「我是個意外不該出生」
我從夢境中醒來,321Please respect copyright.PENANAMOkqc6f8rm
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事隔多年我還是會被那些回憶驚醒,321Please respect copyright.PENANA6vjPCmZCsN
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那是父親童年時光常常告訴我的,321Please respect copyright.PENANAUOv4a5UcHj
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幼小我的父母就離異,321Please respect copyright.PENANAFNkOn598Kd
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母親是內地人離婚後就回國了,321Please respect copyright.PENANAA3amRkyglF
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對母親的記憶還是有,321Please respect copyright.PENANA8ASSTOHvvT
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記得她很常酗酒,321Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1yrEHX1Mt
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後來的日子,321Please respect copyright.PENANAjjiSQslWu4
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我總是在房間聆聽他們的爭吵。
父親獨自承擔起照顧我的生活,321Please respect copyright.PENANAqO6gVey3PP
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忙於工作的他,321Please respect copyright.PENANAhaUgC8HY3D
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常常讓我睡在幼兒園,321Please respect copyright.PENANAvO1FtWsMbG
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到了上課時間再直接上課,321Please respect copyright.PENANA5nRCrKz6zr
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什麼?為什麼能睡在那裡,321Please respect copyright.PENANA34Qb1YhtwZ
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因為姑姑是那裡的英文導師,321Please respect copyright.PENANAqyK1pR8pCE
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所以我總能寄宿在那裡,321Please respect copyright.PENANAlx0PIZAzIS
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剛開始還會看著監視器期盼,321Please respect copyright.PENANA0imCM5DbAe
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漸漸的知道自己並不會被接走。
開始在小學上課,321Please respect copyright.PENANA2qCWAPJXjt
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父親工作的地方不一定,321Please respect copyright.PENANAUv3Ku90KVg
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輾轉的換了三所小學,321Please respect copyright.PENANAnHL0GWOfVI
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以至於我跟同學之間的關係並沒有那麼好。
父親性格上也開始逐漸扭曲,321Please respect copyright.PENANAG3j2tVi5wT
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他開始會喜怒無常,321Please respect copyright.PENANAinp4HZ31jc
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沒來由的找我發脾氣,321Please respect copyright.PENANAZ61MmycATM
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下一秒又對我十分和善。
我很好奇……家人還有被關愛的感覺,321Please respect copyright.PENANA9vZyYszUY4
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很小我就與異性交往,321Please respect copyright.PENANA5fUWTAMImK
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試圖尋找一些慰藉。
父親,是一名水電工,321Please respect copyright.PENANAMn3trZOu8O
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家裡總是擺滿各式各樣的工作,321Please respect copyright.PENANAy5bt33UuWc
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偶爾我也會陪同他工作,321Please respect copyright.PENANAP0rEZQxMfT
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我會睡在工地,321Please respect copyright.PENANAKzIA8FblCX
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用紙箱跟外套搭建自己的窩,321Please respect copyright.PENANAA8KjiPwPfV
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父親在工作上十分認真敬業,321Please respect copyright.PENANAKepkQ3Hyn4
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委託人總是非常信任他。
國小三年級,321Please respect copyright.PENANAaxO0odEyTZ
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他開始會講貶低的話語,321Please respect copyright.PENANAf1VfPM0zA6
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那些原本用來工作的用具,321Please respect copyright.PENANALREMYTTZ39
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偶爾會成為威脅我的道具,321Please respect copyright.PENANA5y996fjGct
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他會拿著水管說:「你信不信我會打你」321Please respect copyright.PENANAuDNLzYOPAf
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有次,他不蠻玩沉浸電腦跟網友聊天的我,321Please respect copyright.PENANAzIHRqqU4mk
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他直接逼迫我隔天不准上課,321Please respect copyright.PENANAHHxRsTiz9A
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要我轉告給老師,321Please respect copyright.PENANA1hWNULSxIx
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電話裡他說:「老師吼?有種你就報警」321Please respect copyright.PENANAFfYbL4YvmP
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老師報了警,結果不小心報錯地址闖錯的門。
之後,我偶爾會逃家,321Please respect copyright.PENANAbI516O7Mg1
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沒過多久被安排進了補習班,321Please respect copyright.PENANA0m6mwSLgVJ
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那樣的對待仍然持續,而我染上了自傷的習慣。
這樣的日子長達了三年的光陰。
我從回憶中反應過來,321Please respect copyright.PENANAp1cR3Puprn
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細細去回想每個片段,321Please respect copyright.PENANA9FCmLVrJsc
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父親,很不容易的照顧了我的起居,321Please respect copyright.PENANAmPaBEbQQZs
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仔細想想一個照顧小女孩,321Please respect copyright.PENANACO3v3TqGPb
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對他一個大男孩很不容易,321Please respect copyright.PENANAHRuauAIgJy
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所以他很常說:「我是個意外不該出生」321Please respect copyright.PENANA1tNtjfXm0D
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卻不知不覺間深深烙印在我腦海。
或許,我本不應該誕生吧。
整理了一下情緒,321Please respect copyright.PENANAzki4b7SMxo
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走進廁所打理了一下自己狼狽的摸樣,321Please respect copyright.PENANA3r2a5yGM4E
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我打開冰箱,拿出冰牛奶,321Please respect copyright.PENANAUddPcHjzKz
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打算為自己做份牛奶麥片當早餐,321Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZMGLQEOXt
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是父親最常為我做的簡易餐點,321Please respect copyright.PENANA0QbYgVEBHf
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還是有很多屬於他的回憶,321Please respect copyright.PENANAGyJ0wa4QAj
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我喃喃自語到:「好想失憶啊~」321Please respect copyright.PENANANQP8lbTkz8
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正準備吃下第一口時,321Please respect copyright.PENANAqByBWViOjz
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手機螢幕上顯示著今日的新聞,321Please respect copyright.PENANAS3Jt7QypW6
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《少女淚訴遭狼父性騷擾》
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頓時,回憶到了我國二那年。321Please respect copyright.PENANAXGIMXlGbMz