廉頗是趙國一位優秀的愛國將領,曾率趙軍打敗齊軍,名聞諸侯。藺相如則是趙國一位名不見經傳的———刀客。70Please respect copyright.PENANAxHjRC7P07o
趙國的趙王喜歡收藏,聽說楚國有塊兒奇石。趙王用重金買下楚國那塊圓圓的、光光的、滑滑的,還能在夜晚發光的奇石。據說,這塊奇石是一個姓和的人發現的,所以稱之為——和氏璧。70Please respect copyright.PENANAC0EtsEfUey
和氏璧這事秦王也聽到了。秦王也喜歡收藏,便派人見趙王,說:原拿十五座城交換奇石。70Please respect copyright.PENANAqGOsC63zKb
「15座城交換?少了點吧?」趙王說。70Please respect copyright.PENANAP3yhKpLo9Y
「老大,我看不少了。不交換的話,秦國會攻趙,我害怕秦軍啊!」廉頗。70Please respect copyright.PENANAfHzUs0izz5
「諸位,奇石給秦,怕秦不給15座城;奇石不給秦,又怕秦軍攻趙。這可怎麽辦啊?」趙王說。70Please respect copyright.PENANAx5u1LYn0pI
「這個……這個……」群臣議論又議論。70Please respect copyright.PENANAfTVcXN6L44
「大王,要不~~~~~~奇石白給秦王算了。」廉頗555555的痛哭。70Please respect copyright.PENANAptBKX44rmy
「咳,這事讓我擺平吧!」 藺相如說道。70Please respect copyright.PENANAdn5t3POmYX
「你……你只是個刀客。」70Please respect copyright.PENANA4cPvOjHO16
「一人之辯強於百萬之師,三寸之舌重於九鼎之寶。刀客,只是我的表面,我的內面則是一個充滿無數智慧的——說客。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAjvjzuGMdvH
「好!讓你出使秦國,期盼你用這塊奇石成功和秦交換。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAEJjZGM8Pll
藺相如至秦見到秦王,一亮奇石……70Please respect copyright.PENANAUG2iD0dTxJ
「哇!恐龍蛋!」秦王驚呼、歡呼著抱在懷裏。70Please respect copyright.PENANAaIU7tK8PBt
「恐龍蛋?」群臣默默有語。70Please respect copyright.PENANABBmqS57qpO
藺相如心想:「管他什麽球蛋呢,只要這次交易成交就OK!」。70Please respect copyright.PENANAq2EN40Kahg
「寶貝啊,寶貝!」秦王抱著奇石讓大臣和老婆們看了又看,看了又看……根本不提15座城交換的事。70Please respect copyright.PENANAVOysifZa3I
「嗖——!」藺相如向奇石發出一件暗器。70Please respect copyright.PENANAW8fucbELkz
「秦王,這塊奇石上有個黑點。」藺相如說。70Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZIOFAEoVk
「黑點?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAkaOGriZ3XX
「我指給你看。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAwZzCawfAAz
相如趁機一把搶回奇石,高高舉過頭頂……70Please respect copyright.PENANA8IzalJnqKk
「老兄,你這是做什麽?」秦王問。70Please respect copyright.PENANAA1tD5pWXfX
「十五座城你還換不換?不換我就摔了奇石!」 藺相如。70Please respect copyright.PENANABH01HIJR6N
「換換換換換換,別傷害我的寶貝!」秦王下令,畫出15座城的版圖歸屬趙國。70Please respect copyright.PENANAPeqB6heu2V
藺相如要走,秦王攔住他,問道:「這恐龍蛋哪有黑點兒?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAFoREfOIY2f
「黑點是我的暗器,我已經替你擦掉。」70Please respect copyright.PENANA3tlURfk0zB
「你的暗器是……?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAJp3ijsyEtU
「鼻屎。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAoy9iWEj0XY
…………70Please respect copyright.PENANAP5pC7J3cxn
秦趙兩國和平交換,雙方都感覺物有所值,秦王邀趙王在聖池共浴。趙王很久沒洗澡了,爽快的答應了秦王的邀請。70Please respect copyright.PENANApjPb1qLjqL
