I think I have been suffering from insomnia since the day I got to know about Phoebus being Bella’s boyfriend. It was indeed a difficult night to spend alone thinking about both the men who have asked me out but still I felt it would be better to go with Amor than to go with Phoebus since I am almost at the end of my way to get over him. That would be good for all of us, me, Bella and Phoebus. If they continue their relationship for a longer time and ever have plans to have a baby, i will definitely be a good aunt who regrets stepping back but anything for Bella. She is the most important person in my life.
I will always choose Bella before any boy, even if it is Phoebus himself.
Amor seems to be a learned dancer which I am definitely not. What if he rejects me after knowing that? How will I tell him?424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLYkMW5i3n
I stood in front of the mirror and made myself understand that he has not asked me to dance with him yet in the language that I know. He should not know that I was that curious about knowing what he said to me last time. I might keep a copy with me and write all the words he says in Spanish, obviously the spellings won't be correct since I never paid attention in the class when they used to teach us Spanish in high school. I realised that if I ever paid attention in that class, I would be communicating to Amor in Spanish only.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4Vmsbeb1Q
I went to college, seeing Amor standing outside the college, looking again and again at his watch. I think he was waiting for someone. I tried acting like I didn't see him but he stopped me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EUNczQQOs
“You remember you wanted to do something as an apology for your behaviour that other day?”
I wish I could say no but my expression changed as if he could understand that I was lying.
“Yes, sir.” I said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVHuo66PYY
“No sir. I have told you a lot of times. At least not outside the college.” He said and I nodded.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpBVTm7gg1
“I said something in Spanish and I think you did not understand.”424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKdECRirKl
I wish I could tell him that I already knew.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJC9uqQzyA1
“It means dance with me. So, daphne I don't know why I am feeling weird but let me put it straight. Will you dance with me?” He continued after a pause, “You do not have the pressure of accepting my proposal. I will be waiting. It's just a small family function where I need you to act like my girlfriend and dance with me. Just for a few hours. Think about it.” He left after saying that.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvXffEjnQA
He left me in deep thought. It's not just a dance but also to act like his girlfriend in front of his family. I really don't know how to dance. What if I made a bad impression on them?424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDLSXx2jnJ
I really needed time to think. I sorted things a few minutes ago and again it came back to the time when I started thinking about whom to choose.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjqb3jrUfA
All day I kept thinking about it. I do not remember anything that happened in the class or with me after entering college.
I went to Amor.
“I will come with you.” I said. I can do anything.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HYhLew0HJ
His face brightened.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzQsMVAEGG
“Thank you, Daphne. It means a lot to me. The party is this weekend.” He said with a wide smile.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oSg4U1lhY
I nodded once and went back towards my home.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedOyLJOgyD
I did accept his proposal but I need to ask for permission from my parents too. What will I tell them?424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAddVMlddJ
I kept practising the things I needed to tell my parents.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQpDkkLO8t
“I need to act like a girlfriend of my professor just for an event.” I murmured.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszNl4h3zKh
No, this does not sound good. I need something that will make them accept it instantly. Maybe I can use Phoebus. My mother likes him but what if he comes to my home. I can't even tell him about the dance thing, he might feel bad. I can go to dance with him too someday. It's just an act. I can tell them that I have a party for a successful project in college or a birthday party for one of my friends, Bella doesn’t know.
At dinner time, I cleared my throat before speaking and gulped.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayb7UWHBPN
“Hi, my dear family.” I said with a smile.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIve7ep73Tw
“Hi baby.” said my parents.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfNKUANu04
“What do you need?” Arena said. I looked at her with anger.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZvOuiZ3hT
“Obviously, you never speak this politely until you need something. Speak out.” She said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbmHt5JPCV
“Arena, why do you think like that? Sometimes it's good to greet family unlike you.” My mother said.
I felt sad for my mother thinking like that, well she was right though.
“It is, I know but I know her too.” Arena said instantly.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadqwZF2eab
“You think you know me but this time you are wrong so just shut up.” I said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWnBPhfbeP
“Why do you all need to fight at the time of dining? Eat your food.” Father said, half mouth filled with food.
