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-免責聲明：故事內容涉及以人類加入妖怪食物鏈情節，純粹以現時生物學生態類比，只屬幻想與虛構，如有雷同實屬巧合 - 175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5Y38aFmob
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「喂，華仔。」條鬼佬以鬼佬腔廣東話叫我。「今晚有無節目？無就一齊去一野咬到d女一頸血啦？」175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLUmn7xiDV
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmv4B2IujrS
問返果時做咩咬鳩我？佢話，因為佢飲醉左酒喎。而家我焗住要同佢住。無計啦，就算嬲鳩佢咬鳩我，都要同返d生活習慣一樣既人往，做野起上黎方便d呀嘛。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5rt9IcWuL
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnELyoNAk62
「戇鳩仔先會用牙隊落人條頸，噴到成身都係。」我話。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSklMk5q0R
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqYHLIB4z2
「哈哈，我係戇鳩仔。咁先好玩！」鬼佬話。其實鬼佬份人都幾nice，有少少英國紳士feel。不過鬼叫佢咬鳩我咩？咬鳩我我就屌佢架啦。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaWVyneh8j
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNljJRlqSb
鬼佬平時真係會著到成個吸血鬼咁，典型英國風格既吸血鬼。每年Halloween佢就最出位架啦。佢對於班本土派香港殭屍就好少理，因為佢吸親既，都係鬼妹。美國妹英國妹俄妹賓妹索高維亞妹，有邊種妹佢未食過？所以呢，佢又唔會話搶哂班殭屍風頭。有時真係想學下佢咁豁達。英國佬就係咁。BTW佢話佢最憎蘇格蘭吸血鬼。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4mvYdOE6U
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneEOMDvMpu
我地住埋同一個單位，位於元朗某間村屋。如果你都住附近，不防留意下果有架老爺benz，就係我地所在既位置啦。咁當然唔會話埋你知咩車款啦:o)175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1u7Z4XmZg
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cg7ZefFd0
不過鬼佬佢佢從來唔會渣，因為佢會直接變蝙蝠飛去目的地，渣架車過老蘭？佢先唔會啦，過海好撚貴喎佢話。所以成日叫我郁下架車，費事電池無電，叫人黎救車又洗幾舊水。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Rday4Cjb2
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9YZamQm8x
（旁白：點解你地成日乜都話貴？）175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZ9jtrWIIm
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRscVZEcIE
屌啦，吸血鬼都要洗錢架！我地要一日2餐，一個月要飲一次人血，果兩餐唔係錢呀？仲有交租呢？燈油火蠟呢？香港做咩唔洗錢架？做吸血鬼，係香港仲難生存，都唔知邊忽有血！鬼佬就話唔洗點做野，幾百年前銀行D錢，今日仲收緊息，都咪話唔和味！至於我，就係雙失吸血鬼。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjdyiwpyEU
失業、失戀。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVR97jHU5dd
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不過咁，呢部黑色 Benz都叫做變左我溝女既工具。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNpup5nRZ8
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70FSvb6Lit
呀係，小姓劉，名叫做華仔，德華。因為我好鐘意做愛，所以d人又會叫我做愛德華，或者華仔。二十年前，1996年係24歲。今年，2016年，個樣仍然係24歲。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcNxl2WGSm
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyjzGnp8mJ
當年未有SARS，大學生好吃香。今年，大學生做慘過擔爛泥怪。我雖然用左十年時間，讀左個degree，但都唔知做乜好。我呢D夜行生物，除左看更都唔知做咩好囉。試過係老蘭d夜店做過一排bartender既，不過環境太嘈了，吸血鬼對耳唔多頂得順。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHo0yJe8zX8
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiWd1JlGiU
但係，最近見左份新工，希望可以搵到食啦...我諗，應該都幾過癮既。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPUyc9Fa2R
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61vnOslqzw
====================================================175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESPRmKUIqx
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwmKrnqxXy
「華仔下嘛，請坐。」一個著住西裝的女人話。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLxFEec0HC
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnsWli4Xc4
「..唔該。」我話。「可唔可以拉左個窗簾或者..較暗少少個燈。」175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnxKglvd5f
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufOBaequOf
「先生，我都想請你除左副超先，我地先至可以繼續。」個女人話。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcKwR052Ld
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRNrxsrt1F
超，除咪除！吸血鬼唔鐘意見光姐，唔代表見光會死。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7W2WnFxI7r
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG48pCYt15G
「愛德華先生，想請問下你對於你申請既職位，有幾了解？同埋有咩期望呢？」個女人問我。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hwsm9cZPK
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNLq3RlfmC
「咩呀...殺人之嘛下嘛。」我話。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogYCPIxc1W
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi30JZIat8d
「你的確講得無錯...」女人話。「不過...我地指定要殺既人物，一定要以特定方法令佢死亡，唔係只係殺。你知啦，香港地呀嘛。」175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZ8RW29VcA
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRmJcI1KGd
無錯，我見呢份工就係全職殺手。當然唔係上jobDB就搵到啦，點都要靠D門路先至搵到。（唔好問我邊度搵）175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXezjZczT7
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukH7LfKbBN
（旁白：香港有殺手架咩？）175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Tx7YD05K0
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYQPbzcCPT
你地以為香港無殺手？哈哈，咁你地就錯了....你地自己睇下政府公佈既每年香港失蹤人口數字啦，每年穩定地有幾百人。我可以話，除左比我地呢類人外生物食左之外，都係殺手所為。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMXjTwkNcz
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZckQDbj6UV
「明既明既...」我話。「不過可唔可以舉少少例呢？」175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCVN0w14SN
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdrEIlYrUg
「我地係你正式加入前，唔可以講太多。」女人話。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BfFZ9z6lv
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9cUQlVTWv
「咁我加入囉。」我說。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcfsp9GCDI
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLT0BbXglYf
「等等先....先生，我都未知道你適唔適合我地呢份工作。」女人企起身，指住一個紙板人。「我想請你係500米外，刺殺佢比我睇下。工具有哂係檯面，你可以用任何方法。」175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XmJM8hcWb
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNbHeRtZal
我望住檯上面，有刀有弓箭有球棒仲有支甜筒，就係無槍。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfD8h1mnM0d
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRCmC89VZ4
不過都好，比槍我反而唔識用。一個正常香港人有幾可掂過槍呀？175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEVBaEnjz3
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIxYhDvbM5
「開始得未呀？」我問。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pD3yDMJUZ
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡND8sHhZunc
女人點頭。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTADeXNqDml
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DnsrAPmeO
難得有機會，我當然要玩返少少花招啦，豈有此理個女人睇少我？區區一個人類....睇少我？175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugayjcCbZ3
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxfeLVvWJT
「颯！」一下風聲，紙牌人既頭先經比我撕左落黎，係我手上。而我仍然企係原位。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdJJo656mn
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4p5FaZbM0
「....」女人呆左。「你點做到架？」175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9ftQE9aJe
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Z3Vn5weyF
「秘密。」我羅住個人頭放係我塊面前面當做面具。175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4s3H04iFB4
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKl5aogdpcL
「....」女人開始好好奇。「起碼都話我知呢個係咩門派既武功？」175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEz5BBRDWVx
175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSGAGZLPCX
我轉一轉個方向再擺pose：「都係秘密。」175Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Qlovzpy0C
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