（原作：美宅男夢工廠 by 歐巴龍）
我是鬼，五十年前因一時輕敵被該死的神父封印，今天終於有個智障把我放出來了。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmTlJ58OSB
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqdUMXNeKm
「啊，我不小心撞到了。」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhsP65RqqI
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwhKzLpshF
戴著眼鏡的矮個子從地上撿起斷成兩截的十字架，那十字架做工精細，將耶穌受難的神情刻得栩栩如生，偏偏斷截處又恰好在耶穌的頸子，這彷彿是褻瀆聖子的舉動，嚇得他面色一陣發白。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTm1zRumEMX
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0cnPYXasG
我滿意點頭。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsoIz91IZK
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37vTvVwETP
很好，這就是我要的效果，愧疚吧！顫抖吧！你們內心的恐懼都將成為我的食糧！892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhlcQ8DBRq
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkYyy3J0a5
一旁的高個青年放下行李，接過十字架研究了會，搖頭說：「沒辦法，賠錢吧。」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtJ9uuMS5Z
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNaIPGpnbN
「不知貴不貴？」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMn0ggu2mh0
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafQGAOTcmC
「應該還好。」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xt9c2eBKd
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYr804gjqS
「不過我第一次看到飯店會在房裡放十字架耶。」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3G5hIWl7ha
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAhkAEN7rE
「我也是，也有可能是上一個房客落下的。」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UfaWX4vpf
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySjoJichyl
兩人說著，就扔下十字架，各自從包裡掏出一個15吋的加蓋四方形儀器，分別坐在桌邊和床上看了起來。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbh5dMtBXw
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIRCsqZnfU
我震驚了。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2bON8UrQa
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9UxcJXn8j
不對啊，你們不是該為冒犯神明一事瑟瑟發抖或心生不祥嗎？怎麼可以這麼鎮定？892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSizKZtL1VX
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqom77VFoc1
話說回來，剛這兩個人類說的是哪國語言？892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3N4yiL6jYM
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyonJEJ3wrg
「小語。」高個子捧著四方形儀器坐到矮個子身邊，「我這邊有個Design problem能幫我看一下嗎？」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoY7X6q5vXW
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPT0wyPUas3
喔，總算聽到熟悉的語言，我立刻湊過去，邊在心裡計畫各種嚇人詭計，誰知我一靠近，就被那四方形儀器映射出來的畫面嚇得倒退三舍。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQJX774cX7
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMkhX7yiYN
What the hell?892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJz9sgmuk5W
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46B6wNX708
那些密密麻麻的數字符號和文字是什麼東西？為何每一個拆開我都懂，合起來我就看不懂？難道又是教會新研發的鎮鬼經文？892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeqpwHTSaQ
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreXh7Wa6Qf
幸好我躲了半天，都沒感覺到不適，才又慢慢飄過去，聽他們嘰哩呱啦摻雜一些英文詞彙的對話，什麼Project，什麼Function，If不If，還有……Parent & child？892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LhuV2dYYb
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC43bF4QfzI
嘶——892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkuGvarkar
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScekb9iIWc
我驚疑打量他們只要是黃種人就分不出差別和年紀的臉，開始對他們的關係感到疑惑。但不管怎麼樣，管他們是日本人還是越南人，就算是印度來的，只要是活人，這口糧我都吃定了！892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdK0SKqY01D
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3M7Deg3Ui
陰風輕輕地吹，一隻冰涼的鬼爪胡亂往矮個子的腰窩戳。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUYGadXxp6
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy39d18bmwD
「夏熠輝你幹嘛啦？很癢耶。」矮個子咯咯亂笑，捶了高個子一記。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaNE2i8jox
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUytLUp33bY
正注視「鎮鬼經文」的高個子回過頭，投以茫然目光，「哈啊？什麼？我聽不懂。」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj18ufYnrQb
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6TOH2ORwM
矮個子撇了撇嘴，咕噥一句「又來！」就看回「鎮鬼經文」，「沒什麼，你看這裡……」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LUIIpzRuu
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTpOmaLbpX
「 嗯。」高個子應完，就順手攬住矮個子的腰，看起來像將對方抱在懷裡。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGrk4XbuD6
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqihcVyGj4
我也投以茫然目光，感覺哪裡怪怪的。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO338zCqVca
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdHhvcaRNo
但身為一個高端的鬼，必須不能使用重複伎倆，於是我飄到高個子身邊，俯身在他耳邊輕笑低語，「嘻嘻嘻，要不要陪我玩？」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXE5WNtTDu
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnIsVPWhHf
然而高個子不為所動！892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5D0k8TRyn
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxvhotb4UK
我不死心，再說：「我的腳……你把我的腳藏到哪了？」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLWT7vQJb9
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEaYBoFRqn
高個子依然面不改色！892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGpOs7ljeP
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxzbXvYR6j
