Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.
Why did the ghost use the elevator?263Please respect copyright.PENANAckrScNzlS0
263Please respect copyright.PENANAqYaN4eUOET
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAnLBCLCZ2Yx
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To lift his spirits.263Please respect copyright.PENANA99FUcUkUEI
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?263Please respect copyright.PENANAjSuetQKaxM
263Please respect copyright.PENANAQKR0wtMidM
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAMiiGzcNAZE
263Please respect copyright.PENANAXOxiElRysZ
Claude.263Please respect copyright.PENANAIF3kCdWuNO
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?263Please respect copyright.PENANA9knnexMDLl
263Please respect copyright.PENANAMObTd3GaDz
...263Please respect copyright.PENANA6nbmj9bEvY
263Please respect copyright.PENANAfJVBoFH9Xc
Demeter wasn't working.263Please respect copyright.PENANABNLOnWvN6O
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAyBqLXpRAKI
Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.
He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"263Please respect copyright.PENANAIWGd0H3qsK
---263Please respect copyright.PENANA5qgAVoDRbg
Genie: What is your final wish?
Kid: I wish I were you.
Genie: Weurd, but alrught.263Please respect copyright.PENANA1PUFuU4Xbj
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAStGTrjJZ13
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?263Please respect copyright.PENANAGS6GLbDqOt
263Please respect copyright.PENANAPmGAyrWFce
...263Please respect copyright.PENANA9Nio6iV2TI
263Please respect copyright.PENANACttH0nFVHd
"Bison."263Please respect copyright.PENANAJNGVjjnCBr
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAzQKVVaMk5k
Bread is like the sun.263Please respect copyright.PENANA0DthIRsEKh
263Please respect copyright.PENANAaqjpTsdA5Y
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAHEy33mtDtt
263Please respect copyright.PENANALj70cWh84F
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.263Please respect copyright.PENANAuFgXV5UxTz
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAKCV4oP77Eo
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."263Please respect copyright.PENANASWBGnYzweu
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAxokUVVvJHf
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?263Please respect copyright.PENANAM4dCBXcbH9
263Please respect copyright.PENANA7nv1LRkkYL
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAGjYiMpep73
263Please respect copyright.PENANAo4OpBr6xG4
Its butt.263Please respect copyright.PENANAfgB6MJeO1c
---263Please respect copyright.PENANADHKF8nP613
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."263Please respect copyright.PENANAegxukh2YRn
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAekaduHfTgR
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?263Please respect copyright.PENANAxl4rRy3M5x
263Please respect copyright.PENANAk5Z0jJqjNu
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAAJdCE2M3eY
263Please respect copyright.PENANAADD1OuB9jA
First, a tractor.263Please respect copyright.PENANA9j80jQTyjA
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAFSzST5C5u0
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...263Please respect copyright.PENANAeIPeBiCKcL
263Please respect copyright.PENANAfiM1XArSi0
263Please respect copyright.PENANAbttRcR5j5v
263Please respect copyright.PENANAfmLPuBuTit
Gravy.263Please respect copyright.PENANASDkBxSx9O1
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAXnJK1H0lCU
Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.263Please respect copyright.PENANAYEcDqHwpRo
263Please respect copyright.PENANAasReK8zAkv
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAqieYwhVOTj
263Please respect copyright.PENANAprYX9SDmYj
Now he's a rockstar.263Please respect copyright.PENANA0Bt0Vd62m7
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAuqAsq0ZANP
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."
The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"
The doctor replied, "Denise."
