Upon waking, I was aware of one thing, my head felt like it had been bashed to a pulp by a sledgehammer. For all I know, maybe that is what actually happened, everything feels fuzzy, like there's a big pile of molasses in my brain, clogging my thoughts. For awhile I just laid there, building up the will to open my tightly shut eyelids.
If there’s anything I know about situations like these, It’s that once I open my eyes, this headache is gonna get ten times worse, and laying here in the fetal position on...something solid just seems more appealing. Too bad I can’t stay here forever, maybe there’s a bed with just washed sheets around?
Alright, forcing my eyes open in 3...2...1. Hey! No pain! In fact, none of the original headache is there, everything is clear, and that brain-molasses is gone too. That’s...odd. I wish every headache would go away like that. Now where am I?
Straight ahead of me is some sort of gated palace structure, hard to tell, it’s really bright over there, but I’m definitely getting Versailles vibes from the buildings. Once my eyes have time to adjust, I see that the light is coming from what looks like a mini-sun that hovers directly above the palace, casting a brilliant shine over the whole scene. Apparently the light can’t get to where I’m standing, because everything within my vicinity is grey.
Wait...everything is literally grey. Waving my hands in front of my face proved my hypothesis. My previously dark blue jeans are now much darker, black in color.
What the hell? Apparently I’m a character in a black and white movie now. Ya know, I can respect the classics of black and white film, but I’d really like to live in color thank you.
As I strode toward the color palace (I had christened the building this for obvious reasons) I realized that not only did I look like a character from an old Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer film, I was also the only object in the area, below me was a thick cloud of some sort of smoke, churning, but never coming up past my ankles, and up above there was an inky black abyss, no stars here apparently.
I wonder if the guys at MGM are ever gonna replace that title card with the roaring lion that they’ve used forever. Or maybe they’ll at least get some new footage...then again, how do you up and replace something so iconic? But I’m getting off topic.
Ok, now I’m getting close to the palace, finally close enough for the light to hit me. And, my color is back! Welcome to the modern era ladies and gentlemen.
As I approach the palace, the previously intense light from the mini sun above the palace recedes into a noticeably softer, and fairly pleasant white light. At this distance, I can even stare directly at it, it really does look a lot like a mini-sun, I think I see a sunspot somewhere on it…
WHAM! “Dammit!” I was so caught up in gawking at the light, that I didn’t notice this stupid fence I just ran into. Looks like a fence you might find around a high class gated community, vertical iron bars sat upright, protruding out of the...grass? I do a double take. Right where the fenceposts start, the lushest healthiest looking green grass I have ever seen is growing, perfectly uniform, all around the posts. The lawn is just as straight as the fence, nothing was out of place, not even one blade of grass was sticking out in an non-uniform fashion. Man, whoever lives here takes their lawn care very seriously.
Well, now that I’ve quite literally smacked into what could quite possibly be the only bright spot in this entire...come to think of it, what the hell kind of place am I in anyways? I highly doubt that I’m anywhere on earth at this point, there really isn’t any natural phenomena that could explain something like a super powered mini- sun that gets easier to see as you get closer. Not to mention the abyss I just came from. Actually, I might be in some kind of big underground dome, and the dome I came from is just a teleport to the big one? I mean, the government has spent money on stuff dumber than this. Then again, that does not explain this light in the sky, it lights up a perfect sphere around itself and it gets dimmer as you get closer. That’s not like any light I’ve ever seen. It sort of, defies the laws of physics like that. Maybe I’m on a different planet? But that would not explain this palace in front of me. It definitely broadcasts a lot of human features, the manicured grass is definitely familiar, and wow...now that I’m close the palace definitely looks a lot like the Palace of Versailles. That architecture is most definitely human, I really don’t think that aliens would emulate our style, a style that is hundreds of years old at that. Well I’ve got nothing. I have no idea where the hell I am. Not at all. No frame of reference, nothing. The shiny palace and the creepy abyss are the only things around here to go off of. I know I don’t have the greatest sense of direction, but this is absolutely ridiculous.
