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「去哪？」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCkMwGGCSK
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFsA3gTnOz
「急事。」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmaTqsWj6B
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbW3x5mhGex
「你不吃晚餐？」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqZlE8jeik
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIROQzWrsLC
我沒應答，逕自出門。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5dhRRNHT8
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ489dYOpatT
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURtpG95WMu
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bF6XDCyBf
難以言喻的鬱悶。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWKdAZ1lxU
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmNXWl8JZ3
長嘆。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡED1R3wC8iM
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMm9ZH6plsC
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWm02fXTasx
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UxH6qN4SA
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBDehWG77D
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6ZBMCbleG
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0Cqn6mM8U
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrc8tXu3Ab
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLe9GoZgyAs
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Vn9HDxFPI
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdbqORk18N
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAU07K5DK08
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0WaxqrchU
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHkkhLDNtv
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83xG5xEzhK
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YyBDjmFLC
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6meS9JSht
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAznqcwvrBl
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYP16wWNh7
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAGYLvZbXr
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAl4nmHlfeE
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrF5cAtjgZF
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRRqUDjADp
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBBTxaHast
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpr1ZMN9oV
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMP1Tkt81Xz
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJeJkb99XP
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZFrb9w6fG
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pTWYY8BMl
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncPvJbwzr9
註定的。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzqA8t7hJ7
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuNtmozb9D
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvOqlOqSFz
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aJWaTAqRY
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMk6ZW1ZPbN
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7X5M6YTg9
停步。猶疑。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTihIRiNmm
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXepWnBpV4E
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmA1LsR7HJl
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0r3CB5MYK
轉身。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJ04jO0IfU
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSi7mV9EbYz
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GPsWKl8wa
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJAIiYbkoh
我回身走去。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEh7GuujNki
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMA4CiGkder
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWfxaxBWSj
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoK6TWxxm6M
把小狗抱入懷內。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxl2Og4k6U
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1jzHeoiLD
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYHUvNyyVW
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczSo5zXLjv
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YOUT5NNBV
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGDncL4i33
海風？海濱公園步道？395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCejtn7Bo9
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaPGCNwxRl
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSA5bMn1eX
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyWXFTgtWI
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyELjJQeI3P
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqP7P5vLGRo
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWg5MxJseDw
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0joRLxS1ZR
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL41rTrroVt
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrP8quVz0t
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjhwXLmZ5J
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG31K6QSmDQ
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVa5OdF1TJS
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8NQTNblCj
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQObiCClIY
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtX64uVoXz
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4v58Ts873R
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSWG1QyXGo
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPdOxPDvmE
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIJAkNIsV0
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrhknjvs3e
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA72DUnSjcR
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqkofdFKa0
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7gUGbLuNa
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXMqU5tpyM
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37PFPQDRqr
鬱悶何來？395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuVu7Vip6q
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XW57yjKxj
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKltv8oKBK
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNnsduDrHW
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUsXque1ia
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbBzCFPVmK
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCdV24601K
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSvsFIHj7D
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaFTDESF6N
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ctn3YJKOL
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WfsYEhQVV
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJffJ2LrK5
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBcM5YBlRu
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRORKeGmVcg
然後呢？根本沒有然後。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ohIzfbhBY
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XITKxuElg
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2pT9rFy9h
395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtPJoVUY9u
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。395Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSoLbQ7Tg1
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
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