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Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMK5bm8jPV
Too steady.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDGSRusZq2
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHTOfw5Mxn
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GUGV1guTa
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioZJZf0Rkd
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJarlATk90L
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3iPvuzfOv
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPA1veVn8EH
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6sUHy70I7
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She didn’t blink.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxgFLRD3FX
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“Tell me again.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkucqNV6s3a
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsTqjIm6k8
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJrsy0Fe7P
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“Play that.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUmXmkdWku
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I hesitated.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnF7zG318j
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“Play. It.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpclEcov9YG
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3WiAp6G3c
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpZWXhR1Sq
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1nLhJNkQh
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Then laughter.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKOYMjsgc1
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTa3BGRfb0D
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yBLxIOnEq
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And me again.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHHpInb3AO
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8MNaoe0QF
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAQjU0WDix
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67FZyaDkLE
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bHMsuNk5i
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNjzy5gNeB
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZuN4rjqtb
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1X2OCfzbGO
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNT93uv1TJR
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzg51mbeIPw
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPgUqDES8t
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLa0cwOqPW
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jty96xerQ
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJx7ITQWvA
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dHyv6eAhA
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhvFpNWj7d
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“I love you, Nova.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFvbUnY761
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhvKlnIV3C
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1DERf1gYP
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQVxBDcuTt
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqLMjTqDOk
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The silence hit harder than any slap.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9ZxbfQL6X
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gb7slHOXD
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiU9aKQau3Y
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Door slammed.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzKzP62fg7
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIC1te2DPr
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Not the one on the tape.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvJOXFfmbb
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The one that finally decided she was done.
