x
「去哪？」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuONF37qnLt
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoqdCtxzTA
「急事。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡly0KioVBsg
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jn3YRTVN2
「你不吃晚餐？」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iNpUofuVw
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhXYSa8EkG
我沒應答，逕自出門。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpf2Kk4CsWz
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbo19eyRrs
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTWIkh48iA
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFO7PRWjYq
難以言喻的鬱悶。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmJc2N5VaE
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvmf0Psi08
長嘆。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrak0RQsmce
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVErsTLWWec
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuqKsCPFhO
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWq8h3riZET
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQ84QuHI9w
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRmB4BHKh0
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlwAc575sk
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhn5REBKY3j
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYg9z76k103
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBMds217J5
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcZHwSkSn7
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESeGHzvBRw
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgISbsWkzN
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyu5wkGjMM
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaLUe93hRd
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakk6BWqlDu
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6fXOFmOio
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEc2ztE2nMU
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVnJIre9qi
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xtcXTXXg5
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FNZ9QiDkf
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4gaWMrI79
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1PPjfNyZW
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uWUYULssP
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPqYo28FAa
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeujNj1F2D
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScfehCV37P
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGfvvjbEit
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfnjL00kWb
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoTd0sgjIO
註定的。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZQCz3hWXY
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPr6rAQstr
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXV4tq14Zm
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjt0LuJIAk8
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcBS2R9ls5
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu12mD6SwLl
停步。猶疑。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsk9uqoo1i
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eb2ZiAED8
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4g3hDNRHIx
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALAJkF4m3R
轉身。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGv2osMKdFX
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7SZRHOFaY
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cr5rVSiLU
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0HVKJ30xX
我回身走去。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftiIV6Pdhe
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtWBfb0fKJ
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPTUkaWMzy
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhiGKlcqVb
把小狗抱入懷內。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5duSduZu6
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLkpH2hQFB
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TSbp18nfc
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuy6b9dJFBv
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3kI2oAIsB
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI68LcG9xn5
海風？海濱公園步道？396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU9it4um5z
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFjn4qryip
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO7TGeK1Rt
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzrToeyQdM
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJPrkXYLmB
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJH0BelYQIO
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UhQy05nAH
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjuGZyGaSj
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikHlQs9uFV
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVSvXIFvxD
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzePGX2GBZJ
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5e355G0yU
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Bo35uAZFc
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyJE4CKSUA
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAigofcD71
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡob37BA1Xub
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNU6Z3y1Tf
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48LL7V85jx
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEHeoMhTma
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8LY9uLgd9
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHwLHxtuBp
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyL5ElQdQHh
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoDQoUIu0D
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOPFAj4eib
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMWyLb8uOM
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVshYmgCk8a
鬱悶何來？396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGW1Ac7dLwj
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwE4do1dLRp
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbEI73YT9x
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKp9wlXq8VF
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjrhl7744W
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FFeCUO1i9
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtULHqjssq
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwABhNy6cQG
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJDP2HjimK
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJidUiXY7nj
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP50SQALIZA
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCYkGJvnMb
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgpTDKpeuS
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5Y881HbFV
然後呢？根本沒有然後。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUcEdJNaSM
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYT6gmjB88
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9vKea8B1V
396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1GF0A8Qm1
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。396Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvA9JQx0dP0
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.109da2
