I barely felt the cold night as I trudge through the snow away from the bus stop. My boyfriend is going home to his city four hours away. Something happened that made us both smile in silence and mutual understanding. He came in slowly for a hug and for the first time, I didn’t flinch. It was unconscious too, I didn’t know I let him hug me until after he let go. The moment kept replaying in my head as my eyes absent-mindedly watch snow drifting and landing on top of leafless trees.
My gaze settles on a figure far ahead. A dark shape on the white ground, motionless under a lone street lamp. I rush to it and realize it was a person. My hands fish for my house keys and clutch them in my pocket. The smell of booze greets my nostrils. The smell grows stronger the closer I get and my stomach wants to fold in on itself.
I bend down and nudge the person, “Do you need help?”
Nothing.
My pulse picked, up as I dust the snow off their face. My hand jerked back to my side immediately. It was a face I haven’t seen in almost a decade. Impossible. I shake my head, shaking away these irrational thoughts. I looked at him again, it wasn’t him. His eyes were too far apart and his nose was sharp. His mouth was so wide, its corners aligned with the edge of his eyes.
He wasn’t breathing.
I didn’t want to touch him so I looked around the empty street. We were alone. Nothing but trees and snow around us.
My hands fumble around for my phone as I walk away. I think I just saw a dead man. The realization makes my stomach turn and my trembling fingers struggle to dial emergency.
Suddenly there’s shuffling behind me. Snow and dirt fly forward as if something large plowed through the ground. Some of it pelt my back and calves and I stop in my tracks. I try to turn around but a hand slaps me on the back, almost as if to make me walk forward. My legs felt as soft as the snow I’m kicking up and my knees almost buckled. The hand slaps me again to a brisk pace.
I feel a figure in my periphery and slowly crane my head towards my right.
My stomach drops.
It was the dead man.
His eyes were far apart, round, and his pupils impossibly large. His mouth pulled in a snarl almost ear to ear. His teeth were uniform but there were too many, white as the snow, against his blood red gums. He heaves, voice raspy and scratching against his throat, but no mist comes out of his mouth. His heaving grows louder and his push becomes more forceful until I snap my head forward. He stops instantly. My boots would’ve stayed helplessly glued to the ground if it weren’t for his hand behind me.
It was quiet for what seemed like forever. Except for the wind and my boots crunching the snow. I cannot even hear his footsteps, but I can feel his hand and see his silhouette to my right. Then his hand snakes toward my left shoulder. His face presses against my right ear.
“M..myy babyyy…”
It was raspy and guttural, like an animal desperately trying to form words. I can hear the slick wetness of his saliva. His hand runs down my chest, and I feel many more caressing my legs. My throat seizes. My eyes well up. I can feel my pulse through my temple.
“Shhhhh… don’t.. don’t teeell.. your mmotherrr…”
Memories rush through me like the wind. The cold bite at my wet cheeks like a million needles. My eyes sting. I cross my arms but his hands pull them apart. I feel countless calloused hands rub against me. I had gone stiff, but he pushes me forward. I wanted to fall down right then and there. But something in me refuses.
“Orr.. elssse… your.. brother…”
I clutch my key between my fingers and swing at him.
Gone.
He was gone. Like he wasn’t there in the first place.
I fall to my knees and wail, battered by the sleet and strong winds. I don’t know how long it was until I found the strength to stand up. My knees wobble but I manage to carry myself. Then I run. The cold harsh wind blows against me but I keep running.
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