At the same time she was disgusted by the thought, Officer Lauren Gilbert almost couldn't wait to get started with making Stone believe she liked her. Not just to see what hidden information it might glean, but to read about it in her “private” journal. The journal was anything but private, of course. It had a combination lock in which they told her to pick a code and not share it or write it down, and pointed out that the book had no lock that could be picked. The thing was, there was a master combination Janelle didn't know about that could be used to law enforcement's advantage when she was out of her room for testing or therapy.
“Good evening, Miss Stone. How are you doing?”
Gilbert had been switched to second shift, figuring this would give her and Stone more time to develop their “relationship.”
“So you're gonna sit and stare at me at night instead of in the morning?”
“Oh yeah, that. I've been meaning to explain that to you,” said Gilbert.
Janelle looked at her quizzically.
“I have a confession to make.”
“What's that?” Janelle said with obvious curiosity and a little bit of apprehension.
“Well, you've got to promise to keep this between you and me, Janelle.”
Stone’s eyebrows raised with surprise at the use of her first name.
“I mean, seriously—it’s got to be kept between us.”
“No problem. What is it?”
“It shocks me to say this because it's so unexpected—but we just don't get to pick and choose who we come to care for, do we?”
Janelle stared at the woman dumbly for a moment, not comprehending exactly what she was implying. But then suddenly, a light began to glow in the idiot’s mind. “Wait, are you saying you like me?”
The lawwoman forced a smile. “That's why it's hard to keep my gaze off of you. You just fascinate and amaze me in every sense of the word. To have survived all you've gone through, and knowing that you've been legally screwed—and I can't say anything because I'm in law enforcement, and as you've been known to say before, cops stick up for other cops—so I can't exactly speak up on your behalf as much as I want to.”
Stone's dark, creepy eyes studied the woman’s gaze for honesty. Her gaze was full of surprise and doubt rolled into one. “I don't understand. This is flattering news, but how can you like me all of a sudden? I mean, I hate to say it, but you haven't always been very kind to me.”
“I know, I know,” Gilbert said, feigning an apologetic tone. “I haven't handled my feelings well at all—because, again, it's hard when you're stuck in this tug-of-war where you like somebody and you're on their side, yet you know you're not supposed to be. I can't help how I feel, though.”
Janelle began to crack the first faint hint of a smile. It never ceased to amaze her what a gullible idiot she truly was. They weren't kidding when they said she'd believe just about anything she was told. Especially if it sounded good.
“Oh my god, are you serious?” Janelle asked, voice growing louder, smile growing wider.
Gilbert placed a finger over her lips conspiratorially. “You've absolutely got to keep this between us at all times.”
“No problem. But how could anyone like someone who looks like me? People like to preach acceptance and claim appearance doesn't matter, but it does in that they judge people all the time. Especially one who looks so fat, old, and ugly like I do, so what's the catch?”
Right or wrong, the suspected serial killer at least had that much correct. Humans did live in an aesthetically judgmental society.
“It isn't about how you look. It's about who you are. You’re a toughie and a survivor. You've been lied to, you've been nearly killed, you've been deceived, and you've been through so much hell.”
Janelle's smile kept growing, indicating that she liked what she was hearing. “Wow!” she squealed with naivety and a silly laugh. Gilbert almost felt like she was telling a small child they were going to Disneyland.
“Are you okay with this?” Gilbert asked.
Still giddy with surprise and excitement, Stone said, “Well, yeah. I mean, like you said, we can't help who we care for.” After a moment of silence, as Janelle's tiny mind digested the ruse, she said, “So this is why you're always staring at me?”
Gilbert raised an eyebrow as if to suggest it may be the reason.
“So you're saying it was because you like me and not because you were trying to make me uncomfortable or had any grudge against me, and it wasn’t revenge for Boris?”
“I don't even know Boris,” Gilbert said, although it was true that her “smothering” and staring had everything to do with Boris. It was to remind the lunatic just who was in charge.
“Oh my god,” was all Janelle could mutter in a dreamy voice. “I had no idea. I never would have guessed this was the case.”
“Hey, I may not be very pretty myself, but…”
“You're doing a lot better than I am.”
Gilbert agreed, as more thoughts appeared to churn through Janelle's mind.
“But nothing could happen.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, we could never be together.”
“Oh, you never know what the future holds,” Gilbert said. “But I'd like to know that I could earn your trust by confiding in you in ways I never have confided in anyone else. I just figured that if anybody understood me, it would be you.”
Janelle looked confused.
“Just like you, I've been accused of doing things I haven't done, even though it never came down to court. It's only my badge and uniform that have kept me from being arrested. But I've been suspected of things. Some of the accusations are off, some are partially off, and then there are things people don't know about at all.”
“I don't understand. What does this have to do with your liking me?”
Gilbert scrambled for words. The idiot didn’t get it, but she didn't want to appear too obvious either. “I just mean, I get you. I know what it's like to be on the wrong side of the law and accused of things I either didn't do at all or that I did do—and I don't want to get caught for—because hey, we can't fight our natural instinct for self-preservation, can we?”
Janelle's expression now took on a mixture of confusion and skepticism. “No, I guess not,” she finally said. “What is it you want to confide in me about?”
“One step at a time,” said Gilbert, not wanting to push it. “Let's get to know each other a bit first and develop a little trust in each other now that I've been upfront and open with you.”
Stone cracked a smile. “Oh wow, I can't believe this.”
Yes, you can, thought Gilbert, because you're a stupid idiot.
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