我大怒，直接用吼的，「你死定了！我要殺了你！殺殺殺！」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFX83u3TyB
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCXzQRdeiW
這次高個子終於有動作了。他皺眉掏了掏耳朵，取出一個小巧的儀器擦一擦再戴回去。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GLuG5vRg0
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSLuI2emkE
這一刻，我吐血，如果鬼還有血的話。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0y9hzSs1x
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75tKSLF3ao
矮個子比手畫腳地問：「怎麼了？」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSriSdqRRuZ
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCNIFpHGGt
高個子搖搖頭，「助聽器有點雜音，大概之前下雨淋到了。」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVw5gHP8ZLw
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFKjKWGwu3
馬的！原來這傢伙是個聾子！892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oNuIefiDs
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwQsf6Pffc
受到打擊的我窩回角落自閉，直到那兩人蓋上四方形儀器，起身從行李掏出衣物，一前一後地進了浴室，我才精神一振。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFsgcQihMN
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3HdS7XrX8
方才一定是因為「鎮鬼經文」的關係，才讓我出師不利，現在就應該趁他們不在，先把那可疑的四方形儀器毀掉。於是我磨拳擦掌地飄到桌前，準備用最狠厲殘暴的手段摧毀敵人時，就赫然驚見四方形儀器上頭壓著一袋綠色包裝物，那包裝物上頭還印著一個露出兩顆門牙的小傢伙笑容燦爛，這殺傷力不大，但污辱性極強！892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPHT48rHoR
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadC1y57nRT
這時，浴室傳來我聽不懂的對話。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNY0PXisXU
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QT8eS1yh3
「為什麼要擺那包零食？」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73hS61e7Yv
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoSIAOSI10
「那是我們台灣的電腦保護神，只要有綠乖乖，所有電子設備都一定會乖乖運作。」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQVvnw316X
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJr6AGizyI
「所以不能吃嗎？」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0TzGSrVgo
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVdUKlrLmM
「不能，吃了就沒用了。」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxNHdSZBqs
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwhBz0fEKP
「但我餓了。」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjHFDunopm
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZZ5Ubc8fw
「……」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22CVaiW5BC
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0r8Spotr1
此時此刻的我已被怒火佔據理智，絲毫沒意識到哪裡不對勁，只一心想給這兩個該死的人類好看，便動用所有力量顯現身影，以最猙獰駭人的面貌衝進浴室，並開始期待人類被嚇得屁滾尿流的畫面。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uZ28BjYIx
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7ipM2SgBd
哇哈哈哈，驚嚇吧！恐懼吧！人……892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXj1GjrhZJY
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEqH2WSoYY
「啊……夏熠輝……那裡不、不行……」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1HdcDnM2G
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KAfjmdCSc
「小語……小語……」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87927pBWHc
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYn3Yqu61x
Gya——892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMmzENBXPm
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDLPlPUtrt
我發出了比曾被我嚇暈的人類還要驚恐的慘叫。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnwh7lkNJR
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTq2B7KIpd
They are fucking gay!892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbV6KqCrav
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AomK5jsSb
這如同撒旦一般邪惡的存在，徹底嚇破我的小心靈，讓我一秒縮回十字架，還很自覺地將耶穌的頸子接回來。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNPnzS0tKP
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rQhaAmudu
Oh no！No！No！No！No！Hell no！892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUaSLL6EMS
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxe633nYqv2
五十年過去，沒想到人間已經變成撒旦的天下，上帝你這不爭氣的傢伙啊！我看我還是繼續沉眠吧。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpnZdUfyoX
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTg24koJjr
浴室裡，秋推了下將自己壓在牆邊的人，沒戴眼鏡的雙眼一片朦朧，「等、等一下，你剛有沒有聽見什麼？」892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlf4gwjZGK8
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCYPLC33dJ
「嗯？什麼？」夏抱緊懷裡的腰持續衝刺，臉上的神情既迷離又色情，顯然是又聽不見。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrOLTEGMhd
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHi6bQeAbk
秋瞇了瞇眼，心想算了，就夾緊雙腿，繼續在夏的律動下扯著喉嚨嗯嗯啊啊。892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayIrvSKTVS
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGJ8TRSfjG
Treat or trick，不給糖，就「搗」蛋！892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgVhTPP2WQ
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GXiaDvogD
（P.S. 被關五十年的美國鬼，觀念保守，用詞不政確，請見諒（艸）892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWxUqWNwgJ
後記：
此為噗浪幾位文友自辦的【原創文手交換寫同人】活動，這次我抽到的交換對象是歐巴龍，恰逢萬聖節，就來應個景啦XD
難得參加活動，真的是非常有趣的體驗，為此我還重看了一遍《美宅男夢工場》又作了很多筆記，結果最後都沒用上🤣
本來也想隱藏風格，來寫個憂鬱正經風，讓文友猜不到我是誰，但我想來想去，實在想不到切入點，就索性放飛啦XDDD
另外，抽到我的文友是君羊，寫的是《因罪溫存》的顧懷唷，喜歡顧醫師的歡迎點以下網址來看！
#猜猜我是誰 #原創文手交換寫同人 #喵芭閉關坑司機中: #因罪溫存 #賭博
892Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHYUASBbEG
