"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldAP9sFZ8y
"Okay, bye."379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2zmk4JLav
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJo8Ef387I
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXY8V1fsxg
At least until I return for another counseling session.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPQyxzqE2h
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Q3SZRSx0g
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEboo21gim
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi61ybAbZ2c
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ew19IoolY
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0x666hWNI
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhV3OEWqeGp
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlr5g4rHFa
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdi01dOVj3
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeH7eH7ZAq
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvASAKVWa6K
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGn918KRVb
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHGIiq7AgS
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1FBMuXU7r
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHcvBGiCDD
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCOkO7Hqmr
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6m1i3qccD3
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvB8eW05p5
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8h4m38lApK
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tjNF3a1q8
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNqsToPfKp
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPFaXhd17V
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oPrfwIwD0
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGjzfqxHCd
This is DEPRESSION.”
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO105FxFpzY
379Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8CPsfXbvp
