Jason stood up so fast he felt his head rush, and darted to the bedroom. He threw the door open, startling Lily awake. Deep inside he felt a rinse of relief because she was awake, but he felt fear boil inside him.
“WHAT DID YOU TAKE?” he yelled.
Lily sat up, grabbing the comforter with her hands. “What...?”
He held up the papers he just read, causing her eyes to widen. “What did you TAKE?”
“Where did you find those?” she questioned.
“Lily,” Jason said sternly. “You tell me what ‘pills’ you took right now so I know how to counteract them, or I will force them out the not-so-fun way.”
“Jason, listen—” she started.
“No,” he said. “You listen to me. ‘One hour.’ When did you take them?”
“I— I can’t tell you....”
“When did you take them?” he said through clenched teeth.
His terrifying glare forced the words out of her mouth. “Thirty minutes ago!”
“What pills were they?” he questioned harshly.
“Sleeping pills,” she said quickly.
“Which ones?”
“The— the pink ones... It said on the bottle that it took an hour to work....”
He brought the papers down. “How many did you take?”
“Seven....”
He pointed to the bathroom on the other side of the doorway. “Go force yourself to puke right now.”
“Jason... I can’t....”
“Right now.”
“Please! You have to believe me! She’s trying to control me! This is the only answer!”
“When things like this happen, you tell me. You don’t try to kill yourself.” He grabbed her arm and dragged her to the bathroom.
“No... No! Please, I can’t! I can’t hurt you!”
He brought her down onto her knees in front of the toilet. “Stick your finger in your throat.”
“Jason...” Lily sobbed. “You don’t understand....”
He watched her cry in front of the toilet, and a horrible rush of dread ran up his body. “You’re right,” his voice calmed, “I don’t.” He kneeled down in front of her. “You know how you don’t want me to get hurt?”
She nodded.
“Well, I don’t want you to get hurt either, angel,” he said. “I need you to understand that. This problem we have, we can fix it. Together. There’s not one way. Especially the way you chose. I can’t lose you the way you can’t lose me. Alright?”
She nodded again.
“Okay, now stick your finger down your throat—”
“There’s another way...” part of her forced out.
Jason settled down next to her. “What way?”
“I— Part of me couldn’t go through with it... So I bought...” she sniffled, “I bought charcoal pills to satisfy the guilt.”
Charcoal pills would defiantly counteract the overdose, especially when they were still in her stomach. “Where are they?” Jason asked.
She hesitated as she opened her palm, there was a tiny snack bag full of coated pills.
“Take three,” Jason said. “Here.” He sat up and grabbed a cup off the sink counter and filled the cup with water from the faucet.
She took the cup out of his hand and hesitated as she opened the bag. She placed her hands on her lap. “I can’t....”
“Take it,” Jason said sternly.
She threw three pills in her mouth and gulped water, forcing them down even though she didn’t want to. “There!” She tried not to cry. “I took it! Happy now?”
His response was scooping her up in his arms and carrying her to the bed. And she didn’t want him to let go. As much as she was afraid that he hated her, she found herself melting in his grip. His warmth... was too soothing...
He sat down onto the bed, holding her in his lap. “Now,” he said, “because of this, you’re not allowed to get out of my hold. I have to make sure you’re safe. And if that means calling Celeste and having her watch you until I get a couple hours of sleep, I’ll do it. But you are not allowed by yourself at all.”
Lily was silent. She didn’t speak a single word, but Jason knew she wasn’t asleep. He could hear her thoughts run through her head.
I want to escape, but I don’t...
Why does he make it so hard to fight back?
I hope he doesn’t let go...
“Angel,” Jason breathed. “You should’ve told me.”
Lily moved a little, but not to escape. She just lowered herself onto the bed, resting her head on Jason’s lap.
“Told you about what?” She asked. She knew what he was saying. She knew he was talking about Lilith, but she didn’t really want to talk about it. It ate at her heart for the longest time, and now she felt exhausted from life. She felt horrible. Awful. And she just wanted the pain in her chest to go away, but it wouldn’t. No matter how hard she tried, the hole in her soul would stay there until she would die.
“Angel,” Jason said again. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but it’ll help you. I know how you work.” He was right. He knew how she worked. Either hold it in and hurt herself, or explode at the most terrible time.
But Lily stayed silent. And when Jason spoke, it was in a quiet whisper, and she could tell he was fighting the urge to cry. “You really scared me...” he said softly. “I... I don’t understand why you would even want to hurt yourself like that....” The crack in his tone hurt her. “What did I do...?” he spoke silently. “What did I do to make you want to leave me...?”
That’s when a millisecond passed by and Jason found her hugging him tightly, holding him close as if he was vanishing into hell. He could feel her skin burn him, and her tears dripped onto his shoulder, evaporating into the air.
“It’s not you...” Lily wept. “Please... don’t think that....” She adjusted her head over his shoulder. “It’s me... I don’t know what’s wrong with me... I don’t want to leave you... I was trying to save you... I’m sorry that I hurt you... I know I messed up... I just couldn’t bare telling you that she... she was alive... I thought you would’ve gotten mad or something... And I couldn’t bear to hurt you or make you feel like you were betrayed or that I was lying and then you would hate me or that—”
Jason’s hand found its way over her mouth even though he couldn’t see it. “Shhh...” he murmured. “You don’t need to explain yourself, angel.” He did want her to explain herself, but it wasn’t a good idea right now. She was panicking, and she needed to calm down before her fire started burning worse. “Lay down, sweetheart,” he whispered.
She didn’t let go. Just held onto him for dear life as she buried her head in the crook of his neck.
“Come on,” he said.
