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INT. TATE MODERN, ST IVES - AFTERNOON
Stable shopkeeper DR GREGORY BUTTERSCOTCH is arguing with sweet housekeeper MASTER HARRY CHAN. GREGORY tries to hug HARRY but he shakes him off.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BvC0QBJsp
Please Harry, don't leave me.
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HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKenpM8qk2
I'm sorry Gregory, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKBsgp5KVw
I am such a person!
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HARRY frowns.
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HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiQHv5ykE1
I'm sorry, Gregory. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
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HARRY leaves.
GREGORY sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, hopeful doctor MRS CHANTAL MALKOVICH barges in looking flustered.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0sts8A4Rm
Goodness, Chantal! Is everything okay?
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7MLe1oTr3
I'm afraid not.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsKxsmr9tw
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULMbzkTBLz
It's ... an alien ... I saw an evil alien exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8y4rQVBPPt
Defenseless swimmers?
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2PPw0TW8y
Yes, defenseless swimmers!
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5DdHv9DkG
Bloomin' heck, Chantal! We've got to do something.
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwx5FJ9zBhC
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUMwQVwZMD
You can start by telling me where this happened.
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5UrX2ze85
I was...
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CHANTAL fans herself and begins to wheeze.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzGJ4kN5NH
Focus Chantal, focus! Where did it happen?
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gtEMniPPO
National History Museum, London! That's right - National History Museum, London!
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GREGORY springs up and begins to run.
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EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
GREGORY rushes along the street, followed by CHANTAL. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - SHORTLY AFTER
SHARON PIGEON a spiteful alien terrorises two swimmers.
GREGORY, closely followed by CHANTAL, rushes towards SHARON, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhq2WehXJ9l
What is is? What's the matter?
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JTfaqs48i
That's not just any old alien, that's Sharon Pigeon!
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjxhvJ39HC
Who's Sharon Pigeon?
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdof3mcBdmI
Who's Sharon Pigeon? Who's Sharon Pigeon? Only the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ889T1AZSXU
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyLsWzQJO5
You can say that again.
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡby2LYqZFAg
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ251Xy2C7S9
I'm going to need ropes, lots of ropes.
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Sharon turns and sees Gregory and Chantal. She grins an evil grin.
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SHARON231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BKnwqVicV
Gregory Butterscotch, we meet again.
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hBoHRDMt8
You've met?
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIWln45sT7
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
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EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young GREGORY is sitting in a park listening to some drum and bass music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees SHARON. He takes off his headphones.
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SHARON231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwR4L8BQjlI
Would you like some chocolate?
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GREGORY's eyes light up, but then he studies SHARON more closely, and looks uneasy.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkz8yhO80r
I don't know, you look kind of spiteful.
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SHARON231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59J2QfowAA
Me? No. I'm not spiteful. I'm the least spiteful alien in the world.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIhTHzZ1G0
Wait, you're a alien?
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GREGORY runs away, screaming.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - PRESENT DAY
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SHARON231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkM5Vh6DZyq
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmt5gdtfVA
(To GREGORY) You ran away?
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tzShQWuHr
(To CHANTAL) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
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GREGORY turns to SHARON.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUaAWKn5Jd
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
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GREGORY runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bN3qBGiCa
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with ropes.
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SHARON231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngGYgjBZQA
I'm not scared of you.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Hj0hWN3hU
You should be.
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EXT. A LIBRARY - LATER THAT DAY
GREGORY and CHANTAL walk around searching for something.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJKBwNshZ0
I feel sure I left my ropes somewhere around here.
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvM13Bbbxjl
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly ropes.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9e2uk1THYx
You know nothing Chantal Malkovich.
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9m3DDAk3wz
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
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Suddenly, SHARON appears, holding a pair of ropes.
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SHARON231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmad33y8EA
Looking for something?
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLO4iDDJ9BH
Crikey, Gregory, she's got your ropes.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnIPvQmIU5
Tell me something I don't already know!
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4sYuDK3KS
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8d89lquydp
I know that already!
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1Vy0JF3wE
I pick my nose and eat it.
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SHARON231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMBdcOCGwE
(appalled) Dude!
