Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?260Please respect copyright.PENANADSia0MVet1
260Please respect copyright.PENANAw22yL1iE4G
...260Please respect copyright.PENANApGWZocKuOh
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To lift his spirits.260Please respect copyright.PENANAcE3I1qUWHG
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?260Please respect copyright.PENANADVvCg2auWg
260Please respect copyright.PENANAuoBNJODLYu
...260Please respect copyright.PENANALiArsXe9Wy
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Claude.260Please respect copyright.PENANAOi6yUbeDE3
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?260Please respect copyright.PENANAzbYPbhdz0L
260Please respect copyright.PENANArRWJ8xSpyo
...260Please respect copyright.PENANA0SLxcE9lGF
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Demeter wasn't working.260Please respect copyright.PENANAyFx531K5Ia
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"260Please respect copyright.PENANA8XNLcqlv5a
---260Please respect copyright.PENANA0ERC7bXnm8
Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.260Please respect copyright.PENANAJxu9RxQMxG
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?260Please respect copyright.PENANArTSfJB9CRX
260Please respect copyright.PENANAFgRttHJrfT
...260Please respect copyright.PENANA0I2IKPZ7Rg
260Please respect copyright.PENANAtOpvYKAYMc
"Bison."260Please respect copyright.PENANAdBf9spyKHC
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Bread is like the sun.260Please respect copyright.PENANAtXjqRvDX4D
260Please respect copyright.PENANAxYk7dAotW8
...260Please respect copyright.PENANAFjltsEI3KA
260Please respect copyright.PENANAHilw88sMTA
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.260Please respect copyright.PENANAjaADJmRFsC
---260Please respect copyright.PENANAZAI0NnuDDe
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."260Please respect copyright.PENANA5JnfKpd6Js
---260Please respect copyright.PENANAQA3pFmhd7v
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?260Please respect copyright.PENANAZCLSFqWLDU
260Please respect copyright.PENANA0lNNXShFHj
...260Please respect copyright.PENANAZP1sCoq2Yv
260Please respect copyright.PENANApCzYWmyVph
Its butt.260Please respect copyright.PENANApnlnukQa39
---260Please respect copyright.PENANAkIAtdu578g
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."260Please respect copyright.PENANA8qhamFTAAO
---260Please respect copyright.PENANAZzVD50xu1G
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?260Please respect copyright.PENANAfc6JcGmkzV
260Please respect copyright.PENANAfeGiEi9PBi
...260Please respect copyright.PENANAcDOMtBwe23
260Please respect copyright.PENANAV1E3nRsPsw
First, a tractor.260Please respect copyright.PENANAsBBy9JFTdD
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...260Please respect copyright.PENANAL2eZsC7zcB
260Please respect copyright.PENANAKbUVf4CIz3
260Please respect copyright.PENANAdOJPvk2UJ5
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Gravy.260Please respect copyright.PENANAkLXXxG41Ze
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.260Please respect copyright.PENANAr0lBjodmPT
260Please respect copyright.PENANA7vZEfoaPC7
...260Please respect copyright.PENANA5L0jFHnHov
260Please respect copyright.PENANAvNditBBsIj
Now he's a rockstar.260Please respect copyright.PENANA4bHOfp0B9E
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."260Please respect copyright.PENANAP2oPDGBidK
---260Please respect copyright.PENANAHLBx57aV1V
Do trees poop?260Please respect copyright.PENANAMHJFSlv18L
260Please respect copyright.PENANAJyeAvJdbxn
...260Please respect copyright.PENANA1OPXBLyF1l
260Please respect copyright.PENANANdQqDSJ6As
Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?260Please respect copyright.PENANAKoMC1PFRko
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?260Please respect copyright.PENANAbOpYXdQCq9
260Please respect copyright.PENANArY4sKzxLYV
...260Please respect copyright.PENANA1xfnTDlYIV
260Please respect copyright.PENANAlHLMUHVYXx
A "do-you-think-he-saurus."260Please respect copyright.PENANAWKFbaRPmwa
---260Please respect copyright.PENANAK5pKwoUPua
Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?260Please respect copyright.PENANAa7tTAnUMIo
260Please respect copyright.PENANAF4nEHLcwv4
...260Please respect copyright.PENANAIfbZOLqjdm
260Please respect copyright.PENANAdrWyqjI5wg
She couldn't control her pupils.260Please respect copyright.PENANAEIZh4viH4n
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What do peppers do when they're angry?260Please respect copyright.PENANAnFEjrskdOE
260Please respect copyright.PENANAGyizsETrki
...260Please respect copyright.PENANAACmhzo7BuB
260Please respect copyright.PENANA4MpjyMKt9F
They get jalapeño face.260Please respect copyright.PENANAAbxxsCs2o1
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Today someone told me I am average.260Please respect copyright.PENANAUo1MV6PBsS
260Please respect copyright.PENANAQJRYhowT4L
...260Please respect copyright.PENANA3SdHLcIRfJ
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I told them that's just mean.260Please respect copyright.PENANAmkzB2pgDlp
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?260Please respect copyright.PENANAhCj4D1yZOE
260Please respect copyright.PENANAQI9Lp7Ip0a
...260Please respect copyright.PENANAIjQPfeGQ0H
260Please respect copyright.PENANAlJkKvN7m1M
Pointless.260Please respect copyright.PENANApfabGXoFfz
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."260Please respect copyright.PENANALsfbX4xQow
---260Please respect copyright.PENANAivTAEni0Sw
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?260Please respect copyright.PENANAX7yPT6aIwi
260Please respect copyright.PENANAjNMqrATLYG
...260Please respect copyright.PENANAmgPVqugC5m
260Please respect copyright.PENANAVzBmfh3HBM
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.260Please respect copyright.PENANA2wkaS8iLJu
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?260Please respect copyright.PENANAN3rJkSPKQh
260Please respect copyright.PENANASnop2tGuZO
...260Please respect copyright.PENANAxWu2DljM4D
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I tried yesterday but I mist.260Please respect copyright.PENANAhnEb4ig2UT
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?260Please respect copyright.PENANAnXnWikAgr0
260Please respect copyright.PENANAP9quVpdA1Z
...260Please respect copyright.PENANADxhVXMpZTc
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.260Please respect copyright.PENANAYpzGNdnwEH
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?260Please respect copyright.PENANAjozSfwG1xj
260Please respect copyright.PENANAlgkHFcyMJx
...260Please respect copyright.PENANA6HyovsRDrF
260Please respect copyright.PENANAmYyFr0uyDu
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.260Please respect copyright.PENANA5RoxBAWcJU
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What has four wheels and flies?260Please respect copyright.PENANAsvRERiX2ro
260Please respect copyright.PENANAioLcTTVope
...260Please respect copyright.PENANA0dgtWs2Qr7
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A garbage truck.260Please respect copyright.PENANA3ZEZFRtvAA
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...260Please respect copyright.PENANAkbtfXijH12
260Please respect copyright.PENANAuXM8ueTg8u
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260Please respect copyright.PENANAHj8J6g6CvU
...so I pushed her over.260Please respect copyright.PENANAMEIyYcHTgS
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?260Please respect copyright.PENANAfNkmhbojfr
260Please respect copyright.PENANA1JEuXUpcGr
...260Please respect copyright.PENANAnnhGoAQKMW
260Please respect copyright.PENANAh7kQWLwO4B
If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.260Please respect copyright.PENANAeOXZKqvXZZ
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
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