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「去哪？」353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAJaLOEzuR
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsKoXwrY0L
「急事。」353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopHFVKHQrC
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZiZPSOv42
「你不吃晚餐？」353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymnxJcJ6bH
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU507DDYBUl
我沒應答，逕自出門。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxbMNmJ0lq
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVskzo2oHC2
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVtiSlgk1o
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3wG3h1q4b
難以言喻的鬱悶。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcwdKdImJZ
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qDsUdAAMX
長嘆。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEnHpDdYj3
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUmoc0PbNJ
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65Hp0PuQQo
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzX8I6OlJZ
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡee5ttu3tuz
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfBHs6oJhV
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4l1lGFm5Wy
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMw72V0fHT8
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFVTbtflWN
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQo57DBWAH
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCk9LrImTF
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGdStNopFd
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXeeTBjSQ4
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPde4I61oc
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxvKeganDe
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVI5gPoTgp
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVh9Dbe1Ag
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tmihpHBFI
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvKKe2z1XW
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0aRHDVj72
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5id4t241xD
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcS3YnAwdh
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27vRnmnfFa
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquRzW68QO1
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhXIAgbVEl
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB4OoJvAdG
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhJ6cVH2Un
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAcYusmXPT
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMiktuNRh2
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYewOJVcwb
註定的。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvqVDh0Az0
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJx8k30zIzH
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEK1nApWQXS
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7UbK0dxI9
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwueVCj7UU
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpYG0JE2W9
停步。猶疑。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdT7bBglA5b
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUIGwaUzMO
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCOSPCuh1T
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchQpaVl5yT
轉身。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcKp1DU1Qa
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSngatAC21
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Am1Y5cPtJ
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4PthMKZTZ
我回身走去。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqpQbw54Dy
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHC0nR7A2C
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhFbIIS3gj
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoTpuuH4gX
把小狗抱入懷內。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvknVhMyRxN
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCXoln0YHR
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrt7yMwYI6X
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxDOY0Xf2b
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpkxZkaiss
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQspflcf1c
海風？海濱公園步道？353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWuDRcSyUw
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWeC3oOeOX
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyR3qto1oRY
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLfnT9zcXQ
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUi7OcpSJp2
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83dxcOFiAJ
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLP4lN0hGS
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcgTm1WUl8
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6erj35FalM
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHBP8So7c8
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgaceW4oS2
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOypaTBjJTB
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHObI3h6P4
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpe5BhPHgjQ
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCrwHwGeKu
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoKJryt8HB
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXke150rLy
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYFYFJOhjI
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4IggId1zM
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tZ1Bbvc3u
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCq52fLDsTW
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzcCGj6VSl
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxu4xNvrDA
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqo1BJCyLfO
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLK8O6f69vK
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCn2kMy5QE
鬱悶何來？353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWumpZ0MXuy
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfvsoxcPG4
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdaUXnJp6C
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hxzJILDJy
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7fo0XbSJG
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnF3p0XmjHS
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEgvduPNE0
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiL4bZRHTh
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiX8iLtoFf
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlqfbrxZFd
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5W4D0J9ve
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKXAOvXI5c
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEa2xmavuIs
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcSWJ12EvV
然後呢？根本沒有然後。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7dwJaQBAe
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcq7EjIlSR7
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWt4U8WFht
353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BmO09i4Sy
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。353Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLB3Oy7Cv1
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
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