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While SHARON is looking at CHANTAL with disgust, GREGORY lunges forward and grabs his deadly ropes. He wields them, triumphantly.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VvqSpnmIc
Prepare to die, you spiteful cauliflower!
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SHARON231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nlVwLUJsi
No please! All I did was exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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HARRY enters, unseen by any of the others.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnCokg6oLb
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those swimmers were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Gregory Butterscotch defender of innocent swimmers.
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SHARON231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYaUEa5jrO
Don't hurt me! Please!
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4omduMUB5L
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these ropes on you right away!
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SHARON231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiaSd0ZRSX
Because Gregory, I am your mother.
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GREGORY looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzF6dR2ovFi
No you're not!
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SHARON231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79DNGhvvlq
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
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SHARON tries to grab the ropes but GREGORY dodges out of the way.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxtzTfvChS
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?
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Unexpectedly, SHARON slumps to the ground.
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0YZLjuuIc
Did she just faint?
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbhlCSIhkt
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly ropes.
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GREGORY crouches over SHARON's body.
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3JSKWA3kv
Be careful, Gregory. It could be a trick.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTe6u0TnbMP
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Sharon Pigeon is dead!
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSKD01jFTp
What?
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HylRM2lUP
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.
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CHANTAL claps her hands.
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0slG2HxAui
So your ropes did save the day, after all.
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HARRY steps forward.
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HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNRlPlXBvE
Is it true? Did you kill the spiteful alien?
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDKTUHIhHy
Harry how long have you been...?
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HARRY puts his arm around GREGORY.
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HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUrrofp55J
Long enough.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssSJpMcZj4
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Sharon Pigeon.
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HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzJ2BmEclV
Then the swimmers are safe?
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBZfdxSf0U
It does seem that way!
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A crowd of vulnerable swimmers enter, looking relived.
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HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18zRUtAeCb
You are their hero.
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The swimmers bow to GREGORY.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOzMxcp7hA
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Sharon Pigeon will never exterminate swimmers ever again, is enough for me.
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HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8RcmiVREQ
You are humble as well as brave!
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One of the swimmers passes GREGORY a magic ring
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HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLV5PEezk6
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1nVkISZRr
I couldn't possibly.
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Pause.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HqbN4wcFD
Well, if you insist.
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQ8fWWYKO9
GREGORY takes the ring.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPalacelgD
Thank you.
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The swimmers bow their heads once more, and leave.
GREGORY turns to HARRY.
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaaogXHY1G
GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Rd9N7xvUt
Does this mean you want me back?
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwhysYeQyc
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ450h9B9W0I
HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsG7BcFfak
Oh, Gregory, of course I want you back!
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3Wo0ctZYn
GREGORY smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
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GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCFCT2ZVld
Well you can't have me.
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0V4XGbN8D
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQLLAjRFyW
HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6igRyH1pU
WHAT?
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNhRgD7TOx
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ojtsgPBiE
GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCyMgI3afA
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a alien to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKUXVmrU6c
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZruBvRpW5q
HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKezZDB5vcO
But...
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyZj56sYYu
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcHNVcka1l
GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXjjlYuAQ7
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Chantal.
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZ73yetjP6
CHANTAL grins.
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HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiIQXdCDIK
But...
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1nzI6bJ2g
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVEknrM0gn
CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAR4sTPRkT
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdnf5tZgK2
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HARRY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucPgbEAmkZ
Gregory?
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjP0GaTMSf
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQlHAYxBhu
GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PsPWkFehO
I'm sorry Harry, but I think you should skidaddle.
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAY2FUGZFH
HARRY leaves.
CHANTAL turns to GREGORY.
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo235PjKDGm
CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPvAUTpGZN
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6AUjProta
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5JgPwwEtK
GREGORY231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonLl8AptFz
Of course you are!
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKkCUtQTWP
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly CHANTAL stops.
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CHANTAL231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZK0oedLPI
When I said I pick my nose and eat it, you know I was just trying to distract the alien don't you?
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe23i4Wg2t5
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRck2pvHpg
THE END
ns216.73.216.176da2
