It was a VERY strong wind that day, and I absolutely swear to god that none of it was my fault. Seriously, guys. It was the WIND that knocked my umbrella into that dork's face. And his coffee fell too, rolling away. I explicitly articulated my most SINCEREST apologies and how I was just as much publicly humiliated as him.
"What is wrong with you-- I'm Gabe by the way--," he took my gloved hand to shake before returning to his nuclear meltdown. "--And what is wrong with you, coming out of nowhere, a ninja slash cat monkey assaulting my vulnerability, battering me to a pulp, leaving me struggling within in an inch of my life. I have asthma, you brute. Precious people like me die from wheezing. How dare you."
"I am MIRANDA," I shrug at Gabe. "Guess I am TOO MUCH of a woman for you."1133Please respect copyright.PENANAS60zbgprrK
1133Please respect copyright.PENANA18EY8zgGC8
With the last word, I STRUT away. A minute later, it grew apparent he won't let that happen. He ran to my side, stammering and BLUBBERING like a fool.1133Please respect copyright.PENANArxaZGLeyKy
1133Please respect copyright.PENANAix7FkcLNQh
"Now, just wait a gosh-darned second here!" Gabe raised a finger. I kept a straight face when inside I just wanted to LOL. "You still owe me coffee-- and for mangling my face-- who knows if I ever see you again."1133Please respect copyright.PENANArnSuvRXVIT
1133Please respect copyright.PENANAMoaV89qMIl
"I did not MANGLE your face! The wind did! Your face is not mangled, your face is perfectly FINE!" I huffed, realizing we stood outside the cafe. "I am being blackmailed and entrapped. I am not okay with it!"1133Please respect copyright.PENANAxbRL3X7JlT
1133Please respect copyright.PENANAhIMrzkUahR
The clouds roared back, and rain shattered. I fought with the umbrella.1133Please respect copyright.PENANAQjPJrqGAu3
1133Please respect copyright.PENANATTVgQJM2N8
"So it's a date!" Gabe shouted over the hysteria. 1133Please respect copyright.PENANAR3ETEsyFb9
1133Please respect copyright.PENANAyV9GKv7VjR
"NO. GOODBYE FOREVER." I stormed off into the storm, wrestling with the umbrella and the wind. It took until the stoplight when Gabe ran up at the moment the wind grew VERY strong again. I swear to god, it was NOT ME the first time and it was STILL not me the second time. SMACK.1133Please respect copyright.PENANAEuudXWtkvw
1133Please respect copyright.PENANAb4yDai6u6l
The umbrella slapped Gabe ... again. I SHRIEKED in horror.1133Please respect copyright.PENANAYvBKKrvFF4
1133Please respect copyright.PENANATERItEfGXD
"What is wrong with you-- ," Gabe said as the pedestrian sign lit up and chased me across the splashing street. "-- I think I'm bleeding! Am I bleeding? My poor mangled face. You may rob me of my coffee and my dignity but you can't get rid of me that easy, infernal murderess. A menace to society, I say! We are all in danger!"
"Then stay FAR away from me!" 1133Please respect copyright.PENANAP3gHXyxPvO
1133Please respect copyright.PENANAoDEJ442IRR
Gabe took my gloved hand, and at that moment our hair rose. White lightning struck -- shocking us both. We keeled over, tased and jolted in waves until it was over. We glanced at each other with fresh and cooked eyes. Smoke steamed from our bodies. Boots were knocked from our feet. We marveled that we were electrocuted and somehow miraculously survived. I nodded, "Okay... Coffee sounds good right now..."1133Please respect copyright.PENANA95DC5gQufv
1133Please respect copyright.PENANA2SQwmSUzlM
"So it's a date, Miranda," Gabe said, pleased. "That is spectacular."1133Please respect copyright.PENANAE6zcC3EWXC
1133Please respect copyright.PENANAJ8LcURcQlS
"It is NOT a date," I insisted. "This is strictly normal and boring. People get hit by lightning all the time, Gabe."1133Please respect copyright.PENANAwv5r2bihRt
1133Please respect copyright.PENANAtVguJkb9ez
"And you're buying!" He pointed an accusing finger.1133Please respect copyright.PENANAlIzEGialSt
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"No, if anything it is YOU who are buying," I bickered. 1133Please respect copyright.PENANA0MDYvIN9Bd
1133Please respect copyright.PENANAjTk1f9abz3
"If I'm buying, ergo it's a date."1133Please respect copyright.PENANALyEv1761bF
1133Please respect copyright.PENANAmPBTwUvce8
"NOPE. WRONG. Regardless of someone buying, it is NOT--"1133Please respect copyright.PENANAkYua9HxKWG
1133Please respect copyright.PENANARnuaDIATzN
We got struck by white lightning twice and wound up in the hospital, in the same room, with a curtain drawn between us. We spent hours staring at the ceiling arguing whose fault it was and how awful the coffee were here.1133Please respect copyright.PENANAdWNSJkazRQ
1133Please respect copyright.PENANAWJxbIkTVfi
Then his voice stopped. I looked at the curtain, hearing a droning flatline. I tore the curtain back. He was off the machine, leaning in for a kiss.1133Please respect copyright.PENANADMF6EoGJBW
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"Kiss me?" 1133Please respect copyright.PENANAr1C7uXSxUY
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It was so OBVIOUS he was going to be my husband.1133Please respect copyright.PENANApmOy57dKBV
So OBVIOUS he was going to be the father of my child.1133Please respect copyright.PENANAbLDNa0wCCa
Gabe. That sweet dork. How can I not love him? 1133Please respect copyright.PENANAjt7GwwwgW7
1133Please respect copyright.PENANAlPy4My9Udr
"No, you kiss me," I said. His eyes closed, as if to melt.
In our hospital gowns, we locked lips. And the rest?1133Please respect copyright.PENANAESgr9Pidst
The rest was, as they say, a WEIRD love story.