The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"
The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."263Please respect copyright.PENANA0CjP8Q6EbF
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAhaf4FD3y3s
Do trees poop?263Please respect copyright.PENANAvHNdOZ11uZ
263Please respect copyright.PENANA6vzL0qDfDl
...263Please respect copyright.PENANASH5mFAG8f4
263Please respect copyright.PENANARYy7qkZ6Q4
Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?263Please respect copyright.PENANAa0nlrHz1iM
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAaYwLeXJbIh
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?263Please respect copyright.PENANAH21PxSjxWY
263Please respect copyright.PENANAmIBfj3XSS7
...263Please respect copyright.PENANA573vDrX4rL
263Please respect copyright.PENANASRaGJqBPXp
A "do-you-think-he-saurus."263Please respect copyright.PENANAGAaQlqcSfn
---263Please respect copyright.PENANANzMhjgsa5L
Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?263Please respect copyright.PENANA3uGYqm8WS4
263Please respect copyright.PENANACoZovJyG23
...263Please respect copyright.PENANA2n0RmBnpup
263Please respect copyright.PENANA0I5kGRz8Lb
She couldn't control her pupils.263Please respect copyright.PENANAFqL8Z4Ciko
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAkHyVaf53IU
What do peppers do when they're angry?263Please respect copyright.PENANAfqVfvBFH4D
263Please respect copyright.PENANAWHmqrMqx6G
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAOGmxkqxKf3
263Please respect copyright.PENANAFWz0xpxipn
They get jalapeño face.263Please respect copyright.PENANADzAqPyOywt
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Today someone told me I am average.263Please respect copyright.PENANAnhKpSAQ7AB
263Please respect copyright.PENANA3QqDv6DJsa
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAO6JmfWaLE2
263Please respect copyright.PENANANfczJky16N
I told them that's just mean.263Please respect copyright.PENANAPvhSWDSpAL
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?263Please respect copyright.PENANA82cxeNiIWk
263Please respect copyright.PENANA5O3hhgqNUc
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAqy10kWg5UI
263Please respect copyright.PENANAM9lylXOnzy
Pointless.263Please respect copyright.PENANADY3iTA856s
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAlvS6Zu9HZk
Dude 1: "Hey bro?"
Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"
Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"
Dude 2: "Brochure."263Please respect copyright.PENANAUSdPsJMWGB
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAzZwHKpjfcu
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?263Please respect copyright.PENANAPNUEqqvGqd
263Please respect copyright.PENANAn19Vp95I1t
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAjOl9ZXTvvi
263Please respect copyright.PENANAvpOdcuITTD
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.263Please respect copyright.PENANAd75cydTbO2
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?263Please respect copyright.PENANAsNXpzP9qzY
263Please respect copyright.PENANAr2f4fFYSMy
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAAIb6qbf79E
263Please respect copyright.PENANAxq0juhcgDP
I tried yesterday but I mist.263Please respect copyright.PENANAR0CTIpDHFp
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?263Please respect copyright.PENANAz4qAxeOMQY
263Please respect copyright.PENANAJeHVmin5G2
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAdt72fZJ03O
263Please respect copyright.PENANAmOTlPk2nmD
You can only ran—it's always past tents.263Please respect copyright.PENANAW6Kb6t3Cih
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?263Please respect copyright.PENANAeir3fZCsUc
263Please respect copyright.PENANA62oW9FcB9c
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAs9tEZ7qLG7
263Please respect copyright.PENANAixFswd0YFK
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.263Please respect copyright.PENANAmTU9yr0ii6
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAgm9Q4EPN2b
What has four wheels and flies?263Please respect copyright.PENANACHOy6jQWuD
263Please respect copyright.PENANAI6NjLIwaQY
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAYJGeRSTtBK
263Please respect copyright.PENANAuE17qmlzYh
A garbage truck.263Please respect copyright.PENANAlnJbyY6bNI
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAtAKsDKJJ6j
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...263Please respect copyright.PENANAL6vhIxvfxw
263Please respect copyright.PENANAATCK1Dw15M
263Please respect copyright.PENANAaMeQkwJQsI
263Please respect copyright.PENANAqlAUcOjpDg
...so I pushed her over.263Please respect copyright.PENANAYXW69IAL57
---263Please respect copyright.PENANAUHWizOmLeX
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?263Please respect copyright.PENANAldE0cHrMIJ
263Please respect copyright.PENANAVRJtRXolFr
...263Please respect copyright.PENANAlqcRQAs9Ip
263Please respect copyright.PENANAJfLjmiZ8Lp
If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.263Please respect copyright.PENANAeIHxNZmgOl
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263Please respect copyright.PENANAXYPjRX6GD4
Uh, yeah. That's all I got.
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