I think I have been suffering from insomnia since the day I got to know about Phoebus being Bella’s boyfriend. It was indeed a difficult night to spend alone thinking about both the men who have asked me out but still I felt it would be better to go with Amor than to go with Phoebus since I am almost at the end of my way to get over him. That would be good for all of us, me, Bella and Phoebus. If they continue their relationship for a longer time and ever have plans to have a baby, i will definitely be a good aunt who regrets stepping back but anything for Bella. She is the most important person in my life.
I will always choose Bella before any boy, even if it is Phoebus himself.
Amor seems to be a learned dancer which I am definitely not. What if he rejects me after knowing that? How will I tell him?213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjrEEzBhD4
I stood in front of the mirror and made myself understand that he has not asked me to dance with him yet in the language that I know. He should not know that I was that curious about knowing what he said to me last time. I might keep a copy with me and write all the words he says in Spanish, obviously the spellings won't be correct since I never paid attention in the class when they used to teach us Spanish in high school. I realised that if I ever paid attention in that class, I would be communicating to Amor in Spanish only.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezmEgo2Oss
I went to college, seeing Amor standing outside the college, looking again and again at his watch. I think he was waiting for someone. I tried acting like I didn't see him but he stopped me.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3CZ59wMAz
“You remember you wanted to do something as an apology for your behaviour that other day?”
I wish I could say no but my expression changed as if he could understand that I was lying.
“Yes, sir.” I said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxPjOAQBUg
“No sir. I have told you a lot of times. At least not outside the college.” He said and I nodded.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkoRbpEKtP
“I said something in Spanish and I think you did not understand.”213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94ywwMEVlg
I wish I could tell him that I already knew.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxUQTd9bVM
“It means dance with me. So, daphne I don't know why I am feeling weird but let me put it straight. Will you dance with me?” He continued after a pause, “You do not have the pressure of accepting my proposal. I will be waiting. It's just a small family function where I need you to act like my girlfriend and dance with me. Just for a few hours. Think about it.” He left after saying that.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnlqVSwFVX
He left me in deep thought. It's not just a dance but also to act like his girlfriend in front of his family. I really don't know how to dance. What if I made a bad impression on them?213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WLGS6S56z
I really needed time to think. I sorted things a few minutes ago and again it came back to the time when I started thinking about whom to choose.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7Jp3MAVGk
All day I kept thinking about it. I do not remember anything that happened in the class or with me after entering college.
I went to Amor.
“I will come with you.” I said. I can do anything.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45OBVbnaIs
His face brightened.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUVXnDqcPn
“Thank you, Daphne. It means a lot to me. The party is this weekend.” He said with a wide smile.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7g7gZYmBEt
I nodded once and went back towards my home.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHiHNgqaoU
I did accept his proposal but I need to ask for permission from my parents too. What will I tell them?213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mj6dVdotI
I kept practising the things I needed to tell my parents.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOU9GI8qvZ
“I need to act like a girlfriend of my professor just for an event.” I murmured.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHMpKj7vYm
No, this does not sound good. I need something that will make them accept it instantly. Maybe I can use Phoebus. My mother likes him but what if he comes to my home. I can't even tell him about the dance thing, he might feel bad. I can go to dance with him too someday. It's just an act. I can tell them that I have a party for a successful project in college or a birthday party for one of my friends, Bella doesn’t know.
At dinner time, I cleared my throat before speaking and gulped.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqG1ukiWrGK
“Hi, my dear family.” I said with a smile.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPy0J2U4m2
“Hi baby.” said my parents.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJS6fYqaYLQ
“What do you need?” Arena said. I looked at her with anger.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LnuCZfOpm
“Obviously, you never speak this politely until you need something. Speak out.” She said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3rmwKI6Ym
“Arena, why do you think like that? Sometimes it's good to greet family unlike you.” My mother said.
I felt sad for my mother thinking like that, well she was right though.
“It is, I know but I know her too.” Arena said instantly.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigBcS4RBT1
“You think you know me but this time you are wrong so just shut up.” I said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAyVEicOXr
“Why do you all need to fight at the time of dining? Eat your food.” Father said, half mouth filled with food.
