《赤足的庭院》（2）108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZC0RZhj2D
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdibx5hR7oy
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGyYxNmgUR
003108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmqmMSGoP8
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU48Xpa8bNN
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXPBHGEt15
我對故鄉的印象僅僅是印象。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTrSsKXn76
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aVWCLWlbf
因為那裡的事物並不是被人實務性的記憶下來，而是作為更不完全的東西，留在心底的某些角落。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjIPYxluku
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qoTLt2l6x
我記得潮水的味道和海浪等聲音，沙子的觸感，樹梢下刮起的微風，夜晚時絕對黑暗的地面，和成為那個時間裡唯一存在事物的星和月。魚腥味、油輪的廢氣、風雨來的時候，所感到的恐懼。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlNjgBOfVt
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCC8RxCB4f
我的故鄉作為一個印象，我記錄在腦中，知道自己總有一天會以某個型式的遠離它。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldo3J20Gi7
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNEl54k3aC
但那不是指現在。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDK0KQnLAj
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtY2w0yFs7H
就算獨自一人逃到台北，看過了城市鮮豔的夜色，耳裡塞滿城市的吐和吸，我還是知道，自己並沒有真正的遠離故鄉。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5vqpOKXGO
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfRgLxSTWe
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OfCG8fjuV
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzQ5PXb6IL
「嗯⋯⋯可以問你的名字嗎？」小舫姐說她昨晚沒能睡著。在平常的那張餐桌上，她癱軟的用雙手撐著臉。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlzvJm7dkV
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPso4tsItB
我一邊解釋著自己的事，一邊看著她疲累的試著聽進我所說的。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJbzp2BOLD
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd04UDrWfik
看她渴望睡眠的樣子，我感到有些內疚。她睡不好大概就是因為我。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbXdhJfTsp
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6j19UNurj
昨晚，小舫姐讓我暫時待在她家借住一晚。公寓的房間很小，只有一張床鋪。我原本堅持要睡地板，不過被她拒絕了：「落到這副德性的人少跟我客氣。」。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBxQqBtP4A
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdqz5Tajl1
多了一個人在床上，一定很不習慣。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4atcmvMTN
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtEyOZEBV2
但是昨晚，還好我實在是筋疲力盡，不然大概會整夜無法入睡。年紀的問題。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzIeKtpDlC
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zplWZtNhl
「李靜。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4a9RddQy1
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wKdR1GtlH
「噢，好娘。李靖或是李欽不是更適合男孩子嗎？」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6G2ieGwGk
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BCbtVX8Il
「⋯⋯」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HYLVs4A3W
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTe5iBKvfVY
「不過還好。要是是李靖或是李欽的話，昨天晚上我大概就危險嘍。」我說。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2pA5UnAM2
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4UX0MMMS4
「哈⋯⋯」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn17HPbzlz
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8rZC8pppY
當然，昨晚的我本來就沒有對他抱著任何期待。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPioh0AwqP7
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqGOEs8UPS
只是回想起來，那確實是很荒謬的決定。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aFkaTFZ2F
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1qSL72QjW
「一個23歲的女人，讓16的陌生少年上了自己的床鋪。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jHkTBjhtQ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7fxJKHdiY
寫成文字或是作為台詞被唸出來，大概都不會影響它的離譜。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3hm7HlRjD
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveFVMOrff7
「那麼，李靜。你打算就這麼住下來嗎？」她問，十分嚴肅的。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPT7RgxlKHl
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDMJCeju2i
我搖搖頭。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBeZYJLEFA
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEw0ALI6ll
「靠著你偷出來的錢，青年旅館還能住多久呢？要是在那之前，你依然不想回到自己的故鄉，你打算怎麼辦？」還不想，的話。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhgBdkdEOd
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8i24APXouL
面前的少年低著頭，一語不發。我大概知道他在思考著什麼。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqBUiSnbXN
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcye3sUE0A6
「我遲早會遠離我的故鄉⋯⋯」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SNaKHSigR
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdv9A2Uy25c
「但不是由這個方式。對吧？」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnjaek9qNP
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAsROeWYt3
「是的，所以⋯⋯」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lrHlbtyqy
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQT0O4VeicJ
「怎麼辦呢？」這次不是為了捉弄人，她露出溫柔的微笑。「在錢花完之前，你得思考噢。來到這個混亂的場所，你能得到什麼？或是追求什麼。」她說。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiv7Uk7bLGa
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbs2qVAz1P
「小舫姐，妳常常離家嗎？」他突然一臉佩服的看著我。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn17pq6AEP1
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTytW0tghiu
