“Hey, you there.” Charles felt someone tap him on the shoulder. Turning, he found a female player standing next to him, arms akimbo. “You planned that whole escapade, didn’t you?”
“What’s it to you?” Charles shot back, sizing her up. Unlike the majority of the adventures they’d seen, she was wearing no armor whatsoever, only a pair of blue jeans and a form-fitting black leather jacket over a pink top. In fact, the backpack over her shoulder was the only thing that identified her as an adventurer, with not even a single weapon showing on her person. A plain-looking girl, her most striking feature was her long hazel-brown hair, which reached well past her waist.
“Look, I’m not aiming to pick a fight here or anything. Just let the girl go, and we can all walk away happy, okay?” she offered.
Charles’ eyes brightened, and he turned and winked at Isaac. Then, facing the girl again he adopted a villainous expression. “And what happens if I don’t, eh?” He scowled. “Cities are a no-combat zone. Unless you happen to be a Hitman like that guy, you’re not going to have any effect on me.”
“You must be new to towns.” She sighed. “Notice how that big guy was able to hit the guard? When a chase activates, a radius around the guards becomes a combat zone so players can defend themselves. We’re both inside the radius, and you’re within my striking distance, so choose your next move carefully.”
“Heh, you got me.” Charles shrugged. “A’ight Isaac, let’s go.” He turned away.
“…Not!” he yelled, football-tackling Tenshi and slinging her over his shoulder as he broke into a run, pushing past the player.
“Charles!” Isaac exclaimed.
“Oh, you bastard!” the girl growled, cracking her knuckles and giving chase.
“What now?” Tenshi asked.
“Scream and say “help me”!” Charles whispered, knocking over a pile of crates as he rounded a corner.
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Tenshi shrieked, emitted a sound closer to a high-pitched siren than a scream. Then, as if remembering something, she added a spoken “Help me” afterwards.
“Hang tight, I’m coming!” the girl called back, flicking her menu as she ran. “Damn, out of the radius.” She clicked her tongue.
“You’ll never take us alive!” Charles cackled back maniacally, rounding another corner and bursting out into the main square, amidst a massive brawl. Players left and right were trading blows and bullets while armoured guards waded through the crowd, slashing with wild abandon and repeating a string of pre-set lines.
“Bad decision, miscreant.”
“Never should’ve done that.”
“Prepare yourself.”
“You’ll regret this.”
Taking advantage of the crowd, Charles dropped low, chucking Tenshi under his arm and bringing up his menu to equip his armour. Rising slowly, he dodged between angry adventurers and NPCs as he made his way across the square.
But he didn’t get far.
Finally reaching the end of the alley, Isaac panted for breath, looking up just in time to see the girl leap off the top of a nearby roof. Soaring over the crowd, she landed a powerful kick into the back of Charles’s head, sending him and his helmet flying in separate directions. In the same movement, the girl landed lightly on her feet, shooting out a waiting arm to catch Tenshi before she landed.
“That was close. You okay, sunshine?” The girl grinned infectiously, helping Tenshi to her feet. Then she paused. “Wait, I know you, weren’t you with those Peppermint girls earlier?”
“Hello, Marie.” Tenshi bowed politely, sidestepping to avoid a thrown blade. “Thank you for rescuing me.”
“Waaaaait a minute.” Marie narrowed her eyes, looking between Tenshi, Isaac, and the slowly approaching Charles, who was rubbing his head tenderly. “You’re all in on this, aren’t you? This some kinda scam?”
“Well, yes and no.” Charles broke into an insincere smile, throwing his hands out expansively. “We’re trying to recruit members to our party, and wanted to weed out the wheat from the chaff first, so to speak.”
“That’s why you pulled that dumb stunt with Tenshi here?” She cocked an eyebrow.
“Well, naturally,” Charles explained, ducking to avoid a thrown hammer. “It wouldn’t have had the same effect if Isaac here were the one in trouble.”
“Hell, I’d have stepped in to save either of them from you.” Marie shrugged. “You’re mad sketchy, I’m a little concerned for the both of them.”
