Dear Luka,337Please respect copyright.PENANAE8PWd8J8ck
You’re never going to see this. This letter, this pouring out of my heart and soul, is going to be lost with me. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, but I know I will never see you again. My dear Luka, there is so much that I wish to tell you. I was always too afraid of the consequences to say these things to you, and now it it too late. But I cannot bear to keep these things inside of me any longer, and so I am putting them into writing. And yet, still you shall never know what it was that I kept hidden from you for so many years, the things that I was always too afraid to say.337Please respect copyright.PENANAbln7Rijemf
We met because of a funeral. It was supposed to be a sad time, a time for grief and remembrance. But that isn’t what it was for me. At that funeral, I saw you for the first time. You were dressed up in a tux, your face downcast, your grief apparent in your eyes. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I didn’t even know your name, but I knew I wanted to be with you forever. I didn’t care how, just so long as you were a part of my life. I was only seven, I knew nothing of love, but I know now that I fell in love with you that day. I spent the entire funeral trying not to look at you, but having to sneak glances at you whenever I could. I was too shy to talk to you, though, and so I left without knowing your name. 337Please respect copyright.PENANA3mgZAKdfiz
For weeks, all I could think about was you. I wanted to know your name, I wanted to know who you were. I wanted desperately to talk to you. I would stare off into the distance, my eyes glazed over, as I imagined you. I would think of how you looked, with you hair slicked back, dark as a raven’s feather. Your eyes were so different, there was no hope of getting them out of my mind. The beautiful, stormy purple that swirled around the pool of black, flecks of gold dropped into the mix, marked you as forever unique. I didn’t know how anyone could have eyes that color. I didn’t know it was possible. 337Please respect copyright.PENANA8uwoasSFzy
School started and I searched the hallways for you. But I never saw you. After a while, I gave up on ever seeing you again. I soon put you out of my mind, but I couldn’t forget you. There was still days that I thought of that boy with the purple eyes, the boy that had captured my heart at a glance. I would curl up somewhere alone during those times, letting the memory of you wash over me. Those times were pleasant, they made me feel like a real girl, even though I had no idea who were you. You definitely weren’t thinking of me, so I don’t know why the thought of you drove me to such feelings. But then I’d remember that you’d caught my heart, that I was yours if you wanted me, if I ever happened to see you again.
High school started, and I could barely breath when you walked into my first period. You were different, but I knew it was you immediately. No one else could have eyes that color. But you were so different from the boy I saw at the funeral. Now, your hair was spiked with the tips bleached white. I learned so much about you in that one period. You were Luka Evans, son of the town sheriff. You were a bad boy, but you got away with everything because of Daddy. You were a jock, the quarterback of the football team. And you would never notice a girl like me. And yet, still, I loved you.
Years passed, and rarely did you talk to me. I would always watch you, though. The only reason I ever went to the football games was to watch you. I helped you with homework when you asked, keeping it a secret because I knew you wouldn’t want everyone to know you actually talked to a nerd. It hurt to know you thought that, but I was happy that I at least got to talk to you some. The only times we ever talked was when I was helping you with homework.
Then came senior year, and you finally changed a little. You had gotten in trouble over the summer, I had heard all about it. I was scared you wouldn’t be coming back to this school, and that I’d never see you again. But then you walked into first period that day, and my heart began to race. You looked just the same, but completely different. I knew the difference as soon as you sat down by me. Your attitude had changed. You were no longer a jock, no longer a prick to everyone around you. I could see the change in your eyes. You started to speak, but I already knew what you were going to say. “It’s okay,” I said. “You don’t have to explain. Let’s just start over, shall we?” You nodded, and that day, a new leaf was turned over. You started hanging out with my people, with me most of all. You became my best friend, and I was happy with that. I thought that surely I would tell you about my feelings someday, but I didn’t want to scare you away too soon. I was content to just be your friend, if for just a while longer.
I promised myself I would tell you my feelings at graduation. But I never got the chance. You see, when I took that trip to Washington D.C., I didn’t know that I would never be coming back. I left, thinking I would see you again, my love for you apparent in my eyes every time you turned your back to me. When I finally said goodbye, I felt a pain inside of me at leaving you. I should have listened to it, turned around, and told you then. But I ignored it, and just walked into the airport. I never knew that I would never be coming back.
I arrived in D.C. with plenty of time for some sightseeing before the day ended. I dropped my luggage at the hotel I would be staying at, not knowing I would never be coming back to it. I stopped in front of the White House gates, looking up in awe at the building before me. That was when everything went wrong. I just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I watched in curiosity as the gates before me opened, a loud ruckus coming from the White House. I looked into the eyes of a man driving a black van for a few seconds, before his friends jumped out of the back and dragged me in. There, bound and gagged, lay the president of the United States, kidnapped by conspirators. I don’t know how they managed it, and truthfully, I didn’t care. But in that moment, I knew I would never be coming home, and that I would never have the chance to tell you how I felt. My dear Luka, I am so sorry for not having the courage to tell you. I’m so sorry that I never told you when you asked what was wrong, not even once out of the six million times you asked. I’m so sorry that this secret will die with me, so sorry that you’ll never know that there was one person who loved you during the time when you thought no one could love you. I loved you, Luka. I did even when you were the most unbearable person in the world, and I will love you until the second I take my dying breath.
I don’t know where I am, Luka. I don’t know how long has passed. I’ve kept the weeks by writing letters to my family, knowing they’ll never be sent. One letter a week, but there are too many to count. But I know I won’t be coming home, I know tonight is my last night. And so I’m writing my final letter, my last goodbye, to the one person I hadn’t dared to write to before. You’ll never read this letter, my dear Luka, but I had to let it all out. You’ll never know my secret, you’ll never know my heart. I’m so sorry for not telling you this before, but, Luka, you truly are my knight in shining armour.
Your damsel in distress
~Lady
337Please respect copyright.PENANAaJ0CYC1Uie
The boy looked up from the paper in his hands with tears in his eyes. The letter had had tear spots on it when he had received it, but now, after he had read it, it was covered in tears. It was a mix of his own tears and that of the one who had written it. He looked up at the president, a question in his eyes. But the answer sent him spiraling down into the depths of despair. There was no hope after those words.
“I’m sorry, son. She died the very next day. All that’s left is the letters that I brought back.”
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