He doesn't like to talk while eating.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHK58As9Q3L
I could not directly ask for permission just because of Arena.
As we were about to end our dinner, I tried to ask them.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvo3t1Z1FV7
“I had to ask something.”424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCLCtuWrpe
“See i knew it. I told you.” Arena popped.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg40XE0Kwiw
“Shut up!” I continued, “There is a birthday party for a successful project of one of my friends. ”424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMMY342lFV
“What?” Mother asked.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGFTFlNMj8
I realised I mixed up things.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPdAECoCKw
“I mean, I need to go to a birthday party of one of my friends this weekend. I needed your permission.” I said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkE4kLgqr8S
“Sure you can go.” my father said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSxSWUNizC
“Is Bella going there too?” Mom asked.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwXvZd1RBE
“No. Actually you know her. She is socially weird so that girl doesn’t like her thus she won't be there and also don't tell her about it. She doesn't know. She might feel bad.” I said in one flow.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrFSYs4j1W
Everyone was satisfied with my reason.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUA2gHCPwv
“What about Phoebus? He is going to be there, right?” Mom asked.
“I..uh- I don’t know about his bonding with her. Maybe or maybe not.” I said in a bit of shock because I was not ready for that question.
He should not be there, obviously he won’t be there, it's a family gathering.
I took all my shimmer dresses out, there was none left in the cupboard. Shimmer dresses made me look highlighted but I do not need to be in the spotlight. It's just an act so I should not wear something like that.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfmO6zf4J2
My mother entered, seeing all the mess on the bed.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0QfnrazGI
“Can’t find something to wear?” She asked.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5Uag53iCO
“Uh..no. I neither want to wear something that will make people stare at me nor something very dull. It's a small gathering but with high profile people.” I told her, sitting tired on the bed.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdzEOTsTET
“It’s fine, dear. We have bought enough clothes for you that you haven’t worn in years. Use them. I am not going to throw them out unless you use them and they rot.” she said with her arms crossed.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJOHB5l3TT
I know she was not sarcastic. I do not wear most of my clothes because I do not go to parties like others but i can't fight with her due to this.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCb459AVGs
“Yes, mom. I am checking them out. What do you think about this black dress?” I asked, standing in front of the mirror. I loved that dress.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZW9yfPrUS
“I would definitely like to sell your black dresses. Don’t you have any other?”424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYkgZ9t9IC
Yes mom, I do. I do not understand her sometimes, it's irritating.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOZoqbzJfA
I took out my dark blue net gown. This was the most simple and beautiful dress I ever had. The sleeves falling from the shoulder, simply designed with blue threads. I love it!
“You can. You have never worn this. Wear it.” She said and left.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ26Z4FRTs7
Who will let her know that the gown was bought by her for the wedding of my uncle a few years back which never took place and then I never got to wear it because we never went to such kind of parties.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLe508JGJTM
Oh dear mother of mine!424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIOeFMpE4X
424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PBKecwi4P
I was as nervous about the party as I was happy for the weekend. The day had come. I really acted weird that day. My parents were amazed too. They said it was just a birthday party, not my wedding. Who will tell them the truth?
I got ready and planned to meet Amor behind the school. It definitely looked weird that I was walking in a gown that evening. I somehow increased my speed and reached the place he was waiting. For me. No one does.
He was wearing a white suit and the same shade of shirt as my gown, ironic.
