「去哪？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB92ZuWb0Dc
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1aUh8WZDz
「急事。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhljnAXLXJ
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOVbanLPj4
「你不吃晚餐？」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAXLEjqD3I
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxA2Bia5pV
我沒應答，逕自出門。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnBXndepNH
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfc7Tzpz5f
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfpQPcMbvN
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9Tb46iWdd
難以言喻的鬱悶。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPMx6BJqN1
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1rxC65NU2
長嘆。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7h0HnrwBW
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95yYFiYnWc
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6t0jCkt3m
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyt924BzFQ
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNR5saBt1ww
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oqE0ArglU
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlYQn1pDHu
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcFugsFWEA
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLW4cg4L2K
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gkun4qFka
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdOpQ22UAX
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6yHQ1JicP
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnowpdVpjWO
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5KPC2NLRo
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFibuMtyrUw
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2N0f7BBnPH
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQAJpbC2AP
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFmj8UDk9Z
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡev9oxJLErg
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitOGV5aK5q
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbU3njC4RxZ
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNcV6Q2Syr
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgts0fsBl8
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqST5y2WH4
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGPYTNvDmC
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOT9L9LrPV
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaox3jh8IBX
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJBUPMm5yY
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2knFmDWP4
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaH8TiOheSb
註定的。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUE5NlykmVY
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvM4m042hhX
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2WVFoZZpL
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjagKUr4Yc
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKH0dN2ALH
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoABhkqdpDb
停步。猶疑。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNN6PWNsOG5
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGXOF2aRzc
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Hp5J7wd3t
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTWxJuOO6h
轉身。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRDanZZltn
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbrrdFJxmH
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLfjmE2F5M
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ub8w2eh5H
我回身走去。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5ahqQ89l2
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq09HVFTkSX
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCU0f09Ikzi
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpL1L02D5fI
把小狗抱入懷內。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifxtZZotzM
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6r6IFQOUs
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4SJWcX9wF
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7WJJm8QXL
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrLqnVGMbH
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0BJ9dFGe2
海風？海濱公園步道？406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS4uWXd5k2
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8y1YT9C16O
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyW0Glty7K
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFpDwBamcm
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyPVszymCp
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxem7TXGfE3
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWjcEsxO2I
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFypb8CWOw1
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡml5Dc2ulRE
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCClCcL8foM
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoZN5Au9Vb
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhC1cTMrZR2
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPifJMdAYy
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowQ5nMoq01
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyTXEUsheR
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxg9NUyEDyf
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquKISAb2ep
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWbRshCvx9
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQQNqtKjyj
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDAUgVFY9P
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAqFnawnHV
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jOeADg3Bx
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqeFgM6mmG
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwP6mOSMJEt
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1NqiUfQHD
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kfEzFSNFi
鬱悶何來？406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4XMBq5eSB
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYl54JXjK4x
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBF7PovOp6
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgoU26LgyZ
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeph9yV8gm
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4htFq3xTcj
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYZefdzGUC
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMTjly3Mcl
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMoUV4Vllb
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXIMoNhpdw
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQad9AQ64YG
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX88lkZh0BV
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YUyZAHsBr
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZXDAKtbJi
然後呢？根本沒有然後。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQB7DUJJt9
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZisDWiKXry
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbUdUI5jzG
406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHt34JtZqzr
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。406Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspDioJtbyU
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.251da2
