32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaS6tna3mW
Anderson sat in a chair in a dark, deep room, his mind32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNa5TH8zl6
repeating, "What did I say?" His father lay there, mouth open, hands32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPejx0ZCyb
icy cold. He stared at him as if he were bound to a chair with the tag32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRGbQaehND
"grief," pierced by the blade of regret. His heart pounded in his32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6TGfFNRkM
chest.
Oh no. I'm fatherless.
He knew that God was his Father, but that fact did not32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglcENdaGyd
comfort him.
"If God is so loving, why did He allow me to see my32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvOtGhxgGo
father die?" he grumbled. "Well. there goes my dad."
His father had been more than a parent; he had been his32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5vZj9CCkn
teacher and mentor. Now, all of that was lost. He felt broken, unable to32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMtpqHmSsc
envision a future.
He yelled to God, his voice trembling with pain. "Why32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcQYkrscNo
did You leave me? I hate You—I don't love You. Why didn't You save him? God,32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLZZlTAxhH
I'm trapped in Your silence. Please, speak to me! Are You even there? God.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCNEfys1Az
hello? Come on! Where are You?"
He needed to run. He needed to disappear. The weight of32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1ES5AXPmh
grief was overwhelming.
"You are so mighty. but I do not believe in You."
Let me die. Just let me go.
Tears blurred his vision as he clenched his fists.32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0vpaSx6ly
"God, are You even hearing me? Come on!"
He felt like he'd been hit by a two-million-ton truck—like32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsh1yVRvqD
a three-trillion-ton building had crashed down on him, annihilating his soul32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyE9tLbYr3
and leaving him with nothing.
The hurting hurt. The anger frightened him. He was afraid32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8PUgCN0FL
to speak it because he believed that to do so would dishonor his father's name,32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jplZJJRjh
but at the same time, he could not ignore it.
When they carted off his dad, he remembered his dad telling32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78VnuUjpQ8
him: "This is not your fault."
His dad no longer reassured him. But. he could still sense32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2ZLBU4Q2S
something—a presence.
Was it his father? Or was it God? And if it was God, why32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCW42OVyHO
had He stayed? Why would He still love him after all he had just said?
He recalled God telling him that everything would be okay,
he was not sure if32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qQ032KokR
God was real.
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ns216.73.216.176da2