Lightly, he peeled her hands off his back, softly pushing her away from him as he laid her on the bed, drawing the covers over her heated body. The most terrible thing was that he couldn’t see her face. She covered her expression with her hair, and shoved her face in the pillow when she was fully down.
With a sigh, he turned off the bedside lamp with a single twist, and laid down while pulling her close. Surprisingly, she wrapped her arms around him, letting her head tuck into his shoulder as he brushed his fingers through her hair.
“I know I keep on saying this,” Jason said, “but it’s okay to feel angry. I know you hate it. I know it’s terrible. It doesn’t feel good. But you have to let it out somehow or you’ll end up making horrible decisions like you just did. And I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose you, angel.”
“I’m sorry...” she whispered.
“No,” he said calmly. “I don’t want any apologies. I want a promise.”
She nodded into his shirt. “Anything.”
“Promise me you won’t hurt yourself again. And not just a promise, I want an oath.”
Her breath caught for a second, and Jason thought it was because she didn’t think she could go through with it, but really it was because she was confused as to what “oath” meant.
“Like a blood oath?” Lily asked. “Gifted ones do those things?”
“No!” He said really fast. “No, no, no. Not a blood oath. No, I wouldn’t want you to cut yourself after this.” He leaned away for a second, making Lily’s skin turn cold. She heard something scrape against the nightstand. Then he leaned back, but didn’t pull her back toward him yet.
“There’s this thing fallen angels do,” Jason explained. “It was developed from archangels.” He held up a black marker in his hand. “It’s a type of oath that was created to form alliances and such. On Earth, originals form alliances just by word. Promises.” He opened the cap, and Lily saw his lashes lower. “But promises are broken all the time.”
“What’s the oath?” Lily asked. Jason could see her eyes glisten in the darkness. A dark watery blue. Like the ocean in the middle of night.
“There’s a symbol that I draw on your hand.” He showed her his palm. At her confused look, he added, “Remember those symbols that one author you like created?”
It took a moment for Lily to register what Jason was saying.
“A rune?” She said at last.
“Yes!” Jason exclaimed. “Yes, a rune!” He held out his hand, waiting for her to take it.
“Will it burn?” Lily asked softly.
“No,” he said gently. “Not even a little.”
She placed her hand on Jason’s as he lightly grasped it and turned it over so her palm faced him. She felt a cold, damp type of liquid stick to her hand as Jason drew the symbol skillfully. He even did it in the dark! How was that even possible?
“There,” he said when he finished, then he moved on to drawing the symbol on his hand.
Lily took this moment to look at the rune. It was shaped like a horseshoe, tiny black circles at every outward corner, and a human like figure in the center. It had a head, and what looked like four arms. The top two arms bent up, the bottom out. So Lily could tell why fallen angels used it. The four arms could classify as a god of some sort. And fallen angels were their own type of god. The god of demons. Archangels were the gods of the originals—humans.
Then Jason held out his hand that had the same symbol drawn across his palm. “Now,” he said quietly. “Put your hand on mine—rune facing rune—and repeat the words I say.”
Lily pressed her palm to his, feeling heat burst through her skin, but Jason was right, it didn’t burn. She saw some sort of bright light form from the cracks of their palms. And bright yellow sparks flew out of their hands as they glowed white.
“I swear,” Jason said, indicating with his gaze for Lily to repeat after him.
“I swear,” Lily repeated.
“I won’t try to harm myself physically in any way, shape, or form,” Jason uttered.
“I won’t try to harm myself physically in any way, shape, or form,” Lily copied.
“And I will work on my mental health, no matter how hard it gets.”
Lily repeated what Jason said hesitantly.
“And if I hurt myself, or if someone else hurts me, Jason will feel an agonizing burn on this very rune on his hand,” Jason said.
“What?” Lily questioned.
“Repeat it,” he said with his eyebrows raised.
“But....”
“Please?”
“You do realize you’re asking for a lot... right...?” Lily asked quietly.
“I know.” He smiled softly. “And I know this’ll let me know when you’re hurting yourself as well as when someone is hurting you. So please,” he intertwined his fingers with hers, “repeat it.”
“If I hurt myself...” Lily whispered hesitantly, “or if someone else hurts me...” she breathed deeply, not wanting to do this, “Jason will feel an....” She let out a breath. “I’m sorry, I can’t do it.”
Jason grabbed her waist when she tried to turn away, keeping her from running. Lily could see the softness in his gaze. The dark green, and the bright yellow highlights in his brown hair from the light of the magic.
“Please, angel,” he begged. “I need you to do this. I need you to.”
“No,” she said gently. “I can’t....”
Jason exhaled silently. “If Lily hurts herself,” she looked up at him in surprise, “or if someone else hurts her, I will feel an agonizing burn on this very rune on my hand. And I will go to her rescue, or I will lose everything I worked towards, and have no life worth living.”
Lily was too stunned to interrupt his oath. But she finally realized it was done, and she then knew what she could do to have the same commitment.
When Jason was about to pull his hand away, she grabbed it with her other hand, and held theirs together while she said her words.
“And Jason,” she said at his confused look. “I promise to love you forever until the day I die. And I will care for you, and love you, and treat you like you’re the one person who matters to me because you are.”
“Lily—”
“And if I break that oath, then I will lose everything I worked towards. And I will die a horrible death. And when I come back, I will live a life full of sorrow and terror.”
Before she could pull her hand away to create the oath, Jason said, “And I promise to do everything you just swore. Everything you just said I promise, and I will live up to that promise forever.”
“Forever,” Lily repeated.
Then their hands separated, and the magic vanished, but a very dark mark was left on both of their palms. Even in the darkness, Lily could tell it was their oath. Burned into her hand for eternity.
