「你還可以嗎?」528Please respect copyright.PENANAljsXaR5zde
528Please respect copyright.PENANAOrl83TwfHN
「無法不可以。」528Please respect copyright.PENANAkA3GBSxHE9
528Please respect copyright.PENANA47sgfzgai9
「如需幫忙,來找我吧。」528Please respect copyright.PENANAtD0Gs6muwo
528Please respect copyright.PENANAHJVmN2LXLg
「謝謝你。」528Please respect copyright.PENANA4kPbr8LlSP
528Please respect copyright.PENANAkjeuzWV6we
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯,概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱,一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙,我除了感激,更多的是恥感。528Please respect copyright.PENANAO8zSdxSGfu
528Please respect copyright.PENANAUZu1TPeCQj
唉!多講無謂,反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。528Please respect copyright.PENANAsxiK4qqv5k
528Please respect copyright.PENANAz56fMfnlP1
疫情關係,全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子,早已節衣縮食,積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著:工作日數減半意味薪金減半。528Please respect copyright.PENANAsTMJrVZM3d
528Please respect copyright.PENANAoHnZGdwCTu
供樓開支無法削減,父母醫療開支不能削,孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……528Please respect copyright.PENANAGarnhmRX7J
528Please respect copyright.PENANAwSwoL4MwA2
飯後,兩老早睡,兒女溫習,妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。528Please respect copyright.PENANAMRQBV7DyHX
528Please respect copyright.PENANADaIJPxRAMe
「老婆……」528Please respect copyright.PENANAV702qwE9yF
528Please respect copyright.PENANA6hgeU2ORKU
「有困難?金錢?」528Please respect copyright.PENANAKM9JNzL6tR
528Please respect copyright.PENANAvXtDk59ii4
妻子搶佔發言先機,內心不安的我更覺虛怯。528Please respect copyright.PENANA60uwNjqKya
528Please respect copyright.PENANAAnwfHzxYn0
「是。明天開始,只需星期二、四上班。」528Please respect copyright.PENANAaimxGFNRfJ
528Please respect copyright.PENANAzE81TaIYLu
「嗯。」528Please respect copyright.PENANAmik03Zufry
528Please respect copyright.PENANAZNLdOPGUq0
妻子沒再多話,專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外,卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實,也就只得接受和硬撐,呼天搶地無補於事。528Please respect copyright.PENANACgdhf6cDbJ
528Please respect copyright.PENANAkJcNe7XCMq
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。528Please respect copyright.PENANAGhUwryxbPY
528Please respect copyright.PENANAKOZxtF0CKU
無能。無力。無奈。528Please respect copyright.PENANAMwiFxJMLsP
528Please respect copyright.PENANAbz7tMHUkcv
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。528Please respect copyright.PENANAcWwfUzlc5C
528Please respect copyright.PENANAII6QVLtdzU
剪不斷,理還亂。528Please respect copyright.PENANAaIjMuWFsne
528Please respect copyright.PENANA8TTTsH84aD
勿剪,別理。528Please respect copyright.PENANAgyFU4MDeXy
528Please respect copyright.PENANAXibHcHQjKx
待時日將其化解。528Please respect copyright.PENANANL7TAlDO9j
528Please respect copyright.PENANAUmLZe9Wpr1
莫操心。528Please respect copyright.PENANAZ9ntSuvFYq
528Please respect copyright.PENANAP3ovAWFoAa
莫操心?528Please respect copyright.PENANAdssj86TQLd
528Please respect copyright.PENANAs4lDe2lyRt
如何莫操心?528Please respect copyright.PENANAP92m90SQve
528Please respect copyright.PENANAOxLEpYaRCH
我知道困境必定會過去,但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。528Please respect copyright.PENANAR2tlY4vkFl
528Please respect copyright.PENANAIQtqMdkR36
撐多久?如何撐?528Please respect copyright.PENANAo1B6dzWlmR
528Please respect copyright.PENANARa2Ov7nhgd
不知道……528Please respect copyright.PENANApUGiBKZL76
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減,辦公室冷清不少。528Please respect copyright.PENANAT9g8iSsWKx
528Please respect copyright.PENANApgENzend0d
有人若無其事,有人變得寡言,有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何,公司繼續營運,世界繼續運轉。528Please respect copyright.PENANAeZTYYgS8vd
528Please respect copyright.PENANAe1Z8oshBav
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞,骨瘦如柴,神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物,飢腸轆轆。絕望?誰管你的!天地蒼茫,白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在,北極仍是北極,我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。528Please respect copyright.PENANATmbyFy11vm
528Please respect copyright.PENANAVLbawTlwhu
