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「去哪？」348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVpLz1AjY8
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kcm8umS4a
「急事。」348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2civYhDiF
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7IqZX7uJs
「你不吃晚餐？」348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pF3KLjTXZ
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOu4OzZLnE
我沒應答，逕自出門。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNHD89gWam
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeV6nW9q3LZ
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkCgbA3RGT
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDI4IFeu4B
難以言喻的鬱悶。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tbxxXDUXj
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJovzcDZXCK
長嘆。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUNUp1PwNZ
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhc4Sr0jWC
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUIZcBoI4W
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfozvQTEsBH
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQgH3BkRwM
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9pQQedqvS
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWD064MW8w
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjOyNoNFi1
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡka2Fzq6u2u
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFhzT6KxCn
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwuH32WXMK
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaT4MAB6aN
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxkIiypKhd
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONtfksEYGX
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQgeTRJsGe
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOsJuTuw2I
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPI5bE2pR6n
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbqxRp25tj
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqEnMleyPO
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNqVtpd4lG
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2WWqXOZ0I
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46YhGeHMPF
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOjEMP45DD
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2gQmoMfAy
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPEMQGS7EB
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviEADK32i7
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVKbOTYFe9
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSAOawcomm
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1CovBDz7H
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuI34DJ8jdO
註定的。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcO2b0lPAex
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDm0Q0h6oV
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStMWf7a1I4
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaRNsHrTRW
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QmHjMsx36
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsm4RvOmSQ
停步。猶疑。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrccMXuY4M
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hUSciCsym
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkzL6x4J5w
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILpsxrN4WD
轉身。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmoBbiNEFs
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwLNxea4B1
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03SCZTVOUf
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLz2Ebb0Wd
我回身走去。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpY81ciFlVU
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GSh6lboJi
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ7WhL6MEA
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrfTu8X6rQ
把小狗抱入懷內。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYTcZtuNBC
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yuVCfMTLp
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3EycxrCI1
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNBPpT2Rzn
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSw8YOpsAct
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5Ru6fMziw
海風？海濱公園步道？348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSE7r2c9zv
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5V4vkwkyC
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvrwVwLyv3
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxv3IglYfW1
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJEAodHgkk
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZnSXSFwXf
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvU9bn8Lyuw
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuBO8Mid3l
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabvEijrBig
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1BCdGUfnK
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVII34NnNT6
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoTYbZwGlp
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vbgUZth5s
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDC5HJP83L
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQ0qw4a3ok
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eOmQhazGD
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNh3LzjXXf
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpL4EotHtU
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYcqOJYlVi
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRwZ1qmvLg
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTRGdPGTU9
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGTxxqtZlE
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcJzJFkfxK
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtW5nh6yku
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtYyXbS5Nx
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmUGposM7K
鬱悶何來？348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYW7qIXKwD
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxoCfDTu4n
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKGfxiWOzg
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5THG2HKMW
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdM1SBMW2H
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaK1duVW3S
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6TotYYghz
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QLRqLoMUz
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpGnHm7f8W
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7W6fOEPov
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVP0YiOqMHN
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnjmWkJKM4
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUeVt5Rb4e
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3YofeAyu6
然後呢？根本沒有然後。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7itOCk2IXh
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXk51Ml6cwX
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwx9ZrJlqEo
348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFzw0ti5UF
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。348Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmarqQjFEPZ
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
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