你好，我是莊坌但。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97mTXco3Gs
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNb9EmJaJla
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2eTSosrva
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7XoqRt0bU
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbemt91MxqS
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdyRb60Ziv
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlmH5aGHns
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlV5MgFUGoe
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOmnYxuh5N
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7D09XONGBt
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDA4S7TSPy
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58C4iRPif0
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUi7CvQRgEq
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhykScpCF3
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyvmjTIDFr
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccEoX0oI6v
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSxPffHN6i
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxo7ZB5I3A
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSv3wEiylTY
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzO97FsIOl
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmS7c5yBVFF
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EBElexDlA
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WwLtkIhan
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1igbkMTK0o
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlr5TOR1PXO
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcFp5CTvas
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHvfD4TWlu
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObgGRD7sKp
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ225ZGScfh0
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfff23mCkTW
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBAj0CP2FZ
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Lbl6FjJzE
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnTPMoWA3B
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oOvjnkM4v
「你好，我是……」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2mdBx441D
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQonUJfh2j
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAHlQh0iQT
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYv7yZjVpo3
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOTCAjMHeL
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZmYHHRA2c
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2M1PneQeo
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOSkSkrx5f
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQm8dev9aO
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPqaBJreVj
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgewE8Avie3
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7BgP7GExJ
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQmFubOjwe
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNywrTFWKb3
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYiP9jpVgk
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvUY4Xdgzn
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwfGEusBIg
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3xTyRB7ZH
不好啊非常的不好啊！481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxP4b0toQa8
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgfnuW8zBL
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFg2vRxGUP4
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ470wAE5nqG
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrOWbJc1CR
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AMJRLuIbG
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelK1w4tTnN
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVuzNKih0X
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNwOzPsCnh
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWH0I2fGJM
出了社會，總是得找份工作。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Lm5wWtDJA
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb78S2XV7CO
我自己買了台50CC通勤。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiHxcB2TfC
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNkkKZTOHz
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4TzF0TDkp
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvU3NzYnfc
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77TvgvzbPU
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1F6AEnqtB7
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1R3xvaTTy
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJfjowPTyz
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGXfEreQFb
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EsIyrAo6R
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDyXtWH4aZ
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIY573XBUX
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiystprsok
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTY3YulPAn
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9DXQETIN7
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1UZfOVxCO
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmX4Hep2KQ
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNSC6o8Nll
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4akbiEd7n
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZYU49V2iY
它熄火，我傻眼。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7jG2qFcd1
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDvM2cj5bP
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJa1Jjy9WL
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFY3U59NhGd
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5Hkp7LjCh
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡET1qHhK3Nw
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGdy5Ytzp9
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuFguEzonL
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVOEO13Sdk
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3rOHV8S91
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rAXPg4gGl
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HvbJDZRuW
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlKzg7nBdO
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfN3O91a5RH
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTD8xZXdmGQ
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPchCOBZfU
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobN5wqk5A3
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