I feel like I've aged a hundred years. Lao'k's memories are so long, so depressing and filled with conflict sometimes it's like watching the vids about the 2030 wars. I spent a week in his mind. The meditative sleep he taught me is impressive, physically my body is well rested, doesn't feel like I've missed a night's sleep. But I did feel a bit mentally sluggish by the third day; the stimulant I took kept me up for two days, I swore the walls were moving and talking. It felt like I had sprained my brain. Every time we spoke telepathically there was a piercing pain in the center of my head followed by a rush of fluid. Just thinking alone, I could feel the veins in my head pulsing and hear my heart throbbing in my ears.
Pain killers weren't helping. So I tried a muscle relaxant, that was no help either. We stopped communicating telepathically; despite his reluctance he ended up teaching me how to block out others. I also got out of his mind. Not touching his mind grieved me, like when my cat Holisaur died. I kept reaching for him even though it was painful.
The day the stimulant wore off, he let me lie in his lap on the floor of the viewing room. Captain Ruiz voiced his complaint but I was too tired to care, and Lao'k ignored him. Lao'k's thighs are so muscular, it was like resting my head against the floor itself; not that I mind, I've slept on the floor before during harvesting seasons. The floor was cold, but his body gave off so much warmth it was comforting. I fell asleep to him massaging my scalp and humming a tune his mother used to put them to sleep. When I woke up the pulsing and throbbing in my head had calmed, but the sharp skull splitting pain whenever I tried connecting with him was still there.
"Hello Beautiful."
"You're always calling me beautiful."
"Because you are."
"I'm not beautiful. I have my days, angles and moments, but I'm not all-round beautiful."
"To me you are."
"Your opinion is biased."
"It's the only one that matters."
I couldn't counter him, if we were normal dating people that might have made my day. I should trust him more now I know so much about him. But I feel like I'm hitting against a wall when I try to.
"Lao'k, I know this must be annoying for you, sometimes if feels like I take a step forward and ten back."
"You're cautious, I'm not just a new man in your life. You still see me as the alien who fell from the sky claiming you as his wife. The current situation between you and Kishna has also made you feel vulnerable.
"Yeah..."
"Don't worry, every ten steps back we take, our next step forward is more grounded."
"I'm frustrating you are I?"
"A little. But compared to the time I spent without you, our back and forth is bliss. Let me be your friend Alei."
"Friend zoning yourself. I thought you were supposed to be my husband."
"I seek to be the only man you trust completely. More than you did Kishna."
I wanted to be in his mind again, but since my pains hadn't stopped I went to the infirmary. The doc scanned my head and said my Hippocampi were enlarged compared to my last checkup and my Thalamus was swollen. He did a blood test and frowned on my use of the stimulant. Lao'k also asked Mal'k to send their physician, to Ruiz's annoyance. He said the swelling and enlargement should be fine; since humans didn't use the Thalamus and Hippocami the way Alythes did ours was smaller. But I've been running mine on overdrive, so they're growing and tired.
He gave me one of their relaxants, but our doc was against it, and they got into a fight over right of expertise. Then their physician just backed down, I assumed Mal'k spoke to him. He said if I wished to take the relaxant it was up to me and left. Our doc insisted on analysing it and running simulations based of my DNA and blood. I let him have his way. Then the thought occurred to me, I hadn't see Lao'k eat our food. They had drunk our alcohol at the first meeting, I don't even know how that affected them. Are our parts down there even compatible? Will I have to get augmented? Lao'k laughed, I thought I had missed something but he was laughing at me.
"Silly, our physical forms are near identical. Based on our scans, its probable our species are compatible. You have been in my mind, you have seen my naked body."
"I skipped over the bits where you were naked."
"I haven't."
I blushed. He knew what I looked like naked. He really was taking the 'nothing to hide' seriously. I stepped away from him, I felt exposed. I thought of the moles on my breasts and the raised scar across my torso. More things that made me ugly. He stepped closer, and whispered in my ear as he built images in my mind.
"I love your twin moles, they are the eyes of your breasts looking up at me when we copulate. The scar is the path I follow with my fingers and tongue on my way to your breasts."
I pushed at the wall of his chest and stepped back. I was flushed, lost control of my breathing.
"Do you only ever think of that?!"
"Little else is worth thinking about."
"How about us on a dinner date or watching a movie or something."
"My greatest joy will be in having you."
"You promised not to manipulate me."
"I am not, I am showing you how beautiful you are to me."