秦王、趙王來到聖池。70Please respect copyright.PENANAInrnjMK0r0
「噗通」一聲,秦王脫光了第一個下水。70Please respect copyright.PENANAprbvaxJtbH
「噗通」也一聲,趙王也入水中。70Please respect copyright.PENANAA1O0p6dlPY
「老趙,你幫我搓搓背。」趙王給秦王搓了幾搓。70Please respect copyright.PENANAXd5SCLwr4h
秦王的史官叫寫到:X年X月X日,趙王為秦王搓背。70Please respect copyright.PENANAaPbCGVOXq5
「老秦,你幫我挫挫腳。」趙王說道。70Please respect copyright.PENANAlMGvW8hyQB
「啊!什麽?你讓我搓腳?!」秦王大怒。70Please respect copyright.PENANA5njwyhQbkf
此刻,藺相如悄悄潛入水中,遊近秦王,「哢」的一聲,抓住秦王的老二。70Please respect copyright.PENANAF0zxo3TDWF
「你到底搓不搓腳?」藺相如問道。70Please respect copyright.PENANAirRExVDeqq
「搓!搓!搓!~~~~~~輕點抓啊!」秦王的老二被藺相如抓著,為趙王搓腳。70Please respect copyright.PENANAnkVPEAaXHC
趙的史官叫寫道:X年X月X日,秦王為趙王搓腳。
奇石交換,聖池共浴,藺相如的官職連生X級。他這麽已升,和廉頗的官職大小高低一樣了。70Please respect copyright.PENANAyw265bcKBK
「Tmd!藺相如靠扔鼻屎和抓別人老二升官,怎麽能和我官職相同?見到他,我一定扁他!」廉頗。70Please respect copyright.PENANAUlqAP4DpG8
這一天,廉頗恰遇藺相如,兩人都駕駛的馬車。廉頗加快車速,準備把藺相如的馬車撞翻。70Please respect copyright.PENANAB9kiyaCE1O
兩車眼見就要撞上,「忽地」廉頗的馬車突然改了方向,藺相如開著馬車跑了。70Please respect copyright.PENANAyotTQEHfM5
廉頗以往扁人一撞就撞倒對方了,這次怎麽突然急轉而失撞?70Please respect copyright.PENANAArWc8wIY2p
廉頗對自己的馬車進行了嚴肅認證的檢驗,個個零件、部件都結結實實的,沒什麽出毛病的地方。機會還多著呢,走著瞧,早晚讓他人仰馬翻。70Please respect copyright.PENANARPTnaqjpJn
第二次撞,又失撞。第三次撞,又失撞。第四次撞,又…………70Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1s11jcSsC
廉頗沒辦法了,555555的痛哭。70Please respect copyright.PENANAf4TXIAiiA0
「將軍,你去親自問問藺相如吧?」一個參將說。70Please respect copyright.PENANAzThEZjCgBi
「好吧!為增加我的扁人經驗,我去問問。」70Please respect copyright.PENANA6okq7NuXby
這一天,廉頗脫下上衣,身後背上無數根長長的金條,來到藺相如門前。70Please respect copyright.PENANAblHDX0yjdV
「愚笨之人不知我的馬車怎麽撞不上你的馬車。請告訴我,我身背的金條全部歸你!」廉頗說。70Please respect copyright.PENANA8lyc0yqOrm
「唉——!」藺相如一聲長嘆,說:「你靠撞車扁人,也的學點科學啊。」70Please respect copyright.PENANAdkyzOCvtta
「科學?」廉頗問。70Please respect copyright.PENANAinF2YcHdxm
「磁石你知道嗎?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAzuSN6vGY6b
「磁石?」70Please respect copyright.PENANAPY9S4WuhLw
「磁石同性相斥,異性相吸。你的馬車下被我掛了塊磁石,是雄性的;我的馬車下也掛了一塊磁石,也是雄性的。你怎麽能接近我撞我啊?」70Please respect copyright.PENANA6qv9GUVIvX
「噢~~~~~~」廉頗點頭。70Please respect copyright.PENANA7rz0kIKjY2
「從現在起,我投戎從筆,我去學科學了!」廉頗說完要走。70Please respect copyright.PENANAKN4AoQA3zR
「金條!金條!」藺相如叫道。70Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6gqQrpJe6
「拿去吧!」廉頗後背的無數根金條全給了藺相如。好讓人羨慕啊!70Please respect copyright.PENANApVZEy1k2sn
70Please respect copyright.PENANASLkvlD5Hbl