《赤足的庭院》（2）109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixYFuFsqpm
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcLfJlkh5m
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003109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAz141j4D3g
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHTYdd5Rwf
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8m3Fj04irq
我對故鄉的印象僅僅是印象。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYR1dgE3YA
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlyywtzGzv
因為那裡的事物並不是被人實務性的記憶下來，而是作為更不完全的東西，留在心底的某些角落。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElw9a5YOCx
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8m5GSOEe8U
我記得潮水的味道和海浪等聲音，沙子的觸感，樹梢下刮起的微風，夜晚時絕對黑暗的地面，和成為那個時間裡唯一存在事物的星和月。魚腥味、油輪的廢氣、風雨來的時候，所感到的恐懼。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKlgoSVpGi
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeZOb80r5g
我的故鄉作為一個印象，我記錄在腦中，知道自己總有一天會以某個型式的遠離它。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOLdcrNEec
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但那不是指現在。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMQ6EdONM0
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpJX3S9sqI
就算獨自一人逃到台北，看過了城市鮮豔的夜色，耳裡塞滿城市的吐和吸，我還是知道，自己並沒有真正的遠離故鄉。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PveNOJPlN
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCVPn9GrXY
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstUPGDGMkt
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtSEoc0pzq
「嗯⋯⋯可以問你的名字嗎？」小舫姐說她昨晚沒能睡著。在平常的那張餐桌上，她癱軟的用雙手撐著臉。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZPR8l7MSZ
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOIBfQJN7n
我一邊解釋著自己的事，一邊看著她疲累的試著聽進我所說的。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7IE3QrcTZ
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiMq4GjWAP
看她渴望睡眠的樣子，我感到有些內疚。她睡不好大概就是因為我。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSY3Frzq0fA
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9ivfPtiRk
昨晚，小舫姐讓我暫時待在她家借住一晚。公寓的房間很小，只有一張床鋪。我原本堅持要睡地板，不過被她拒絕了：「落到這副德性的人少跟我客氣。」。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs41xnVZJ1x
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7pQiekC5I
多了一個人在床上，一定很不習慣。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAbFS8IeNy
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4FwXDrfuS
但是昨晚，還好我實在是筋疲力盡，不然大概會整夜無法入睡。年紀的問題。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXHmbUY2wk
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKDbbFfQYA
「李靜。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVdAIo3las
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsM4bJdfAy
「噢，好娘。李靖或是李欽不是更適合男孩子嗎？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeezuC6KLE
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPep6xCS2gw
「⋯⋯」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMQmv60V1O
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMu4HHoqv8r
「不過還好。要是是李靖或是李欽的話，昨天晚上我大概就危險嘍。」我說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOi9mMkHxj
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZuZJSkvme
「哈⋯⋯」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHIpp9YfUG
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvTVekg4cg
當然，昨晚的我本來就沒有對他抱著任何期待。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXnahPiBHE
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVA8BXD87p
只是回想起來，那確實是很荒謬的決定。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDIIFMt0RU
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEYBgp8EpT
「一個23歲的女人，讓16的陌生少年上了自己的床鋪。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteoFFnt1RB
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Mvizkbz6Z
寫成文字或是作為台詞被唸出來，大概都不會影響它的離譜。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mb6PmeUpb
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsign5ncg4
「那麼，李靜。你打算就這麼住下來嗎？」她問，十分嚴肅的。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFORE1PTw5D
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WPLMfI1Pc
我搖搖頭。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcUpMwUrBY
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1usbZK8RM6
「靠著你偷出來的錢，青年旅館還能住多久呢？要是在那之前，你依然不想回到自己的故鄉，你打算怎麼辦？」還不想，的話。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuKGnExMCF
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFpVXp0I5A
面前的少年低著頭，一語不發。我大概知道他在思考著什麼。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIzhE81xDi
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0McaJPF415
「我遲早會遠離我的故鄉⋯⋯」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZUce839xH
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LEodgkXig
「但不是由這個方式。對吧？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NWXtODFPj
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「是的，所以⋯⋯」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7O7BhKeSf
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqp8FYy9ej
「怎麼辦呢？」這次不是為了捉弄人，她露出溫柔的微笑。「在錢花完之前，你得思考噢。來到這個混亂的場所，你能得到什麼？或是追求什麼。」她說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJybmecY7o
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgs8U5HqMQ
「小舫姐，妳常常離家嗎？」他突然一臉佩服的看著我。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA07ClArgJi