“Hermosa!” he said without blinking for a few minutes, looking at me. Again a different language and I guess he has said that before too.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWY23qMpD2z
“Huh? I am sorry but, frankly, you need to understand the language you say, I do not understand at all. I am from America and you may be from Spain like you speak Spanish most of the time.” I said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nGfm8xOG2
“You want to know what I said?” He asked, bending a little towards me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJePSSUKQzs
“Yes. I want to.” I said looking at him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmCgJXvj4v
“I said that you look beautiful, a lot. Today.” He said, looking at me, still bending towards me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzOYPiPxVy
I gawked a while and in a slow voice asked about him saying the same word the day he went to buy formals for me. He nodded. I blinked and stepped back.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8la6PYvQTc
“Do I have to know something about your family too? You can teach me something in Spanish, that might help.” I said, clearing my throat.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2A6k6WS318
“Well I can teach you Spanish a bit in the remaining minutes but my family knows English well. Let's get in the car first.” he opened the car door for me and I sat. I took a deep breath before he could enter the car.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuj9oQbDYdD
He taught me a few basic words in Spanish. I hope I can say them clearly when the time comes. We reached the place. It was huge and amazing, I never thought to visit such a place in my life. He was definitely rich.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfC1Vq4uLpv
“You didn’t tell me about your family. I should know about your family. They might doubt me if I don't.” I said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dl7YTKZxd
“Sure. I’ll tell you.” He said, getting out of the car.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDErht0Ul6N
Strange.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzFh1TIlOG
He opened the door for me and held my hand unlike the last time when I refused to take his help getting out of the car.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJC0VxYrjUC
“I lost my parents years ago. I went to Spain. I came back when my grandfather died, a few months back. I shifted here and joined the college as a professor.” he said while we entered the huge marvellous hall.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeGpSMLTE6
“I am sorry that I mentioned your family.” I said with an apologetic look.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmxNUez5Dv
“It’s totally fine. You should know.” he said with a smile.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzOMiqC64N
He introduced me to a few of his family members and I greeted them in Spanish but they replied to me in English. I could not believe myself. They looked at me as if they didn’t know the language I spoke, maybe I said it wrong.
I was really enjoying the party. It was an amazing change for once in a while. He stood beside me the whole party.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeKQXtuc7S
One of his aunts came and asked, “Where is he?”424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTJmAuq3DF
“Who?” He asked.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBGI2UCntb
“Your brother, idiot. Did you forget about him?” She said fiercely.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhcgMN9846
“Oh, how would I know? You know us very well.”424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahw3FwxhOd
“I don't know what to do about you both. Why are you boring her by standing? Go dance. The floor is yours. Enjoy!” She said rubbing my back.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsV4ckhG23
He stood in front of me and asked me to dance with him in Spanish. This time even if I didn’t know the meaning, I could understand the actions.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAfojslpa4
“Amor. I had to tell you something.” I hesitated.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SByHxktTz
“What?” he asked, concerned.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NLhTsiiH8
“I don’t know how to dance. I am sorry for not telling you about it earlier.” I said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0eTTrlk2v
He laughed and grabbed my hand with both of his palms and said, “Just follow me. Everything will be fine.”424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYY3ls3DOn
We went to the dance floor. He told me to lose myself as much as possible. He made me feel comfortable and I was dancing like a pro. He was right. Again!424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5orDdZlF2
“You have a brother?” I asked him while dancing with his hands on my waist and mine on his shoulders.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBw3BciGtS
“Yes. A younger brother.”424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAMYj5Qps5
“That’s nice. He stays with you?”424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFx5HkFq0M
“Yeah but we are not on good terms. He doesn’t like me and that goes both ways. We are used to it. I do not interfere with his life and he does the same.” He said, looking away.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXtovWKBCP
I nodded slightly and continued to dance.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5q1Njdf83
We were really enjoying the dance until I saw him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm4fOq3XiW
“Phoebus!” I shockingly said, pushing Amor back.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qxo0WewhB
Phoebus was there. Looking at me. He was far but I could see the pain in his eyes. I stepped towards him but Amor stopped me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjncbPctZD
“What are you doing?” he asked.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BD3R3VzWM
“Amor, I saw Phoebus. He’s here.” I said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63TEQ9O59a
“Yes, he is my brother. He has to be here.” He said.
“He’s your brother? Is this a joke?” I frowned.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0XqYsTv09
“You are saying as if it’s a big deal.” He said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggkKDVOq7N
“Amor, do you understand what you are saying right now? He is your brother and you didn’t tell me about this earlier. Why?” I shouted.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDFpiXUot6
Everyone was looking at us.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPn9Xjg4pBd
“What are you doing Daphne? Everyone is looking at us.” he said, coming near me.