He doesn't like to talk while eating.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvm0xozDho
I could not directly ask for permission just because of Arena.
As we were about to end our dinner, I tried to ask them.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtHZPasolJ
“I had to ask something.”213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQIY2ImdMQ
“See i knew it. I told you.” Arena popped.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMJJriQcQd
“Shut up!” I continued, “There is a birthday party for a successful project of one of my friends. ”213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzYM0GguyM
“What?” Mother asked.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXdQ4x0bac
I realised I mixed up things.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOtKdpEo7b
“I mean, I need to go to a birthday party of one of my friends this weekend. I needed your permission.” I said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DliatvGJk
“Sure you can go.” my father said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJ1Ov3mwFP
“Is Bella going there too?” Mom asked.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlg8IXKDwhZ
“No. Actually you know her. She is socially weird so that girl doesn’t like her thus she won't be there and also don't tell her about it. She doesn't know. She might feel bad.” I said in one flow.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeT6GTCyXfF
Everyone was satisfied with my reason.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicEwS9mkLV
“What about Phoebus? He is going to be there, right?” Mom asked.
“I..uh- I don’t know about his bonding with her. Maybe or maybe not.” I said in a bit of shock because I was not ready for that question.
He should not be there, obviously he won’t be there, it's a family gathering.
I took all my shimmer dresses out, there was none left in the cupboard. Shimmer dresses made me look highlighted but I do not need to be in the spotlight. It's just an act so I should not wear something like that.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYJOjAmGW0
My mother entered, seeing all the mess on the bed.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPSTWxBEzc
“Can’t find something to wear?” She asked.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNks51ozlM
“Uh..no. I neither want to wear something that will make people stare at me nor something very dull. It's a small gathering but with high profile people.” I told her, sitting tired on the bed.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkDMxBscty
“It’s fine, dear. We have bought enough clothes for you that you haven’t worn in years. Use them. I am not going to throw them out unless you use them and they rot.” she said with her arms crossed.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXMg2rZjRe
I know she was not sarcastic. I do not wear most of my clothes because I do not go to parties like others but i can't fight with her due to this.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xfxM0mhri
“Yes, mom. I am checking them out. What do you think about this black dress?” I asked, standing in front of the mirror. I loved that dress.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TL2uUznVC
“I would definitely like to sell your black dresses. Don’t you have any other?”213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYn9rhkrts
Yes mom, I do. I do not understand her sometimes, it's irritating.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqX1YkPy2v
I took out my dark blue net gown. This was the most simple and beautiful dress I ever had. The sleeves falling from the shoulder, simply designed with blue threads. I love it!
“You can. You have never worn this. Wear it.” She said and left.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfCyTBfDF9
Who will let her know that the gown was bought by her for the wedding of my uncle a few years back which never took place and then I never got to wear it because we never went to such kind of parties.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrfRk9q1Oo
Oh dear mother of mine!213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvIwOFp0XQ
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvarpskm6p
I was as nervous about the party as I was happy for the weekend. The day had come. I really acted weird that day. My parents were amazed too. They said it was just a birthday party, not my wedding. Who will tell them the truth?
I got ready and planned to meet Amor behind the school. It definitely looked weird that I was walking in a gown that evening. I somehow increased my speed and reached the place he was waiting. For me. No one does.
He was wearing a white suit and the same shade of shirt as my gown, ironic.
