（原作：美宅男夢工廠 by 歐巴龍）
我是鬼，五十年前因一時輕敵被該死的神父封印，今天終於有個智障把我放出來了。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNM1n07XN1
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgQQt6n2oX
「啊，我不小心撞到了。」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYmVBUJB8T
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrHPxK1D59
戴著眼鏡的矮個子從地上撿起斷成兩截的十字架，那十字架做工精細，將耶穌受難的神情刻得栩栩如生，偏偏斷截處又恰好在耶穌的頸子，這彷彿是褻瀆聖子的舉動，嚇得他面色一陣發白。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VwkyuUO2a
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6AZYMw1mP
我滿意點頭。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5EvGQkhjy
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfqYD4Dboq
很好，這就是我要的效果，愧疚吧！顫抖吧！你們內心的恐懼都將成為我的食糧！836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAR55qz88K
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrJhpCsyTz
一旁的高個青年放下行李，接過十字架研究了會，搖頭說：「沒辦法，賠錢吧。」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMO8dhWwkdH
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYyMDr0VFl
「不知貴不貴？」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAojJaeJBXz
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfgtDp9ztX
「應該還好。」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCjNKvvuAT
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQUulCnyjW
「不過我第一次看到飯店會在房裡放十字架耶。」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3xHKTeaoA
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAXCfRHIJu
「我也是，也有可能是上一個房客落下的。」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IMsmUfNix
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkHopXXJQp
兩人說著，就扔下十字架，各自從包裡掏出一個15吋的加蓋四方形儀器，分別坐在桌邊和床上看了起來。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xrcHmNczz
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4IBz0G4d6
我震驚了。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh83I91sbTP
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtiSSIohYf
不對啊，你們不是該為冒犯神明一事瑟瑟發抖或心生不祥嗎？怎麼可以這麼鎮定？836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3pYVlWuKT
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZTADo0fvZ
話說回來，剛這兩個人類說的是哪國語言？836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0D3QXw0kk
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB97iK6VQFF
「小語。」高個子捧著四方形儀器坐到矮個子身邊，「我這邊有個Design problem能幫我看一下嗎？」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTyJsRQGa0
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4G9dOTkH9w
喔，總算聽到熟悉的語言，我立刻湊過去，邊在心裡計畫各種嚇人詭計，誰知我一靠近，就被那四方形儀器映射出來的畫面嚇得倒退三舍。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJ3khEYWOC
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0gGKW6LXc
What the hell?836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQOhjBxGec
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKUOJEkW0B
那些密密麻麻的數字符號和文字是什麼東西？為何每一個拆開我都懂，合起來我就看不懂？難道又是教會新研發的鎮鬼經文？836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rthHbmuDS
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4DkpyOCWu
幸好我躲了半天，都沒感覺到不適，才又慢慢飄過去，聽他們嘰哩呱啦摻雜一些英文詞彙的對話，什麼Project，什麼Function，If不If，還有……Parent & child？836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJXpG34EtT
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvAZamuErD
嘶——836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEm828oqRZK
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrSLeREdSY
我驚疑打量他們只要是黃種人就分不出差別和年紀的臉，開始對他們的關係感到疑惑。但不管怎麼樣，管他們是日本人還是越南人，就算是印度來的，只要是活人，這口糧我都吃定了！836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI3089V0Gi
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9sqEOPiIW
陰風輕輕地吹，一隻冰涼的鬼爪胡亂往矮個子的腰窩戳。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24ElaFMwuh
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWjChP4chV
「夏熠輝你幹嘛啦？很癢耶。」矮個子咯咯亂笑，捶了高個子一記。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZhubA8JJt
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2uy2d8Azz
正注視「鎮鬼經文」的高個子回過頭，投以茫然目光，「哈啊？什麼？我聽不懂。」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxe06h0cPy
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcHX9Z25XG
矮個子撇了撇嘴，咕噥一句「又來！」就看回「鎮鬼經文」，「沒什麼，你看這裡……」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9a65wPj4Q
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fRU1PbCrI
「 嗯。」高個子應完，就順手攬住矮個子的腰，看起來像將對方抱在懷裡。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPxCj7GvRE
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPPdmpJWjl
我也投以茫然目光，感覺哪裡怪怪的。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uud0JgfKp
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4H6ySIzI7
但身為一個高端的鬼，必須不能使用重複伎倆，於是我飄到高個子身邊，俯身在他耳邊輕笑低語，「嘻嘻嘻，要不要陪我玩？」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMV8geL9ceH
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcfqPK7PNS
然而高個子不為所動！836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vadGmfMSY
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2L0UuuFYAE
我不死心，再說：「我的腳……你把我的腳藏到哪了？」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaKagdlsEo
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Mzci6CqhQ
高個子依然面不改色！836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0LCXpvCGb
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwUQ5Hk6hq
