Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftxls34gcv
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To lift his spirits.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmuiwb1tUn
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7r6EXpGszc
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Claude.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qxkgZOwja
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfAyibwikZ
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaF9vg3CcY
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Demeter wasn't working.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWjvJzCeVG
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtQdbSAbBr
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUynS0VeyWI
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCSDNG6jNn
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NbjKI67Qj
...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRwHuVbwmI
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"Bison."561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFW0RjHnZPj
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Bread is like the sun.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDCyJ1C0si
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7577ZcLuh
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNm9c8AgcYS
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWX5G84GcF
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfcsmEp0LD
...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kLteq1Ucn
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Its butt.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ioTTTq66O
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdG9PHy8DwW
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kQ3fpPRjj
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...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGdcQNcdiu
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First, a tractor.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8H0A5Fcxe
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFsJY16gVS
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Gravy.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLsnKky9Sd
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7Bd6tdm9y
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...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3jPGTcBDU
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Now he's a rockstar.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPuqombCxS
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wPtvhewED
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Do trees poop?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTLmm8Op9H
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvDbJTp4Qq
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O5hOBNfgu
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHy1RtmnLF3
...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJiaXY1s6B
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkHZKvClOx
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZg7a0Fqh4L
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...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkaw8ciPtP
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She couldn't control her pupils.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxYZhYVU8o
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What do peppers do when they're angry?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cGGqOOp4y
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...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NuroCt2B8
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They get jalapeño face.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpLN58ADcv
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Today someone told me I am average.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqp2pNmJc1
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...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mQXbAj0be
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I told them that's just mean.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUbCPyErME
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkv7raMtm3
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...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCA1O4qWoa
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Pointless.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6MD5HWIwh
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4q3yme64ZG
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvzzo8TYUy
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...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Qsdo9DcHn
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEjwT03mCb
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPbeHkATgU
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...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh32tcsMHip
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I tried yesterday but I mist.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtabHOTitGM
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkNvK7l9LV
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJez79B6PV6
...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtw8fjZwKMq
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJb1J0JxBiF
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9aFbS9Wbt
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoua5McZoy7
...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDD7UWYamLy
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0TYF1GF45
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What has four wheels and flies?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcrJKaJzWa
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...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHATp8b9Ho
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A garbage truck.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBklxxXk8x
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnc9wC8HmKP
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUSLZDhCG8
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuzgSBuTIF
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...so I pushed her over.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfZyd6CjCw
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSKhKhrJbD
561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6S7TJbwNpB
...561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0vaVr66EA
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmafftPXQU
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561Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtBYdDK2qe
Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns216.73.216.94da2
