It was a VERY strong wind that day, and I absolutely swear to god that none of it was my fault. Seriously, guys. It was the WIND that knocked my umbrella into that dork's face. And his coffee fell too, rolling away. I explicitly articulated my most SINCEREST apologies and how I was just as much publicly humiliated as him.
"What is wrong with you-- I'm Gabe by the way--," he took my gloved hand to shake before returning to his nuclear meltdown. "--And what is wrong with you, coming out of nowhere, a ninja slash cat monkey assaulting my vulnerability, battering me to a pulp, leaving me struggling within in an inch of my life. I have asthma, you brute. Precious people like me die from wheezing. How dare you."
"I am MIRANDA," I shrug at Gabe. "Guess I am TOO MUCH of a woman for you."1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZ8BLJ60s5
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With the last word, I STRUT away. A minute later, it grew apparent he won't let that happen. He ran to my side, stammering and BLUBBERING like a fool.1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88wJbavy6v
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"Now, just wait a gosh-darned second here!" Gabe raised a finger. I kept a straight face when inside I just wanted to LOL. "You still owe me coffee-- and for mangling my face-- who knows if I ever see you again."1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqE87Os2L9
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"I did not MANGLE your face! The wind did! Your face is not mangled, your face is perfectly FINE!" I huffed, realizing we stood outside the cafe. "I am being blackmailed and entrapped. I am not okay with it!"1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRvK6psBcd
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The clouds roared back, and rain shattered. I fought with the umbrella.1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYcZzWIzem
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"So it's a date!" Gabe shouted over the hysteria. 1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtpVpg0UDf
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"NO. GOODBYE FOREVER." I stormed off into the storm, wrestling with the umbrella and the wind. It took until the stoplight when Gabe ran up at the moment the wind grew VERY strong again. I swear to god, it was NOT ME the first time and it was STILL not me the second time. SMACK.1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqyKs1s1Rv
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The umbrella slapped Gabe ... again. I SHRIEKED in horror.1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY85qqhdYfr
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"What is wrong with you-- ," Gabe said as the pedestrian sign lit up and chased me across the splashing street. "-- I think I'm bleeding! Am I bleeding? My poor mangled face. You may rob me of my coffee and my dignity but you can't get rid of me that easy, infernal murderess. A menace to society, I say! We are all in danger!"
"Then stay FAR away from me!" 1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVIhilKlQ2
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Gabe took my gloved hand, and at that moment our hair rose. White lightning struck -- shocking us both. We keeled over, tased and jolted in waves until it was over. We glanced at each other with fresh and cooked eyes. Smoke steamed from our bodies. Boots were knocked from our feet. We marveled that we were electrocuted and somehow miraculously survived. I nodded, "Okay... Coffee sounds good right now..."1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaAnt7JZ9n
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"So it's a date, Miranda," Gabe said, pleased. "That is spectacular."1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHuMteRJA2
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"It is NOT a date," I insisted. "This is strictly normal and boring. People get hit by lightning all the time, Gabe."1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTIPGEDtLk
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"And you're buying!" He pointed an accusing finger.1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOQij9aYrH
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"No, if anything it is YOU who are buying," I bickered. 1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuiEJylmNq
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"If I'm buying, ergo it's a date."1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05rg1pRSOV
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"NOPE. WRONG. Regardless of someone buying, it is NOT--"1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OzF4LhLLG
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We got struck by white lightning twice and wound up in the hospital, in the same room, with a curtain drawn between us. We spent hours staring at the ceiling arguing whose fault it was and how awful the coffee were here.1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFrX5IoEzI
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Then his voice stopped. I looked at the curtain, hearing a droning flatline. I tore the curtain back. He was off the machine, leaning in for a kiss.1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64omELu2fU
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"Kiss me?" 1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYzrgr1GGW
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It was so OBVIOUS he was going to be my husband.1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBGxmgMd4e
So OBVIOUS he was going to be the father of my child.1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcw4BhfCcd
Gabe. That sweet dork. How can I not love him? 1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGqJzzFejE
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"No, you kiss me," I said. His eyes closed, as if to melt.
In our hospital gowns, we locked lips. And the rest?1071Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DPaObvKgy
The rest was, as they say, a WEIRD love story.