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4XXHw4hcj
「這是什麼蠢問題？」啊，說錯話了。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgDK9XwpfJ
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQaira906d
「嗯⋯⋯不是，總感覺妳很熟練的樣子。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwPvEFTDxn
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jPhZr0saM
「怎麼可能。」她說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRWPMxC1Ic
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqj0VLGcAR
然而這是事實。16歲之前，我離家過無數次，每次都是無功而返，只帶回挫折跟疲勞的身體。然後，到了他的這個年紀，我幾乎像是投降了一樣。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBpgjGUqXA
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSP5BOlGZk
好好的準備了考試，盡了全力去考大學。畢業之後也找到了穩定的工作。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7LSjcokpb
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojycGOFgNw
這7年來的生活十分穩定。而且那是不容置疑的正確。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGJlBwroJK
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHg7UnMK7H
直到他出現的那天。我再次質疑起自己作的決定。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gicxUgQ8A
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5kbnrCBpr
長時間離開過我的這份自我懷疑又找上門來，然而我絲毫不比之前的自己成熟或是冷靜。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTe3L1xUnd
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc32Y9c68mo
但是看著他，我總有一種感覺。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GvTya8vsT
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkXvX3RGX9
「大概沒問題的。我想⋯⋯。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSw6sL10YdE
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv08SIHCDM0
沒有理由的，我這麼相信著。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv589GoYD9S
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmMl4MhAvV
因為，注視著她時，海嘯和風的呼嘯聲就會從腦袋中消失。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EVx077bD2
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡav5fgQjFiz
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004109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Z6e1i3bFa
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109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65kYvNqb0j
「阿靜，你是獨生子嗎？」最近每到中午，她都會走到我身邊，把我從樓下的那個陰暗的角落，帶到樓上的用餐區。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsNKQueeUo
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXercONbZt
「是啊。」我吃著員工餐，回應的問題。到台北之後，這是我第一次吃到泡麵以外的熱食。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxq6JhDV6R5
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYpKeqyPYO
「好吃嗎？」她用頭指了指我的盤子。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobZCsKvL8A
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmzeCnjdMk
「嗯，非常美味。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5bdR60scp
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dIwXqrlAQ
「那就好。」她又塞了一口飯到口中。「你看這個。」她拿出手機。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCWMoBKAgY
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo27L83ZEsx
滑開桌面，她打開某個定期回報全球衛星雲圖的程式。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoucNy9edM
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLPCYiT3re
不知道為什麽，程式剛打開所指定的地方是新幾內亞，但是她好像不太在意。說實在話，我也不太在意，我滿腦子在想桌面照片是哪個作家的書。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJ4vlggaQ9
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoa78L6GvFe
然後她讓我看了台灣附近。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsRgP0XqN4
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbDgFx3B0t
「一次來兩個颱風噢，很要命對吧？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdaKox4Nq1
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeorCbFneI
「嗯⋯⋯。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PJYIN4ysU
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaHE9jBsTV
「可是啊，你看這個。預測路線說，它們會剛剛好⋯⋯像這樣，一個往上、一個往下，躲開台灣噢。」她用手指畫出線條，語氣雀躍的說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6O5bnQkiX
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡob1XiZLRKX
「真的是這樣就太好了。」他皺著眉頭說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMLEZCEVbi
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKS1qlSdvY
肯定沒事的。看到她笑著這麼說，我的心不知為什麼就這麼安心下來了。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6ZmNHpP6k
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bXTXDlb0B
我從二樓的圍欄往一樓看，看到不少人離開座位，或是把書本丟在一旁，往樓上來。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmBZcf7Yof
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMh70DLmbY5
離席的人一個個往同一個方向去，每個人離開前的習慣和走路的姿勢、服裝的外型，從腳的移動到眼神，每個人都有所不同，卻做著一樣的事。我很喜歡這幅光景。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbdGpnNaI7
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5nkTGOHXN
「阿靜，獨生子是什麼樣的感覺啊？」我的注意回到她身上。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJuIZLrVjJ
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrICfaJCOzK
「什麼？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bDE45zo7n
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQbtZ7OJYR
她又問了一次。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7tRexcpNO
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9Y2o0txnE
「啊⋯⋯獨生子啊，不知道，小舫姐不是獨生女嗎？感覺很像啊。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrXoAVu2Qu
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4XfED4DNF
