Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKcvZtK8dK
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To lift his spirits.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafaH4Uw3k6
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjjz0Kiw4e
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Claude.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgr8d7jrBe
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkVW93gKSI
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Demeter wasn't working.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7ef7nobd7
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7AE9OO6ug
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDf1b1YHig3
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyAJsi4dv7
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...555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRp8nYoHPWP
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"Bison."555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZF7ge3qzB
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Bread is like the sun.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESZAoZ9cga
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59DbyFDDx9
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GxTtQENhe
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDkMlUmGwz
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Its butt.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslCTsKXIww
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULQo8I0pCq
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yAioU7r4O
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First, a tractor.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfZq43MeIg
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3NjhprrsI
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Gravy.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLahx597ZD
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4GnriTNJJ
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Now he's a rockstar.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fiyDXgVcz
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFsGuoJI96
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Do trees poop?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwO3WyaCRUw
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQ97ohMkgE
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIuL3Q76zX
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJM1yfEnDnV
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSn16yawDm
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She couldn't control her pupils.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbFjuE9qGn
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What do peppers do when they're angry?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEROYV7loRU
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...555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkq3blGv0f
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They get jalapeño face.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWThLRGaR2
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Today someone told me I am average.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7hiyDbpRd
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...555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTRJrm4WSY
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I told them that's just mean.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dGLaiCAoj
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KDWRTwUrW
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Pointless.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbg4I7GjVz
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡio3BtTFhwJ
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQ53KJYA94
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...555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXj7KWxatdT
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMpuIHKCzR
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NELY1jYQo
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I tried yesterday but I mist.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMHle7isxN
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMp3BCvlcu0
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTJR3Z6fmE
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPex5P1gbq
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwPn5ZfbNe
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What has four wheels and flies?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPBW6WkxJI
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A garbage truck.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkeh3Cm08G
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3O2dcGluBO
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...so I pushed her over.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfe9s3kDtYx
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKDgMCSaok
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.555Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFh4khVQPN
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
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