Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIF1zEudi2
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To lift his spirits.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYd2ZRs3tg
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaJR8iVf7I
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Claude.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxomTjcGcLP
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6s2nXSiX8c
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Demeter wasn't working.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3y2EJjnGk
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqqA6ezvyF
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqCHyytK4q
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqtyYjycbe
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"Bison."483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMchpfPAJr
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Bread is like the sun.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQPq50DIdJ
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5M758rc7QK
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcxQEanAd5
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZsPZU9R9c
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Its butt.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSSqjQQAEE
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCOhTpwVny
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ndNpCPsIo
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First, a tractor.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wcEzyvD8D
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCJ3HIIWPF
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Gravy.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEBPE2WKs8
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0nCbmygvL
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Now he's a rockstar.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqI1jYzyVCN
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcU7GrepYYE
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Do trees poop?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjj6KPszLp
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RVCWdDaRm
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FSMGc6y7G
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lWPq9pP6p
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDeKYofdvq
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She couldn't control her pupils.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvm92G60IxJ
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What do peppers do when they're angry?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTVj4lMAjS
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...483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHttDAQCUSD
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They get jalapeño face.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnwMh3lf8Q
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Today someone told me I am average.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIA4zbU4tS
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I told them that's just mean.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qTabj9hz9
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1eKVAY8gH
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Pointless.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RyIu8NM73
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKogIyXOqlM
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8i6JxQ6HNQ
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinsIF110mz
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyUwtyHkMv
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I tried yesterday but I mist.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6o3w9tKhV
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoG9Q8spK6
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEloGuvZkZ
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74qHeW04q1
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6KRjWV4bm
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What has four wheels and flies?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5KqVVgxn5
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A garbage truck.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uvR0bgOGs
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfAcwknT96
483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVecvdWZhjc
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...so I pushed her over.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsuOrfisNn
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aSzFH6OZf
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTomgZfLelp
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483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaIXbE8Llg
Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns3.145.105.194da2