“Hermosa!” he said without blinking for a few minutes, looking at me. Again a different language and I guess he has said that before too.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1EW7n8qGB
“Huh? I am sorry but, frankly, you need to understand the language you say, I do not understand at all. I am from America and you may be from Spain like you speak Spanish most of the time.” I said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4ZH7PXExe
“You want to know what I said?” He asked, bending a little towards me.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhQi7t8P8h
“Yes. I want to.” I said looking at him.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTiSeTF4uS
“I said that you look beautiful, a lot. Today.” He said, looking at me, still bending towards me.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGivCgpMB8J
I gawked a while and in a slow voice asked about him saying the same word the day he went to buy formals for me. He nodded. I blinked and stepped back.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BtlXI8L60
“Do I have to know something about your family too? You can teach me something in Spanish, that might help.” I said, clearing my throat.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7Ulxy64CY
“Well I can teach you Spanish a bit in the remaining minutes but my family knows English well. Let's get in the car first.” he opened the car door for me and I sat. I took a deep breath before he could enter the car.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGioMDNoeg
He taught me a few basic words in Spanish. I hope I can say them clearly when the time comes. We reached the place. It was huge and amazing, I never thought to visit such a place in my life. He was definitely rich.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIspu5BbpB
“You didn’t tell me about your family. I should know about your family. They might doubt me if I don't.” I said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdvJRDebmH
“Sure. I’ll tell you.” He said, getting out of the car.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1TA2liArv
Strange.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgUZvlNN03
He opened the door for me and held my hand unlike the last time when I refused to take his help getting out of the car.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFyAKeC31v
“I lost my parents years ago. I went to Spain. I came back when my grandfather died, a few months back. I shifted here and joined the college as a professor.” he said while we entered the huge marvellous hall.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClNF8UbzaX
“I am sorry that I mentioned your family.” I said with an apologetic look.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeop5mZIvms
“It’s totally fine. You should know.” he said with a smile.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36VkP9a83Z
He introduced me to a few of his family members and I greeted them in Spanish but they replied to me in English. I could not believe myself. They looked at me as if they didn’t know the language I spoke, maybe I said it wrong.
I was really enjoying the party. It was an amazing change for once in a while. He stood beside me the whole party.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjc4OpxjMc0
One of his aunts came and asked, “Where is he?”213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7GEneZ4gn
“Who?” He asked.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pyUEkYduz
“Your brother, idiot. Did you forget about him?” She said fiercely.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeUYTG0BuS
“Oh, how would I know? You know us very well.”213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqQceJURj8
“I don't know what to do about you both. Why are you boring her by standing? Go dance. The floor is yours. Enjoy!” She said rubbing my back.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtF5174poZ4
He stood in front of me and asked me to dance with him in Spanish. This time even if I didn’t know the meaning, I could understand the actions.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBpzc1b6t9
“Amor. I had to tell you something.” I hesitated.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡur8wgvVPuJ
“What?” he asked, concerned.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstJhGForQS
“I don’t know how to dance. I am sorry for not telling you about it earlier.” I said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjsLogq0fV
He laughed and grabbed my hand with both of his palms and said, “Just follow me. Everything will be fine.”213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HviDm00ZI
We went to the dance floor. He told me to lose myself as much as possible. He made me feel comfortable and I was dancing like a pro. He was right. Again!213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp89Nr3x7w8
“You have a brother?” I asked him while dancing with his hands on my waist and mine on his shoulders.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oVIte7Jah
“Yes. A younger brother.”213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQSjiyyfSM
“That’s nice. He stays with you?”213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSF61CRaTd
“Yeah but we are not on good terms. He doesn’t like me and that goes both ways. We are used to it. I do not interfere with his life and he does the same.” He said, looking away.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnmjff94FQ
I nodded slightly and continued to dance.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBBJkbnHY3
We were really enjoying the dance until I saw him.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrY9j78gOig
“Phoebus!” I shockingly said, pushing Amor back.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDiVx6pOM8
Phoebus was there. Looking at me. He was far but I could see the pain in his eyes. I stepped towards him but Amor stopped me.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKX1Ohvehm
“What are you doing?” he asked.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ygLtu5ow8
“Amor, I saw Phoebus. He’s here.” I said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKYZYun0q5
“Yes, he is my brother. He has to be here.” He said.
“He’s your brother? Is this a joke?” I frowned.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62fDDjqZlM
“You are saying as if it’s a big deal.” He said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡit6mNQ2asq
“Amor, do you understand what you are saying right now? He is your brother and you didn’t tell me about this earlier. Why?” I shouted.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBezYh36PKO
Everyone was looking at us.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQmOgqvQ1h
“What are you doing Daphne? Everyone is looking at us.” he said, coming near me.
