廉頗是趙國一位優秀的愛國將領,曾率趙軍打敗齊軍,名聞諸侯。藺相如則是趙國一位名不見經傳的———刀客。53Please respect copyright.PENANANiaKBNbF3z
趙國的趙王喜歡收藏,聽說楚國有塊兒奇石。趙王用重金買下楚國那塊圓圓的、光光的、滑滑的,還能在夜晚發光的奇石。據說,這塊奇石是一個姓和的人發現的,所以稱之為——和氏璧。53Please respect copyright.PENANAmjFIr6TEXp
和氏璧這事秦王也聽到了。秦王也喜歡收藏,便派人見趙王,說:原拿十五座城交換奇石。53Please respect copyright.PENANAUVepQnjXbR
「15座城交換?少了點吧?」趙王說。53Please respect copyright.PENANAei8MJRK9qn
「老大,我看不少了。不交換的話,秦國會攻趙,我害怕秦軍啊!」廉頗。53Please respect copyright.PENANA12rVs66HJv
「諸位,奇石給秦,怕秦不給15座城;奇石不給秦,又怕秦軍攻趙。這可怎麽辦啊?」趙王說。53Please respect copyright.PENANAAsLrZIfd9Z
「這個……這個……」群臣議論又議論。53Please respect copyright.PENANAxipYywely4
「大王,要不~~~~~~奇石白給秦王算了。」廉頗555555的痛哭。53Please respect copyright.PENANACC0Uzz1TS5
「咳,這事讓我擺平吧!」 藺相如說道。53Please respect copyright.PENANASbgmd6pKVC
「你……你只是個刀客。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAGzLiTO9DPR
「一人之辯強於百萬之師,三寸之舌重於九鼎之寶。刀客,只是我的表面,我的內面則是一個充滿無數智慧的——說客。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAnzM7rFm0Ob
「好!讓你出使秦國,期盼你用這塊奇石成功和秦交換。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAWH9Vtazug8
藺相如至秦見到秦王,一亮奇石……53Please respect copyright.PENANA1FVGhNTz8U
「哇!恐龍蛋!」秦王驚呼、歡呼著抱在懷裏。53Please respect copyright.PENANA4fQsyA8uEa
「恐龍蛋?」群臣默默有語。53Please respect copyright.PENANAsb5GfqvEdz
藺相如心想:「管他什麽球蛋呢,只要這次交易成交就OK!」。53Please respect copyright.PENANAzJ2LkMRZ20
「寶貝啊,寶貝!」秦王抱著奇石讓大臣和老婆們看了又看,看了又看……根本不提15座城交換的事。53Please respect copyright.PENANAy4GvZgI2QD
「嗖——!」藺相如向奇石發出一件暗器。53Please respect copyright.PENANAmQoaGshdR3
「秦王,這塊奇石上有個黑點。」藺相如說。53Please respect copyright.PENANAcU3PyHqVxK
「黑點?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAPZoobyH1tM
「我指給你看。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAMN0Zj3Iysc
相如趁機一把搶回奇石,高高舉過頭頂……53Please respect copyright.PENANAR4d3t09aBA
「老兄,你這是做什麽?」秦王問。53Please respect copyright.PENANAzbIu0IeA5m
「十五座城你還換不換?不換我就摔了奇石!」 藺相如。53Please respect copyright.PENANAOUJlEV5db5
「換換換換換換,別傷害我的寶貝!」秦王下令,畫出15座城的版圖歸屬趙國。53Please respect copyright.PENANA8tlHW1pNkP
藺相如要走,秦王攔住他,問道:「這恐龍蛋哪有黑點兒?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAXyTUOiI0lk
「黑點是我的暗器,我已經替你擦掉。」53Please respect copyright.PENANARP39OYw6BJ
「你的暗器是……?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAvccyscYBCk
「鼻屎。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAYe0L5T862i
…………53Please respect copyright.PENANAfAc13v3r7T
秦趙兩國和平交換,雙方都感覺物有所值,秦王邀趙王在聖池共浴。趙王很久沒洗澡了,爽快的答應了秦王的邀請。53Please respect copyright.PENANAYpZexUCcyf