The doc didn't find anything potentially dangerous with the Alythe relaxant, but he advised against taking it, Ruiz too. Instead he gave me a double dose of muscle relaxant, which put me out for almost a day. When I awoke it was just past noon, Lao'k was near the bed, his hand in my hair. I tried to connect with him again but the pain was still there, only less piercing.
"Good morning beautiful."
"Morning."
"Stop trying to touch my mind, we'll have plenty of time when you recover."
"I can't help it. I miss that feeling of completeness, and the calmness of your mind. Where's Ruiz?"
"Somewhere."
"You teleported into my room didn't you. Did you run into Kishna?"
"Get dressed and get your meal. I will wait for you in the viewing room."
He left without letting me protest. Ruiz was outside the door already waiting and very angry, he talked Lao'k's ear off as they walked down the hall. I didn't want to leave the bed yet, but managed to drag myself out of bed then eventually to the common area. As I stood in line to use the ration dispenser, I overheard some of the gossip. People were speculating whether; Lao'k and I had already slept together; I was still human; I was a spy for the aliens. Someone even thought Kishna and I were married, that I left him for Lao'k.
In the midst of that noise, Alyssa approached me like we were bosom buddies. I entertained her, I'd hoped to use her for information or at least to steer interest away from Lao'k. She was making things difficult, as she kept directing the conversation back to Lao'k or the other Alythes. I eventually kept her in a loop she got tired of and left well enough alone.
My curiosity got the better of me though, I tried listening to the noise on the common channel. Worst mistake I've made in a while. There were so many thoughts it overwhelmed me, the pain at the center of my head felt like miniature explosions, a rush of fluid over my brain and then everything went blindingly white. I shut my eyes to cut off the brightness, it helped a little. When I tried opening my eyes again I couldn't. Not that my eyes wouldn't open, rather the blinding whiteness was still there. My eyes burned and teared. Christ have I gone blind?
I was beginning to lose my sense of direction, I got the sensation of being spun about rapidly. I knew I was still in the rations line, the person behind me was fussing. I tried to remember what my immediate surroundings were like, then stepped out the line. Instead, I was pulled into Lao'k's embrace. He cradled my head to his chest.
"Silly girl, are you a lover of pain?"
"I am not. I can't open my eyes."
"I know, let us go to the infirmary."
He took my hand and led me through the; crowd; hallways; stairs and the elevator. He didn't say word the entire time and I didn't know what to say other than sorry, so I stayed quiet. It was disorienting, walking through the ship with my eyes closed. I still felt like I was being spun about, but Lao'k's hand was an anchor, so at least I didn't tip over. I tried to focus on the path we were taking to the infirmary. For a while I swore I was out of my body, I could see us walking through the ship in third person, knew the precise moment to turn for a corner or tilt my head away from the overhead conduit. It was surreal. Then he just stopped suddenly and I stepped into his wings.
"Ow."
"Stop doing that!"
"Doing what?"
"Letting your consciousness wander. In your current state, I might not be able to bring you back."
My pride was hurt, not by what he'd said, rather how he said it. The anguish in his voice stuck with me, I felt like a child being told for the umpteenth time not to leave the yard when playing. We got to the infirmary without another word or incident. The doc was not happy to see us again so soon. When I told him what happened, he said I was lucky and that the blindness was temporary. The scans showed I had bleeding in my brain, which he said caused photophobia -sensitivity to light. He said I needed more rest and gave me another dose of relaxant.
Lao'k had said nothing while we were at the infirmary, he was silent on the walk back to my quarters too. The only time he spoke was to tell the Captain I hadn't eaten yet and needed my lunch ration. Ruiz didn't leave us alone, he called someone on comm and sent them for the ration, the three of us stayed in the room in awkward silence. It was difficult keeping my eyes closed, I thought of checking my luggage for a bandanna; Lao'k got there before me and wrapped it about my eyes. Nothing else happened between us. I ate my ration, took the relaxant and he kissed my forehead before leaving.
The next morning I woke up perfectly fine. I could see again, in fact my vision was sharper than before. When I slipped into Lao'k's mind there was no pain. I admit, I was a bit hesitant at first because of what happened yesterday, but my need to touch him was stronger. He seemed fine, like yesterday's awkward silence didn't happen. Sure I can read his mind, but I have no idea what's going on with him, things just roll off him like water on a hydrophobic surface. No one can be that unaffected.
Unfortunately my morning rendezvous with Lao'k and Ruiz was interrupted my none other than Mr. Klein. He was upset and demanded a few minutes of my time. This should be fun.61Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJP9tsmDd2