「這是什麼蠢問題？」啊，說錯話了。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9sbrSA1J4
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAp4lNibRRk
「嗯⋯⋯不是，總感覺妳很熟練的樣子。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiOi1OochP
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyhnAxAXXU
「怎麼可能。」她說。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJfx6q2ORE
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxVS48V3jq
然而這是事實。16歲之前，我離家過無數次，每次都是無功而返，只帶回挫折跟疲勞的身體。然後，到了他的這個年紀，我幾乎像是投降了一樣。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrD6TCzYPP
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZwquYraXO
好好的準備了考試，盡了全力去考大學。畢業之後也找到了穩定的工作。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJMYRJDTDa
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0Szb2kiEs
這7年來的生活十分穩定。而且那是不容置疑的正確。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhwyvWmKMU
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHCvG6AM6a
直到他出現的那天。我再次質疑起自己作的決定。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1CaKlYPNv
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ481hqTYiuk
長時間離開過我的這份自我懷疑又找上門來，然而我絲毫不比之前的自己成熟或是冷靜。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODXvRmDlW1
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xHjcKbwVL
但是看著他，我總有一種感覺。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyOoTMLtkG
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡem4Rlqohnz
「大概沒問題的。我想⋯⋯。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PGBSD3dEr
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eOQAV3yo1
沒有理由的，我這麼相信著。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nZpjzZRCQ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnN7sowTqoZ
因為，注視著她時，海嘯和風的呼嘯聲就會從腦袋中消失。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJty3uRLVYP
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN67oegQFCi
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZ9mMJkkKM
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSG61VK6IH
004108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Y7jd6mmFg
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJv35KzRq6R
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8r4wJ4CZS
「阿靜，你是獨生子嗎？」最近每到中午，她都會走到我身邊，把我從樓下的那個陰暗的角落，帶到樓上的用餐區。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngHSvId1J0
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMcGb2DqKA
「是啊。」我吃著員工餐，回應的問題。到台北之後，這是我第一次吃到泡麵以外的熱食。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhH0fJHdWE
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqPGokv6tG
「好吃嗎？」她用頭指了指我的盤子。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwZPXq7K8Q
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2edBJ2NTgy
「嗯，非常美味。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmd4X6rjk3
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxbxWMJkMk
「那就好。」她又塞了一口飯到口中。「你看這個。」她拿出手機。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWHM6Ue4hg
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCCfmlwRPr
滑開桌面，她打開某個定期回報全球衛星雲圖的程式。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgtCaZ8jb1
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡim1rsGFUfZ
不知道為什麽，程式剛打開所指定的地方是新幾內亞，但是她好像不太在意。說實在話，我也不太在意，我滿腦子在想桌面照片是哪個作家的書。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGaBSI5bQd
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1h1ZqGBw6
然後她讓我看了台灣附近。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0Ucbx5QGq
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZC3MVC2ca
「一次來兩個颱風噢，很要命對吧？」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0Ipik9CBR
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaczDzuqRFp
「嗯⋯⋯。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUanHPcJXj
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlq5mGGEaL
「可是啊，你看這個。預測路線說，它們會剛剛好⋯⋯像這樣，一個往上、一個往下，躲開台灣噢。」她用手指畫出線條，語氣雀躍的說。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60JPhRcTkg
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2qoGiCOlH
「真的是這樣就太好了。」他皺著眉頭說。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcy7GFaDWw4
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsM2bfo3I0f
肯定沒事的。看到她笑著這麼說，我的心不知為什麼就這麼安心下來了。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNx2rGM13yo
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYjibgVKZW
我從二樓的圍欄往一樓看，看到不少人離開座位，或是把書本丟在一旁，往樓上來。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuoETOz4Mg
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6h9Q4Gbyd
離席的人一個個往同一個方向去，每個人離開前的習慣和走路的姿勢、服裝的外型，從腳的移動到眼神，每個人都有所不同，卻做著一樣的事。我很喜歡這幅光景。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWiG4W8O2u
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsRSCB1qLW
「阿靜，獨生子是什麼樣的感覺啊？」我的注意回到她身上。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1fi2Xuyvm
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ddkNCIf7C
「什麼？」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKz5P63vtqk
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuDgNgjMJS
她又問了一次。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DEKAI5oTV
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1Z5v2TW4f
「啊⋯⋯獨生子啊，不知道，小舫姐不是獨生女嗎？感覺很像啊。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwSDnWlOrr
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbkq5ZKfNj
「什麼意思？」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcx6mu8sRyx
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0t7MStTLz
