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Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yrprnBZCt
Too steady.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfDRx0VETM
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyrtMs5lRR
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHli1cSkhF
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdaXM7xn0j
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNiH6w3zLJ
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYD1ZOCYt6
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96YqSXcNts
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0bzhsY9Zd
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She didn’t blink.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0GV1VsxQu
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“Tell me again.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UV8CFbbQn
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCxGHgeJCU
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZXgSJL5MX
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“Play that.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbb0ccWYVQ
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I hesitated.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiYScnOw10
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“Play. It.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeg08bwenX
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQTfdtd4iV
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpb6or9XWK
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMdnr8NM6e
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Then laughter.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcy6LsJxxw
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtrfIOlZln
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwGkjCknPs
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And me again.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmosJZifo9X
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPqwgbePaS
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOWcfyth3R
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzt2KUJwnu
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvLbkFarUu
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNzpTzqgeK
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhH8YgNGvhj
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDCoBYS5fJ
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGm6P7C7201
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJ95lju5Eq
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwakqGL8V7
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhvQ0cNebR
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡle21l7XkvZ
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluySjXk8RA
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZdphXUCJD
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KiTBhqPnS
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“I love you, Nova.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQK9Z3SArc
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0H4Bd7Ydiq
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61Q6ofR5MA
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo98bcAZEyU
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNX8FLvxtc5
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The silence hit harder than any slap.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BsJrTPBE3
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXsOV5ZKIE
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfXx7AOduT
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Door slammed.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5puSki5Xbu
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZ9JrmSFZG
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Not the one on the tape.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclpCruV5tm
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The one that finally decided she was done.