“You see? I told you!” Isaac punched Charles’ arm.
“Look, it’s really cute and all that you set this up for me, but I’m not the teamwork type.” Marie sighed, releasing her fists. “I’m gonna pass on that invite.” She turned to Tenshi. “I’ll send you a friend request just in case, let me know if these doofuses get you in trouble.” Waving, she turned and walked away.
“Well, that sure worked,” Isaac commented sarcastically. “I thought you said this was a sure thing.”
“Look bro, there are no “sure things” in life.” Charles clapped an arm over his shoulder. “I just meant it had the best chance of working. Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty more sure things up my sleeve.”
“I can’t wait.” Isaac rolled his eyes.
“You mean…Marie will not be joining us?” Tenshi’s eyes bore into the back of Charles’ head.
“Well, you know how these things go,” he shrugged. “Can’t win ‘em all. We’ll find someone else, don’t you worry.”
“But you said your chances of success were 100%, did you not?” she pressed.
“Well yeah, but only in the way that hand sanitizer is 99.99% effective,” he amended. “You don’t factor outliers into the statistics, girl!”
“I do not recall any fine print after your “100%” statistic,” she continued, unwavering.
“Well…look I…you’re not…” He wilted under her unblinking gaze. “Oh damn it all, just you watch, I’ll recruit her no sweat!” He took off after Marie.
“I…have a bad feeling about this,” Isaac quipped, following him with Tenshi.
*******
“Hey, wait up!” Charles called out, reaching Marie just before she turned a corner.
“Hmm? You want something?” She turned around, casting a suspicious eye over Charles.
“Yeah, so, hear me out here.” Charles caught his breath. “Funny story, really. I actually promised those two I’d get them a new party member, so they’re suuuuuper bummed out that you didn’t join. Could you maybe, I dunno, reconsider? Please?”
“Oh.” Marie scratched her head. “Well, like, sorry to hear that and all, but here’s the thing: I really don’t want to.”
“Gaaah! Can’t you see I’m beggin’ you here?” Charles dropped to his knees. “Look, real talk, I’m the oldest guy on the team, I wanna set a good example and be a responsible leader. That means I gotta follow through on my promises. Look, can’t you see the two of them looking at us over there?” He gestured at the approaching Isaac and Tenshi. “You gotta help me out here, man!”
“Not gonna lie, that totally sounds like a “you” problem.” Marie sighed. “Look, can’t you just recruit one of those black-cloaked noobs?”
“Man, I’m trying to look out for these kids!” Charles protested. “I can’t just settle for any old player! Fine, you’re gonna make me go all out, is that it?”
“No, I…” Marie protested.
“Time for my secret technique!” he muttered to himself, deftly pulling a tab on the seam of his shirt.
With a sibilant rush of thread, Charles’ shirt fell apart at the seams, revealing his toned body beneath. “Oh nooooo!” Charles gave a coquettish moan, posing with his arms over his head. “My shirt ripped! Oops!”
“Damn. Nice,” Marie muttered appreciatively under her breath. “I mean, cut the crap! I’m not…I’m not so easy!” she exclaimed indignantly.
“Agh, I didn’t want it to come to this, but you leave me no choice!” Charles reached for his pouch.
“W-what, there’s more?” Marie took a step back, her eyes still locked on Charles. “What…what are you going to take off next?”
“Please! Marry me!” Charles exclaimed, popping open a ring box and holding it out to her.
“Go to hell!” Marie yelled, shoving him head over heels.
"Gaaaah!" Charles exclaimed, falling hard on his back, his ring box flying into the gutter.
“Charles! No!” Isaac rushed over to his fallen friend.
“I’m sorry I failed you guys,” Charles apologized, still lying on his back. "I couldn't get through to her, even after going all out."
“It’s okay Charles, you did you best!” Isaac knelt down next to him. “You were willing to sacrifice what little dignity you had left to make good on your promise. You’re an inspiration to us all!”
“I see. So this is what you meant by an “outlier.”” Tenshi nodded sagely. “There was nothing more you could have done. Good effort.” She gave him a thumbs up.