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸,白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯,菜心苦黃,排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧!不了,豉油不是必需品,不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。528Please respect copyright.PENANAR8HvoyLXLT
528Please respect copyright.PENANAWsn1d0hxj4
下班時間,加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量,也不代表工作進度可以放慢。528Please respect copyright.PENANAtHO1WGmQoN
528Please respect copyright.PENANACtCETdNnxx
每次想及時間、日子,位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼:它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了;它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目,接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來;它在教導我人生大道理,一寸光陰一吋金,吋金難買寸光陰,更何況加班沒有加班費……528Please respect copyright.PENANAPLwA5zYjnw
528Please respect copyright.PENANAyFymRzQrMG
關機,正式下班。心情太壞,說服不了自己留下來。回首,同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解,但無法奉陪到底。528Please respect copyright.PENANA4d7LjqGzxN
528Please respect copyright.PENANAhVFVcwrTLR
大街上,人影疏落,商店無燈。車站無人,想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃,在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花,演唱會螢光棒,無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸,床頭小燈,被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控,只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累?是吧。528Please respect copyright.PENANAAbYra1tJmO
528Please respect copyright.PENANAakqCZeAkK1
我笑。528Please respect copyright.PENANAGkhLMmeUaV
528Please respect copyright.PENANArO1BTk0wXM
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。528Please respect copyright.PENANAjb4OTbVyrG
528Please respect copyright.PENANAt4Nmqi6KMC
忽爾不想回家。528Please respect copyright.PENANAnUJ4tfJYmN
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」528Please respect copyright.PENANAN0SrD8IPCI
528Please respect copyright.PENANAIKe8z3HlT7
「好的。」528Please respect copyright.PENANAra6DtKfo54
528Please respect copyright.PENANAenQGbSBLr6
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵,皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥,微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從?是否只得接受?不順從又如何?不接受又如何?528Please respect copyright.PENANAjk2PXn20AR
528Please respect copyright.PENANA7lVvvmsWp6
只會苦了自己。528Please respect copyright.PENANAcnDJ6a7zne
528Please respect copyright.PENANA6ViluqHM4O
努力改變過,極力掙扎過,然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。528Please respect copyright.PENANAdlhif5ymZp
528Please respect copyright.PENANATduiewtv2V
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。528Please respect copyright.PENANAIYcLnfm3DT
528Please respect copyright.PENANAEyHGs6HI89
浴後,睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著,光源自窗外滲入,剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲,以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子,如怪物,如鬼魅。528Please respect copyright.PENANAlKwTJilBBd
528Please respect copyright.PENANAIS1it7Ez4J
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題?」528Please respect copyright.PENANAyignKNK9F2
528Please respect copyright.PENANAHEympPegk1
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」528Please respect copyright.PENANAHSuCD6fMT2
528Please respect copyright.PENANAmZruAk5Xcp
妻子乾笑一聲,側身面窗睡去。528Please respect copyright.PENANAMXbgEwJ4Nq
528Please respect copyright.PENANAdUllI76sIl
我實在笑不出口,呆望天花數蟲子。528Please respect copyright.PENANARBqI86n7EM
528Please respect copyright.PENANAKxuR6LE5Az
一、二、三、四、五……528Please respect copyright.PENANAoVqaiDlvCT
註:528Please respect copyright.PENANABhpsz9Ma1q
528Please respect copyright.PENANA7wGGCKD0Aw
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢?」528Please respect copyright.PENANA1Fi2Q0NUSv
528Please respect copyright.PENANAkW9JuY8axu
我認為大家除了關於物質上(例如金錢、生活質素)、生理上(例如生命、健康)及心理上(安全感、與親友相聚的快樂)的失去,還有自我認同(例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判)的失去。528Please respect copyright.PENANASD8ctw2BQy
528Please respect copyright.PENANASwEti1pA1S
未必關乎大是大非,每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓,足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害?誰知道。528Please respect copyright.PENANApaxopY9qMI
528Please respect copyright.PENANAowSLPM1pxN
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》528Please respect copyright.PENANAhS9DVVvtzz