I pushed him back.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMudl5a0JwO
“I don’t care.” I said and ran from that hall, following Phoebus.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVFMUphrWa
The pain I saw in his eyes was not explainable. He might be sad because I didn’t tell him about me coming with Amor or maybe because I didn’t reply to him about his dance proposal but went with Amor instead. I don’t know but all I know was I had hurt him. I ran in the heels just to find him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp56wNRb8KS
Sequence of questions kept running in my mind.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8EJMx9gBB
How can Phoebus be the brother of Amor? They are related this close yet no one let others know about it, why?424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGytaZRRvF
He was sitting, facing down near the footpath, in the dark just like he did in the park the other day. He was hurt about something then too.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbI9YYQhM0D
I went near him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtqsFvMKvH
“Phoebus, I am sorry. I know I have hurt you. I didn't know he was your brother. Sorry.” I hugged him as he started sobbing.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANVNGyBVBc
The man who always made me smile in any form was crying because of me that day.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNrR5k843h
“I am sorry.” I cupped his face, wiping his tears.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZykTZY5cbR
“Why him?” He asked and I had no answer to that question.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHF6I4Rb9k
“His name is not even Amor.” He said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6ngpUinfz
I asked his real name.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD66nYcKWB
He said, “Ares. His name is Ares. He had to run far from home because he was involved in drug peddling. He ran to Spain and years after he found out that I shifted here so even he came back to the country. All I wanted was to start a simple peaceful life but I can’t just because of him Daphne.”424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRSCDhymNJ
Ares? The boy who made my sister’s life miserable? The man due to whom we had to leave our home?424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyUwBEtOQk
“But you said you were from Delaware, right? You are from there then- then how…how?” I held both of his shoulders, showering the questions altogether at him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPLT6equUz
“Yes, we are from Delaware. Our father worked in New Jersey, we lived there. After my parents’ death, I found Ares was involved in drug peddling. I complained about it to the police. He and others involved in it were arrested. I heard Ares ran to Spain after some days. I lived in Delaware with my grandfather until he died a few months back. I wanted to start a new life so I came here but he came back in my life, bringing all the terrors I had in the past. Since then he has wanted to hurt me.” he cried holding me tight.
Phoebus is the brother of someone who has messed up with my sister’s life, my family’s life.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRArvVR7UTL
He continued, “Don’t you understand all he did was just to hurt me. He is using you.”424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsNs02r0QD
I was blanked. Whatever he was saying was incomprehensible to me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HJ4nljIfq
“Why me?” I asked him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoScFwSR4U
“Because I love you. I love you.” He said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36Q1039QUd
Everything stopped for me at that moment. I didn’t know the way to process the thing I have been waiting to hear for months. He loves me?424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VTBIOvtvM
“What the hell Phoebus? You are the boyfriend of my best friend. Did you get that? Stop saying such things.” I pushed him back.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtbA2d6Kra
“Daphne, listen to me. I fell in love with you at first sight.” He said.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24x6vcxRel
“Stop it, I said. You are Bella’s boyfriend.” I kept walking back.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruArviPQ1Y
He said, "I could have but I found you...you, Daphne" my name from his mouth felt as soft as Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are.
Bunch of personalities inside my head except the one I showed on my face screamed buss! I kept looking at his lips while he kept saying something until I felt warmth on my face. He was close, so so close. One could cross the ocean and travel through the forest through his eyes or could be stuck there forever if they wanted to. And I want to. Fuck! He's driving me crazy. I... I can't do this with Bella.
I pushed him back but my foot twisted and I was about to fall. I felt a force against gravity and I was surrounded with warmth, his arms. He squeezed me into his arms as if he was scared of me getting hurt.
“I can’t promise to never hurt you but I can’t let others hurt you too. I know the reason behind your denial. We’ll get out of this situation. We will. Once you know the truth.” I could feel his hot breath as he whispered into my ear.
Wait. We? Truth? What is the truth?
I looked into his eyes with a question, was he going to ditch on my friend with me? Oh god, no he can’t!
I pushed him back and ran without saying a word.
More than us, us? me and him, I was scared of losing Bella. She is my childhood friend with same ambition and more than our family gathering gossips, I am used to her stupid unstoppable talks.
424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt905TbcBIu
Dear Diary,424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLT2L290lhs
I hope you don’t but,424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTohhffGmRP
do you feel whatever I am doing is wrong?