“Thanks guys. ” Charles passed a hand over his eyes. "But I've just taken some major emotional damage, I think I'm gonna lie here and rethink my life. You guys go on without me."
"How could you do this to him?" Isaac looked up at Marie. "Charles' heart's as weak as gas-station toilet tissue, and you just shredded it!"
“God, you guys are all idiots!” Marie exclaimed, turning and walking away. “I’m going home, that’s enough internet for one day.”
Down to just the three of them again, Isaac turned to look at Tenshi. "What now?"
"For starters," she suggested. "You grab his right arm, I shall grab his left."
*******
Between the two of them, Tenshi and Isaac managed to walk the depressed Charles back to their hotel.
“I don’t understand, man!” Charles moaned dejectedly, slumping against Isaac. “I’ve got no student debt, I work out, and I’m looking to be a househusband! I should be the ideal guy!”
“I do not think your physical or lifestyle attributes were at fault,” Tenshi assessed. “In fact, I deem your physique flawless. Any failure should thereby be attested to your irredeemable character flaws.”
“Gee, thanks,” Charles moped.
“To be fair, I think you lost all credibility once the shirt came off,” Isaac replied. “She probably thought you were messing with her.”
“It would’ve worked in Twilight,” Charles defended.
“Yeah, basing your tactics off Twilight was your first mistake.”
After finally reaching and checking into the hotel Nor had recommended, the party split up for the night.
“I’m going to bed.” Charles slumped up the stairs. “My confidence is shattered, and life doesn’t make sense anymore.”
“Er…sleep well?” Isaac called after him, before making his way to his own door.
Entering his room and locking the door, Isaac examined the furnishings.
When Nor had said it was a former house renovated into a hotel, he had expected a bit more utilitarianism, but the room that greeted him could have been nothing but a former kid’s bedroom. Posters and banners for various sports teams still hung on the walls, the well-worn dresser in the corner had names carved in its peeling black paint, and the throw-rug in the center of the floor was clearly a last-minute attempt to hide the many grooves in the hardwood, worn through hard playing.
Immediately immersed in a warm feeling of hominess, Isaac threw himself onto the soft, downy mattress, sinking into the smell of lavender detergent. Tapping the log-out button on his game menu, he sighed deeply as the numbness of the sensual override faded and relinquished its control back to the body. Rolling out of his bed and stretching, Isaac accustomed himself to his real body once again.
Squinting his eyes and blinking against the light of his ceiling lamp, he removed the N-LiFe and placed it back on his desk.
Opening his door and striding into the hallway, he stopped in front of his sister’s doorway to make sure the light was out, confirming she was already in bed. Tiptoeing down the stairs, he made for the kitchen, his stomach reminding him he had missed supper.
A couple slices of cold pizza and a diet soda later found Isaac in his room, door shut, rummaging through piles of folders marked “Alveus”.
“As long as I’m going to be in that world, I’d better make sure I have everything memorized,” he muttered to himself, flipping through one binder after another. Lists of classes, creatures, magical items, bosses, maps and other sketches, everything that had been used in the creation of Alveus, lay in those unassuming piles of brightly-coloured folders.
It was easy enough to read through them one page at a time back when he was hacking BRYZ, but he wouldn’t have the luxury of flipping through his references back online.
Hours later, Isaac closed the last binder, sending up a cloud of dust. “Well, there’s no question about it, the virtual world I was just in and my Alveus are one and the same,” he murmured to himself, changing into his pajamas. “But y’know, I realized something part way through.”
Getting into his bed, he continued his musing. “Whatever fluke caused my world to be implanted in BRYZ won’t last long,” he rationalized. “Since there’s nobody maintaining it, it’s only a matter of time until some other hacker finds a way to take control of it, or the officials break in themselves. In the end, everything’ll return to normal, whether I get my account back or not. I’ll probably be lucky if this lasts the summer.”
Yawning, Isaac turned over and sighed as a great weight was taken off his shoulders. “That being the case, I might as well enjoy the game while I can.” He smiled, slowly drifting off to sleep.
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