「我是個意外不該出生」
我從夢境中醒來，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCQBcNo3eL
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWoXtSfAfu
事隔多年我還是會被那些回憶驚醒，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqZzNeituy
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0k8RqLULwX
那是父親童年時光常常告訴我的，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcg2oO8eTb
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOa7L0rlh0L
幼小我的父母就離異，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJLw4FU2WV
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfoDUw4SeH
母親是內地人離婚後就回國了，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfLGJs21bh
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhWGJg6Lgi
對母親的記憶還是有，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBllFJdPYb
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixtsyBjeOu
記得她很常酗酒，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHz4cFzr7Ta
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4UOo90wZz
後來的日子，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABh3NZQRN1
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JCsdfJrI0
我總是在房間聆聽他們的爭吵。
父親獨自承擔起照顧我的生活，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWe1Rl0rKNw
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLoBrtD55o
忙於工作的他，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDniVDP6JKA
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dNAg9VSry
常常讓我睡在幼兒園，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrJSd16lP2
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykfCRRluSy
到了上課時間再直接上課，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshXjXVHo6R
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvK9bLNwZpg
什麼？為什麼能睡在那裡，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4tWLp5LIA
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1wfJgyQMx
因為姑姑是那裡的英文導師，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZp87PLbZa
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvqrJdwgeP
所以我總能寄宿在那裡，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIjxCooGiv
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTYj2ksYg6
剛開始還會看著監視器期盼，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafxFCttORu
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAM9nevZQsI
漸漸的知道自己並不會被接走。
開始在小學上課，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzJGsMABWr
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RqIrVRlzf
父親工作的地方不一定，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qgDBNYJDQ
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZFpfm4HSQ
輾轉的換了三所小學，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfNT4CDB2L
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqOYMpPu2Y
以至於我跟同學之間的關係並沒有那麼好。
父親性格上也開始逐漸扭曲，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYXSICA4Xc
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqTKaeSheC
他開始會喜怒無常，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZh2oDIs9Sc
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FgxgpyVAD
沒來由的找我發脾氣，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDD0KmAEcZJ
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEwDuhwXjK
下一秒又對我十分和善。
我很好奇……家人還有被關愛的感覺，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWFI0BslRf
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmslYg4Z0mr
很小我就與異性交往，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9GFfptEwr
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0CsHfgahL
試圖尋找一些慰藉。
父親，是一名水電工，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTk3hAXtIo8
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnn61Xp6zSp
家裡總是擺滿各式各樣的工作，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYgl4wk4FR
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LrSB7HcO1
偶爾我也會陪同他工作，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufqz9XW9QZ
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBW0LsF8Pak
我會睡在工地，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXPgdI2foC
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnryjsU0Tz8
用紙箱跟外套搭建自己的窩，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrZjUwmUlh
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWW5VpDOSaC
父親在工作上十分認真敬業，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52z2vlraJ5
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmr2WhmAwC
委託人總是非常信任他。
國小三年級，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡse9TEMv4jo
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf13j0mab9m
他開始會講貶低的話語，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1e7sdLaTsO
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rjCkaKOPA
那些原本用來工作的用具，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkccNKpTsP
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NOZ59pS6y
偶爾會成為威脅我的道具，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTyvhbVIe0
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiOli63GSs
他會拿著水管說：「你信不信我會打你」675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQ3UGcpig6
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30pq3FvTg7
有次，他不蠻玩沉浸電腦跟網友聊天的我，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduHHZHv8Lr
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwMRWwO2jW
他直接逼迫我隔天不准上課，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCT5Gpktd0A
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSVv26ImYq
要我轉告給老師，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshAT40Im7I
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNfQ23F5gk
電話裡他說：「老師吼？有種你就報警」675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLXjZaxhfd
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdTxMRDoWV
老師報了警，結果不小心報錯地址闖錯的門。
之後，我偶爾會逃家，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQW7g81kuy
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ995OBfdPDy
沒過多久被安排進了補習班，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIccqNethG
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2msdRnumxw
那樣的對待仍然持續，而我染上了自傷的習慣。
這樣的日子長達了三年的光陰。
我從回憶中反應過來，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RfDMtkzWH
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gkk3Zy0rY
細細去回想每個片段，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAjdrABDIX
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpbnDTwUc8
父親，很不容易的照顧了我的起居，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4lSRWvXF3
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudgPKwcpCE
仔細想想一個照顧小女孩，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkS1kp8Ea4f
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmdPOREmn7
對他一個大男孩很不容易，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOLiEmP0jx
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKW8ybvk8u
所以他很常說：「我是個意外不該出生」675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSh3ymzLox3
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhqtnN4kT9
卻不知不覺間深深烙印在我腦海。
或許，我本不應該誕生吧。
整理了一下情緒，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiULDykkYd
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNX13fYAtCC
走進廁所打理了一下自己狼狽的摸樣，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaOQtzxNCq
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgroA9SP2Jj
我打開冰箱，拿出冰牛奶，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4h0clT5VdO
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79F4KraxND
打算為自己做份牛奶麥片當早餐，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFd4kjmYHqo
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEQXvP8mQ1
是父親最常為我做的簡易餐點，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMaN6bQz7J
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAAVNZ3NMI
還是有很多屬於他的回憶，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7clHrhEhik
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwi21IsDSCS
我喃喃自語到：「好想失憶啊～」675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEN01WwGpZH
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhNgzL1ZnS
正準備吃下第一口時，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWOYdp9Qj9
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrM8xTSV1y
手機螢幕上顯示著今日的新聞，675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qck4oadDg
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClcCuK44uf
《少女淚訴遭狼父性騷擾》
675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BrHdNsJdi
頓時，回憶到了我國二那年。675Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXNmtsBxzG
