The man due to whom we had to leave our home?371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBaqIzX46Z
“But you said you were from Delaware, right? You are from there then- then how…how?” I held both of his shoulders, showering the questions altogether at him.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOC1c9CIhIS
“Yes, we are from Delaware. Our father worked in New Jersey, we lived there. After my parents’ death, I found Ares was involved in drug peddling. I complained about it to the police. He and others involved in it were arrested. I heard Ares ran to Spain after some days. I lived in Delaware with my grandfather until he died a few months back. I wanted to start a new life so I came here but he came back in my life, bringing all the terrors I had in the past. Since then he has wanted to hurt me.” he cried holding me tight.
Phoebus is the brother of someone who has messed up with my sister’s life, my family’s life.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7Nl7Wdb1S
He continued, “Don’t you understand all he did was just to hurt me. He is using you.”371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1UTHgLGBs
I was blanked. Whatever he was saying was incomprehensible to me.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJIFRqL5Es
“Why me?” I asked him.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhN40mukKGl
“Because I love you. I love you.” He said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TWhSBrXZS
Everything stopped for me at that moment. I didn’t know the way to process the thing I have been waiting to hear for months. He loves me?371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESigtLacJf
“What the hell Phoebus? You are the boyfriend of my best friend. Did you get that? Stop saying such things.” I pushed him back.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFqiHQl6Hs
“Daphne, listen to me. I fell in love with you at first sight.” He said.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyDU9KW8rS
“Stop it, I said. You are Bella’s boyfriend.” I kept walking back.371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSngrHz6SD
He said, "I could have but I found you...you, Daphne" my name from his mouth felt as soft as Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are.
Bunch of personalities inside my head except the one I showed on my face screamed buss! I kept looking at his lips while he kept saying something until I felt warmth on my face. He was close, so so close. One could cross the ocean and travel through the forest through his eyes or could be stuck there forever if they wanted to. And I want to. Fuck! He's driving me crazy. I... I can't do this with Bella.
I pushed him back but my foot twisted and I was about to fall. I felt a force against gravity and I was surrounded with warmth, his arms. He squeezed me into his arms as if he was scared of me getting hurt.
“I can’t promise to never hurt you but I can’t let others hurt you too. I know the reason behind your denial. We’ll get out of this situation. We will. Once you know the truth.” I could feel his hot breath as he whispered into my ear.
Wait. We? Truth? What is the truth?
I looked into his eyes with a question, was he going to ditch on my friend with me? Oh god, no he can’t!
I pushed him back and ran without saying a word.
More than us, us? me and him, I was scared of losing Bella. She is my childhood friend with same ambition and more than our family gathering gossips, I am used to her stupid unstoppable talks.
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWvGxMQyiu
Dear Diary,371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhuZHceWSJ
I hope you don’t but,371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfaEbjlu6I
do you feel whatever I am doing is wrong?
