Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VxQvnAI9y
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To lift his spirits.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5kUFr98Id
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFn15Vgg4d
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Claude.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PB3BO7xE4
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogiHu2DSfF
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Demeter wasn't working.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoX8J78k6p
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNaV1nwhE1
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYUYrJXtKp
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2NVYKDJtf
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...542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mQ972nKAi
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"Bison."542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbwvhxJTDo
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Bread is like the sun.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoLJvAlubn
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SxBmt6Y9V
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOzvHvGt6a
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5TwDvGgCL
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...542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KHX6knbFb
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Its butt.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85mJ9ojCcU
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3pjX6Qo5y
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw20fN0VTui
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First, a tractor.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQJ1pNeaDI
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSYwKgHihD
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Gravy.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FBFgwBDpB
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRccvCM41z
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Now he's a rockstar.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1B4CL35Um
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9duYTVJOb
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Do trees poop?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRV7phiPYZ
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYetlkeaIUz
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5ajAAPnQy
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...542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4gOcXQ7T6
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxVskhNlNW
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKuF2LAmdm
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She couldn't control her pupils.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Fo7Gj0jSj
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What do peppers do when they're angry?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbk6WaInME
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...542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIim3XFax30
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They get jalapeño face.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrrpOuPmta
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Today someone told me I am average.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHQvESYfVx
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I told them that's just mean.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sXlgPPqQ7
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwy2vKlDiT
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Pointless.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEiPcztabq
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxrla6Kk7V
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFSKLmtlU9
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QVj7NjJZv
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTU7DfuqyhC
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I tried yesterday but I mist.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqnbdHPZUA
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRFP3nPIbc
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtQn4m879K
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yjsIFgWcf
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRLWqWN8BE
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What has four wheels and flies?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Bh23R4YqP
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A garbage truck.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypnnRjUXRc
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLbyzWOLTj
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...so I pushed her over.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvyQhFvTkL
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5zxLv1gQq
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1Oe7LUmsk
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
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