"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYyksGKIjL
"Okay, bye."332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8RuqK4bnL
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUu2SyhPwx
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhJw2QBiLt
At least until I return for another counseling session.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAl2Tazb9f
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5FKh441pU
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1C57EeUa2c
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuGXduEUC8
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCUOlnaTlB
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZeryNAlpQ
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkHQsim6X8
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcIra5rhBc
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPBv71P4i8
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVm7TOLV6F
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LcNMMc2j3
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOiUChASyj
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDDH03vVWy
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQacPdbPzI
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1q5sbrshv0
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcFYH07IrY
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzoFGN5NRw
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RSaxYKxLH
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAIDRbhCna
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9fyMQgvra
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIG7auYb4yH
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITdX1UbvpE
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgvoMseW5F
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaXE9bR2Ce
This is DEPRESSION.”
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzy5u0lMKty
332Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yUV3TFri5