Trudging around the fence surrounding the palace has got me nowhere so far, but there has got to be a gate or an entrance or some way for me to get in in a non-threatening way. I figure that if I just hopped the fence, it might activate some sentry turrets or alert a sniper or something, and I’d rather not to be vaporized if I can help it. Though if I don’t find an entrance soon, I might have to risk it, don’t want to be stuck in a weird black and white limbo forever.
It occurs to me that I don’t really know what to do once I get inside this palace. I mean, if it follows the basic theme of everything else in this place, something very weird and possibly new-age is going to be inside. Worst case scenario, whatever is inside is hostile and I die a horrific death. Best case scenario, I get teleported back to my apartment, with a clean criminal history. Or I’m in heaven, either way works for me.
After walking briskly for awhile, I finally find a gate. It slopes upwards from the rest of the face and could easily fit several cars passing through all at once. Problem is, it’s shut, and way too tall to climb over.
I don’t suppose that there is a doorbell somewhere around here?
Perring at the imposing gates I find that there is, in fact, something which bears a resemblance to a doorbell on the front of one of the iron bars. Well, that is...oddly convenient.
I reach over to push the black square shaped button. Wait a second, what if this button is a trap? Like if I push it God’s foot descends from the heavens and pancakes me. That honestly would not be that far-fetched, given where I am right now. Then again, it’s not like that I have any other choice.
I look away, extend my arm as far as it will go, and crap I hope this doesn’t kill me, push the button. As far as I can tell nothing happens. No noise, and no smiting from the heavens either.
I sigh. Maybe that button is there just to screw with people like me, it doesn’t seem to serve any other purpose. I guess I had better find another entrance.
I try to take a step forward, but damn my foot feels heavy. In fact, my entire body feels like lead right now. I try to wiggle my toes, curl my fingers, turn my head. I couldn’t do it. I was completely frozen.
Awesome, now I’m paralyzed and completely defenseless, this is just swell.
At least I know what the button does now.
Well now I’m ridiculously exposed. Further attempts at finger-twitching prove just as futile. I let out a grunt in frustration. Is this what paralyzed people feel like all the time? It has been maybe two minutes and I cannot stand being in this trap.
A sudden gust of wind hits my face, interrupting my thoughts. If I could have moved, I definitely would have flinched big time.
“What the hell was that?”
That wind means there has got to be something out there. Here’s hoping that it won’t bite my face off or something similarly unpleasant. The gust was extremely short, just a very quick but very strong puff, like an air cannon. Well I am split, on one hand, I am terrified that there is some kind of horrible monster whose toxic heavy breathing I just experienced lurking around, but on the other hand, it could be something nice who frees me from my current state of paralysis.
Another blast of air hits me, this time coming from directly from behind me. If I was not completely rooted in place right now, there is no way I would be still standing after that. This gust of wind was a little different though, its still going after the initial gust.
The air in front of me converged into a sort of cyclone, whipping around wildly in front of me, strangely, I could not even feel the slightest touch of air movement, despite the fact that I can hear the wind swirling around just a few yards away. I guess everything in this place can be focused to a very small area.
They cyclone gathered up the thick whitish smoke that made up the ground coverage of the colorless void surrounding the palace into what now very closely resembled a classic tornado, such as you would see in some storm chaser video.
As soon as it had appeared, the tornado vanished, revealing a towering vaguely humanoid figure that I assumed was my captor.
What I did not have to assume was just how terrifying this thing was. It had to be at least 9 feet tall. It wore a suit of very impressive plate metal armor that would make even the grandest of medieval blacksmiths stare in awe. It gave off a wispy grey aura that constantly rose out of the holes between the plates of the armor.
After a little while of gawking at my captor, I became conscious of the fact that I was staring wide-eyed at it. Given my current state however, I really do not have many other options.
The being regarded me for awhile, and the more he stared the more terrified I became. I might need a change of pants after this.
“It is not often that a creature from the outer dark seeks our halls.”
The outer dark? Does he mean the colorless world?
“But you are not like the beings of the twisted court, so I will give you a chance to explain why it is that you are here before I smite you.”
Smite...me?
ns18.222.24.251da2
