你好，我是莊坌但。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7IhuQBhuq
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJFuPKNmAA
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1R0k5R1jJs
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcBbRpP6VR
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3PHgoHl4T
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡya8WOxBeBv
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ028TBo6poA
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcUY6RpFES
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡba3kGwhQpa
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDAhrBuGCl
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA38H2rILxI
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6Lwtl6ZYY
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4OIc8DEu8
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FKDc2GwGJ
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNdlCGeKmL
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jznGadxz2
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQyU0wuYlY
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mS5oOaaYx
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF57oZ3f98Z
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGLNl9IboX
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsolar4xtyj
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HmQeqk5OH
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75MLNBRwxj
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvnNECE6ec
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZI71AHbLH3
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rllBKcgPo
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HvLSEeyxY
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGD9i1NGAsO
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLl2FpO3KMn
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6iR53Lndf
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHct0LVWAOY
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HJkoOGccT
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpV9cC78m5
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4121103kGd
「你好，我是……」478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHw4c0tjFY3
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRU7CBiXYt
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQKMtf6QAJ
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTn4KDBpb9q
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSRTwWfntK
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUJR4AdVSy
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoZpMCFEyh
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQ3ScVyTrC
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0W15pyeoO
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJnsJrA4xb
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡermvvNA7AW
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKBSTADYyI
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgY6vo9XkFz
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimYil0V40f
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1I2W3LFdSv
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PHOvolyA4
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAbO6QxhIV
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eNDzodu64
不好啊非常的不好啊！478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSKxdOOZs0
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡol2V8BDBPQ
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qKlZqezRJ
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJl9tUIu3eN
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fuwHOigab
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51SSgWEuQz
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDPhZir61t
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56J5yXvMea
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07tQTNLnqY
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOhLp6xc36
出了社會，總是得找份工作。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyRIkzomm0
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxQEJvj4Y6
我自己買了台50CC通勤。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiX9YA4vla
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQ6tC6KRZl
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmoBhJbZ9B
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzLcl8oJOZ
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9lYIxa0dl
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAuLbtRemR
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAERXE5PRD
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdMu5iKWMY
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgPmJ8uAyF
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdOEYZ2LHM
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oUApUVP0S
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOc0zDxXDl
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8SROdZ4XW
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaOmF6KNnu
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7P83guXkHK
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjO51oZpkV
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaaFtVXBa3
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf51rMvIuFL
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIx8httJ2fi
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGuf4Qqhnn
它熄火，我傻眼。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZbzFvqkXz
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaWfklCd9e
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZmqQR36Yj
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NdMzV9WM5
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfQzkBUegu
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwDxql7OGu
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXS42bGl98
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNGPqB4dkC
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdCFWBPG6K
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIT0e4uIvE
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaGtIVxvNy
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXD0kwWOava
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡde48DExARF
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzr0dPXx1od
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fl1FJpbrt
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcqt6gxsVk
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfI8rE1hcJH
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