Twas the second month of Quiverus’ reign. He spent his nights sleeplessly, quivering to himself as he thought of all the unjust rulings he was giving. As best he could tell, he was a walking nightmare. Not having any way to tell anyone what was wrong, however, his advisors chalked it up to “the weight that every ruler must carry,” shrugged their shoulders, and went along with it.
This second month would provide Quiverus his most difficult challenge yet. This is the month in which Miss Lucy Mae would meet the love of her life: Disco Larry.
Why did they call him Disco Larry?
Lots of reasons. For one thing, he ran Quirinius’ only disco, which did fairly well during the summer months, when it was warm enough to dance outside. For another, his mother had had a difficult childbirth, and had been on a number of strong painkillers when vital records had asked her what she wanted to name her child. Hallucinating back to the night she met his father, Larry, at a disco, she murmured “Disco—Larry—” before wiping back out for several hours. Thus it was unfortunately also his given name.
Lucy Mae met Disco Larry one night at his disco, where they had a meeting of the minds and danced the night away. He liked her blonde bob; she liked his golden curls, and the rest was history. They spent a single week courting before deciding their chance meeting was destiny in the making, and pledging their undying love to one another forever.
There was just one problem.
Having had such a difficult childbirth, Disco Larry’s mother was a helicopter parent. At 21, he was the youngest DJ Quirinus had ever known (also the only one it had ever known, but that’s beside the point). She firmly believed that 21 was too young to get married. And so, the moment he gave her the news, she put her sizable toad foot down (Larry’s whole lineage was giant toad), and said absolutely not. She then signed poor Larry up for the military.
Distraught, Miss Lucy Mae knew there was only one thing to do, and promptly sought an audience with Quiverus the Unjust. When her turn came to see him, she brought a humble gift of her mother’s marmalade.
You might think that was a silly gift to try to curry favor with one’s governor, but that would show a significant lack of insight into the marmalade in question, as well as into Quiverus the Unjust. Marmalade was his favorite thing in the world, and when he saw it, he was saddened by the fact that he would be unable to render a just decision for poor Miss Lucy Mae.
Her eyes sparkled as she handed the marmalade over. She couldn’t believe her luck in meeting the love of her life at such a young age, and she couldn’t wait to spend the rest of her life with Disco Larry. She had heard the horrible rumors of the unjust proclamations made by Quirinus the Unjust, but, well, love makes us see the world through rose-colored glasses. She genuinely believed he would make an exception for her.
Handing him her prized marmalade, she lifted her sweet little eyes up to look into his sad ones, and said, “Can you please stop Disco Larry’s mother from sending him to the military? I love him, and want to marry him.”
Oh, how Quiverus wished he could tell Miss Lucy Mae to go to another kingdom with her request. How he wished he could march right down to Disco Larry’s mother, and demand that she let Disco Larry get married right this instant.
But he couldn’t. The curse wouldn’t allow him to.
Quiverus quivered.
Miss Lucy Mae looked up, eyes full of hope.
“I’m sorry, Miss Lucy Mae,” Quiverus said. “But Disco Larry needs to go to the military like his mother says.”
Beginning to cry fresh tears, Miss Lucy Mae nodded, lowered her head, and took her leave of Quiverus the Unjust.
Wanting to crawl under a rock, Quiverus let a single tear fall as Miss Lucy Mae walked away. He could hear her sniffling softly to herself all the way down the hall, with her sister Cornelia doing her very best to comfort her as they walked sadly back home.
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