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天亮，上班。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfudKa1IyY
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVay4orTuhS
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFklPrMlAtY
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHomM5DHpsM
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIyd06EpC4
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEsb2WEKEF
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXxwHNQo9j
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUreEHPBUlX
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3yH0wYqCB
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxS5imo24c
看不見，罷。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIXI0iK5Ti
天黑，下班。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3ZrfEduSE
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEMNCHgHJ6
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxnGOBGYFs
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPENTkyFIu
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHpxIIl0zo
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdWxRpqtdT
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuBsF5V4q7
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0d2gxSGl9
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUO1qOOl8bX
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0q2oJ5u5k
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaj7FoBhdF6
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq2EhD90uk
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRD8MHh2Aj
公司，午飯時間。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fGopsgpwj
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJmyv6NRJy
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBoji9kASr
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl40iMmtLg4
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBCs8YELYW
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxabWNvo2D
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYr0HSf523
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIyDAJk5ks
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOMNxranG2
還是……236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpzOdxcz0a
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ruLbuM1S6
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZ25B29wEx
公司，工作。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhjhC0KBCE
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYboui1ky1
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdmeG7Gfg2
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuU0BOSUFbz
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbTt6syaxR
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9VW068tCM
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFp1mDzCg8I
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWir1sLIOek
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKUjYMoHYU
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNWby5KzXX
快意，笑了。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2UBFVD4dV
酒吧，喝酒。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQki1YPlzFB
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVitEJEmwC
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYoy62E4eh
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlflVSJCTNY
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSIMqqzLeU
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1hgMpnGC5
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIekjo0vXQ
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHgjYyBRjz
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Jknr1JLDP
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBSN3CUFnE
醉倒。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AkY9U93ah
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX7ZMxMAWN
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDaVfiBHeU
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGO45ElEn34
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCF74Cksx25
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjQ8MgxBPV
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AMYxeb9hx
假期，醫院。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4vQJ56eLc
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP09BHR04fY
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMMKSj7afw
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1terUyVsqI
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrO30hIEE0F
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZnETxV9Fp
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZVpfcfT8C
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjgKonVjcp
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwgVTwLjq6
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXj5zB2B3Rm
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpCPSTslrX
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXW8BzJsH6
死寂。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc56TScIQS6
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17R7SN0XYP
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGvXvWkFdY
回家，晚飯。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAKUEoH1WA
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfI73GWYVrh
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS255lzWvU4
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMTMNiJJa3
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEJh62x4l1
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLRohMvXTx
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjkrvSLWiZ
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ688U8tDeTk
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyevhZW87X
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CfBMsihEI
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRcwOthKmP
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMOYENkw1o
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzpZtWmaMm
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8347RC9N1
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgszUV0qCk2
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvnFYwPP5t
男友家，床上。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TeDXWqZmA
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdRV8asG2D
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeaRtEVNR8
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1tLG4z6st
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWHxQV5WPe
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUyqfRgCoL
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwfHnvhHQt
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsBpbhmYDi
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi48a0ljSEX
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGlRRJYcTy
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYYDsz2jxR
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpddbFhVwFs
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEkDsvVfan
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzoEnwwDHb
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzaMLnWCGF
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmXgwTZH8D
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR15SlNZ9Ax
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueqq0UvKUO
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9RontSlMq
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfN9xlnIOaB
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgMzhwQGSj
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMF38VB3jqt
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjI5ojcdPu
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnWjqMuuRy
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Sp7T82WyM
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXz7shskI7e
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPbn1YZwi5
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUqnIlIwWM
「在你體內。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxfd4tarJw
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09IWDQCDKZ
「甚麼？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVcGyYjNQG
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rIRSCaIvJ
「蟻。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs13N84Nse0
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1HZUBWEMO
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxkLuKVvDb
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpokU4GaAsv
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNcqWTcaQP
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIopOnEJ4ed
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPr7dhirLAN
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4vJzXkL0R
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gvJnKfRiu
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8mStbZygy
「誰？」另一聲音反問。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTT3v7XCoV
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFWatCAOMy
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZ14OGCw6w
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSvixpuElA
靜。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplRxYoJB7S
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvTzfQJyGW
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgZPicDWGt
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RIKHMzCAk
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFav2zZGMk
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvC1ZoUNZQt
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Va6irpxcn
我：「我有精神病？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeqMp2giuh
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtb9rZkQvp
醫：「是情緒病。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiDYylmeQJ
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLoZuPLxRD
我：「怎麼辦？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfSVYyPQYE
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n9qoHzaee
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TCsNgMxLA
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KTEz5BVRt
我：「謝謝醫生。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrBy1AOKji
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeqY9Wz002
醫：「不用謝。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImdlOGJyhg
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUeRvU4ffC
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0F7RIKw5q
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8t5c7q2Ym
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQXD1p2KIX
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZ5AGd3ycF
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdJfoBlbgg
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVc13QFnrJ
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo9qIOccSg
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUnK6HIPt9
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMej0zj7bYL
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSY0Vaqledn
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9euhSP2GW
……236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvsD8T5GtJ
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmzhlNW0AL
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahbEyOV9cg
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcn29AgnNYT
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規，煩請創挑主通知，願刪文。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFhOKmxDNz
