你好，我是莊坌但。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepLl0vbjrz
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxZP75v8tv
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzDRLCTEzu
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5rryRlVfr
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV3WRo7HXc
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPx9p9G5fg1
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7vaZU2EUL
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVsXEnftDX
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8nixRiSEN
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3DAHmAl36
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AYSEIwrU3
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHaVJTC7tb
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDARC4iA1Cq
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMhSOJoKuF
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3VOxFWieP
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHFNqpbHbE
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpZrPd3vtk
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqlLRlaZyY
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2WX2kZ32p
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mS6wXMkQw
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuRYUL3ubM
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsq3Qxhycw
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIAdNsrigw
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CTEyCATIV
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xfUJnexiv
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3APF3BR79
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrYtX2y3tR
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyts6KymzVQ
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjXwth7D2l
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zi3OFyo2S
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3m2wAwDJKE
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGbM7mgOgB
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuSckfE0ro
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyPF0kHZuI
「你好，我是……」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3El3ND3rR
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3jhE8VvBZ
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLPU5HYlsp
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoz6P98Tse
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnWpp8H8ic
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUal1pQ0z0T
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqNiOC29MI
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAYNgJ2YRs
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDLlfhFLB0
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApBXSVqZ9v
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3qjKrvS7h
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpQlQ1do2G
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDz5WvWniMW
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGDiNvE6oL
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfWrt8hbwx
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKaoTeKmua
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzoPYbNPyq
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNth8OVNnrx
不好啊非常的不好啊！440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEal1f3klU7
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtcVExUcb6
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCQGekVUXI
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLa1c6rTRg2
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdH6ZZQN7yg
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4f9jHUMDb
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnIkeI3n3r
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGMiSrSYIf
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74o00soEbM
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBcn58XMFP
出了社會，總是得找份工作。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2wXhhWJb0
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEFX5ojHaQ
我自己買了台50CC通勤。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtTuku2qYd
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwaW7ueLVT
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4QW97ECLB
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmf7wq5fnl
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsZ1pyll79
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOjWGeO06q
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqBBJPEKnP
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYVi4hgoNP
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IjL85Z6q6
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsZmVnj13J
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWVeJRSUXl
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1RiVMYKAl
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrVjmVYp9C
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtePhMWDoAS
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWa7Gomxy8b
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32vqZ9JrE0
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxny2wDfeI
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvFNjdzFiO
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNk6jq2dk3
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTOmlqWJLg
它熄火，我傻眼。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5bBOL8ZoU
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AjPLpwlDM
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8bDtCxFqA
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuEq76Ujlr
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZ43ZtXUyc
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8IvNltuWI
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwIBGU9Z9N
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWfrEQebPr
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSc8Y9xeZ6Z
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokrKeN6oEY
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrNGTlBali
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxl5LSwOYA
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtayieA3L7
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLqjTc8kee
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oAiEMDxwU
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdIRRA36Tw
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2MsWh00vV
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