Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynEpp1FAhi
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To lift his spirits.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXBfdCxIKM
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCMD1GMZMt
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Claude.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKrpOT87Dj
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdOWEl4yRp
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Demeter wasn't working.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIK36lF3w7j
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9pCwmvNAy
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Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGjeGMIfZN
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvNw22rnOh
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"Bison."494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9MW3b5abR
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Bread is like the sun.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Knz36RnyC
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2TDVh6wlX
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmsgmt4c07
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoR4Vwrh99L
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Its butt.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6iqA0bTSW
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lV7nwi26A
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDg8IWZsYbi
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First, a tractor.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GNALdOThv
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyxMv4XeMz
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Gravy.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlil02RIwVO
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5DL0Aix72
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Now he's a rockstar.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6K2eeII14
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWm95akk8l
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Do trees poop?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9T4wsj2tr
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUttBeTzWiG
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2tBtUkoBr
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcW2m948a8
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kb71qBrZe
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She couldn't control her pupils.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPC9DpqHQr
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What do peppers do when they're angry?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8EuL3gcht
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They get jalapeño face.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgU7dsTTl58
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Today someone told me I am average.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNs90KSt2Y
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I told them that's just mean.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNYIj9b0kx
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOjUn5eJKd
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Pointless.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAkE9YcKXd
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgY23a5ZeM
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡur7qod73k5
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlFJEegWEh
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJ34qW3bDY
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I tried yesterday but I mist.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUL8kyqGgpL
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsoopn3gTz
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwcXhiqpYP
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBssDJ625u3
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqKneELXrJ
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What has four wheels and flies?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvXK2uCx1S
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A garbage truck.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRUz4cfPqA
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7lpqdJtbe
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...so I pushed her over.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxiLXeBmTt
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrYK3f071X
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.494Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBmhjU6Waj
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Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
ns18.117.132.49da2