「對那種需要一個人鑽研的事物比較感興趣。」孤僻的怪人。我從來沒看見她和其他圖書館員熱絡的交談過，說不定，她在這唯一的朋友就是我了。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWM4yxktcf
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdGxhWJArz
「噢，這樣啊⋯⋯還有呢？」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkK4D8xSxzd
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwFN4CogRn
「感覺很有自己的想法。」不顧別人的感受。從來不看場合的捉弄人，不管話題或是氣氛，只要她覺得好玩就好。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctHprBPLNp
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuYCIBYvhU
「這樣啊，可是我不是噢。」她笑著說。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFbOWV08tW
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXpxh1oWZN
「是嗎？」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnFa8vzt9l
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9M4y7n6cE
「嗯，我有一個弟弟⋯⋯長得跟你很像噢。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaHIOnxJ5m
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmKX5ofDOn
她這麽的同時，皺起眉頭，仔細的觀察的我的五官。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6QmoK6vN3
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYynFzRZmbz
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfzBcpkpvE
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyCjFA0uFX
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0Otn5lv2N
果然很像。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVLD4CYmBD
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03O6O1ejg9
午餐時間結束，他作為暫時的圖書館員，整理書架時的那副神情，和弟弟替我收拾行李時的表情一模一樣。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9sDR92j8k
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZMlRm2ll8
那是我第四次的離家出走。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTpTAcEv6o
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLWRDUMn8i
準備離開家門前，剛升國中的弟弟，突然擅自打開我的行李箱。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfqFkvaspJ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFl7LcDar7K
我害怕會錯過父母不在家的時間，對他斥責了幾句。但是他很冷靜，說要替我檢查。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroo3uBawBt
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYcWDhEyoL
「少了牙膏和食物⋯⋯啊，火車上要看的書呢？姊，妳沒有書活得下去啊？」這時的我，為了大學的志願在鬧家庭革命。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmPfFH0orH
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx46DKYcMcX
我喜歡文學。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeSAsImBGT
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpaysfZGtz
那個時候，驅動我一切不成熟和自私的動力，都來自這麼一個模糊而膚淺的理由。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeoTrRZI11
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oIHVb8tyT
因為這個尚未成形的夢想⋯⋯那個時候，更適合的詞可能是妄想。因為它，我把自己的容身之處給否定了。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJlR16YjDQ
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZjk6IE2We
「 我無法待在那個否定我一切的地方。」我那個時候是這麼告訴弟弟的。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKq42ozYnT6
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zy9AMmdwv
我看著他替我收拾書本和盥洗用具後，他堅持要送我到車站。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTQ548d36U
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FJtNmAmSg
於是我在車站冷冰冰的塑膠椅上，用極為平淡的語氣對還是國中生的他說。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbxLM1BkCC
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtLCzzC7df
「嗯⋯⋯從妳的角度來看，待在家裡確實是很痛苦吧。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoeR7Upips
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQE39Be4iIa
我沒有說話，於是他繼續說。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMnTupWef7
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJIAIW0vOJ
「我希望妳能快樂。當然，我也希望爸爸媽媽快樂⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯怎麼辦呢？」他笑著對我說。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhCN81RPA2
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74owFJmz4i
那時的我沒有意識到，他的笑之後有著多麼巨大的重量。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDzJbu8Sfb
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8LWHW8r6l
也許因為我，他時時刻刻對自己的存在感到矛盾。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpNChfxIGL
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtZcmyLNjq
但我被自己的夢想遮住了耳，沒能聽出他的求救。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjJ95yJfv6
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHeDz9tOdS
「謝嘍。」搔搔他的頭，我抱住他瘦小的身軀。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡardvcrUFWP
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1NNoqHZGq
「姊⋯⋯早點回來噢。不要餓到肚子。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHF4lYPmcSz
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rmnVtI7Hf
「嗯，你也是。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJ3oKpdyHv
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkmmkXrgFC
我記得，那個冬天，台北第一次下了雪。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1prBEyl9k
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEb3vo6ZzCO
雖然是很少、很細的冰線，但那確實，是貨真價實的雪。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ajb1RrG2G
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXww5AGgg2Z
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuKlairLuV
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡum5Vix6fBC
「小舫姐⋯⋯這個算是小說學術類還是偉人自傳啊？」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Zg2skZcqH
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaMWEsYltb
「嗯？我看看噢。」
Penana
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