x
「去哪？」345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAThunrf6J
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwi3vVJr0W8
「急事。」345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJl6Wmca5oz
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboayK7OWP5
「你不吃晚餐？」345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEtybcjsvq
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7jSNEkfSV
我沒應答，逕自出門。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdzIvsIIcJ
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLlE51nbZD
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIRPZTax0a
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjSWukrJNI
難以言喻的鬱悶。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQZnDyJlme
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQ9jPsTf4A
長嘆。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpC2wwa82x
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9N6VdD0em2
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWg7kT6Vloo
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHg9cZ4F5TD
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4YsqhWH6U
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNg5EF4Of2q
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuKbAQ6WCl
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpkov2W7ud
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEBsSw4evT
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaqTotEGEx
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32aX8eUSCf
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMwLxK1iKX
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaU8UdcCPQE
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90JPTQ7yiC
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKmnjJGFdw
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHifuAvRovd
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zxEUWbuY7
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CRe19P7Nz
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgZhh0N01r
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dHv0b5g3y
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleHTxR2vjL
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXex4IuGc9c
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5agEa3slVZ
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9xG04MHjb
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskxON3UMNE
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2A4ja0GZLe
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9QJ7cDtSf
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEuU8btzCg
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurJkoY0ZFn
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeaGlMDCVi
註定的。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47YF0dGuH5
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiTmtDgrsA
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGoC1raYEK
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReAY5Ufumn
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhfb7raqyu
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTU3y8i72A
停步。猶疑。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxziXCUev7
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TAchhzEft
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozaw63aUzJ
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThEOzi0Elo
轉身。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGef7CbeltI
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyKQxTOSb3
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmWYiM3Oy6
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucf18GUJLS
我回身走去。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJw0u6PXZNf
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPp47i0gE6
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70IqdMj9rx
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HSVK9GjOV
把小狗抱入懷內。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BAWHnFd8q
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4krk8nCRnb
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZZTVbPrPp
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB90EB39BXf
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MR3jWPnWh
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgulEJzZCG
海風？海濱公園步道？345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNAGCvY2jd
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFNmDmfvSS
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptna2zhxRJ
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45pdwNebdb
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiL4wqf9j9f
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0I7JJ3sPbU
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqiTNRgLhT
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf54nihKGwJ
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuK6ocVpSjW
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBjRySTctg
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HmQvEw2WV
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGzF7ErB9e
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRWAdB3L6n
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnD19UZmcEe
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSvsghNhEz
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEg0RR9fj0
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSr2oI6jpbE
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjLVRGu5XF
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBtC4ApcIr
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAM0r0iuBb
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWbS2DjcrA
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfO5bWRRt5u
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwewfWE3N9
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tJmNqw2Pe
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuM1NJg9z2
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmUFJB3iKd
鬱悶何來？345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzztIxl7Vpt
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpbECI5lHR
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZM8ACyu6Kl
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviOiUetxJO
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwTPHhaYgd
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69mAmzKGid
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNfsfwo94x
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4nlIipUUr
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AFhvDO2Mz
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsZ0hARO6s
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwJhhCTkSq
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpf6XmldF5
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86SR9M8s3F
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTF9z3d0lq
然後呢？根本沒有然後。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBz2iy9vb9L
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcUBhNGsgN
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmH0O4u4dgc
345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejBNpc2wCX
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。345Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8vHEbBrGD
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns3.17.154.155da2
