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「去哪？」351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp24Skfqqrn
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbPhWyk7XO
「急事。」351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUsMkCcVCm
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNKYpby17r
「你不吃晚餐？」351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUnC4OUSew
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdeExqTEqX
我沒應答，逕自出門。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJtk6oY6gD
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45ej8SPZWV
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gvqBEi1n3
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNbicajn0M
難以言喻的鬱悶。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAl0nRtINFq
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEHQB9CgxH
長嘆。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UopTNYbWI
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXb9FSiuQMA
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vLU564REV
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmepV9DY57
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBr2w87k5N
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡic941FcvFI
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgfxlBQKh8
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8skwstxSdA
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9olhEAh2e
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnnhtCOmV3
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVgJfwuYWT
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0fU8hkEkm
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKZEFktl0k
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1cvjLk0w7
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqhQtyrUH9
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7eVXOS3oz
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTRheM6v5G
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqmQH3qfTM
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGANHG94pl
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiG9eXbYcx
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡen6gznwH6M
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxqhytQahC
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO21njnC8hB
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUc7M0tYmj
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsCYA7d06I
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDX0Pgzr0K4
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vgX8gdWQt
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdg1TuZkhxJ
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcqsPzZ4lS
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAdxroYgdP
註定的。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTilHBb8kC
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxUF8BUwa4
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSoIYBYtDW
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvMv74GJP9
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bGzSCPkwF
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhk6IYFA0rZ
停步。猶疑。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNFSE8PkOp
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jzmF7HvUx
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1TxkMRD8Y
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb65Npne3p6
轉身。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzk0nz7Xdq
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpK7znRYUhp
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTuumVKE4q
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCg6MSWoQJ
我回身走去。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNv0LfTPo3G
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODC8ccW5kb
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryRTaqA2WE
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhM0DJaqfe3
把小狗抱入懷內。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzinJwsnRt
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AOG2SHZEC
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdrc0rQWwz
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1s7jJRs9D
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyKgqsLFro
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8U1TgO9wN2
海風？海濱公園步道？351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEmMpOGogF
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlI8u3pmJa6
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17jO1yyHmX
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLz7Do3hu7
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMedsKK2dUr
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuxymMhKcx
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8n8ZegAOM
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3f9nJpYKBs
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EyTgK19Jk
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsFsstjIGA
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGkbROQGef
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5S8wvWpx1
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAYtcgaVeq
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoHjCnltMS
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlm4MCybSGU
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNubWlyNQy
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZQcjqWvS0
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFftwD2NULu
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oCv5Tp3rS
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fKV2J2Zks
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbypVTWiGK7
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJNxbN4R03
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jjXeDIi7y
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeClHemeDbk
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4fu95JU7X
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsio4HFofQ
鬱悶何來？351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXK2oW3vTj
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquKGBG2oXt
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1s0kYFJfiA
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3EzGRz7nn
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5qJ6nNG1F
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbC14bPpdZ
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvc2psd9DCt
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSe7mUEQ34
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fQFhlpZmb
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1poB7zfHn
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfQdzsNQkI
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvl0HDRY0Aj
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hK85VyWEk
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XIxrGJA44
然後呢？根本沒有然後。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNUzz1n9kw
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UrvLjcOyk
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UeUP29VZg
351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsH9PMgu4T
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。351Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEEtlt5I5E
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.225da2
