
-免責聲明:故事內容涉及以人類加入妖怪食物鏈情節,純粹以現時生物學生態類比,只屬幻想與虛構,如有雷同實屬巧合 - 182Please respect copyright.PENANAQJJAZN8tj7
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「喂,華仔。」條鬼佬以鬼佬腔廣東話叫我。「今晚有無節目?無就一齊去一野咬到d女一頸血啦?」182Please respect copyright.PENANAKPUN6CljD1
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問返果時做咩咬鳩我?佢話,因為佢飲醉左酒喎。而家我焗住要同佢住。無計啦,就算嬲鳩佢咬鳩我,都要同返d生活習慣一樣既人往,做野起上黎方便d呀嘛。182Please respect copyright.PENANAclnRIkPPoE
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「戇鳩仔先會用牙隊落人條頸,噴到成身都係。」我話。182Please respect copyright.PENANAeztvXMvl6x
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「哈哈,我係戇鳩仔。咁先好玩!」鬼佬話。其實鬼佬份人都幾nice,有少少英國紳士feel。不過鬼叫佢咬鳩我咩?咬鳩我我就屌佢架啦。182Please respect copyright.PENANAmDLC5pDskk
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鬼佬平時真係會著到成個吸血鬼咁,典型英國風格既吸血鬼。每年Halloween佢就最出位架啦。佢對於班本土派香港殭屍就好少理,因為佢吸親既,都係鬼妹。美國妹英國妹俄妹賓妹索高維亞妹,有邊種妹佢未食過?所以呢,佢又唔會話搶哂班殭屍風頭。有時真係想學下佢咁豁達。英國佬就係咁。BTW佢話佢最憎蘇格蘭吸血鬼。182Please respect copyright.PENANADcq7pXhOHA
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我地住埋同一個單位,位於元朗某間村屋。如果你都住附近,不防留意下果有架老爺benz,就係我地所在既位置啦。咁當然唔會話埋你知咩車款啦:o)182Please respect copyright.PENANAtAqh2P29ge
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不過鬼佬佢佢從來唔會渣,因為佢會直接變蝙蝠飛去目的地,渣架車過老蘭?佢先唔會啦,過海好撚貴喎佢話。所以成日叫我郁下架車,費事電池無電,叫人黎救車又洗幾舊水。182Please respect copyright.PENANAHfr6ckxFoa
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(旁白:點解你地成日乜都話貴?)182Please respect copyright.PENANANRdRal8zmq
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屌啦,吸血鬼都要洗錢架!我地要一日2餐,一個月要飲一次人血,果兩餐唔係錢呀?仲有交租呢?燈油火蠟呢?香港做咩唔洗錢架?做吸血鬼,係香港仲難生存,都唔知邊忽有血!鬼佬就話唔洗點做野,幾百年前銀行D錢,今日仲收緊息,都咪話唔和味!至於我,就係雙失吸血鬼。182Please respect copyright.PENANAX8pQOJFHvM
失業、失戀。182Please respect copyright.PENANAs0UbZ9oou7
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不過咁,呢部黑色 Benz都叫做變左我溝女既工具。182Please respect copyright.PENANAZGjzZ0YpCR
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呀係,小姓劉,名叫做華仔,德華。因為我好鐘意做愛,所以d人又會叫我做愛德華,或者華仔。二十年前,1996年係24歲。今年,2016年,個樣仍然係24歲。182Please respect copyright.PENANAuUOHN5MCfe
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當年未有SARS,大學生好吃香。今年,大學生做慘過擔爛泥怪。我雖然用左十年時間,讀左個degree,但都唔知做乜好。我呢D夜行生物,除左看更都唔知做咩好囉。試過係老蘭d夜店做過一排bartender既,不過環境太嘈了,吸血鬼對耳唔多頂得順。182Please respect copyright.PENANAeS31YjzOFX
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但係,最近見左份新工,希望可以搵到食啦...我諗,應該都幾過癮既。182Please respect copyright.PENANA46NfmU2FjS
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「華仔下嘛,請坐。」一個著住西裝的女人話。182Please respect copyright.PENANAzVbH1CDSK1
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「..唔該。」我話。「可唔可以拉左個窗簾或者..較暗少少個燈。」182Please respect copyright.PENANA5wesMXiLnH
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「先生,我都想請你除左副超先,我地先至可以繼續。」個女人話。182Please respect copyright.PENANA5j516Z6Cwm
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超,除咪除!吸血鬼唔鐘意見光姐,唔代表見光會死。182Please respect copyright.PENANAPXbBFa4WW3
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「愛德華先生,想請問下你對於你申請既職位,有幾了解?同埋有咩期望呢?」個女人問我。182Please respect copyright.PENANAtACrLPI886
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「咩呀...殺人之嘛下嘛。」我話。182Please respect copyright.PENANAARiKq09mLm
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「你的確講得無錯...」女人話。「不過...我地指定要殺既人物,一定要以特定方法令佢死亡,唔係只係殺。你知啦,香港地呀嘛。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAiz4wvRDav6
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無錯,我見呢份工就係全職殺手。當然唔係上jobDB就搵到啦,點都要靠D門路先至搵到。(唔好問我邊度搵)182Please respect copyright.PENANAmbInppMk5T
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(旁白:香港有殺手架咩?)182Please respect copyright.PENANA17VgC9jEoJ
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你地以為香港無殺手?哈哈,咁你地就錯了....你地自己睇下政府公佈既每年香港失蹤人口數字啦,每年穩定地有幾百人。我可以話,除左比我地呢類人外生物食左之外,都係殺手所為。182Please respect copyright.PENANAoovR7XDf4M
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「明既明既...」我話。「不過可唔可以舉少少例呢?」182Please respect copyright.PENANA4b9aV6QuC4
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「我地係你正式加入前,唔可以講太多。」女人話。182Please respect copyright.PENANA6BOBbNaaJ5
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「咁我加入囉。」我說。182Please respect copyright.PENANAgX8E0plbuy
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「等等先....先生,我都未知道你適唔適合我地呢份工作。」女人企起身,指住一個紙板人。「我想請你係500米外,刺殺佢比我睇下。工具有哂係檯面,你可以用任何方法。」182Please respect copyright.PENANA56HwIIYThk
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我望住檯上面,有刀有弓箭有球棒仲有支甜筒,就係無槍。182Please respect copyright.PENANA7gbCPOlfOZ
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不過都好,比槍我反而唔識用。一個正常香港人有幾可掂過槍呀?182Please respect copyright.PENANA9G7u4OT2zq
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「開始得未呀?」我問。182Please respect copyright.PENANAwxQE2jckLL
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女人點頭。182Please respect copyright.PENANAXyDclR88E5
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難得有機會,我當然要玩返少少花招啦,豈有此理個女人睇少我?區區一個人類....睇少我?182Please respect copyright.PENANA1gH44KjF1E
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「颯!」一下風聲,紙牌人既頭先經比我撕左落黎,係我手上。而我仍然企係原位。182Please respect copyright.PENANAhwwLqduKPz
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「....」女人呆左。「你點做到架?」182Please respect copyright.PENANAUgt5xoUf5A
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「秘密。」我羅住個人頭放係我塊面前面當做面具。182Please respect copyright.PENANAT4wCNsRiRC
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「....」女人開始好好奇。「起碼都話我知呢個係咩門派既武功?」182Please respect copyright.PENANAIJVOzOldSt
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我轉一轉個方向再擺pose:「都係秘密。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAoHStTvzwmJ
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