秦王、趙王來到聖池。53Please respect copyright.PENANAiBgmRFSSaU
「噗通」一聲,秦王脫光了第一個下水。53Please respect copyright.PENANAkdAyfI3dDu
「噗通」也一聲,趙王也入水中。53Please respect copyright.PENANA3kY8BzhtyC
「老趙,你幫我搓搓背。」趙王給秦王搓了幾搓。53Please respect copyright.PENANANCPWKQsgcU
秦王的史官叫寫到:X年X月X日,趙王為秦王搓背。53Please respect copyright.PENANAjP5PfVxd4M
「老秦,你幫我挫挫腳。」趙王說道。53Please respect copyright.PENANA3AbjWtvTOQ
「啊!什麽?你讓我搓腳?!」秦王大怒。53Please respect copyright.PENANAczRnY6mNTz
此刻,藺相如悄悄潛入水中,遊近秦王,「哢」的一聲,抓住秦王的老二。53Please respect copyright.PENANA2SHo0KwwdY
「你到底搓不搓腳?」藺相如問道。53Please respect copyright.PENANAplgwqh9vHl
「搓!搓!搓!~~~~~~輕點抓啊!」秦王的老二被藺相如抓著,為趙王搓腳。53Please respect copyright.PENANAKspbcvdpMc
趙的史官叫寫道:X年X月X日,秦王為趙王搓腳。
奇石交換,聖池共浴,藺相如的官職連生X級。他這麽已升,和廉頗的官職大小高低一樣了。53Please respect copyright.PENANAgWx3UXBTVJ
「Tmd!藺相如靠扔鼻屎和抓別人老二升官,怎麽能和我官職相同?見到他,我一定扁他!」廉頗。53Please respect copyright.PENANAWszJTpwnaz
這一天,廉頗恰遇藺相如,兩人都駕駛的馬車。廉頗加快車速,準備把藺相如的馬車撞翻。53Please respect copyright.PENANAy89mjdvflq
兩車眼見就要撞上,「忽地」廉頗的馬車突然改了方向,藺相如開著馬車跑了。53Please respect copyright.PENANAbOwvt93DhA
廉頗以往扁人一撞就撞倒對方了,這次怎麽突然急轉而失撞?53Please respect copyright.PENANAVjCq7iKQfC
廉頗對自己的馬車進行了嚴肅認證的檢驗,個個零件、部件都結結實實的,沒什麽出毛病的地方。機會還多著呢,走著瞧,早晚讓他人仰馬翻。53Please respect copyright.PENANAnosAwm5sV9
第二次撞,又失撞。第三次撞,又失撞。第四次撞,又…………53Please respect copyright.PENANAIPuWrLqtYi
廉頗沒辦法了,555555的痛哭。53Please respect copyright.PENANA1LnzodDwya
「將軍,你去親自問問藺相如吧?」一個參將說。53Please respect copyright.PENANAatCQqT78Ax
「好吧!為增加我的扁人經驗,我去問問。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAp7DSJneVyl
這一天,廉頗脫下上衣,身後背上無數根長長的金條,來到藺相如門前。53Please respect copyright.PENANAu37HaFKTZ4
「愚笨之人不知我的馬車怎麽撞不上你的馬車。請告訴我,我身背的金條全部歸你!」廉頗說。53Please respect copyright.PENANAZNRDPZ3LGK
「唉——!」藺相如一聲長嘆,說:「你靠撞車扁人,也的學點科學啊。」53Please respect copyright.PENANA46XjNNLdEI
「科學?」廉頗問。53Please respect copyright.PENANAax2OvOFZpF
「磁石你知道嗎?」53Please respect copyright.PENANA0C1qk1v43K
「磁石?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAMClvUuPvJL
「磁石同性相斥,異性相吸。你的馬車下被我掛了塊磁石,是雄性的;我的馬車下也掛了一塊磁石,也是雄性的。你怎麽能接近我撞我啊?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAmgCaFEgjp9
「噢~~~~~~」廉頗點頭。53Please respect copyright.PENANAE8J5uJsr9X
「從現在起,我投戎從筆,我去學科學了!」廉頗說完要走。53Please respect copyright.PENANAmcsaTZgK3L
「金條!金條!」藺相如叫道。53Please respect copyright.PENANAxEravLsEZA
「拿去吧!」廉頗後背的無數根金條全給了藺相如。好讓人羨慕啊!53Please respect copyright.PENANA0z2D1qNIwP
53Please respect copyright.PENANAN5ed8rwS4P