Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEWo58fHcU
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To lift his spirits.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6hLmPkdmp
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrCMvpRZX9
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Claude.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy7MSZN4j9
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2RmBu9tQe
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...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOU4wziPqH7
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Demeter wasn't working.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ09b7WAkIR
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQs6p8NW4Pd
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtr7Xszj8Y
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagsfsX5AQi
554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5YTBTITEP
...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjUFXTiPpo
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"Bison."554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuW6AXXH3Qf
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Bread is like the sun.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRanXXhKtK
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfW4Yi9yetr
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBUKBjs08e
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtdG3gINAc
554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkL325AiE5y
...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYJEPr5ObN
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Its butt.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOo2EBm2X0D
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifMVCmbgCI
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGs7MBughHw
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...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UXzAjYz8S
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First, a tractor.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZ71D3rUdw
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeL54RTY5Pw
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Gravy.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanbTwdhDZC
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhKqvyRbNj
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...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepaboxNqlb
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Now he's a rockstar.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHEgkOd4qn
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXT7vuWlKf
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Do trees poop?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuluCx72j9
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...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBIrdkL9LI
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGapzJFVcoj
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kh4lZ6kyM
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...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhtNpFqrOG
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4uisXF36d
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgBbLGn60S
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...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzjI51XE4u
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She couldn't control her pupils.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BVBQD7iZV
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What do peppers do when they're angry?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSohVTfdgh
554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaZmErR0WH
...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhjvMusrdm
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They get jalapeño face.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaih4S0QEW
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Today someone told me I am average.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWOFEqGUpR
554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEystxtiOP9
...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO8N3h9Xqo
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I told them that's just mean.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eRULnbEhk
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAuv0JFXGX
554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPQp5jckNr
...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5r3UyrEVq
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Pointless.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdFf7mLa0a
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIg8zIczhkr
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJ691V8eh1
554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmDGvskPey
...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ718cR32OmW
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrseJHzHZD
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Lt5sLxQVm
554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYGmpJgtGK
...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6kOgSL8LX
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I tried yesterday but I mist.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4O0504Jf6
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qwflTT7JN
554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnuQwfQ2eR
...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhg0Gcquzp5
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1tSZr6bJC
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfx65JL4YX
554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaAKzHMlnT
...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRVlk8y0SJ
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9gIkgJ029
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What has four wheels and flies?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtucJ5itUl
554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBd9dgHlpE9
...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1MhptVJL6
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A garbage truck.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLtqYJOy6m
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9960Fvu4Ak
554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY61SVjGXY0
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...so I pushed her over.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1IxQc7yog
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQgHCx5VVJ
554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhxm4DlZVn
...554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2u7g4dAiy
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ445zFpIxvu
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554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxdX39TZyd
Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.176da2
