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「去哪？」401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHMgVPLGFh
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBoqV6aNgS
「急事。」401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05ZefFzo6B
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwXM6KR8hI
「你不吃晚餐？」401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRBmJUGAkp
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmV4XlvHGGj
我沒應答，逕自出門。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFR6bwDbKG
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRBXWtRu9c
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04J2yQSNxa
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCUUzz4nBi
難以言喻的鬱悶。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFvJq2c37E
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEW4iMRco4
長嘆。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurBSawidIT
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtu7AYVw4g
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiFio9OOCG
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJLnGlZfUf
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMYg0rswaQ
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MA8rzBwNs
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDE9booTgx
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZuWR9venO
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUw42FIJ6MU
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qdsmmo6kE
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZZybXgvlG
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGZaJCDGT5
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpecy5pnbM
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDeg4Zm7wv
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShbtZ6X2vg
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgn4diSV2lu
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SnidmSzZ9
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzI0Ts8AuA
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRxlmUKY9O
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIGvJx0qOW
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqAPNNDD0Y
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXNzRFPzlk
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84Tqxj2QJQ
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Bp7kDXOBG
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetzzlr4lHC
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsy0iL8QZhR
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oYaH4GfZv
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyBWzD5zOs
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yByd93Rnp
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DWyLdoWKi
註定的。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46QdwmKsbc
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGOQy2GPvB
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrK3DeRemrp
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXr7mISbmc
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7X2dBOdPLr
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0qOUVmI8N
停步。猶疑。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfzkLcdLJl
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8v5Ua3AnR
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyf43MGXSw
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27yFHUfK4i
轉身。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzCtsoalBA
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV42r9uSiVr
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVag7e4qVx
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0SdEw8Azj
我回身走去。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtedNOub0Oa
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDkFB4ec2u
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnVPRrzpi9
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHtERtZUHS
把小狗抱入懷內。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnb6vHKrVw
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ynH3lftOl
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOGkoiPXu0
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwb42Xj5L6W
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhqX94aNl1
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cU3eAf8ME
海風？海濱公園步道？401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmJU4UNdj0
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5c0Ui7lfn
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCcngfn56q
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEBrDoNjWA
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWaNXZFxhA
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhU33Lk162
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVlztWAXif
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8b9ZQZG5P
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqbZPvHCM3
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuB55FgzbTK
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdpBqKscOp
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2YiPIbR0G
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFji54GiNGq
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yYet6ToGh
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpY1cYNQa8T
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU198EZFU5F
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTm0z5kV0b0
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGqSOWCU0C
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxzOAKcy8W
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtHxLJhOGg
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLlIZaOCCl
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIp3mePTVc
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoE7yr02KU
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDysdgg9fUY
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLMX0Eju3J
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48MDlIXQUi
鬱悶何來？401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwEiaG2GgJ
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFflgEMnrZ
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5js39LmQy
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeCbvU0QTW
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqMehFYXtE
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphfT4rsC2A
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNd6KV4kz3x
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQB6N37hpfV
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8HvtrUlmE
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLR23ANzEP
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimd0VwQkG4
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDAIKB4YDJ
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YNbgPJrHF
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmzpwQJ3o6
然後呢？根本沒有然後。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ882WiIFnJ3
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLkP38SsQo
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdK0LCGpMBB
401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Gh6rfSVUu
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。401Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywBxd0Gk6O
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.9da2