我大怒，直接用吼的，「你死定了！我要殺了你！殺殺殺！」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnnkVAQoPc
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3BcKYYFO5
這次高個子終於有動作了。他皺眉掏了掏耳朵，取出一個小巧的儀器擦一擦再戴回去。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGmlDcmWCW
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj57nlbW2vw
這一刻，我吐血，如果鬼還有血的話。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJ6EozF0CJ
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmf1HIunqE
矮個子比手畫腳地問：「怎麼了？」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPgJNVCMSd
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1DHSDjTnM
高個子搖搖頭，「助聽器有點雜音，大概之前下雨淋到了。」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mSvKFEcDN
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn30vruVoDi
馬的！原來這傢伙是個聾子！836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JgA7Sd5ZK
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAenrUX1XT
受到打擊的我窩回角落自閉，直到那兩人蓋上四方形儀器，起身從行李掏出衣物，一前一後地進了浴室，我才精神一振。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZsrsJaNaJ
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4YfT0qfze
方才一定是因為「鎮鬼經文」的關係，才讓我出師不利，現在就應該趁他們不在，先把那可疑的四方形儀器毀掉。於是我磨拳擦掌地飄到桌前，準備用最狠厲殘暴的手段摧毀敵人時，就赫然驚見四方形儀器上頭壓著一袋綠色包裝物，那包裝物上頭還印著一個露出兩顆門牙的小傢伙笑容燦爛，這殺傷力不大，但污辱性極強！836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzszJV8pOfu
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQw6vrjiiQ
這時，浴室傳來我聽不懂的對話。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWTMxFTDSV
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JAFbfZHjd
「為什麼要擺那包零食？」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpNfcoTtK6
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzNgTXCB6d
「那是我們台灣的電腦保護神，只要有綠乖乖，所有電子設備都一定會乖乖運作。」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaYcQqqWtw
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEANUiHjj3s
「所以不能吃嗎？」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeihsJZRSRU
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMXoSZa8pb
「不能，吃了就沒用了。」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvXsL7Lp7z
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJenJNzdEXN
「但我餓了。」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qnyCeSeqC
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqA3X1TKs1r
「……」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXu55aM3bf
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNMPfwekaN
此時此刻的我已被怒火佔據理智，絲毫沒意識到哪裡不對勁，只一心想給這兩個該死的人類好看，便動用所有力量顯現身影，以最猙獰駭人的面貌衝進浴室，並開始期待人類被嚇得屁滾尿流的畫面。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkCe9l4skk
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ohhaCcpvE
哇哈哈哈，驚嚇吧！恐懼吧！人……836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1u7FsZcbX
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdS1cVpLaPM
「啊……夏熠輝……那裡不、不行……」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv78ctbhFDD
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHs1mz40m9h
「小語……小語……」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPS4JGtARJ0
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpn1bj3AhK
Gya——836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76XnPJtedj
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqCTZFkcSm
我發出了比曾被我嚇暈的人類還要驚恐的慘叫。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTW9wr2hB1E
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3l6hPvZ9x
They are fucking gay!836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9nlUMO3r0
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEe3GmwvtJ
這如同撒旦一般邪惡的存在，徹底嚇破我的小心靈，讓我一秒縮回十字架，還很自覺地將耶穌的頸子接回來。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41OcIJHKIv
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEfU5yifHt
Oh no！No！No！No！No！Hell no！836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUALGgO9fv
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4Xw1wOtSc
五十年過去，沒想到人間已經變成撒旦的天下，上帝你這不爭氣的傢伙啊！我看我還是繼續沉眠吧。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShlGVgYwB3
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZ83XL3vsx
浴室裡，秋推了下將自己壓在牆邊的人，沒戴眼鏡的雙眼一片朦朧，「等、等一下，你剛有沒有聽見什麼？」836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVOaSov64c
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljKRjuMWgb
「嗯？什麼？」夏抱緊懷裡的腰持續衝刺，臉上的神情既迷離又色情，顯然是又聽不見。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhE1YiWe2A6
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFNnMvXSJf
秋瞇了瞇眼，心想算了，就夾緊雙腿，繼續在夏的律動下扯著喉嚨嗯嗯啊啊。836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7q4rZAEnT
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGEn8hEeWQ
Treat or trick，不給糖，就「搗」蛋！836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacuhJs2feu
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKYTwdUxHS
（P.S. 被關五十年的美國鬼，觀念保守，用詞不政確，請見諒（艸）836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NpuMnjIP3
後記：
此為噗浪幾位文友自辦的【原創文手交換寫同人】活動，這次我抽到的交換對象是歐巴龍，恰逢萬聖節，就來應個景啦XD
難得參加活動，真的是非常有趣的體驗，為此我還重看了一遍《美宅男夢工場》又作了很多筆記，結果最後都沒用上🤣
本來也想隱藏風格，來寫個憂鬱正經風，讓文友猜不到我是誰，但我想來想去，實在想不到切入點，就索性放飛啦XDDD
另外，抽到我的文友是君羊，寫的是《因罪溫存》的顧懷唷，喜歡顧醫師的歡迎點以下網址來看！
#猜猜我是誰 #原創文手交換寫同人 #喵芭閉關坑司機中: #因罪溫存 #賭博
836Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqg6btlcOf
