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「去哪？」397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOk1xRNPMT3
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdwCEKOR4A
「急事。」397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkStuv37tC
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNcReeW3n0
「你不吃晚餐？」397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeK279jN0ZW
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2fJv5K4XF
我沒應答，逕自出門。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBLwz2zveD
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5M1xkSLvL9
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTYVskLhN2
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUY9axgSVim
難以言喻的鬱悶。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYscQUPNPu
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pLn5ppCAB
長嘆。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3FVD5Cnki
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDj94F5SLP
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUYcyXrm0z
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIidv7cVN8I
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoeOYPGIXc
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRUKcufzug
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wRfF3Id4G
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hj1gd9QVn
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEHsUnrdS4
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcX1dUbV7TP
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfn70TFa3Od
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPmd5MSjsP
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZIohNRtCL
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSeIaYZMUt
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GhisDv7x1
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaIvezWIPC
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfTLXJ08LC
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiddxBXXWjp
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgR5QDiGn6j
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwywMOdBoSE
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQuFvWIG7F
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuC0pYDnNjn
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1peHeDZoSj
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwzMDbLDfC
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbnNnmv8lk
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xfmv70KUT
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6qMfJgYQv
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclpHz53O9f
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbahrX66G7
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAYev44d6R
註定的。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAp0BG3lHxk
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolTg0medxF
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERYaFqA0qt
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJhVFivX6B
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40e4FObbaV
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rtbx70VG7
停步。猶疑。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1ddx9q1dh
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeRL01ccge
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmK37yFj9m
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYU8NDKe4dO
轉身。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaGHwgbrTh
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsXceqUVWg
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSh7etlomI
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yVMQLA6Ih
我回身走去。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWxE9bo9YP
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiz8Akm2ADI
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIH6gvqZgm
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuU1la2uDSf
把小狗抱入懷內。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1k39lsWjdc
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSsp1bLqVU
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYaWdVLB80
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAITNZFQ7h
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXS7ziRJp2a
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcaz6pmflY
海風？海濱公園步道？397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0W23BMIlC
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡej3UJmyhVR
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDy7OtNuuqf
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72D7mMUMR2
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RAEHC7a0w
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGchr68Ra2j
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndIlXmPcjC
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WG2usXLec
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxMA99ioKI
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFsOFjArbf
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7Hh7o5Vkp
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIIipxXF4J
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfJJvSLEuT
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoGpcuoOWT
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvvUnSjroR
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzG1SjqluH
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsunrFG04qZ
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3YKi5UlPy
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclAqEv5Jcz
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIofTjtTyHm
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAveTCCoJx
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlTdrGPWZp
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrDxCFwY6P
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1pxEbdKJU
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBL3NSUm0lR
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvyWORwBwa
鬱悶何來？397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3P9CRcD5Z
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9qlydc47x
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgmZvePDnv
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vq7KaXKiW
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPVoh0Tis6
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPgvqEJAg1
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhp3gESJvS
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVr41oOJhlR
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7UjesSpXi
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4D8I98bUc
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eYFnBOEZi
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzml64Mbo52
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFh8OkQWmrZ
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4F7JzMJbx
然後呢？根本沒有然後。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJjrghvUdE
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX00L96b3bc
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7ivG6fGP5
397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq02sMVVskR
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。397Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHbB7usQQy
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.209da2
