「去哪？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtoaRrIfp0
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbr4xDyfGg
「急事。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLclC35EbR
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpz2nPUzjf
「你不吃晚餐？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaxhgbCoxM
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QrrsCnYeb
我沒應答，逕自出門。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsRl91kf01
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdT6TtQOhll
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JHF0q5Vm7
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ebJJQUAol
難以言喻的鬱悶。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcPYrUD322
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFZ6qeLTsp
長嘆。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Q5PJa9P6J
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvejoXrqoYv
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69xp8V46lD
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQGQXaS1JP
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJ08xjNFS9
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hsbKKuYTl
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5fiBBIybR
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLgCdmkv9A
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZAtPYiK5p
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKM03fjI16
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRI8QQmjiD
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnY2XUmAXy
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bBWOSrk4L
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvxc4UyHoT
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqkSqrucg1
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcvLcKjQX2
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3EdFKYQ1Q
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91yt0TYQQP
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoe1x4iUhT5
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZl6TxMNbGv
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqSnFsbWpb
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GgxflL5pP
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsQV7GBB16
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bm4EM2qkp
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCb7j2EgGI
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJQuMAButK
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PQff2PG1G
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqa9CLSYoDR
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWiPNQz5Mh
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyeau2MOJL
註定的。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6BpuFg2EL
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYcvcgyb2u
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8Aht8E3kv
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKHmblGGZK
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68jAH7at6S
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlREkic0qR
停步。猶疑。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMk7xh89SOU
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6S322diLm
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxn6dwBXQr
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiy3M9MsB7R
轉身。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYH2fgOI3U
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrDQJRt0ea
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaIDSHR0XP
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszEX7zON0d
我回身走去。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmLqTlyaAH
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPANcEM4nfs
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiorPHIVtxT
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNf7TnIeZ3d
把小狗抱入懷內。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xSpsfOHr7
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBfR5Ea2AT
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRK3IwNIP5
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF24kQda6g0
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnen1vJeUBa
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYhuvYUHWn
海風？海濱公園步道？414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWadd3D3dKL
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllWeu48dbW
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPpELobUoo
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsd80FbQiC
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAfuEMWEJW
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsTByrbTNd
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qVJIw0oLc
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUb0QR9SgW8
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxll4zligb4
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1mi9gV6vQ
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8MhfT3v4V
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXS1ImhtQbm
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRfjoRdtze
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjcptosxwe
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLrTKdGN6P
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqHf5zrxny
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjBiaNlWQ7
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoehzOZB5dL
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEvvAvBdQI
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloqueUAqvH
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eyLjRT0eJ
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QMz3fCXDO
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbb2miZVHh
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhtLSgqbua
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhr9o601gb
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltHTJTAFAt
鬱悶何來？414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhsQ9FDuUp
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisEqvKDH6e
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsY3SP3lXlB
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRfADllokr
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmM9P5oTgL5
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwW44GdzWF0
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMv9g2jHNr
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCA5uj6BOXb
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsWqPFOtZv
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoM4kspj2G
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWyVhTakV8
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEYy5Ygs0d
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTtXZktPdi
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Z7cXOx8nm
然後呢？根本沒有然後。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAFCP1EJ0Z
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUGIkpYMoj
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0r0ctNcgp
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NQLoN7Uz1
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EZvuLhyaE
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.79da2