I pushed him back.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VHCBBZkdh
“I don’t care.” I said and ran from that hall, following Phoebus.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kiUYGQgFY
The pain I saw in his eyes was not explainable. He might be sad because I didn’t tell him about me coming with Amor or maybe because I didn’t reply to him about his dance proposal but went with Amor instead. I don’t know but all I know was I had hurt him. I ran in the heels just to find him.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuI3LmImrlo
Sequence of questions kept running in my mind.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAu7E2Yle6i
How can Phoebus be the brother of Amor? They are related this close yet no one let others know about it, why?213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSYfYw0nN2
He was sitting, facing down near the footpath, in the dark just like he did in the park the other day. He was hurt about something then too.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDcAJwXGVZ
I went near him.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SLHmSxwWb
“Phoebus, I am sorry. I know I have hurt you. I didn't know he was your brother. Sorry.” I hugged him as he started sobbing.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8T2b3YqMC
The man who always made me smile in any form was crying because of me that day.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8faEpbPiv
“I am sorry.” I cupped his face, wiping his tears.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogUZTT62BW
“Why him?” He asked and I had no answer to that question.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Er17TVcEY
“His name is not even Amor.” He said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡno6VZymmAB
I asked his real name.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyHENyAScR
He said, “Ares. His name is Ares. He had to run far from home because he was involved in drug peddling. He ran to Spain and years after he found out that I shifted here so even he came back to the country. All I wanted was to start a simple peaceful life but I can’t just because of him Daphne.”213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLP1T897VAm
Ares? The boy who made my sister’s life miserable? The man due to whom we had to leave our home?213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXX4EwVOdm
“But you said you were from Delaware, right? You are from there then- then how…how?” I held both of his shoulders, showering the questions altogether at him.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcBmktvQiY
“Yes, we are from Delaware. Our father worked in New Jersey, we lived there. After my parents’ death, I found Ares was involved in drug peddling. I complained about it to the police. He and others involved in it were arrested. I heard Ares ran to Spain after some days. I lived in Delaware with my grandfather until he died a few months back. I wanted to start a new life so I came here but he came back in my life, bringing all the terrors I had in the past. Since then he has wanted to hurt me.” he cried holding me tight.
Phoebus is the brother of someone who has messed up with my sister’s life, my family’s life.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuHT3MaheO
He continued, “Don’t you understand all he did was just to hurt me. He is using you.”213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkf7dnoBX35
I was blanked. Whatever he was saying was incomprehensible to me.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjB6plXyzT
“Why me?” I asked him.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQKTAagBbZ
“Because I love you. I love you.” He said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqJhQgYAFI
Everything stopped for me at that moment. I didn’t know the way to process the thing I have been waiting to hear for months. He loves me?213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgoDcFI6E8
“What the hell Phoebus? You are the boyfriend of my best friend. Did you get that? Stop saying such things.” I pushed him back.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKOAQKmACu
“Daphne, listen to me. I fell in love with you at first sight.” He said.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJUF23NJiw
“Stop it, I said. You are Bella’s boyfriend.” I kept walking back.213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5pVmdmLX1
He said, "I could have but I found you...you, Daphne" my name from his mouth felt as soft as Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are.
Bunch of personalities inside my head except the one I showed on my face screamed buss! I kept looking at his lips while he kept saying something until I felt warmth on my face. He was close, so so close. One could cross the ocean and travel through the forest through his eyes or could be stuck there forever if they wanted to. And I want to. Fuck! He's driving me crazy. I... I can't do this with Bella.
I pushed him back but my foot twisted and I was about to fall. I felt a force against gravity and I was surrounded with warmth, his arms. He squeezed me into his arms as if he was scared of me getting hurt.
“I can’t promise to never hurt you but I can’t let others hurt you too. I know the reason behind your denial. We’ll get out of this situation. We will. Once you know the truth.” I could feel his hot breath as he whispered into my ear.
Wait. We? Truth? What is the truth?
I looked into his eyes with a question, was he going to ditch on my friend with me? Oh god, no he can’t!
I pushed him back and ran without saying a word.
More than us, us? me and him, I was scared of losing Bella. She is my childhood friend with same ambition and more than our family gathering gossips, I am used to her stupid unstoppable talks.
213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCDdoGv7rp
Dear Diary,213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3iYac3uii
I hope you don’t but,213Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZqugWLyD9
do you feel whatever I am doing is wrong?