「什麼意思？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYzzhTsX85
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZBXZi6GgV
「對那種需要一個人鑽研的事物比較感興趣。」孤僻的怪人。我從來沒看見她和其他圖書館員熱絡的交談過，說不定，她在這唯一的朋友就是我了。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhjt3gd0XX
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqTYj9dqqJ
「噢，這樣啊⋯⋯還有呢？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUkSNYyBD6
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8HZDJZ5J1
「感覺很有自己的想法。」不顧別人的感受。從來不看場合的捉弄人，不管話題或是氣氛，只要她覺得好玩就好。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5x7Za1rNN
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYOu1T0DZR
「這樣啊，可是我不是噢。」她笑著說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGFfqEGQ0l
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAGLweqL84
「是嗎？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡim93l4HlUE
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「嗯，我有一個弟弟⋯⋯長得跟你很像噢。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRbXeDj2vt
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMpkfnaLpi
她這麽的同時，皺起眉頭，仔細的觀察的我的五官。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EMLhOWC8S
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果然很像。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb66eN0D9F5
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rtWyqPSdJ
午餐時間結束，他作為暫時的圖書館員，整理書架時的那副神情，和弟弟替我收拾行李時的表情一模一樣。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKKOs2r6If
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZ0lqsNixa
那是我第四次的離家出走。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGY7fHTW4uO
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqab6bN3mpi
準備離開家門前，剛升國中的弟弟，突然擅自打開我的行李箱。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1f4PE0fFD
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbp7khi4YxD
我害怕會錯過父母不在家的時間，對他斥責了幾句。但是他很冷靜，說要替我檢查。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0poHomqLzI
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOTMQ2FCet
「少了牙膏和食物⋯⋯啊，火車上要看的書呢？姊，妳沒有書活得下去啊？」這時的我，為了大學的志願在鬧家庭革命。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FrPV1i1Eh
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgLrknTcdX
我喜歡文學。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR62u1fqpCb
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCO4PAHKp4Q
那個時候，驅動我一切不成熟和自私的動力，都來自這麼一個模糊而膚淺的理由。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiG1subSpzj
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3Ukc4YYSZ
因為這個尚未成形的夢想⋯⋯那個時候，更適合的詞可能是妄想。因為它，我把自己的容身之處給否定了。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpL1G9aNNH4
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDIiTNpKyh
「 我無法待在那個否定我一切的地方。」我那個時候是這麼告訴弟弟的。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pYU3C7S0z
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQlBYf984U
我看著他替我收拾書本和盥洗用具後，他堅持要送我到車站。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5Shrwwimz
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWRIwUemWY
於是我在車站冷冰冰的塑膠椅上，用極為平淡的語氣對還是國中生的他說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoSv98nIWS
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0OktaulHq
「嗯⋯⋯從妳的角度來看，待在家裡確實是很痛苦吧。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZklebSQtU
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQBtY5Ifao
我沒有說話，於是他繼續說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHF8o2cK2po
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOmkAM7WDG
「我希望妳能快樂。當然，我也希望爸爸媽媽快樂⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯怎麼辦呢？」他笑著對我說。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGJyrsN5TZ
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxWC5S8Mek
那時的我沒有意識到，他的笑之後有著多麼巨大的重量。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bGKtnAy6v
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63g754IY69
也許因為我，他時時刻刻對自己的存在感到矛盾。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡae7uzU9ZwO
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jM2UfTdlA
但我被自己的夢想遮住了耳，沒能聽出他的求救。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOu7XdBLmx
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQ15cC9uH9
「謝嘍。」搔搔他的頭，我抱住他瘦小的身軀。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutidpTJuko
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXs5h99mbd
「姊⋯⋯早點回來噢。不要餓到肚子。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2i0BUevlp
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQu15AcTSxy
「嗯，你也是。」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMwz7QwsdI
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHIZpBi7ZF
我記得，那個冬天，台北第一次下了雪。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQXfc4YGgz
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDVOaujCKS
雖然是很少、很細的冰線，但那確實，是貨真價實的雪。109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8T1jPaHpW
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Di6BRfobl
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh66lRdiPIk
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMSe4gz3Cj
「小舫姐⋯⋯這個算是小說學術類還是偉人自傳啊？」109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZwtie0Xui
109Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUp7rSZE5Aa
「嗯？我看看噢。」
Penana
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