「你還可以嗎？」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkHXUFGtrf
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmp1fIN3ft
「無法不可以。」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9H1LAu6cs
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QmCZIi8Y5
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1R0Lrq522
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxeGS2WZXm
「謝謝你。」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1E5d9gw0wY
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡis6DXIGa2J
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78APgiFy8Y
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVTIFOf1N4
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWTmDTw8qp
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBfcbNZ19Y
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiXFpgG0If
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe01dQY0eF7
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCKSXvAtoS
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLmaquuMNx
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNFbZckToF
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46IDHZnB4y
「老婆……」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCQ91FpT0k
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrqhKGcjGF
「有困難？金錢？」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5qOyq9Osy
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XAomfzBIi
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdo9I0lbKfE
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJSRpd9yHh
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcemaiWZ1A7
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCVdTJbOSO
「嗯。」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0f7FqU0ohJ
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw46wyrwhKr
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ldBoivffe
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdA7SW24w8
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbT0vS1oHc
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHs7mgmdyLv
無能。無力。無奈。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtk2VmQk6pT
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYBsKNOpPv
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBygSzwUZ92
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8gy2ytDzV
剪不斷，理還亂。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8c0ipYtj0m
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04kxoUro1R
勿剪，別理。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYCUH4opxd
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNS7VPjn22
待時日將其化解。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8DiTJBgcp
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHO4ehMDWB6
莫操心。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDIfDIMDn8
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Vt1exAbDo
莫操心？657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijnbdW3yJL
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxKsSit7ku
如何莫操心？657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xAfFjyMkg
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrDxBSbG2h
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2yJSRZ4nk
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmRABO0qU0
撐多久？如何撐？657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7NrB73jqJ
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHYdtHRdCN
不知道……657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwY4XWYI7Hv
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlosjjvGEJj
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoEiqus68v
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eUnB5HOtc
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSu6ltfd7kB
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31x3vrpii4
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9a7So0AQpK
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9wbT2ggf6
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzmhcjOYqV
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHM1q9I0VO
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwSV5bFJYr
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiS7frFoyx
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcd8OWCo8u0
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnni7CHFPcu
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IZokluECd
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwF8qIPimt
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsBW8By9z1
我笑。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoNcktz1vG
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyer6YChfNq
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjX0FIrsIbj
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCEbvZQauX
忽爾不想回家。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknANaAq7H7
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GW9tQZy7A
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12RydJV1sn
「好的。」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznYv4lWMGp
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ5wXdPZIm
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKu8dNF10y
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ClDoON0lJ
只會苦了自己。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJETbqkLau
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pjbWcV1CS
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOkzXmy2gj
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPxkkSqaEc
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2nO3vxaIF
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12yLhiIUyG
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUw65VSxJv9
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKOAi9t4jg
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayuajeexJq
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBx6JV2jz7
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDJNIw28Ks
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCk2B4DFYZ
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyr5wGvVlu6
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmgyKfiruo
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaCqV7CwJ4
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5FSrasNXX
一、二、三、四、五……657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmI4q7ouCjV
註：657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqMzMKbSv4
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExtelQVbEe
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVYiZmygou
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxg0lEBEmC
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1UIDI0RIc
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUlUBdBSgV
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEt3sQGUS59
657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhHOpUB5sx
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》657Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0MdjKx134
