「去哪？」408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0MQ5WYabl
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJucRwKkfh4
「急事。」408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYsKnZ2K81
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cB9tzFO6N
「你不吃晚餐？」408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYh9l7QZyE
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXe9HlhUnD6
我沒應答，逕自出門。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWdr1h58np
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxnz8I8Oj1
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ511vbeFzYA
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQo2aZVjtXJ
難以言喻的鬱悶。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcw2v5nyob
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJae5KbyvlS
長嘆。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlo8bneE7M
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFv6vnbigh
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpKJCV2tI9
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDwcB7rH0n
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cYl2JwKrC
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuL9d6Nfe2
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIjweybvxN
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1dJ7Zvw7r
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCc7igksfN
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRngpAorEz8
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZsokP2ACJ
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8NTR1xDES
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lmfjzlcV4
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWJPRWN1B1
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡct9k0RVwMN
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdGEEebIMM
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZDFfV8xcr
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjUXYO3R9d
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uhLDpC4Yt
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVzWUX2uvG
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcdkE0xt7x
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3jpoyGgvz
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rLsXyJrc8
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoI61uC6F2C
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMBLMJg0KG
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvRzDApOtH
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWrA2s9tCh
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoAwUnCXJs
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjl6aODUSU0
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ofm9h1euh
註定的。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoI6eddMUUQ
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KTLwJCRyE
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnp5zv5oJPO
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbIpk2QXQE
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eWyqiXRZo
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbRe4nTzZX
停步。猶疑。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7P2X0uwDz
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEj2T8C5aF
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjX2mfLLY6d
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbchxzzWdz
轉身。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgf9fIbdcQ
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p7HYTgTM7
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCiVd5KFAz
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQQnjPD7wg
我回身走去。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnqGmLmdBx
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElNFS2V7dM
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfXR7qiPHQ
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMT0PfVbFs3
把小狗抱入懷內。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Sh7JA8LGE
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvreRmoHil
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVg43Lb2pW
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHj0wMzamC
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡju8enPD1Id
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4FD0VbFkY
海風？海濱公園步道？408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqrRpeIHeT
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxgEThcEGF
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YFO5ZE0rg
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEjBbOyoHb
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1n9oB9nyB
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5F31QR3ER
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlQEHDC4f7
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeegVlFaQAU
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPYEtesXXN
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0lWsflGEg
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zSr17yRDU
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnwwKCdlro
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBF1IAirgE9
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAc2fJFd9w
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4yFzJy1q9
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRP6cDogWng
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUrgFzAeP2
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXWvvhh1U9
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIORlj3af8
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRQoTPARhN
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFZDlRg5eD
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEg3AImRyeh
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uMbWJwqjk
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKX21qSkAA
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGE1vKU1X9E
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeI7xK6xUAE
鬱悶何來？408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAnOY42eP3
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDeWAX0L4M
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bPpGMtpqj
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuEtZgRrub
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2QbhwCRnO
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxfsE10hw3
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyp42jJV8yX
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9G284auYzP
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2e449JxGQm
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsajbeK3PY
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdngPH6MQe
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8B8eeFblw
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOKvWtPTBU
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlUDxXNXu2
然後呢？根本沒有然後。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP91InOEYcd
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLboMIwjn9
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd12Exa2gMH
408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGrY6m2PI2
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。408Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejXZEMPXkE
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.251da2
